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It wasn’t uncommon for you to stroll the halls well after dark, not that anyone knew it was something you did on a nightly basis. There was a certain spot outside of the temple that you liked to visit when you got the chance, where a break in the trees offered a peak at the night sky. Sometimes you did it to tire yourself out, other times to keep your mind occupied on the stars instead of whatever was keeping you awake. Tonight, however, was different. As usual, you couldn’t sleep, so there was nothing weird there. The reasoning was the thing that was bothering you.
You were lying in bed, doing your best to fall asleep, when a sudden loneliness settled in your chest. It came completely out of nowhere and had caught you so off guard that your eyes shot open. You shifted uncomfortably in your bed, trying desperately to will away the feeling that was steadily spreading from your heart into your veins. When you finally admitted defeat, you could feel it all the way into your toes. Whatever it was, it was keeping you awake, so you did what you always did when you couldn’t sleep.
Sneaking out of the living quarters was a piece of cake by now. You’d learned to carry your shoes instead of wearing them, to avoid making noise. It was easier to creep silently if you focused on your breathing and not the sound of your feet. It was all second nature at this point, and this time was no different. You slipped out easily, pulled on your shoes, and began wandering the dim hallways.
As you walked around, the feeling seemed to have made a home in your chest and showed no signs of moving out any time soon. You frowned to yourself and kept on going, now with more determination to evict the loneliness. About ten minutes into your little walk, you rounded a corner and noticed a figure leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway, head bowed and shoulder slumped. Your eyebrows drew together as you approached, doing your best to keep your footsteps quiet. Apparently you weren't as quiet as you thought you were, because the person turned their head and glanced at you over their shoulder.
“Hi,” Bodhi said, offering a small wave.
“Hey,” you replied. It was weird to see him out of uniform, his signature look of goggles and a gray jumpsuit replaced by a loose-fitting t-shirt and sweat pants. The boots were a nice touch, you had to admit.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.
“Nope,” you said, shaking your head and standing next to him. “You?”
“Nightmares,” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders and shifting his weight.
You knew that coming back from Scarif had left the entirety of Rogue One messed up, but you also knew that Bodhi had been through a whole lot more than just the battle. He’d opened up to you about it in the past, something he said he hadn’t been able to do since they’d returned. The stories he had to tell made your skin crawl and your blood boil, but there wasn’t much else you could do but listen.
“Are they getting bad again?” you asked.
He nodded in response and dropped his gaze. “They... never went away.”
“You told me they stopped,” you said, shooting him a concerned and disappointed look.
“I didn’t want you worrying about me,” he chuckled, looking up at you. “Cassian and the others do it enough as it is. I just wanted one less person to pity me, that was all.”
“I don’t pity you,” you explained, “I care about you.”
His eyes lit up at your words and he smiled. “I care about you, too.”
You returned the smile and glanced around the hallway, making sure no one could hear. It was unlikely, but you wanted to be certain. “Hey, can I show you something?”
-
Despite the cold air, the weather was perfect for star gazing. You led Bodhi outside into the night by the hand, being careful not to wake anyone or alert any guards on duty. They were much more prevalent outside than in, but you’d slipped past them so many times that it was easy to get to the forest without being caught.
When you finally reached your little haven, you sat together on a large tree root, staring up at the break in the treetops. A few wispy clouds floated across the night sky and a breeze shook the leaves on any and all forestry. You shivered against the cold and moved closer to Bodhi involuntarily, your body’s instincts kicking in. Without taking his eyes off of the sky, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, his hand running up and down your arm.
“Pretty cool, right?” you asked, staring up at the stars.
“It’s definitely better than staring at a ceiling,” he replied. You smiled at the awe in his voice. “Do you come out here a lot?”
“Just when I really can’t sleep,” you explained.
“You never did tell me why you couldn’t sleep earlier,” he said.
The feeling in your chest returned before you’d even realized it was gone. “I just... couldn’t sleep, y’know? Insomnia is a thing.”
“You’ve never been a very good liar,” he chuckled. His arm tightened around you and soon his face was inches from yours, so you looked forward to avoid eye contact. You also hoped it would mask the blush that burned the tip of your nose. That, however, could have been blamed on the cold.
You took a deep breath before speaking. “I just got really lonely all of the sudden. I don’t know why, but I just felt like I was completely alone and isolated. Obviously I’m not, but my brain still wants me to believe I am for some reason.”
“Sometimes you can’t trust your own brain,” he said with a nod, “And you’re right. You’re not alone at all.”
“It doesn’t feel like it sometimes,” you mumbled. Looked like your mind was getting the best of you.
Bodhi narrowed his eyes at you and grabbed your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You’re not,” he repeated himself, “You have me.”
You stared back at him in shock, the close proximity of his lips to yours making you shudder.
“You’re always there for me,” he went on, “Let me be there for you. Don’t shut me out.”
“I’m not,” you stuttered, “I just don’t know how to talk about these kinds of things.”
“You just have to tell me,” he said, his voice softening. You could have been imagining it, but you swore his face was getting closer to yours. His eyes left yours to stare at your lips for a split second before returning. “You don’t have to be afraid, I promise.”
Your breath caught in your throat as he spoke, and you silently wondered if he was still talking about venting to him. Your heart was screaming at you to lean forward the extra half inch and kiss him, but, right on schedule, your brain was being an asshole and told you it was a bad move. Bodhi watched you carefully, like he was trying to guess what you would do next.
Just to spite yourself, you listened to your heart over your head and closed the remaining space between you. Without a hint of hesitation, Bodhi smiled into the kiss and shifted the arm around your shoulders to place his hand on the base of your neck. The empty feeling in your chest quickly faded as his chapped lips moved against yours and he intertwined the fingers of his free hand with yours. The cool night air and his touch worked together to send goosebumps all over your skin.
Bodhi disconnected from the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, laughing breathlessly.
“I knew you’d do that,” he said, opening his eyes and peering into yours.
“Shut up,” you said playfully before pulling him back in for another kiss.
-
You made your way back together hand in hand as the night sky began to fade into dawn. Just like before, it was easy to sneak past prying eyes, so you had no problems getting back to the living quarters. Bodhi led you back to your bunk and gave you another lingering kiss.
“You can stay, you know,” you said, sitting on the edge of your bed.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea...” he trailed off, glancing around at the snoring rebels.
“They won’t care,” you chuckled, “I’ve seen them do plenty of weird shit, they won’t say anything.”
Bodhi shrugged and climbed into bed with you. You laid on your back with your head propped up while he rested on top of you, his face pressed against your neck and his breath tickling your skin. One of your hands became lost in his hair as he pressed gentle, absent-minded kisses to the side of your neck. Not before long, your eyelids grew heavy and you yawned, settling in closer to the embrace.
You looked around the room as Bodhi began to snore beneath you. A few people had woken and were silently readying for the day, and you wondered just how long you had to sleep before you needed to do the same. You glanced to your right and made eye contact with someone who was still in bed, but wide awake.
He raised an eyebrow at you and Bodhi, which you brushed off by smirking and closing your eyes. You tightened your hold on the dormant pilot’s shoulders and sighed in content, sleep soon taking you as well. For the first time in weeks, you were able to fall asleep in mere minutes, and Bodhi didn’t have a single nightmare.