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Victoria barely controls her eyeroll. Her parents can't tell her that they are proud of her, but they sure take every opportunity to brag about her to the family. Her aunties and uncles are always congratulatory as she passes each milestone, but never in a way that feels like they genuinely care for her. But she knows they will take the bragging rights they get from her accomplishments with gusto.
To make matters worse, there are no cousins around her age. She has all older cousins, and many of them have their own children. She wishes she had actual allies here— even her own father is useless. He winks at her and pulls faces at all the bullshit, but serves her up to the aunties for judgment all the same.
Victoria lets the chatter of her family wash over her now that they are focused on one of her cousins instead of her. She lets her mind drift to where she actually wants to be. Cassie McKay. Her resident. Well. A resident at least. Technically Robby is her supervisor, but she spends as much time as she can glued to Dr. McKay. It is only because she is such a good teacher though! Victoria sighs internally and settles her chin on her hand. That's not true and she knows it. Well, Dr. McKay is an excellent teacher, but that's not why she wishes she were with her. No, she has a big, fat, flaming crush on the older woman.
Victoria knows perfectly well that it's a bad idea, that Cassie will never reciprocate. That doesn't stop her from thinking somewhat dreamily about her inappropriate crush. Cassie is the first person in the world who has ever made her feel seen and listened to. She's the first person Victoria has felt safe with in a very long time. Surrounded by her family, she feels her loneliness more keenly than ever.
If she was at Cassie's house instead of this one, things would be different. Cassie always asks her real questions, and not just about her accomplishments or her theoretical career, but about her and her interests. Cassie loves her, she's sure of it. And she loves Cassie, too. She loves her kindness and her empathy, her firm guidance when needed, her care for Harrison. It's enticing.
Victoria buries her face for a moment. It is humiliating, this crush she has on her resident. A psychologist would have a field day, she's sure. Hell, even with only some basic psych classes she can make a few guesses herself. Lack of maternal affection, no friends except her teachers, kind of; it's embarrassing to be so basic. Still, she can't help it. Cassie is kind and firm and attractive. God, she's so hot it almost hurts. She's known she was bisexual in theory, but getting hit with both Mateo and Cassie on her first day had made her very sure of her sexuality. And the more time she spent with Cassie, the worse her attraction got.
She squeezes her eyes shut and feels a nudge from one of her cousins, Sophia. She glances up and Sophia gestures with her eyes at the aunties, who are clearly waiting for an answer from her about something. A terrified look at her cousin, who subtly taps her own ring. Ugh.
"No, I have no boyfriend, Auntie."
"Eileen, do you not worry that you will get no grandchildren? I know I was. My daughter didn't marry until she was 25 and it worried me half to my grave."
Victoria sees her mother stiffen. "We are very proud of all of Victoria's successes. She will marry when she is done with her residency, I am not worried." Victoria offers a smile and a nod to the group, praying that they move off her again. No one in this room would approve of Cassie at all, she knows. Not that she wants to marry Cassie. It's just, you know, sad and limiting. The conversation drifts away from her again, and for a split second, Victoria lets herself imagine what it would be like to have Cassie here at her side. As her girlfriend and a part of the family. She'd probably stand up for Victoria and tell her family to leave her alone, and how proud she is of her.
Victoria shakes herself a little. She has to stop this. Or at least restrict her daydreams to her bedroom. Yes, that sounds like a very good idea.