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Theo’s first dinner with his Aunt Maddie and Uncle Chimney was going surprisingly well.
Not that Buck thought it was going to go badly, exactly, but — well. Theo was the kind of kid that liked to climb things he shouldn’t and occasionally set small house fires, so you never really knew what you were going to get with him.
It’d been almost a year since Theo first came to live with him, and Buck could hardly believe they both made it this far in one piece. No matter how many times he went to Hen for advice about fostering, or Eddie for reassurance that it was normal for a new parent to feel like their stomach was about to fall out of their ass, nothing could have prepared him for the day it became official. One signature on the dotted line, and suddenly he was solely responsible for the health and happiness of an entire human being – a four-year-old kid, fresh off one of the most awful tragedies he’d likely ever experience in his life but still too young to even fully understand it.
And the State of California entrusted his well-being to Buck of all people.
That was all he could think about that first night. When he tucked Theo into his little racecar bed, and that innocent little boy looked up at him with the biggest, roundest eyes and asked if his Mommy was coming back from Heaven soon, Buck had half a mind to call Diedra and make sure she knew what she was doing leaving Theo in his care. Theo, who was a lit firecracker on his best days, who ran headlong into life (and occasionally walls) with the kind of curiosity that Buck recognized in himself, who was storing so much grief and confusion and sadness in his little body that neither he nor his official, legal, actual and for-real foster dad didn’t know what to do with.
That was the crux of it – Buck didn’t know what he was doing. But thankfully, for his and Theo’s sake, he knew a lot of people who did.
A peal of high-pitched laughter cut through the noise of his thoughts, and all at once Buck was back in the living room, the soft glow of Theo’s nightlight morphing into the bright, warm light of Maddie’s chandelier as the memory retreated into the back of his mind. He let it go willingly – he didn’t feel the need to linger there, chasing the ghosts of his own self-doubt. Today, Theo was saying his pleases and thank-yous like a champ, eating his mac and cheese with an actual fork instead of his fingers, and was having the time of his life playing with his new cousin in the backyard.
That was all that mattered. Theo was happy.
And supervised! Which, admittedly, was half the reason Buck begged Eddie and Chris to join him in the first place – an extra pair of eyes to keep track of the kids was never a bad thing, even if they belonged to a semi-enthusiastic teenager.
The other half of the reason was no one’s business but his own.
“Okay, back up a second,” Maddie laughed casually, lifting her half-empty glass of wine to her lips. “He climbed the flagpole?”
Eddie smirked proudly into his own glass. “All 20 feet of it. His teachers actually sounded kind of impressed on the phone.”
“Please stop encouraging him,” Buck grumbled at his side, scrubbing a hand through the scruff clinging to his chin. “At this rate, he’ll be climbing Mount Everest before he’s even old enough to drive.”
“Should’ve thought about that before you decided to procreate,” Chimney said with a shrug, ignoring Buck’s unamused stare as he reached nonchalantly for another piece of cheese. “You played a dangerous game bringing another Buckley into the world.”
Maddie cleared her throat pointedly. Chimney, smartly, did not attempt to make eye contact.
“A game that we absolutely crushed when we made our two perfect angels, of course,” he said sweetly, offering his wife a crispy breadstick wrapped in prosciutto. “More charcuterie?”
“Smooth. Very smooth.” Maddie turned her gaze back to Buck. “So what did you say when you picked him up?”
“Oh, uh.” Buck cleared his throat softly. “I didn’t pick him up. Eddie did.”
Maddie’s glass paused halfway to her mouth. Her gaze sharpened just a little, just enough for Buck to notice. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” Buck shrugged, dipping the tip of his finger into his iced tea to swirl the ice around the glass. “I had to run to the store. Eddie’s on the pick-up list. I called in a favor.”
“Right…hey, Howie, are we on the pick-up list for either of Hen’s kids?” she asked, about as innocent as a cat looking you dead in the eye while it pushed a glass towards the edge of a table.
“Mm, nope,” Chimney said, equally as nonchalant. “Pretty sure we’re not.”
“Huh. Interesting.” Before Buck could stop her, Maddie turned to Eddie with a casual smile. “So, what did you say when you picked him up?”
Eddie, seemingly oblivious to Maddie’s overt attempt to ruin Buck’s fucking life, let a fond smile tug at the corner of his mouth. “Just that if he wanted to climb stuff that badly, I’d take him rock climbing. That way, he could go as high up as he wanted without getting hurt.”
Buck blinked. Somewhere in the back of his head, he could hear the faint wail of sirens. “You did?”
“Yeah, of course,” Eddie said, easy as anything. “There’s a climbing gym over in Lincoln Heights that runs an Adaptive Climbing Club on Thursdays, so Chris could join in, too. I already got us a family pass.”
Slowly but surely, Buck’s cheeks turned a soft, sunset pink. Maddie snorted, hiding her triumphant grin behind the rim of her glass.
Eddie’s eyes darted between them, his brow furrowed. “…What?”
“Man, the time’s really flown by,” Maddie said suddenly, stretching her arms with a far too casual yawn. “The little ones are gonna have to go to bed soon. Buck, mind helping me clean up?”
Buck blew a breath out of his nose, not unlike a bull about charge. “Yeah. Sure.”
Before he could fully rise to his feet, the back door slammed open, followed by a stampede of little feet.
“Buck! Can we have apple juice?” Theo asked, sprinting into the room with Jee’s hand firmly clutched in his. They both shot him their biggest, most pleading grins, and all at once the tension in Buck’s shoulders began to loosen.
“Hmm, maybe if–”
“Theo, you know the rule about juice before bed,” Eddie cut in suddenly, shooting the boy a knowing look with his arms crossed over his chest. Theo’s smile twisted into a pout.
“But that’s at Buck’s house. This is Aunt Maddie’s house.”
“Yeah, Mommy’s older than Uncle Buck. She makes the rules,” Jee insisted, dropping Theo’s hand to cross her arms right back at Eddie.
Maddie smirked, looking right at Buck. “You know, she does have a point.”
“Maddie, I swear to God–”
“Okay, how about this?” Chimney jumped in, shooting Buck a look before turning the charm on for his nephew, dropping to a knee in front of him with a sly smile. “You promise to go right to bed when you get home, and I’ll let you try Uncle Chimney’s special apple juice.”
Theo’s eyes widened with wonder. “Special?”
“Oh yeah, the special-est there is.” Over Theo’s head, Chimney shot Eddie a wink. “I cut it with some water. They can never tell the difference,” he stage-whispered.
Eddie sighed. “Fine. Let’s go try the ‘special juice’.”
The kids cheered, charging into the kitchen with dual roars of delight. Chimney was hot on their heels, but before Eddie could chase after them, Buck grabbed him by the elbow.
“His sippy cup is–”
“In the side pocket of your travel bag, I know,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes fondly. He pulled away, but only far enough to reach Buck’s hand and give it a quick squeeze before following Chimney and the kids into the kitchen.
Buck could feel Maddie’s eyes on him as they started to collect the dishes, but he kept his own fixed firmly on the table. If he looked, she would look even more, and then she’d see, and – no. No thank you. He’d just stay nice and quiet, they’d do the dishes, and he’d manage to escape the trap she set for him without having to chew off his own leg.
For a moment, the only sound to break the tense silence was the gentle clinking of plates and silverware.
“…I still think it wouldn’t be crazy.”
Buck’s fingers fumbled a cheese knife onto the table with a sharp clatter. “Maddie.”
“I’m sorry, but that was just–” Maddie laughed in disbelief, running a hand through her hair. “Wow. Where do I even begin?”
“Keep your voice down,” Buck hissed, eyes darting to the little juice party happening barely 30 feet away from them.
“Why? Afraid your boyfriend will hear me?”
“He’s not my–” Buck cut himself off with a sharp huff, giving himself a moment to lower his own voice. “You know what? I’m not doing this with you right now.”
“Oh, yes you are,” Maddie insisted. She snagged the edge of Buck’s sweater sleeve, dragging him over to her side of the table. “It’s been over a year since the last time we had this talk, and as far as I can tell, this whole situation has gotten a lot worse.”
Buck let out an indignant scoff. “What ‘situation’?”
“Well, let’s see.” Maddie started counting off on her fingers. “Eddie’s on the pick up list at Theo’s school, he buys family passes for you and your kids, he enforces your rules about juice, he knows where the sippy cup is–”
“Alright, alright, fine,” Buck hissed, still eyeing the kitchen warily. When he was sure Eddie was still distracted by Theo, he faced his sister with a reluctant sigh. “So Eddie has been around a little more than usual. So what? I’m a single foster dad with a kid that just lost both of his parents, and he’s being a good friend and helping me out. That’s all.”
“That’s all,” Maddie parroted flatly, so much so that Buck can’t tell if it’s meant to be a question or a statement.
“Yeah! Like, y’know, he picks Theo up from school if I’m busy. That’s normal.”
“Sure,” Maddie hummed.
“…And usually every Thursday, so they can both pick up Chris from his robotics club.” Maddie pressed her lips a little flatter. Buck just shrugged. “Theo likes robots.”
“Uh huh.”
“And yeah, he usually brings Chris over for dinner once or twice a week.” A beat passed, and Buck winced. “Sometimes three times, but only if we haven’t had time to go grocery shopping yet. I have more storage space for bulk stuff, so I don’t run out as fast.”
For a long moment, Maddie just stared at him. She blinked once, twice, then steadied herself with a slow breath.
“If you’re about to tell me that you share a Costco membership, I might actually break this plate over your head.”
Buck’s mouth opened and closed around nothing. “…It’s cheaper.”
Maddie let out a weary sigh. “Evan. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that there’s nothing going on between you two,” she said, gesturing pointedly with a stray wedge of provolone.
Buck, for lack of a decent comeback, snagged the provolone from her fingers and shoved it into his own mouth with a petulant snap of his teeth.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he declared around his mouthful of cheese.
“Really?” Maddie asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Alright. Let me put it in words you might understand.” She cleared her throat, and then, in what Buck assumed was supposed to be an impression of him– “You’re always talking or texting each other, you sing karaoke together, you do Buff-Fridays, you finish each other’s sentences–”
“Oh come on, that’s – that is so not the same thing,” Buck interrupted, rolling his eyes. It sounded weak, even to him, but he kept his jaw clenched so it wouldn’t show on his face.
“Why not?” Maddie laughed, like the answer was obvious. When he didn’t say anything, her gentle mockery slowly morphed into something genuine, her eyes softening with a cloying pity that made Buck’s skin itch. “Don’t you want it to be?”
“Don’t,” Buck all but begged, fighting to keep his voice steady as Eddie’s gentle laughter floated in from the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eye, Buck could see him kneeling at Theo’s side, whispering something under his breath that had him and Jee dissolving into helpless giggles, and…God. God, did he want.
The awful truth was that Buck didn’t know how to do anything but want. He wanted to be someone who mattered, so he became a firefighter. He wanted a place to live that felt like his, so he moved into a new house. He wanted to be there for Theo, to love him the way Connor and Kameron would want him to be loved, so he fostered him.
He wanted Eddie. He didn’t even remember when he started wanting him, but God, did he want him. So when Eddie chose to step up, to step in to the chaos of raising Theo alongside him, Buck let him in without a second thought.
Because what was he supposed to do, say no? Eddie was his best friend. Buck didn't have to ask him for anything, he just had to keep leaving the door open and Eddie would show up when Buck needed him – and, increasingly, even when he didn’t. And if Buck had the balls to say anything about it, which he didn’t, he knew Eddie would brush it off as no big deal, because that’s what Buck had been doing for him and Christopher since the day they met, and then Buck would have to look that whole can of worms in the eye and fight the urge to grab a can opener, and –
Okay, he might have wanted Eddie so badly that he was actually losing his mind.
But hey, what else was new? Buck had spent most of his life going a little crazy whenever he wanted something. He’d chase it, throw himself headfirst into the pursuit of whatever might finally make him feel like he belonged somewhere – frat parties, beach bars, strangers’ beds – and pretend not to be disappointed when none of it stuck.
He couldn’t let Eddie be one of those things. He couldn’t ruin what they had by pining for something his straight best friend could never give him. He would take what he could get, and if he had to spend the rest of his life swallowing his feelings along with his pride, then that’s what he would do.
“Evan,” Maddie breathed, laying a gentle hand on Buck’s shoulder. Buck tried to duck it, but her fingers caught in his sweater, holding him there until he finally looked her in the eye. “Hey. It’s okay.”
Buck let out a rough sound, somewhere between a scoff and a whimper. “Right, yeah.”
“Look, I know it’s none of my business,” Maddie said, eyes glinting in a way that meant it 100% was her business. “But you’re my little brother, and I just…I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy,” Buck insisted, even as the words tore their way out of his chest like they were killing him. “I can…I can be happy like this.”
Maddie shook her head, a forlorn whisper of a smile tugging at her mouth. “Not forever. You’re not built that way. You love so fiercely, Buck, and I know you, I know it’s killing you to hold it all back. No, listen to me–” She gripped his chin between her fingers when he tried to duck his head, to escape the sharp blade of her insight before it cut him to the core. “You have spent your whole life letting people love you halfway, and you deserve more. You deserve to be loved, Evan.”
The rest of the world fell silent. Eddie could be eavesdropping on their whole conversation, and Buck wouldn’t even have a clue. He could taste Maddie’s words in his own mouth, pounding at the back of his teeth, demanding to be spoken aloud because he knew, deep down, that they were right. She was right.
Not that he would ever give her the satisfaction of telling her that to her face.
“He…he doesn’t love me halfway, Maddie,” he said instead.
“I know.” Maddie nodded, lips curled in a knowing smile. “And you probably would too, if you’d ever stop getting in your own way.”
Buck sucked in a breath. He wanted to fire back, to tell her to stop looking at him like she’d won something, but before he could even open his mouth, Theo came barrelling into the room, heralded by the tell-tale patter of little feet wearing only one shoe.
“Buuuuck! Teddy lost my shoe,” he announced, clinging to Buck’s leg with one hand while pointing an accusatory finger at Eddie with the other.
“I did not! It’s just…hiding,” Eddie insisted, voice muffled as he bent over to search beneath the kitchen table. “Ugh, Buck, have you seen his other shoe?”
“It’s, uh–” Buck cleared his throat, running his fingers through Theo’s curls. “It’s in here, I can see it peeking out from under the couch. Theo, take it to Teddy and let him finish getting you ready to go, okay?”
“‘Kay.” And just like that, Theo was off like a shot, snagging his shoe and presenting it to Eddie as if he was the one who found it. Buck smiled before he could stop himself, not even caring that Maddie was watching him melt over Eddie helping Theo with his shoes. He was treating the laces like puppets, narrating a little story about a bunny running around a tree to help Theo understand what he was doing, to prepare him for when he would start tying his own shoes, and it was just so…
Perfect. Everything was perfect.
So why the hell was he thinking about ruining it?
Beside him, Maddie softly cleared her throat. He managed to tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him, only to find his sister watching him with a smug little grin.
“Teddy?”
Buck closed his eyes.
“Shut up.”
~oOo~
Buck had been thinking about taking Maddie’s advice for the better part of an hour.
Which was insane, obviously. Insane, and greedy, and – and stupid. It was probably the stupidest thing he could ever even think of doing, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it out of his head. Faces kept flashing behind his eyes – strangers, partners, his parents – and with each one, Buck could feel the want whimpering in his chest like a hungry dog, a pathetic thing begging to be seen, heard, loved. They might throw it a bone when he got too needy, a crumb of affection to soothe the worst of the ache, but it was never enough. He was never enough.
He’d gotten so used to it by now that he barely even knew it was there. But in one night, Maddie had managed to poke and prod until it roared back to life, and Buck wasn’t sure it could be sated by scraps anymore.
Buck huffed an angry sigh and scrubbed harder at Theo’s sippy cup. He'd been hovering over the sink for ages, working at the same stubborn patch of dried juice like he could somehow scrub his way out of the mess his sister had dragged him into. God, why couldn’t she just leave well enough alone? Buck had a family. He had Theo, and Christopher, and Eddie, and he was happy. He was. Eddie wasn’t like the rest of them – he loved Buck as best he could, and it was Buck’s own fault for wanting more than Eddie could give him.
He wanted more. But he didn’t need it. He already had everything he needed, right in front of him.
Except now that Maddie had said it, he couldn’t stop imagining it - what it would be like to have more. To come home to Eddie, to raise a family with Eddie, to call Eddie his. He’d spent so long telling himself he couldn’t have it that he never even wondered if it was possible, and the way Maddie had told him to get out of his own way, the glint in her eye like she knew something he didn’t…
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He’d spent the entire drive home from Maddie's trying not to think about it, he’d left Eddie to handle Theo’s bedtime routine on his own so he could try not to think about it, and now here he was, alone in the kitchen, thinking about it so hard he was pretty sure Eddie could hear him pining from halfway across the house.
He was so caught up in his own head that he didn't even hear Eddie approach. One second, he was alone with his thoughts and a sippy cup that was never going to get any cleaner, and the next, Eddie was beside him, leaning back on his elbows against the kitchen counter.
“The boys are ready for bed,” he said.
Buck made a soft noise under his breath and kept scrubbing.
“Theo went down without much fuss,” Eddie continued, keeping his tone casual despite the way his eyes lingered on Buck’s soapy hands. “Playing with Jee must’ve really tired him out, even with the extra sugar.”
“That’s good,” Buck hummed. He kept his eyes trained downward as he filled the sippy cup with water, swirled it a few times, and poured it out. Then did it again. And again.
Eddie watched him silently. It was the third time tonight that Buck could feel himself being observed – first in the car on the way home from Maddie’s, then again when Buck asked him to get Theo into his pajamas without even looking him in the eye. Eddie didn’t say anything either time, but Buck could feel the question building in the tense air between them, and he kind of hoped Eddie would just ask it before Buck’s fingers got too pruney.
“...Doesn’t sound like it’s good,” he finally said, and fuck, wasn’t that just perfect. Buck felt like he could blink and be back unpacking groceries in Eddie’s kitchen, carrying the weight of the El Paso job offer on his heart and jumping at the closest opportunity to pick a fight. God, the last thing he wanted was for this to turn into a fight.
“I’m fine. I’m just tired,” he insisted.
Eddie scoffed, mouth twitching with something fond. “No you’re not. You don’t get this tense when you’re tired.” He shifted closer, just enough for Buck to feel the warmth of his body heat as he nudged their shoulders together. “Come on, what’s up?”
Buck’s jaw tightened just as his fingers went slack, the sippy cup slipping free and falling into the sink with a wet clatter. He stared at it for a long time, feeling the phantom squeeze of Eddie’s hand in his, and he just–
“...What are we doing, Eddie?” he finally asked, shutting off the faucet and turning to give Eddie his full attention. He’d traded in his dress shirt and slacks for flannel pants and a well-worn Henley, the softness of the fabric clashing with the hard furrow of his brow.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean – this,” Buck said, gesturing between them with his still wet hands. “The family dinners, the sleepovers, the bedtime routine, the – the sippy cup.”
A half-amused smile tugged at Eddie’s mouth. “The sippy cup.”
“Yes, the sippy cup,” Buck insisted, the hungry dog in his chest already starting to growl. “You know where Theo’s sippy cup is. You know he’s not supposed to have juice before bed, but you love him enough to let him have it anyway because you knew how special tonight was for him. You – you get him ready for bed.” Buck ran his fingers through his hair with a broken laugh. “You know, the nights that you’re not here, he asks me where his Teddy is? And I don’t even know what to say to him. How am I supposed to explain what you are to me to a four-year-old, Eddie?”
Eddie’s smile dropped, the playful glint in his eye replaced with something softer, sadder. “Buck...look, if I overstepped, I’m sorry. I never meant to–”
“No!” Buck interrupted. “That’s not – fuck, okay.” He scrubbed his hands over his eyes with a deep sigh, then clenched them into fists, tight, tight, tighter, until he’d bolstered enough courage to drop them to his sides and look Eddie in the eye. “You didn’t overstep. That’s the problem. If anything, you understepped.”
Eddie blinked, confused. “What are you–”
“I tried not to want it, okay? You have to believe me when I tell you I tried,” Buck cut him off again. “But I can’t help it. Being with you, raising a family with you, it’s – it’s good. We’re good together, and I…I want it to be real.”
The silence was deafening. It only lasted for a few seconds, but to Buck, it felt like an eternity. Eddie’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, his wide eyes reflecting the glare of the overhead light.
“Buck…you’re serious?” he finally asked in a small, hesitant voice.
“Dead serious,” Buck said, unflinching. Now that he’d finally opened the floodgates, he couldn’t seem to stop the words from pouring out. “And it's not just about Theo. I wouldn't have made it this far with him without you, and I'll be grateful for everything you've done for us until the day I die, but this - us, it's...it's about you. It's always been about you."
Eddie stayed quiet. He blinked, and he looked, and God only knows what he saw, but he didn't speak.
Buck swallowed roughly. "And look, I know you don’t want me that," he said. "You’re straight, I’m your best friend, and that’s fine, but – but I can’t pretend like it’s not killing me to almost have you, Eds. To…to play house with you, like this, it’s just…”
He squeezed his eyes shut, the words dying in his throat. Fuck. This wasn’t how he wanted this to go. He didn’t want to make Eddie feel bad for something that wasn’t his fault, or guilt trip him into fulfilling a dream that would never come true.
Except, when Buck finally opened his eyes again, Eddie didn’t look guilty. A little sad, maybe, but more than anything, he looked amused. He was smiling, his eyes glinting playfully as they met Buck’s without hesitation.
“Is that what you think I’ve been doing?” he asked, one eyebrow lifting. “Playing house?”
…Oh. There were those sirens again.
Buck just stood there, listening to them wail, trying to reconcile the words that had just come out of Eddie’s mouth with every assumption Buck had ever made about them. Surely Eddie couldn’t mean–
A gentle tug at the hem of his sweater interrupted the thought.
“Buuuck,” Theo whined, driving his forehead into Buck’s hip. “Can’t sleep. Storytime?”
Buck stammered, staring down dumbly at his wild head of curls. “Uh…Theo, can–”
“You know what? Yeah, bug, it’s storytime,” Eddie interrupted, sweeping Theo into his arms without ever taking his eyes off of Buck. “Come on. I’ve got a really special one for you.”
And with that, Eddie carried Theo back to his room, shooting Buck a wink over his shoulder just as he disappeared down the hallway.
Buck…wasn’t sure he remembered how his feet worked.
After an embarrassingly long time, he managed to follow after them, and the sight that greeted him when he got to Theo’s door made his heart skip a beat. Chris was sitting up on his air mattress, looking just as fond as Buck felt as Eddie tucked a giggling Theo back into his racecar bed, making roaring engine noises with his mouth while Theo pretended to steer. Eddie looked almost unreal in the gentle glow from the lamp on Theo’s nightstand, all warm and soft and so, so sweet that Buck could hardly look at him without wanting to cry. How had he ever managed to pretend he didn’t want this?
“Alright, kid, settle in,” Eddie said, ruffling Theo’s curls. “Because I’m about to tell you the best bedtime story you’ve ever heard.”
“Better than the dinosaurs?” Theo asked, wide-eyed with wonder.
“Way better,” Eddie insisted. His eyes darted over to Buck, and Buck swore he could see the electricity crackling in the air when their gazes met. “Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince.”
“Where?” Theo interrupted.
“Uh…a faraway kingdom, filled with magic, and dragons, and fairies.”
“And dinosaurs?”
“Why don’t you let me tell the story, and you’ll find out?” Eddie asked, lifting one eyebrow. Theo mimed zipping his lips shut, and Eddie smiled. “Alright then — the prince grew up in a big, empty castle, and when he got older, he realized he wasn’t happy. So, he decided to travel around the whole kingdom to find the place where he really belonged.”
Chris couldn’t help but snort. “Sounds familiar.”
Eddie shot him a look. “Shh. Anyway, after many years of traveling, trying new things, and meeting new people, the prince finally found somewhere to settle down. It was a long way from home, but he didn’t really mind. He’d found a job that made him happy - fighting monsters.”
Eddie lunged at Theo with a playful growl, sending him into fits of giggles. Buck watched them, one shoulder braced against the doorframe, trying very hard to remember that standing upright was something he'd been doing successfully for most of his life before he met Eddie.
“And for a while, that was all he thought he needed.” Eddie’s gaze met Buck’s again, his whole face going soft at the sight of him. “Until one day, his life turned upside down when he met a brave, equally handsome knight.”
Buck tried to laugh, but the sound got caught around the knot in his throat, coming out more like a whimper. Eddie’s smile only grew.
“The knight had a son who he loved very much,” Eddie continued, nodding towards a grinning Christopher. “And the two of them had been looking for somewhere they belonged, too. Thankfully, it didn’t take either of them long to figure out that this was exactly where they were supposed to be – with the prince.”
Theo leaned forward, unable to tear his eyes away from Eddie. “Then what happened?”
“Well, the prince and the knight became best friends. They did everything together – they worked together, ate together, took care of the knight’s son together. They spent time with other people, too – some a little nicer than others,” Eddie said slyly, shooting Buck a look. “But no matter what, they always came back to each other. To their family.”
Theo giggled softly to himself. “Family.”
“That’s right, bug,” Eddie said, laying his hand over Theo’s where it was curled into the hem of his bedsheets. “The prince, the knight, and his son were a family. But one day, something strange happened. While the prince was out riding through the kingdom, he heard a terrible noise coming from the woods. It was a great big roar, loud enough to scare the birds right out of the trees.”
Theo's eyes went wide. “A dragon?”
“Even scarier,” Eddie whispered, leaning in close. “...A goblin.”
Theo dissolved into another fit of laughter, kicking his feet beneath the blankets.
“A very small goblin,” Eddie continued, holding his hand up to indicate a height that was probably a little generous for Theo's actual size. “With wild hair, and sharp teeth, and the loudest roar in the entire kingdom. And he was very upset, because he'd gotten lost in the woods and couldn't find his way home.”
“Was he scared?” Theo asked.
“He was,” Eddie admitted. “They both were. The prince had never met a goblin like him before, and he didn’t really know what to do. So, he got down off his horse, knelt in front of the scared little goblin, and asked him for his name. And his name was…”
A beat, and then Theo gasped in delight. “THEO!” he roared, shoving both fists in the air.
“Very good,” Eddie praised, holding his hand up for a high-five that Theo gladly gave. “Yes, the little goblin’s name was Theo. So, the prince decided to bring Theo back to his cottage in the woods and take care of him like he was his own. And do you know what happened next?”
Theo shook his head so hard his curls bounced.
“The prince, the knight, and their two kids became an even bigger family,” Eddie said, reaching out to tuck a stray curl behind Theo’s ear. “And they were all going to live happily ever after – but, there was a problem.”
“More monsters?” Theo gasped.
Eddie shook his head fondly. “No, no more monsters.” He paused, taking a steadying breath. “See, the prince was being a little silly. He thought he was the only one who wanted the four of them to be a family, even though the knight thought he was being pretty obvious about how much he wanted it, too.”
Buck went completely still. He had let himself get lost in the story, in Eddie’s smiling face and Theo’s happy little giggles, but it all came rushing back to him second Eddie said…fuck. Holy shit, did he actually…?
“But, uh.” Eddie rubbed a sheepish hand over the nape of his neck. “The knight realized that he hadn’t been very brave, lately, and that he probably should’ve been honest with the prince before he had to resort to something silly, like telling him he loved him through one of the goblin’s bedtime stories.”
He did. Fuck, he did.
Buck forgot how to breathe. The words echoed in his head, utterly obliterating whatever remained of his ability to think.
Loved him. Loved him. Loved him.
“That doesn’t make any sense, Teddy,” Theo said, nose wrinkled. “How does the story end?”
Eddie's gaze found Buck's again, and this time, he didn't look away.
“I don’t know, Buck,” he said, fighting back a grin. “How does it end?”
Up until that moment, Buck wouldn’t have known how to answer him. He could barely even manage it now, still struggling to wrap his mind around the fact that Eddie was looking at him like this, and wanted him like that, and–
“I think,” he finally said, voice shaky. “That if the brave knight wants to find out, he should join the handsome prince in the hall.”
A small, shy grin tugged at the corner of Eddie’s mouth. He pushed himself off the bed, reaching out to turn off the lamp without ever looking away from Buck.
“Goodnight, boys,” he said absentmindedly, making a beeline for the door.
“But I want to know how it ends!” Theo whined.
“I’ll tell you later,” Christopher reassured him, ducking his head to hide his proud grin.
And with that, Buck and Eddie slipped out the door and shut it behind them, plunging themselves into darkness.
“...So, was that clear enough for you, or–”
Buck backed him up against the wall and kissed him before he could even finish his sentence.
Eddie made a surprised noise against his lips, and Buck took it greedily into his mouth, savoring the taste like a man starved. Eddie’s hands found Buck’s waist, steadying them both, and then he was kissing him back, smiling so much that Buck could barely get a proper kiss in. It was ridiculous. It was perfect.
When they finally broke apart, Eddie rested his forehead against Buck’s.
“Well,” he murmured, beaming brightly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Buck let out a breathless laugh. “Hey,” he said softly.
Eddie’s smile faded into something gentler. “Hey.”
“I love you, too, by the way,” Buck breathed, tracing the tip of his nose over Eddie’s cheek. “Just so you know.”
Eddie pulled back a bit, staring at him for what felt like forever. Then all at once, his whole face lit up, barely illuminated by the hallway’s dim nightlight and still the brightest thing Buck had ever seen, and he thought, with a sudden, ridiculous rush of affection, that he would do just about anything to see that look again.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Buck brushed his thumb over Eddie’s cheek. “Though I really would’ve preferred a slightly less elaborate confession. Maybe dinner first. Some flowers.”
“Shut up, no you wouldn’t,” Eddie groaned. Buck ducked his head with a laugh, but Eddie grabbed him by the chin, tugging until their eyes met, his gaze suddenly so intense it nearly bowled Buck off his feet. “But if you want flowers, they’re yours. Dinner, movies, dancing, whatever you want. It’s yours. I’m…” Eddie sighed brokenly, cupping Buck’s jaw in his big, broad hand and dragging back in for a long, slow, perfectly sweet kiss. “I’m yours, Buck.”
And for once, Buck didn't have to wonder what it meant. He didn’t have to worry about whether he was asking for too much, or how long he had before it all slipped through his fingers. He knew this was it. He knew Eddie was it.
And all he could think, right as he dragged Eddie back in to satisfy his hunger once and for all, was: Oh God, Maddie is never going to let me live this down.