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Whoever said ‘distance makes the heart grow founder’ was certainly depressed, and possibly gay, too. At least that's what Anthony thinks. He can kind of relate to that. Or something. Not that Anthony ever thought so during the last six years. It's just that being close with Ian again makes his head run through the most ridiculous thoughts.
Every time Ian laughs at one of Anthony's jokes, his heart feels a little warmer. Whenever Anthony flirts a bit both in the studio and out of it and Ian becomes flustered, he feels giddy. Anthony isn't the type to lie to himself, he knows exactly what it means. There's only so many times a person can call their best friend ‘daddy’ as a joke, and Anthony certainly surpassed that many times over.
One of those times, he and Ian were at Ian's place to watch some movies. They were splayed on the sofa, limbs touching without a care, popcorn just out of reach. Anthony was just too comfortable, so he poked Ian with his knee a couple times.
“Pass the popcorn,” he said. When Ian just grunted without moving, he became more insistent.
“Dude, stop it,” Ian grumbled, looking as if he was thinking about pushing Anthony out of the coach.
“Come on, do it for me.” He batted his eyelashes and tilted his head, leaving the expanse of his neck bare. He made sure to drop his voice to barely a murmur before whining. “Please, daddy?”
And Ian, looking flustered and exasperated, did indeed push Anthony out of the coach. Totally worth it, in Anthony's opinion.
So, yes, Anthony is attracted to Ian. No, scratch that, Anthony is in love with Ian and has been since even before they broke up–and that's another thing, friends weren't supposed to have breakups, but what happened all those years ago couldn't be called anything else.
Was Anthony ever going to tell his best friend that he's in love with him? Yes, eventually, when they are old and wrinkly and laughing at the cringe of their youth. No, he wasn't being dramatic, it’s just… they only now mended their friendship after so many years apart, and Ian most definitely wasn't interested in men like that. Not that he thinks Ian would allow Anthony's feelings to become a strain in their newly kindled friendship, but it would be unfair and selfish to put that burden on his friend’s shoulders just to vocalise the bubbly and warm feelings he’s been harbouring for years.
Today was just one of those days when his feelings are at the tip of his tongue. Ian and were are raiding the kitchen while Shayne and Spencer exchanged jokes behind them. And also building a wall out of cans? Weird, but certainly on brand.
So imagine Anthony's surprise when Ian passed him a Reese’s and all that blurted out of his mouth was “Love you, bro,” while sighing like a fool, which he quickly tried to pass as a joke by making kissy faces.
And while Ian just laughed and continued the bit saying “Me likey you, too,” Anthony saw Shayne squinting his eyes at them and Spencer raising his eyebrows. They both look at each other and, thankfully, didn’t say a word about it and let it slide, but regardless Anthony feels like he accidentally exposed his soul and quickly went back to his office after making a quick excuse.
This has been happening more and more often, and Anthony is sure he can't keep going like this. Today it was just their co-workers, tomorrow he could slip in front of the cameras to their whole fanbase. It doesn't help that he actually kinda wants to shout his feelings and bottle them forever at the same time.
‘I’m just a hot mess,’ He realises. And that was that.
Or it would have been, if Anthony still was the same as all those years ago. But because Antony has changed and grown up, he actually opens up to his therapist and tries his best to work his game plan, because otherwise he might as well just go crazy.
All these bottled up feelings he has need to go somewhere in the meantime while he gathers his courage, so Anthony starts to paint them. Now, he doesn't draw Ian covered in flowers, hearts, and rainbows… he just draws the flowers, hearts, and rainbows with Ian in mind, just because. He also takes to quietly humming while doing so, and if a stupid love song slips in there, well, there’s no one to judge him.