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Winston stopped marking the passage of time in hours, day or weeks. Instead, he counted how many jars of peanut butter lay strewn across his desk, and how many white boards he'd filled with calculations. Presently, those numbers stood at fourteen and six. Soon, he'd have to start raiding other offices to keep up with the workload.
“You are working yourself toward an eventual sugar crash,” a voice called out from the computer speakers.
“I'll deal with that later, Athena.” Winston mumbled, chewing on the cap of the erasable marker in his hand. “I don't imagine anyone's come up with any major breakthroughs in the unified theory in the last few days, have they?”
“There are currently no new academic papers to that effect,” Athena replied. “There is a man in Wisconsin with some new ideas, but in my opinion they rely too heavily upon Doctor Who and the Terminator franchise.”
“Which ones?”
“Genisys.”
“Ugh.” He scribbled a few more calculations, though perhaps Athena had a point. The details of quantum chemistry had grown fuzzy, and he noticed with embarrassment that he'd assumed a superfluid in the current design behaved as a Bose-Einstein condensation, which of course was foolish. He erased the details with his forearm and grumbled. Literally back to the drawing board--
“Winston,” Athena interrupted. “You asked to be informed when Ms. Oxton reappeared--”
She didn't even finish, as Winston dropped the marker and bounded out the door, and down to the main lab floor.
-===-
The gorilla rested his hand on one fist, a brow arched high. “Really.”
“Cross my heart, love. Saw him pull it out of the stone and everything.”
“And they couldn't see you?”
“Think they were all a little distracted, what with the whole next King of England being chosen. Funny way to pick a king that, don't you think?”
“Lena, you know the whole King Arthur story was a myth, right?” Winston smirked. “And if he really existed, he wouldn't have been anything like the old stories.”
“Okay, fine, you got me. It was just a field again, nothing really happened.” She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Y'know, a real friend would nod and smile.”
“I know, it's just... I keep hoping if I know when you're going, it would help me figure out a solution.”
“You don't want to hear it big guy, but maybe there's just... not a solution?”
“It's funny,” Winston said, ambling over closer to the containment field. “I seem to remember a member of Overwatch who believed in taking in a refugee from the moon and protected him from other people who claimed he was just a company asset. Someone who believed in his value, no matter what anyone else said.” He pushed his glasses back up and smiled. “You never gave up on me, Lena. I won't give up on you either.”
“Awww, you big lug. You're gonna make me cry.” She giggled, but then stood up and looked at a small table the others set up for her, where a simple picture frame sat. She remembered the day they took the photo, their first day in any of the six parks. The silver, geodesic sphere behind them glowed in the Florida sun, but paled in comparison to the smile on the red haired woman's face. She'd dreamed of that vacation most of her life, and Lena hadn't told her until the day they boarded a plane for the United States. The trip had been almost perfect, save for the hurricane scare at the end. They'd not had a chance to see the Magic Kingdom itself, and to see the reveal of the majestic castle at its center. She promised to take them back one day....
She could close her eyes and see that smile, smell that perfume she always teased her about but secretly loved. If she tried, she could even remember the softness of her fingertips pressing against hers and the warmth of her embrace on a cold winter's day.
“You still don't want us to contact her?”
She reached for the frame, but her fingers passed through it. With a sigh, she reached into the pocket of her flight jacket, and her fingers closed across a small box, one of the few things she could still touch.
“She's better off not knowing about this, Winston. I'd rather she move on with her life, rather than keep holding out for a cure that might not happen.”
-===-
“It's safe?”
“Well, there's not really any guarantees, that's why they call the job test pilot, silly. But you know I've done a bunch of these already, right?”
“That,” Emily said, a crooked smile on her face, “Is a glorious attempt at sugar coating things.”
“I happen to know that someone likes their coffee with sugar and cream, so I tell her things the same way.”
Emily gave Lena's shoulder a playful shove. “You're terrible.”
“Guilty, but what does that say for you, then?”
“That I'm more attracted to your looks that your moral character?”
“How salacious!” Lena smirked, but then took hold of Emily's hands. “You know you're technically not supposed to know this, but if this works then we're going to save the lives of hundreds of pilots. And not just fighter pilots! Imagine if you put that in a commercial plane. They start to have engine trouble, they can just teleport it back to an airport for a safe landing.”
“Well then, Ms. Oxton,” Emily said, and squeezed her hands gently, “I shouldn't keep you from your mission to save the world.”
“Someone has to, right?” Lena reluctantly let go of her hands.“Oh, by the way? You might want to get dressed up while I'm off doing this. Someone might have scored reservations at Alain Ducasse at the Dorchester.”
Emily's eyes grew large. “You must really be expecting this test flight to go well.”
“Just a hunch, love.”
“I'll be ready,” she said, and let out a soft laugh. “I'm glad you told me, though. Usually you love springing things like that as a surprise.”
“Oh, maybe I'm turning over a new leaf.” Lena said, and pushed one hand into her pocket, and let her hand close around a small box inside. Silly Emily, to think she didn't have another surprise up her sleeve.
Emily had almost finished getting ready when Jack Morrison called with the news that the Slipstream vanished without a trace. And as the light swallowed the plane and its pilot, Lena Oxton's fingers closed around that same box as she apologized to Emily for missing their date.
-===-
“It's Higgs,” Winston announced. “Or more precisely, the Higgs Field. Whatever happens to Tracer during the accident, it prevents the bosons in her body from interacting with the Higgs Field. It's amazing, actually, because we had no idea that mass affected how we interact with time, and that does lead to some interesting implications for future research--”
“Winston? Focus.”
“Ahem, right. Sorry. We know how it happens, now we just have to figure out how to fix it.”
Angela Ziegler pressed a finger to her lips as she looked over the notes. Winston had done his best to simplify things, but the baffling world of quantum mechanics still provided a powerful obstacle. Lena Oxton's condition stood at a complex intersection of advanced biology and theoretical physics, and thus far attempts to combine the two fields proved fruitless.
To say nothing of the more practical concerns, which McCree once less than eloquently summed up as the pair discussed it with him in the room.
“Hard to give a shot to a ghost, ain't it?”
Dr. Ziegler still wasn't even sure how Lena had survived, since she'd not eaten anything in months. Perhaps the phenomenon that unmoored her from time halted the biological processes of her body. It made little sense, but to be fair nothing about this situation made any sense at all. She'd run a variety of simulations, but none of them came close to duplicating Lena's results.
And just like a shot, it wasn't as though she could take a sample of Lena's blood to study, either.
“If we could just bring her back in sync with our world, even for a moment...” she said aloud.
“I've tried a few different things,” Winston admitted. “But we never even know how long of an experimental window we have. She's vanished in mid conversation more often that not.” He jotted another formula on the board, stared at it a moment then marked it out hastily, growling.
“We have to be patient, Winston. If we give it enough time--”
With a roar, Winston punched the white board, sending it flying across the room. His skin started to turn red, electricity flaring around his eyes. “You know the numbers as well as I do! It's not predictable, but the mean amount of time she spends in our world is decreasing. If we don't hurry, she'll... she'll...”
Dr. Ziegler put an arm on his shoulder. “I know, Winston. And I know what she means to you. But your anger won't help her. Just... please calm down. We can't do this without you.”
Winston slowed his breathing, and slowly his skin started to return to normal. “I... I'm sorry. But we can't... I can't lose her.”
“I know. That's why you need to control yourself.”
The gorilla walked over to the white board and picked it up again. “I only wish Lena could control this, like the others can control their abilities.”
“Have you asked her to try?”
“Of course, but it doesn't work, at least not consistently. She's been able to phase in enough to move things just a little, but it never lasts.” Winston sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if McCree's right, and we shouldn't just call in a ghost researcher.”
“I don't know what's scarier, that you're considering ghost researchers legitimate scientists, or the fact the words 'McCree's right' just came out of your mouth.”
“It's not like we're having any better luck with our science.” Winston stared at the board again. “Of course, they'd say she was haunting this facility, or was even some kind of haunted thing.”
“There are haunted things?”
“Oh, all kinds of haunted items. Usually really old, and associated with some kind of tragedy in the past. Usually it's stuff like paintings or dresses. Oh, and dolls. Lots and lots of dolls.”
Dr. Ziegler said nothing, and Winston finally looked up to see the incredulous look she was giving him.
“Look, it gets really boring some nights here, and they play a lot of those shows at night,” he said. “But it's not like Lena's haunting us. She's very much alive, and it's not like she...”
Winston stopped speaking, the marker leaving a long streak on the white board. “That's it.”
Dr. Ziegler waited a moment to respond. “You need sleep, doctor's orders.”
“No no, I don't mean we call in the ghost people. But maybe that's what we've been missing.”
“What's that?”
“We've been focusing on curing Lena, and maybe she's right. Maybe that can't be done.” Winston wiped away the calculations and, instead of writing more, he started to sketch out a design. “But what if we didn't have to? What if, like a haunted object, there was something that kept Lena here? Like... a device that served as an anchor, pulling the Higgs field back toward her?”
“Then we could try to figure out a permanent cure.”
“There's just one problem,” he said. “I might be able to extend the field once it activated, but... she'd need to be wearing it first.”
“Which would require a greater control over her state than she currently possesses. I don't imagine you have any ideas on how to help her do that?”
Winston stared at the sketch and tapped the marker against the board. He turned to the side, lost in thought. As fate would have it, he found himself looking at a picture he and Lena had taken together, one that always stood next to his work station. Slowly, a smile passed over his face.
“You know why all those silly shows about ghosts said that some people stayed behind to haunt things?”
“I can't believe we're having this conversation, but why?”
“Because they had a reason to stay.”
It took her a moment, but once Dr. Ziegler understood, she smiled as well. They had a second, more important anchor after all.
-===-
When she was eight years old, Lena broke her left leg and right foot leaping from the top of a playground slide pretending she was a super hero. It happened only a day after the end of her summer term, and she spent her entire summer holiday between her bed and the sofa in the living room while she could hear the laughter and excitement from her friends outside. She longed to escape the house and rejoin them, but her parents said in no uncertain terms that super hero games would be off limits when she did.
Well, they said no playing but they never said no dreaming. Armed with notebook, pencil and pen she started to document her adventures as a super hero that could do a whole lot more than jump off playground equipment. In her version of things, Lena could copy the powers of other heroes by touching them. Really, it just gave her an excuse to use whatever power struck her fancy in the moment. She never gave the hero a name, until a friend visited and saw a drawing she copied from one of the books.
“That's not really yours,” they teased. “You just traced it.”
“What's wrong with being a tracer?”
The name stuck, and Tracer even became her call sign as a test pilot.
Those memories came back to Lena often since the accident, since both times she found herself unable to do much. Sometimes she'd reappear in the dead of night and beg Athena not to wake anyone, since she might vanish. She rarely found herself anywhere interesting during her time jumps, and never stayed there long enough to even see much, let alone start a decent conversation. Maybe she didn't have a notebook to record it all, but she could still dream.
Of course, a lot of her dreams dealt with food. Instead of rushing into a burning building to save the day, Lena imagined dropping off by the pub for a quick drink or a favorite spot for a bite to eat. Today, she went back to an old favorite. She used to stop by her favorite chippy at least once a week, where they always fried the fish while you waited. Little spots of oil singed your fingertips even through the paper. Then we went to the condiment stand, where she added the right amount of malt vinegar... or as her friends put it, “nearly drowned everything in it”. The aroma of the beer batter mingled with the tang of the vinegar.. it made Lena's mouth water just thinking about it.
She'd been just about to bite into the imaginary plank of fish when footsteps echoed from behind her. With a soft sigh, she stood up. “Can't a girl have just a few minutes to dream before you start running more tests?”
“...Lena?”
She froze.
“Lena, is that really you?”
Her fists balled up, and she drew in a halting breath. For the first time since the accident she felt afraid, and it kept her from turning around or even looking over her shoulder. The uncertain future, the increasing doubts of Winston and Dr. Ziegler, even the days when hope all but faded away, she could handle that. But seeing a look of pain on her face, knowing something she'd done brought tears to that beautiful face...
“You can hear me, can't you?”
It still took her a minute to find her voice. “You're still wearing that awful perfume, aren't you?”
“The one you gave me a bottle of for Christmas last year? Of course.”
“Only because you like the stuff, and I was daft enough to support you.” The silence hung between them a moment. “I didn't want you to see me like this, Em.”
“Your doctor explained it to me,” Emily said. “I don't understand it completely, but... I'm here now.”
“Truth is, I really hoped you'd get on with your life. Forget about me, move forward, maybe even start dating again and find someone a bit more normal. I can handle this burden, but I... I wanted you to be happy.”
“Happy.” Emily's voice drew closer. “I thought I knew what that meant, but then I met you. Hearing you giggle at my silly jokes, or make fun of how my hair looked in the morning, or hugging me after a long day at the office. Lena, it's hard to move on with my life when you are my life.”
“Em...” She still couldn't bring herself to turn around.
“You remember how you always made me a cake from scratch for my birthday, and insisted on putting the candles on it? I hadn't done that since I was a little girl, but you always made me blow out the candles and make a wish before I could eat it? That's what you brought me. You made me realize how special, how magical life really is. I did it again this year, and I made a wish again. You know what I wished for?”
“You know if you tell me--”
“I know, but I'll give you a hint,” Emily said, her voice starting to waver. “You just need to turn around.”
Dammit. Lena looked to the ground and closed her eyes, then slowly turned to face her. With a deep breath to steel herself, she opened her eyes once more. To her surprise, Emily wore a beautiful emerald green dress, her red hair cascading around her shoulders. And while her cheeks shone with tears, there wasn't a hint of pain on her face. Instead, she rewarded Lena with that perfect smile, the one she dreamed about seeing so often.
“See? You just made it come true.”
“You look amazing.”
“You think so?” A flush of red splashed across her cheeks. “It's... what I was going to wear that night.”
“And suddenly, I'm even more upset about the accident.” She giggled, and even drew a small chuckle from Emily as well. “I've missed you.”
“It's really quiet without you around. Believe it or not, I'm starting to hate it.”
“You might regret saying that some day.”
“If I'm lucky.” Emily reached a hand out.
“You can't actually touch me, you know.”
“I know, but someone taught me that it's okay to just dream sometimes.”
Lena lifted her hand. Truth be told, she dreamed of this often as well. She missed the little things, like just walking down the street with their hands locked together. Like the rest of her, her fingers had taken on a blueish glow, translucent enough to just see Emily's fingers through her own. They drew closer together, as she tried to stop just enough to make certain Emily's hand didn't pass through hers, to provide a stark reminder of how desperate her situation truly was. Closer, closer...
They touched.
...they touched.
Emily's fingertips pressed gently against hers, and the glow faded. She trailed her fingers down Emily's, to her palm. Wrapping her hand around hers, she gave it a gentle squeeze.
“I'm back,” Lena whispered. “You brought me back.”
Somehow, Emily's smile grew even more radiant than before. “See? I told you I wasn't going to let go of you so easily.”
With one swift motion, Lena drew close and pulled Emily into a tight hug. Both women started to sob as they held the embrace, Lena's head resting on her shoulder as she cried. After a moment, Lena lifted her head up and whispered into her ear.
“There's something I need to tell you,” she said.
“I'm not going anywhere.”
“This is hard to admit, but...” Lena bit her lip. “It was a box mix. Every year. I'm a lousy cook.”
Emily kissed her cheek. “I think I might be able to forgive you.”
-===-
“We can make adjustments as needed,” Winston said as Lena pulled at one of the straps that held the bulky contraption in place. “After it activates, the field generator will route the bosons in your body to the local portion of the Higgs field. I call it a chronal accelerator because--”
“Winston, love, I know you find all this really amazing,” she said. “But you lost me way back at 'It's simple physics'. Pretty much, I turn on the Matrix of Leadership here and I'm anchored back in the real world full time?”
“Yes, and there might be some interesting applications we can test down the line. More importantly, after it's been activated you won't have to wear it all the time. As long as you're in close proximity to the device and it still has power, you'll remain connected to our time.”
“Good thing, that. Would've made showers and changing clothes really awkward.”
“I did make it waterproof,” Winston said and pushed his glasses up with one finger. “I know how much it rains in London, after all.”
“Well, guess we'll give this thing a shot.”
“You'll probably want Emily in here with you,” Winston said, and glanced back to the lab's control room. “I should--”
“Stay here. You're as much a part of this as anyone.”
“She doesn't know about me yet, Lena. She'll think I'm like the others, and be afraid...”
“And then she'll get to know you, and love you like the rest of us do.”
“Like Reyes?”
“Difference is, Emily's not a raging asshole.”
“Point taken. I just, um, don't want to ruin the moment.”
“Okay, let me put it another way,” Lena said and jabbed a finger into Winston's chest. “If you so much as think about hiding in that control room, I will kick your butt.”
He sighed and took a few steps back. “Fine.” He pressed a button on his wrist comm. “Dr. Ziegler, we're ready to activate the accelerator. If you'd sent Emily in please.”
It took only a minute for Emily to make her way into the lab. She walked over to Lena, but stopped in her tracks when she saw the massive form of Winston standing across from them. She stared, and Winston could only manage a weak wave.
“Uh, hello. I'm Winston.”
Emily finally turned away from him, and to Lena. “Amazing. You weren't lying about the gorilla scientist.”
“Wait, you told her about me?”
“Before the accident even. Oops.”
“You are a walking security risk.”
“Guilty.” Inhaling sharply, she looked down at the chronal accelerator. “So, shall we turn this thing on?”
“If you're ready.”
She grabbed Emily's hands and gently squeezed them, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Now I'm ready.”
“You should take a few steps back, miss,” Winston warned.
Emily nodded and walked beside him. Lena pressed the buttons in the sequence Winston told her, and the center of the accelerator sparked to life with a faint blue glow. Seconds later, she felt a strange wave pulse through her body. At first, everything around her seemed to move it slow motion, then sped up even faster than normal. After a few more seconds, a pulse from the accelerator bathed the room in blue light. Lena looked at the device, then to Emily and Winston. The gorilla moved to a nearby terminal and started hitting buttons.
“Am I supposed to feel any different?”
“I don't know, but all the readouts seem good. Did you experience anything strange when you turned it on.”
“Like the real world acting like I hit rewind and fast forward on a movie?”
Winston grinned. “The blink and recall functions worked at start up! You're going to like those, but we can talk about them later. Now that you're stable, I'm sure Dr. Ziegler will want to run a few tests. You might have to follow her around, since your blood will be just as unstable as the rest of her, but it shouldn't take too long.”
“Fine, but first things first.” She threw her arms open. “Hug time!”
Emily ran over and fell into her arms. Winston turned away to give them privacy.
A second later, he heard Lena clear her throat. “Winston?”
He turned to see both Lena and Emily with their arms stretched out to him.
“Huh?”
“You're the one who brought her back,” Emily said. “So you're a part of this hug too.”
“But I--”
“You're my best friend, you big lug. So get over here before I drag you into it.”
With a smile, he walked over and gently wrapped his arms around the two. It would be the first of many he'd share with his new family.
-===-
She'd booked the trip only a week after the accelerator tests proved successful, though this time she let Emily in on their plans a little sooner.
“I decided maybe Ducasse wasn't really our speed,” she said as she showed Emily the plane tickets to Orlando.
“Not surprising me this time? You're losing your touch, Ms. Oxton.”
Silly Emily, underestimating her like that.
Getting her out of bed that morning proved the most daunting challenge, as Emily hit the snooze button at least five times before Lena finally gave up and pushed her off the side of the bed. A few beignets from the food court bought her forgiveness. Emily didn't even bat an eye as a private town car pulled up in front of their hotel and whisked them away to the park, long before the gates opened to the public.
“Commander Morrison knows some people,” Lena said, and Emily accepted it without question.
Save a few cast members, it was empty as they walked down through the gates and turned the corner. Lena didn't take her eyes off Emily's face as the castle revealed itself in the distance, framed by the shops of Main Street. Lena squeezed her hand softly.
“What do you think?”
“It's amazing!”
“We should get a picture, shouldn't we?” Lena said, and winked to the photographer behind her.
“Oh, of course!”
She never saw it coming, maybe because Lena just hugged her for the first two pictures. The photographer directed them for the next show, getting Emily in just the right position.
“And Ms. Oxton, I think you know your pose.”
She reached into her pocket, for the box she'd held onto since the day of the accident. She pulled it out just as she dropped to one knee and opened it to reveal the ring inside.
“Surprise,” she said with a sheepish grin.
The next picture was Emily answering that question with a kiss.