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“Hey, does anyone know what’s going on with Barnes? I haven’t seen him all day and he won’t open his door when I knock?” Sam asked as he walked into the kitchen. Everyone looked up at him and then back to what they were doing.
“He’s probably just sulking.” Clint said with a shrug. Sam made a face.
“Sulking about what exactly?” He asked and then narrowed his eyes when they all exchanged looks.
“Okay. Does someone wanna tell me what’s going on here?” he said, crossing his arms and staring at them.
“It’s obvious isn’t it?” Clint said as he turned around, everyone side eyed him with apprehension.
“It really fucking isn’t. You wanna let me in on the secret?” Sam said, he was getting annoyed now.
“You went on a date last night.” Clint said with a shrug.
“So? What does that have to do with him?” Sam asked. Clint tilted his head and looked at him with what Sam was pretty sure was pity.
“Come on man. It’s really simple.” Clint said, stilling giving Sam that look. Sam shook his head and held his hands out in frustration.
“He’s in love with you dude!” Clint nearly yelled. Natasha smacked him in the back of the head, he yelled and rubbed his hand over the spot.
“He’s…what? No, he’s not. He’s not in love with me.” Sam said slowly, looking around. He moved his eyes to Steve, who was standing near the stove attempting to look small, it wasn’t working.
“Steve?” Sam pushed. Steve looked up at him and shrugged with a cringe. Sam took a deep breath and then fell into one of the chairs at the table, hard.
“So…so what he’s…jealous?” Sam asked, looking around the kitchen at them.
“I’d lean more toward heartbroken but that’s just me. Would you stop hitting me!” Clint said and then yelled as Nat swung at his head again. She rolled her eyes at him.
“But… I mean I’ve been on dates before. I’ve- I’ve dated.” Sam stammered. Tony raised his eyebrows at him, he was being strangely silent about the whole thing.
“I have dated… haven’t I?” Sam asked weakly. They all shook their heads slowly.
“You haven’t dated anyone since I’ve met you. And that was like, years ago, I honestly don’t know how you function like that.” Tony said, finally speaking up. Sam sighed and dropped his head into hands, he rubbed at his face and then looked up again.
“Well…fuck.” He breathed. Steve moved toward him and sat down next to him.
“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out toward Sam’s shoulder and then changing his mind, he fisted his hand and moved it slowly down to his knee. Sam looked at him.
“Is Bucky?” he asked. Steve shrugged.
“He will be. Maybe you should go talk to him.” Steve suggested, trying to sound cheerful and missing completely. Sam nodded and stood up. He walked toward the door and then turned back around.
“And hey, if Bucky didn’t tell you all this on his own, and this is just you guessing and having been talking behind his back. You maybe need to chill with high school drama a little bit.” He said, shaking his head and then walking out.
He knocked on Bucky’s door for almost ten minutes with no answer. He tried talking through the door but he still got no answer. He walked back down stairs to the kitchen.
“Steve. Come with me.” He said and then left the kitchen again, Steve following on his heel. Sam stood silently next to the door and motioned for Steve to knock.
“Buck, come on man, it’s me. I brought you some food. You need to eat. I know you didn’t eat dinner last night.” Steve said, tapping his knuckles gently against the door. There was silent for a second and then the lock clicked and the door opened. Bucky was frowning when he opened the door.
“He made me do it!” Steve said quickly as Sam pushed him gently out of the way and stepped into Bucky’s room as Bucky stepped backwards, away from the door. Sam shut it behind him and locked the door again. He leaned back against the door, giving Bucky space but staring at him. His hair was a mess, and so was the rest of him. He had dark circles under his eyes and his t-shirt and sweatpants were all wrinkled like he’d been sleeping in them.
“Hey.” Sam said. Bucky bit his lip and looked at the floor.
“You okay?” Sam asked. Bucky nodded but didn’t say anything.
“So, I was just downstairs. And everyone down there seems to think there’s a reason you’re up here locked in your room.” Sam said quietly. Bucky furrowed his brow but still didn’t speak. Sam nodded to himself. He was used to Bucky not talking.
“Buck listen, I think you know what they said to me. Because you’re a smart guy, you hear things, even when people don’t think there’s anyone around to hear, you’re sneaky like that.” Sam said, and felt a little better when he saw Bucky smile a little.
“Yeah, see you know what they said. And I just need to tell you, that if what they said is true… it’s okay.” Sam said quietly, Bucky’s eyes snapped up to his.
“It is?” he asked, his voice shaking a little. Sam nodded. Bucky swallowed.
“I just…why didn’t you tell me?” Sam asked. Bucky grimaced and looked away again. Sam let him stay quiet, he watched him walk in a small circle a few times before looking back to Sam with a shrug.
“I didn’t know what to say? I didn’t- I didn’t wanna screw it up.” He said, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Screw up telling me, or screw up this?” Sam asked gesturing between them. Bucky bit his lip and shrugged again, his right shoulder lifting and then falling.
“Both I guess.” He said. Sam smiled at him and he laughed through his nose and smiled back. Sam opened his mouth to say something and then closed it quickly when Bucky started talking.
“It’s just- it’s been such a long time since I’ve wanted something. Since I’ve been, allowed, to want something. And I wanted it so bad. But I don’t- I’m not good at saying things anymore. So I guess I just figured not saying anything at all was the safest way to go.” He said, his voice was still quiet and the scrunched up look he was giving Sam just made him want to hug him. Sam nodded.
“Right. I guess I can see that. You’ve never been great at talking.” Sam said, smirking when Bucky looked up at him. Bucky licked his lips and tilted his head in agreement.
“Yeah well, I used to be.” He muttered, the way he did when he was really only talking to himself. Sam blinked at him slowly and then opened his mouth, only to be cut off again.
“So, how’d your date go?” Bucky asked. Sam wondered how much force it took him to actually sound that interested.
“It went… badly.” Sam said slowly, smiling when Bucky’s eyes widened.
“R-really? Why was it bad?” Bucky asked, wrapping his arms around himself. Sam thought he heard hope in Bucky’s voice and he got that, he felt that same thing fluttering around in his chest right now.
“He uh…” Sam laughed, shook his head, and looked at Bucky.
“He talked too much.” Sam said with a smile, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth when Bucky barked a laugh and then looked surprised that that sound had come out of him. Sam chuckled and nodded, and then started walking toward Bucky.
“Isn’t talking on a date good?” Bucky asked. Sam saw Bucky swallow hard as he watched Sam walking toward him. Sam shrugged.
“It can be. But I uh- I think I’ve a got a thing for this guy I know. He’s one of those…strong, silent types.” Sam said slowly, reaching out and wrapping his fingers around Bucky’s elbow, he pulled him forward a little. Bucky’s feet tripped over each other a bit and he stumbled forward, when he straightened up he was almost nose to nose with Sam.
“He sounds…nice. If you’re into that, I guess.” Bucky said, his breath shaking as Sam brought his other hand up to Bucky’s other elbow, he gave it a squeeze and Bucky’s eyes fell shut.
“Yeah. He is. And yeah, I am.” Sam whispered and brushed his nose against Bucky’s. Bucky sighed and shivered, he dropped his arms and moved his hands to Sam’s waist.
“That’s…great.” He breathed, swaying forwards a little.
“Mhm. Hey Buck?” Sam asked, moving his nose against Bucky’s and still holding onto Bucky’s arms.
“What?” he asked, biting his lips and slowly opening his eyes to look at Sam. There was a little wrinkle on his forehead that Sam wanted to soothe out with his fingers.
“I think I’m love with you.” Sam whispered. Bucky’s eyes went wide and he gulped.
“I…” he stopped, the wrinkle on his head deepening. Sam moved his thumb up and smoothed it out, and then moved his hand to Bucky’s neck, his thumb brushing against his jaw. Bucky smiled.
“I love you Sam.” He said it quickly, like he was afraid if he didn’t say it he never would. Sam laughed and bit his lip again.
“Yeah. I know.” he said with a small nod and then pulled Bucky forward, pressing their lips together gently, Bucky’s arms wrapped around his back slowly, pulling him closer as he sighed into the kiss, basically melting into Sam. Sam smiled and broke the kiss when Bucky smiled too and their teeth clicked together. He pulled back a little and looked at Bucky.
“Next time, when you wanna tell me something. Just tell me. Cuz we coulda been doing this for awhile now.” Sam said, Bucky nodded.
“Okay, well. In that case. That gap in your teeth makes my head feel all fuzzy when you smile.” Bucky breathed, biting his lip and scrunching his nose up as he looked at Sam. Sam sighed and made a frustrated sound.
“God you’re adorable.” He breathed, making Bucky smile and then pulling him into another kiss, smiling against Bucky’s lips again as he laughed into the kiss.