Chapter Text
Lloyd heaved another chunk of rubble sideways, eyes stinging from the dust. He had to find her. He had to. Maybe she had survived; maybe she was waiting for him under all this rubble. She had left Garmadon, gone to help the people, and got herself killed. No – she wasn't dead. She couldn't be.
He pushed aside yet more debris, uncaring for his exhaustion or the way the rocks were slowly shredding his hands. He paused, pulling a scrap of fabric out from under one of the stones. Turning it over in his hands, he stared down at the toy. It was one of those ninja dolls; they all had them, left over from when they were first famous in the eyes of the pubic.
The mask of the green ninja stared back at him, ripped and covered in dust. The toys were old, based off their original Gi's. Lloyd ran his thumb over the design, simple green patterns with no armour, designed for a child. He remembered the first time he wore it, told it was his destiny to face a father he loved, a destiny he neither chose nor wanted. This was the Gi he'd been wearing that day, when his actions as a child who wanted to not be alone, had led to the great devourer attacking Ninjago city.
He'd been powerless to stop it, already breaking the promise that he was to protect Ninjago. At the time, he didn't realise people got hurt. But now it seemed obvious. Of course they did, children like Harumi, barley older than he had been, left alone, without anyone to keep them safe.
Falling to his knees, he remembered what she had told him, the day he learned she was the quiet one.
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The mask of hatred was warm, as if it had fuelled the strange fire that had surrounded it. Lloyd stared down, has grasping the indigo edges. It felt wrong, corrupt, something no one should ever possess. He frowned. Harumi said only someone with Oni blood could take the mask.
"How did you know?"
He tilted the mask away as she reached for it, turning to look at her. Harumi's hand quickly fell back to her side; confusion plastered over her face at his question.
"I-It's an Oni temple," She gestured at the room around them, leaning forwards, "It's safe to assume only an Oni could take it."
He turned away from her, keeping his body between her and the mask as she took a few careful steps towards him. That wasn't what he asked.
"No." He shook his head, "How could you know, that I was part Oni?"
Her voice grew in volume, hands thrown up between them as they continued to tread around the cavern, "You're related to the first Spinjitzu master! He was an Oni," she rested a hand on his shoulder, seeing arm reaching around him towards the mask out of the corner of his eye, Lloyd wondered if she thought he wouldn't notice.
He span again, shaking off her hands and walking a few steps away.
"But I-I never told you that. Jay and I were alone when Mistake told us the story," He frowned at her, something about this wasn't right, "You were never there."
She stumbled towards him, face still holding her smile, but something had changed in her eyes. She seemed almost frantic as she continued, "Then I must have heard it from Jay!"
Harumi grabbed the top of the mask, trying to pull it from his grip. He resisted, using one hand to push her back slightly as he backed up and they began to circle each other. Surely not, she couldn't be.
"I don't wanna believe it," he said slowly, keeping distance between them as her face began to fall, she looked away, "You're the Quiet One?"
Still with her back to him, sounding just as hurt as he expected, but otherwise not reacting, she replied, "How could you say that?"
She rounded on him, and he flinched back, locking his green eyes on to hers. Maybe he was wrong, maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. He turned and walked across the room. The evidence was too much, now he began to think it through, how had he not noticed it earlier.
"It all makes sense now," he leant on the plinth where the mask had been, closing his eyes as pain bloomed behind his chest, knowing he was correct, "The greatest villain is the one you never knew was there in the first place."
His eyes hardened and he turned, finding she was right behind him, just as he expected. "You said that."
"Oh, yes." She laughed slightly, raising a hand to her chest in feigned shock, "I'm the criminal mastermind. How could I have done this?"
He bowed his head again, hearing her take another step towards him. She placed her hands on his back, turning him to face her, only a few inches separating them.
"Do you realise how silly you're sounding?" She looked down, "I-I love you."
The ache in his chest intensified at her words. How desperately he wanted to be wrong, to say it back, to forget this as a misunderstanding. But he couldn't. She leant down, eyes closed to kiss him and Lloyd put a hand on her chest, stopping her.
He shoved her roughly off him, "Stay. Back."
He warned, backing away, ignoring her cry of his name.
"You only wanted me to get the mask you couldn't find." They circle around the pillar in the room; she was good at this. Playing the part of the scared girl, he tucked the mask behind his back, as far from her reach as possible, other hand out between them.
"I didn't need you to find the mask."
His stomach dropped. Harumi's face flipped, shocked expression being replaced by one of rage. "It would've already been mine had your idiot friends not stolen Wu from us."
Was he hearing things. He lowered his guard slightly, shocked, "The baby is Master Wu?"
"Oh, that's right. You didn't know."
His uncle was alive, and a baby?
"Yes Lloyd, your precious Master. Haven't you realised yet?" She tilted her head mockingly at him, "Your oaths only poison those you would protect."
She started towards him again and he quickly retreated a few steps, stumbling slightly in his haste.
"I knew to keep you close. Not everything goes to plan." She backed him up against the edge of the floor they were on, sheer drop before him, trailing her hands across his shoulders. She gripped the edge of the mask, tugging it towards her.
"Give. Me. The mask!" He ripped it from her hands.
"Well, if you won't give it to me," He didn't see the strike coming until he was flying across the room, mask gone, pain from her kick exploding across his side. "Then I'll just have to take it!"
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She was right. He couldn't protect anyone. He failed. Over and over. Harumi. The city. The people. Everyone he swore to protect. He had failed the other Ninja, lost against that man who was not his father, left Ninjago in ruins like the ones he knelt in. Every time he promised to keep people safe, someone got hurt.
Tears dripped on to the dusty green doll, staining the ripped fabric. What was even the point. He was the green ninja. Destined to protect everyone, and yet since he had become that, people only seemed to get hurt. Ninjago had had peace for a thousand years before he was born. Then he arrived, Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, destined green ninja.
Even before he'd been the green ninja, he's caused problems. Releasing the Serpentine, which led to Lord Garmadon's return and the rise of the great devourer. That caused the overlord to rise, physically and then again within the digiverse. Zane's sacrifice had been his fault, too weak to stop the overlord taking his golden power.
Chen and his Anacondrai cultists had gotten all their powers from the tournament of elements, that they'd only attended to rescue Zane. His father's banishment to the curse realm released Morro and his ghosts across Ninjago. Lloyd's shoulder shook and his breaths heaved with sobs.
Even Nahdakan had been his fault, too weak of a leader to keep everyone safe. He couldn't even remember that timeline but based off what Jay and Nya told them it was true. Master Wu had been lost in time due to him, failing to protect him and take of the role of leading the ninja. The sons of garmadon had risen in the Ninja's absence, preoccupied by the search for their missing master, and he had been too much of a fool to realise what Harumi was. Trapping the Ninja in the first realm, losing the city. And now she – she, she was...
He had failed. Over and over. Maybe it would have been better if he had died on the streets. Run away from Darkley's and never met the ninja. Maybe then Ninjago would have been safe.
The green doll fell from his grasp as he breathed faster, blood rushing through his ears, drowning under the weight of his own failures. Lloyd was so tired. Tears ran rivulets through the dust on his face, as he sobbed atop the mound of debris. Ninjago's great protector, who could never protect any one at all.
Something warm, a hand, landed on his shaking shoulders. A warm body pressed itself to his side, bringing him close. Lloyd didn't move, allowing himself to be pulled up to his feet, knees bleeding from kneeling in the debris. Strong arms wrapped around him, drawing him against a chest taking slow, steady breaths.
Realising how fast his own breath was coming, Lloyd tried to match them, stuttering lungs heaving in air as he tried to calm down. He didn't deserve this comfort anyway. A gentle voice broke through the ringing in his ears, coaxing him down from the height of his distress.
"Easy buddy, breathe," Cole spoke slowly, continuing to count softly in time with his own breaths, "In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four—"
They continued for several minutes until Lloyd could draw air into his lungs again, tears never ceasing. Cole scooped him up into his arm, effortlessly, like Lloyd was still just as small as he had been when they first met. The master of earth picked his way down the debris pile, walking towards a waiting car and ducking into the back seat.
Lloyd noticed the other ninja all inside waiting, burying his head deeper into Cole's shoulder in shame. The vehicle began to move, driving back towards the monastery in silence.
While the worst of his sobbing had ceased, tears still dripped from his eyes, unable to stem the flow. Staining Cole's shoulder, he felt another hand come and rest on his back, rubbing soothing circles. He was so tired.
Why had they come looking for him? He hadn't been able to keep them safe, trapping them in another realm. He and Nya had thought they were dead for weeks before realising the wreckage of the bounty was incomplete. The car entered the secret garage at the base of the mountain, and everyone began to disembark.
Cole lifted Lloyd into his arms again, the boy squeezing his eyes shut, not wanting to look at the others and the disappointment on their faces. Fresh tears fell from his eyes, how was there still more water to be shed? He heard the hum off the lift up to the main monastery, smoothly rising through the secret entrance Pixal and Nya had carefully constructed during the rebuild.
He swayed slightly from side to side as they began to walk through the corridors, bypassing their individual rooms and all heading into the living room. He cracked open his eyes and saw Kai and Zane pulling cushions and blankets on to the floor, uncaring that they were all filthy.
Lloyd imagined they had checked no one had any serious injuries, and their collective exhaustion was too great to bother cleaning up until they had rested. He was passed between them and set down in the pile, just like they used to when he would have nightmares after missions and wanted them all around.
He didn't deserve it. They should all hate him, he had failed. But they were taking care of him – him, who was fine. Lloyd sniffed and someone wiped his eyes, tears finally drying as he fell into an uneasy sleep, too tired to think any more.