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“We’re nearing the end of the night, grab your partner and head down to the dancefloor whilst you still can!”
The headteacher’s voice was almost a mock to Dan. He’d been at the school only a month, and it just had to be the time of Prom, this school apparently had Prom months earlier than any other. He had yet to make any friends, nobody beyond a hi in the hallway and people who took pity on him and let him sit next to them in lessons.
He was at his own Prom, sat in the back of the hall, on a table alone, harbouring a multitude of sighs.
He should’ve known.
People like Dan Howell don’t date people like Sam Copeland. He was stupid for thinking any different.
It happened on Dan’s second week at the school, when he’d volunteered to stay behind after Science class to tidy up after a particularly messy round of experiments. Sam slipped into the room as the teacher left, and Dan distinctly remembered how it felt when Sam’s fingers brushed against his own as he helped Dan with carrying the test-tube racks.
They idly chatted for about an hour, Sam asked how Dan was settling in and told him some tips and tricks about the school, and they chatted about their likes and dislikes, they were getting along like a house on fire. Then, out of the blue, Sam stared him straight in the eyes and asked shyly if Dan wanted to go to prom with him. Dan’s world felt a little lighter, and he agreed far too eagerly. The smile that Sam shot him as they exchanged numbers left him weak at the knees.
Yet here he was, alone, wondering how he could have let himself get his hopes up. Sam hadn’t replied to his texts.
Dan turned his attention away from his own pity party and focused on the dancing couples near the front of the hall, swaying intimately to an emotional ballad he didn’t recognise. A smile crept on his lips as he watched one of the more senior members of staff occasionally go up to a particularly close couple and tear them apart with a wiggle of a finger. He was undeniably jealous, of course he was. It was always a (hidden) dream of his to be asked to Prom and be swirled around the dancefloor like that, he wanted that movie moment.
Once the ballad ended, and couples began to break away from the dancefloor to head to the refreshment table and such, Dan caught broken snippets of conversation.
“Who did he end up asking?” a short blonde girl asked her date, a redhead with a glittery bow in her hair and towering heels.
“Wish I knew, apparently he kept it all hush hush. You know what he’s like.”
Dan pressed his lips together, he wondered if they were talking about Sam. It would make sense for Sam to be embarrassed of him, he wasn’t exactly something someone would want to shout from the rooftops about.
Then, the doors to the hall swung open and in walked a tall black-haired boy. He had an attractive side-profile, Dan decided.
“Wait, Phil Lester’s here alone? I thought he said he had a date?” the blonde girl asked, a hint of surprise in her tone.
“Who knows” the redhead replied, and wrapped an arm around the blonde’s waist. “But come on, let’s go dance. You love this song.”
Dan watched them go, back to the dancefloor, and he smiled to himself as he watched them dance, they were adorable.
But a few seconds later, he found himself searching for the boy known apparently as Phil Lester. He knew the name, from what Dan had gathered Phil was one of the popular kids in school, not so dissimilar to Sam, but was without the negative reputation. He was often the subject of a discussion in class, which Dan never took part in due to having no friends and no opinion, being the new kid, and it suddenly made sense why. Through the spinning fluorescent lights, which every so often flicked over Phil’s face, Dan could see that he was gorgeous. The kind of gorgeous that made him momentarily pine.
He wondered how the hell Phil Lester could be alone at Prom. If the girls had overheard that he had a date, he wondered what had happened. His date was probably just in the bathroom or something and Phil was waiting for them. Dan was already jealous of whoever Phil’s date was. A part of his (hidden) dream was slow-dancing with an incredibly cute boy. At least semi-daydreaming about Phil was taking away his embarrassment of being stood up by Sam.
Dan tore his gaze away from Phil – eventually – and took to thinking of how exactly he’d explain to his mum what had happened when she inevitably questioned him. She was ecstatic when he told her that Sam asked him to Prom a couple of weeks prior, and she spent an obscene amount of money on Dan’s suit and other Prom preparations, making the night as perfect for him as she could, she knew he’d been having trouble fully settling in at the new school. She had hugged him tightly a few hours before he left, insisting that everything happens for a reason and demanding that he send her pictures throughout the night of how everything was going.
He didn’t think she’d appreciate a selfie with his nearly tear-stained cheeks as he sat alone in the back of the hall moping.
When he looked again, Phil was gone.
Phil Lester’s date would definitely be attractive too, he found himself thinking about it again without realising. Attractive people date attractive people, it was fact. Also, if he’d learnt anything from the movies, it was that the bleachers at Prom were always occupied by those without a date, who were all hoping to be asked by someone to dance.
He swallowed back the lump in his throat as he stood up from his seat and made his way slowly over to the bleachers and climbed them, taking a seat on the second one from the top, safely out of reach of any of the spinning lights coming from the dancefloor area. Nothing would highlight his poor attempt at masking his upset and embarrassment. He didn’t have anything to lose, he may as well sit with the other people that related to him.
A perk of being invisible and unknown to everyone was that nobody sent him a questioning look as he sat on the bleachers as they did pretty much every other newcomer.
His focus was once again on the couples, and he watched enviously as they lived his dream, blissfully happy and unaware that he was all but falling apart. He was a hopeless romantic, he thrived on situations and scenarios like slow dances at Prom.
A thought was spared to where Phil had gone to. A thought was spared to where Sam was. A tear was almost shed at where Sam was supposed to be. He’d promised.
In the middle of another ballad, whilst Dan had his head in his hands watching the other couples, the doors swung open again, and Phil Lester re-entered the hall and headed straight for the bleachers, sitting on the bottom one.
Immediately, Dan straightened his posture and looked down questioningly, even though Phil wasn’t facing him nor knew who he was, Dan still wanted to know why. Wanted to know how. Of course it was possible (likely) that Phil wasn’t sat there for the same reason Dan was, he was probably just sitting down whilst he waited for someone – likely his date, who Dan was still envious of – but the way that Phil shifted his head as if he was scoping out the room for someone or something, then sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, was highly intriguing.
As the song ended, Dan’s phone pinged, a text message, he’d forgotten to put it on silent. He felt heat rise to his cheeks immediately, a new wave of embarrassment, but thankfully nobody had seemed to notice. Or at least didn’t care enough to send him a glance.
Except for one person.
Phil Lester turned his head and curiously glanced towards where the noise originated from, and smiled warmly at Dan once they made eye contact. Dan felt as if he was melting under Phil’s gaze. He nervously returned the smile, and Phil then turned away. It was quick, didn’t mean all too much, but Dan knew it was going to take him a while to recover.
His palms were clammy, and he held his breath as he unlocked his phone, not bothering to look who texted him on the lock screen, and he hoped in the back of his mind that Sam had bothered to reply.
He hadn’t.
His mother had asked why she hadn’t received any pictures yet, using far too many emojis. Dan gulped as he nervously texted a reply, bullshitting that he’d been too busy slow-dancing with Sam that he’d lost track of time.
The phone was dropped in his lap as he split his gaze partly between glancing at the back of Phil Lester’s head and the couples on the dancefloor.
His phone pinged again. He’d been so caught up in Phil smiling at him and his own mix of emotions he’d forgotten to put it on silent. This time, other students near him cast him annoyed glances and he was sure he saw a few eye rolls, but nobody said a word.
But yet again, Phil turned and smiled at him, and Dan was sure he felt a thump in his chest when he saw Phil laugh.
He wanted to rub his eyes in disbelief as Phil gestured for him to come to the bottom and join him.
Dan wasn’t sure he was breathing nor conscious as he carefully made his way down the bleachers and nervously took place beside Phil. He wasn’t sure where he’d gotten the confidence. Shy Dan Howell didn’t have interactions with cute boys.
“You’re popular, aren’t you?” Phil joked as Dan sat beside him, and Dan could already feel his heart pounding.
“It’s just my mum,” he replied all too quickly, “She wanted me to send her pictures throughout the night… it sounds stupid now I say it out loud” he gushed, he wasn’t entirely sure he was speaking English. In his head he was, at least.
“Nah, it’s cute. It’s nice that she cares” Phil shrugged and stretched out his legs.
Dan noticed some of the students around them eyeing them both curiously, and he felt the need to run and hide in a corner, he hated being the centre of any attention. But he had a feeling he’d enjoy speaking to Phil more.
“I guess so?” he was trying his best to keep the conversation going. He’d said some questionable stuff in the past when a conversation had died down.
Phil either didn’t seem to notice or was too considerate to leave Dan hanging.
“Excuse me for potentially being ignorant but are you new around here?”
Dan diverted his gaze to the floor.
“Yeah I just started a month ago. Is it that obvious?” he chuckled bitterly.
“Not at all! I just hadn’t seen you around before, we can’t have any classes together or anything,” Phil was quick to justify his question, “But, if you like, I can show you around next week? Help you get more to grips with things?”
It was more than Sam offered.
“I mean, if you don’t mind hanging around with the new kid, I know it can be damaging to a reputation.”
Phil laughed. “Ah, a fellow enjoyer of American highschool movies!” he clapped his hands together, “We’ll already have things to talk about! In all honesty, I’d show you around a bit now, but truth be told I’m kind of waiting for someone.”
Dan pressed his lips together and pressed his fingertips into his palm. “Me too” he said through gritted teeth. At least some sadness had evolved into anger.
“Oh, that’s cool! I won’t pry, I know some people are private about their dates and stuff,” Phil smiled, “But did they get you a corsage type thing?”
Sam had given him one at the lab, it was one of the prettiest things Dan had ever seen. Though it was an American thing, Sam had explained that the school had simply always done it, it was tradition.
Looking back, Dan wished he’d have questioned why Sam already had the corsage with him.
It was currently crushed in his suit pocket, along with his wishes for the evening. The pale blue flower arrangement should be pride of place on his wrist, he didn’t care about looking ‘masculine’ or whatever, he wanted to proudly (yet silently) boast that he was there with a cute guy.
“Yeah he did…” Dan trailed off and looked back down to the floor, squeezing his eyes shut.
He missed the way Phil’s head shot up when Dan said the word ‘he’.
“Mine did too” Phil said, and Dan looked back over to see an identical corsage to his own, which Phil was now putting onto his wrist. “He asked me pretty much as soon as Prom tickets went onsale. It’s weird that he’s not here yet, to be honest.”
Dan felt crushed. He was sure he felt all the air leave his lungs. Of course, as he’d already remembered, attractive people only date attractive people. It made perfect sense. What didn’t make perfect sense was why Sam would stand someone as gorgeous and genuinely kindhearted as Phil up. It was likely that Dan was wrong, that Phil’s date was someone else, but the coincidences were too compelling.
“He’s missing out” Dan heard himself say, and his eyes widened when he realised. He often had a problem with voicing his thoughts.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phil break into a wide grin.
“I’ll tell you what,” he gently patted Dan’s knee, “If both our dates are complete assholes and don’t turn up, we’ll have the last dance together. Deal?”
He held out his hand, and Dan all too quickly shook it. Such confidence was unlike him, but he liked it.
As if on cue, in true cheesy highschool movie fashion, the doors swung open at that very moment.
Dan felt his heart begin to race as Sam entered the hall, looking the best Dan had ever seen him. His heart sank when he saw that Sam was tightly holding hands with a tall brunette girl in a flowing baby pink Cinderella style dress. Her lips were perfectly painted in coral as she smiled at Sam the way that Dan did that day in the lab. On her wrist was a corsage identical to Dan and Phil’s.
He heard Phil gasp from beside him, and his heart felt as if it was in his throat as Sam and the girl walked by them, Sam smirking at them both as he passed. He took both Dan and Phil’s gazes with him.
“That piece of fucking-“ Phil cut himself off and stood up from the bleachers, and stormed out of the hall.
Dan stayed a few seconds longer, composing himself. But when Sam and his date took centre stage on the dancefloor, her arms wrapped his neck and his around her waist just as Dan had dreamed his own Prom to go, it all became a little too much, and he made his way out of the hall with his hand over his mouth.
He didn’t know where he was going, the school somehow looked different after dark, never mind when Dan’s vision was blurred from his tears. He had no idea where Phil had stormed off to, either, no doubt the rest of their year group was already speculating. Phil wasn’t exactly under the radar, it seemed as if his every move was monitored by everyone.
After what seemed what eighteen turns and twenty-four different corridors, he stumbled across a bathroom. A bathroom which would have paper he could wipe away his tears with. A saving grace. As he made his way to it, he retrieved his phone and unlocked it, ready to dial his mum to beg her to pick him up early (he didn’t exactly arrive with any friends so his parents were his chauffeurs).
As he walked through the door, his phone nearly went tumbling to the floor.
Phil was bent over the sinks, breathing heavily. Piles of crumpled up tissue laid in the sink, and now there were overhead lights rather than sporadic fluorescent spinning ones, he could see how red and raw Phil’s eyes were.
“I’m sorry for storming and leaving you in there” it broke Dan’s heart a little to hear how small and defeated Phil sounded, “I just… lost it a little.”
Dan reached into his pocket and brought out the corsage, and played with one of the artificial petals in his fingers.
“My name’s Dan Howell and I got screwed over too.”
Phil turned to face him, and his gaze dropped to the corsage in Dan’s hands then back to his face.
With no warning he stepped forward and pulled Dan into a tight hug. Dan dropped the corsage to the floor and hugged him back. What use did it have anymore, anyway?
“I’m so sorry” Phil said, his voice muffled due to his face being pressed into Dan’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry too.”
“He’s not getting away with this” Phil stated as they pulled apart, his hands balled into fists.
When Dan didn’t reply, Phil smiled and headed out of the bathroom, a clear invitation for Dan to follow. He picked his discarded corsage up from the floor for a reason he didn’t entirely understand and followed.
“What are you going to do?” Dan asked timidly as he caught up to Phil in the hallway.
“Leave it to me,” Phil said, his voice calm and unwavering, “I know people.”
Dan didn’t say anything more, he left Phil’s potentially ominous words hanging in the air as he followed Phil back to the hall. If he wasn’t sure already from the reputation Phil had with the people in Dan’s classes, it was obvious that Phil Lester wasn’t someone to be messed with. Especially given the fact that minutes before Dan walked in on him in tears, the transformation to how he was now in such a short amount of time was astounding.
It unnerved Dan at how many people were staring at them once they re-entered the hall. He stayed close behind Phil, and tried his best to ignore the murmurs and mumbled conversations that were obviously about them as he passed.
Phil paused in front of the refreshment table and turned to face him.
“Wait here, have a drink or something” Phil turned to pour a drink into one of the standard red cups and held it out to Dan. “But be careful. It has a, let’s say, certain kick to it.”
“How did someone manage to spike it? There are teachers everywhere” Dan nodded to where a teacher was stood close by the table to prove his point.
Phil shrugged. “I have friends who know what they’re doing.”
Dan laughed, and took a sip. The addition of alcohol was a drastic improvement to the bland fruit juice.
“But I’ll be back soon. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”
Dan nodded, and they shared a smile before Phil left, immediately getting swallowed up in the gathering crowd on the dancefloor. It seemed as if everyone wanted a piece of him.
Over the rim of his cup as he took another sip, Dan could see that some students’ gazes were still fixed on him, though he tried his best to shake off the insecurities that came with such an observation. He couldn’t help but keep an eye out for Sam, as well as trying to see where Phil went, but he couldn’t see any of them.
A few minutes later, a figure strode in beside him, and the first thing he saw was their phone screen on full brightness, displaying the message app, a group chat with over thirty people displayed. He had a gut feeling he was meant to notice it.
“Excuse me for being rude, but can I ask a question?” a chirpy female voice asked. Dark purple hair cascaded down her shoulders in effortless curls, a silk bomber jacket was layered over a puffy purple glittery dress. She was modelesque, and Dan wondered if it was some kind of unwritten rule you had to be attractive to be accepted into the school.
Dan could only nod, the fear of what her question could potentially be was overwhelming.
“Are you and Phil Lester dating?” she asked bluntly, and angled her thumb over her phone keypad.
“We only just met…”
The girl tightened her grip around her phone.
“Are you sure? He seemed awfully comfortable talking to you just now. He’s usually quite reserved.”
“I’m positive.”
She locked her phone and slipped it into her jacket pocket. She sighed heavily, which Dan tried to ignore.
“Thank you for your time anyway” she bid her farewell and left, heading straight for a group of girls who immediately crowded around her. It seemed as if people loved to gossip about Phil.
He was then more aware than ever that people continued to stare at him. So he took out his phone and dialled his mum, and slipped out of the hall, he hoped unnoticed.
Carefully dodging every mention of Sam, he made an excuse as to why she had received no pictures yet. Thankfully she didn’t question him, though he had to promise to tell her everything when he got home.
When they hung up, he made no effort to go back inside. He remained leaning against the wall, staring up at the ceiling, wondering just how many different emotions he’d gone through in one night.
“Well if it isn’t mister runaway” a voice interrupted his thoughts, and Dan didn’t move his gaze from the ceiling as Phil leaned on the wall beside him.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Phil laughed softly, “People were all too willing to let me know where you’d gone to.”
“Does that happen a lot? People fawning over you?”
Phil laughed again. “Not so much fawning as it is gossiping. It’s kind of complimentary really!”
Dan turned to face him. “We’re polar opposites…”
“You pretty much signed up for it too the second we spoke for the first time, so I apologise. People like to gossip, for some reason about me.”
“But why?”
Phil smiled. “A story for another day, Dan.”
Dan nodded and didn’t ask anything more. He understood how Phil felt.
They stayed in silence then, only interrupted by two girls leaving the hall, and not even hiding the fact that they came out to follow Phil. Their stares made Dan squirm uncomfortably.
“Abbie, Tillie. Good to see you” Phil greeted them with a nod, and the girls both waved. Dan watched as they both retrieved their phones and began typing at the speed of light.
“Do you want to leave?” Phil whispered, well out of earshot of the girls, who were far too distracted by their phones anyway.
Dan nodded, and Phil propped himself off of the wall and politely excused himself from the girls, who simply lifted a hand in a dismissive gesture.
Dan followed behind him, back into the hall.
They stopped in the doorway.
The headmaster was onstage again, and the students on the dancefloor were in a huge gaggle.
“This is the last dance,” he announced, “come on down and join in the fun, we have a special song for this one!”
The music started and the students all rejoiced, then split into their couples for the last time.
“So it’s the last dance” Phil said, and Dan felt a flutter in his stomach.
“Seems that way” he replied.
“Remember our deal?”
“You were serious about that?”
Phil tilted his head to the side and looked at Dan as if he was crazy. “We shook on it, of course I was serious about it. Why, weren’t you?”
“No that’s not what I meant!” Dan felt as if he was babbling. He probably was, he knew he looked flustered.
“So… you do want to dance?” Phil asked, clearly amused.
To save himself any embarrassment, Dan nodded.
Phil held out his hand. “Then what are we waiting for?”
Dan felt all the colour rush to his face, he was sure that he’d been knocked out at some point and he was hallucinating what was happening. Or maybe he was fast asleep at home and his mum did pick him up early.
But he found himself taking Phil’s hand anyway.
“It’s all ready if you are!” a blond boy exclaimed as he ran towards them, and Dan instinctively moved behind Phil.
Phil turned to look at Dan and smiled reassuringly, then turned to the boy who had approached them.
“It’s okay Casp, abandon ship.”
The boy’s face fell into disappointment.
“But… he deserves it…”
Phil shrugged. “He does, and he’ll get his comeuppance at some point but… plans change.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“Deadly. Go catch up with the others and tell them it’s off. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a last dance to attend.”
It was then that the boy noticed Dan, and looked from him to Phil.
“Ah. Loud and clear. You two have fun!” he said chirpily.
They continued on, though the boy ran back and placed his hand on Phil’s shoulder.
“Just so you’re aware, Sam’s there.”
Dan felt Phil tense for a moment or two, then relax.
“Perfect.” Phil replied, his voice calm and a smile on his lips.
The boy then held up his hands and made his way out of the hall, Dan presumed to meet up with his friends, and Phil led the two of them to the middle of the dancefloor.
Sam and his date were right next to them.
Dan was surprised at how little he cared, though. His mind was elsewhere, on Phil entirely. The fact that Phil’s arms were around his waist and how he almost rested his head on Phil’s chest.
He met Phil’s gaze and felt a sudden bout of confidence rush through him.
“Feel free to, like, slap me or something if this is too awkward, or inappropriate, or-“
“Dan, you’re babbling” Phil interrupted with a quiet laugh, gaining the attention of a few dancing couples close to them. Including Sam. It only made Dan more sure of what he was about to say.
He took a deep breath. “I’d really like to kiss you right now.”
Phil’s eyes widened slightly, Dan assumed because he’d been so outright.
“People are staring…” Phil whispered, and Dan swallowed thickly. Just being close to Phil meant people would be staring, he may as well adjust to it.
“I don’t care.”
“Then I’d very much like that too.”
Dan had only been kissed once before. It was during a game of truth or dare at his old school, and a pretty girl from his class had been dared to kiss the shy kid who never said much. It lasted a couple of seconds, and Dan was sure he did it wrong. He wondered if he’d ever learn. If he’d ever have the chance to learn.
Phil’s lips were soft, and Dan instantly regretted letting his lips get to the state they were in, it’s not as if he didn’t own any lip balm.
“I’m sorry that my lips are kind of disgusting” Dan said once they pulled apart, though their faces remained close.
“I could get used to it” Phil grinned, and leaned in to press a quick kiss to his lips again. “Though tell me when your birthday is so I can plan a very secret, definitely not chapstick related present.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “How charming!”
“So I’ve been told” Phil shrugged.
Dan’s phone pinged.
His cheeks flushed with embarrassment and a sigh slipped from his lips.
Phil laughed, and dropped his arms from Dan’s waist, and took his hand again.
“We’d best go send a picture to your mum, yeah?”
“If we do that she’ll insist you come around for dinner, then probably invite you to a million more events that she’ll be sad if you cancel on. It’s pretty much a sealed deal…”
Phil took Dan’s phone and flicked onto the camera app, the action speaking on his behalf.
“It’s so cute!” Phil commented once the selfie had been taken, and Dan agreed. It was. “Send it to me too!”
Dan couldn’t stop smiling, he felt almost giddy.
Once Phil had the picture and they’d exchanged numbers, Dan took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure what for, his mind was still trying to comprehend what had happened over the past few hours.
“Can I walk you home?” Phil asked, brushing Dan’s fringe out of his eyes. His skin tingled where Phil had touched it.
“But what about you? I’d feel bad if you had to walk home alone.”
“I’ll get Zoe to pick me up, it’s no biggie.”
Dan pressed his lips together, clearly hesitant.
“It’ll be fine, Dan. I promise.”
“Are you sure you want people to see you with me? I mean if you want it can just be a one night thing, I’d understand.”
Phil rolled his eyes, and took Dan’s hand. It spoke a thousand words. It was only dancing together at Prom, it wasn’t as if it was a one night stand.
“Let’s get you home, it’s getting late” was all he said.
Dan cast one last look over his shoulder as the song drew to a close and people were beginning to disband from the dancefloor, and caught sight of Sam and his date. She seemed furious at something, and stormed off, leaving him alone in the middle of the floor. He looked uncomfortable, embarrassed even. Various students appeared to be filming the whole thing or at least documenting it.
He felt a tug on his hand, and turned back to face Phil.
“Everything okay?” he asked, and Dan let out a laugh. Everything was more than okay now. He dared to think they’d never been better.
Instead he settled for a smile and began walking out of the hall, leaving whatever embarrassment and self-deprecation he’d arrived with thoroughly behind him.
As they walked, Phil was cracking lame jokes the entire time, and Dan felt like he had his guard down for the first time in years, it felt liberating.
When Phil kissed him at the front gate, he felt light-headed, in the best way possible. Phil asked him out for lunch the next day, and he agreed instantly. It sent a thrill of excitement through him when he caused Phil to smile widely, Phil had a beautiful smile.
His phone pinged once Phil had walked away, and Dan laughed to himself, trust his mum to be texting right up until the last minute.
But when the screen lit up and he read ‘It’s a date! x’, he felt himself swooning all over again.