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“Did Todomatsu... really say that?”
Choromatsu looks down at his own hands, resting idly on his lap and twitching just lightly. In front of him, Jyushimatsu gives no response but his smile is unmovable although the sentences coming right out of it have been harsh and hurtful. Even if Jyushimatsu said those aren't his own words, Choromatsu can't understand how his younger brother is capable to speak in that manner and still maintain that grin as if he's subtly agreeing to the list of flaws laid out to him.
Unpredictable as Jyushimatsu is, Choromatsu can't make sense of what the man in front of him thinks when he does anything at all. Then again, he has shown his petty side more than once, especially when he sent Choromatsu to get kerosene under what the third born suspects was the result of himself calling Jyushimatsu stupid during his telepathic chat with the others. Lying and shifting the blame on another brother to keep himself clean... is something Jyushimatsu, as a Matsuno and therefore someone at the very bottom cast of society, might pull out after all.
He should be angry and yell at his younger brother, pointing an accusing finger at him, telling him he's not any better than himself, but he can't bring himself to. There's some underlying truth even he cannot deny, as demonstrated from the fact that, despite his alleged determination to become a better person, he's still stuck in this house with his five same-faced brothers sucking money out of his parents to survive, spending whatever he has on idol merch and Nyaa-chan's concerts.
The stability in life he craves for, he already has it, doesn't he? Surrounded by things he likes, no reason to move out or look for a job when he has food, money, and a house at his disposal. He may have some common sense, but in the end he keeps getting dragged along by his brothers and whatever stupid stuff they caused. And even when he's one step forward into finally becoming someone, he gets easily dragged back in full force. He's no better than the rest of them... he has no defense to the barrage of insults Jyushimatsu has just shot at him with an accurate aim.
“In the end, are you just words?”
Choromatsu is, doubtlessly, only words and no facts.
He's not sure whether the tears crawling down his cheeks are because of the cruel wording or the new confirmation that he's doing nothing to change his life for the better. Hands ball into fists on his lap, trembling under the pressure. He looks down, not daring to make any longer eye contact with Jyushimatsu because now he only sees judgement behind that smile and he has no idea how to counter that, how to promise he'll do better as a brother and a man. He must look so pathetic in the eyes of his younger sibling. His legs won't move an inch even if all he wants now is run to the bathroom and cry his sorrows on the toilet.
Cottoned sleeves suddenly cover his fists, startling him. Without being noticed, Jyushimatsu has shortened the distance between their spots and his face is now inches from Choromatsu's. His warm breath tingles the older man's cheeks, oddly comforting.
“But, Choromatsu-niisan,” he says while nuzzling a cheek tenderly. “That doesn't make you a bad person! You still work harder than the rest of us... but you have limits, too! You can still work on them! It's okay, niisan. Being a NEET sucks and that makes us lower than low, but I know that if there's someone who will be able to become independent first, someday, it will be you! It already happened once, right? You've got the power, but you still don't use it properly! I mean, you have yet to properly send a letter without setting it on fire!”
He chuckles and presses a kiss on Choromatsu's cheek which sets his chest ablaze with new, intense sensations.
“Sorry if I was too harsh, niisan, but I said all of that because I care about you!”
Jyushimatsu takes those hands in his sleeves and squeezes them gently.
“So it wasn't Todomatsu,” Choromatsu says with a sob, to which Jyushimatsu hums and kisses his cheek again. “You're awful, you know,” he adds and leans into the hug Jyushimatsu gives him next, a sense of protection overcoming him while he inhales the earthy scent of his brother's hoodie.
“I know.” The fifth born kisses his forehead this time, holding him close. “Sorry.”
But he's right, and Choromatsu feels his leftover resentment subside. In a way, he really needed to hear it; that he was too arrogant, that his Rising self-awareness is dangerous to him, and that many of those things he says he can do he actually can't. Thinking back, he looked nothing short of stupid sitting at a cafè while using a laptop made of cardboard. Reading through Jyushimatsu's harsh criticism makes him realize it even better.
“Thank you,” he mutters in the end. It stings that he's thanking someone for insulting him, but even if he knows almost nothing about Jyushimatsu, he understands that his brother meant well.
“Mhm!” With a happy nod, Jyushimatsu sets himself on Choromatsu lap and starts giving him a long series of licks that one would call puppy kisses if they were that tolerable. Choromatsu groans in displeasure, but he doesn't push his little brother away and instead returns the hug while trying to hide his face into the crook of the other's neck, which is not that effective since Jyushimatsu proceeds to lick his hair next, and that's pretty gross. But he still won't stop it.
“I love you, Choromatsu-niisan!” he hears his younger sibling chirp out loud.
His cheeks become redder, but all he can manage is an undecipherable response before succumbing to more of those puppy kisses.