Work Text:
His father's new monastery was quiet. A kind of peace Lloyd wasn't used to. They were in the middle of nowhere, and in the night, when all his students were sleeping, all that could be heard was the running water through the mill that gave them power. It was unsettling.
Then again, everything was unsettling at the moment. He shifted his position, legs falling over the edge of the rooftop. Stars glistened overhead, winking down at him. Lloyd tipped his head back further, leaning into the slope of the tiles, frigid air washing over him.
It was late; he knew that. He hadn't bothered to check the time before climbing out of his window and up to the high point he now lay. But Lloyd wasn't tired. No, he was almost the opposite. It was like his body was full, overflowing with his new power. Hand raised to the sky; he summoned the smallest spark possible. Golden light flared, and he tampered it down until it only glistened between his fingers.
Crazy, the power he was using, it shouldn't be showing. When he was small, the enormous effort to even summon this much power would have left him panting. He'd got better than that – but as he'd learned quickly over the last few weeks – putting in anywhere near the effort he used to risked him losing control.
Lloyd was pretty sure it was endless; this new well of power within him. Hours spent laying with his eyes closed, searching within himself but refusing to let it show outside had revealed now bottom. He turned his hand over, allowing the light to spread, encasing his arm in a soft golden glow.
He frowned. It still felt different. He'd expected that – it was different after all. But, not like this. His old power, green energy of some kind, felt like part of him. It was comforting, the way it flowed within his body, moving with him but also with a mind of its own. It listened to him, as long as he listened to it. The energy was exhilarating, a muscle that begged to be used.
But this was different. It was older, ancient. The gold that poured from his body felt like it was at just as much of a risk of consuming him as it was to befriend him. Like trying to tame an ocean in a storm, he could do little more than ride the current, directing it best he could.
So much of it, all encompassing. He wondered if it was too big for his frail mortal body. The power of a god, handed to a kid. He dropped his hand, staring up at the stars. Lloyd breathed out heavily, skin tingling with pressure. He sighed, before allowing some of his power to leak out of him. It coiled around him, golden flecks reminding him of fireflies.
He loved his green power, this, not so much. It didn't feel like his – like he'd stolen it, like an identity that belonged to someone else. Everyone kept telling him that this was his destiny; this was who he was. Lloyd wasn't so sure. The green ninja felt like his, no matter how much he hadn't wanted to be it. He'd found his family, brothers and sister, a home with his uncle. That was who he was supposed to be.
The ninja left a few weeks ago. Services no longer needed, they had gone with Wu to open a school, built from the remains of Darkley's. Lloyd had decided to stay here, get to know his father a bit. But he missed them terribly. He missed Kai's hugs and Zane's cooking, hearing Jay and Cole fighting over something dumb.
Lloyd sucked in a shaky breath, pushing his power back as it flared in response to his emotions. He had to be calm. All the time. Last time he got upset, he almost levelled part of the forest he and his father had been training in. No time for feelings, he was too powerful for that now.
He started to shiver, the chill in the air permeating beneath his hoodie. Sticking his hands deep in his pocket, he debated climbing down and going back inside. He didn't want to. The monastery was suffocating, everyone looked at him like he was someone else, someone he was supposed to be. Lloyd was waiting for them to see through it, to get over their awe and realise that he didn't know what he was doing. To stop and think, to say hang on, this kid has no idea. To notice that handing the power to level cities to a child was a bad idea.
No one noticed. No one said anything other than how amazing he was. Even his own father seemed blinded by his potential at times, seeking only to make him understand and control this new power he didn't want.
A clink of tile behind him and Lloyd shot to his feet, power flaring out without his command.
"Easy son," His father raised his hands gently, "It is only me."
Heart beating wildly, he dampened down the energy coiled inside of him, stepping away from the edge of the roof. He stared at his father, wondering what could have possible possessed him to climb the roof at whatever hour this was. Well maybe he should be asking himself that question.
"Dad—sorry, you startled me," Lloyd rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor.
Garmadon walked over and sat over the lip of the roof, patting the tile beside him. Slowly, Lloyd sank back down, gazing out over the forest.
"You seemed lost in thought son," his father said, "Is something troubling you?"
Lloyd was silent. What could he say to that. Lie, tell him everything was fine, come up with a reason for being on the roof which his dad almost certainly wouldn't believe. Or, maybe, he could help.
"I—uh—I was just thinking."
His father hummed but said nothing, only looking out towards the horizon. Lloyd began to fiddle with one of his hoodie strings. He shifted again, feeling the ancient power swirling through his body.
"I-I just—I wonder, I don't know who I am without this." He spoke quietly, fumbling over the words. Desperate to explain, it began to pour out of him. "My new power, it feels... different. Like it belongs to someone else. And I know that it's mine and everyone keeps telling me this is who I am but I don't..."
He trailed off, unable to put the feeling into words. He sighed, tucking his arms tight around his body. That was stupid. Now he would get some lecture, some teaching about how important he was for Ninjago and all of that. Stuff he'd heard a million times before.
"You are destined for great things my son," His father placed a hand on his shoulder, "this power you have cannot be taken lightly."
"Yeah yeah, I know—"
"But I wish you were not so young," His father interrupted. "That you had a chance to grow and learn who you are before you had to become something else."
That surprised him. He turned his eyes to his father, vibrant green now flecked with gold. Garmadon's head hung slightly lower, faced dipped almost in guilt. Lloyd paused, unsure of what to do. That wasn't what he expected at all.
"Dad, I—" he didn't even know where to go with that.
Garmadon spoke again, "I know you care for the Ninja, and for me and your mother too. I hope to guide you to become a man who knows themself, who can wield this power without fear or losing yourself to it. I know it is difficult Lloyd—I wish I could make it easier."
Well, that didn't help at all. Something stirred within him, the same flickering rage that he felt when he had first met his mother. Fuelled by his years of painful childhood. His father had always loved him much more than she had, but he would never stop hating the fact they had been on opposite sides for so long.
"What if I don't want this power?" His question shocked him, as did how tired he felt. It was the truth though. He didn't want it. No more than he had wanted to be the green ninja. Maybe he could learn to love it as he had before, but this time he was all alone. No ninja to help him, no purpose to work towards. He was supposed to be free from destiny. He did it, didn't he? Yet no one explained what would come after.
His father looked up at the stars, "We cannot choose our destiny Lloyd. You cannot get rid of this any more than I could fight the devourer's venom. Sometimes it doesn't matter what we want."
He knew that. Of course he did. It had been one of the first things he learned, long before the ninja. It didn't matter what he wanted. Lloyd sagged slightly, it still hurt to hear it said aloud.
"I know," He leant against his father, staring up at the stars. "I wish it did though."
Garmadon chuckled lightly, "Me too son. Me too."