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The punching bag swayed with every punch that I hurled at it. Each punch sounded through the empty room loudly. The punches came at a steady pace, every single one apart of a familiar pattern. Every now and again I would throw a kick in. My breath was ragged and came out in short puffs. Sweat trickled down the sides of my face and forehead, my shirt clinging to my body with perspiration.
Despite how worked up I was, I wasn’t focused. I wasn’t concentrated on my breathing or technique. On whether my feet were positioned the right way and if my hands were properly blocking my face like they were supposed to in case of an offensive attack. I wasn’t checking to make sure my elbows were tucked in or if my shoulders were squared. All I could think about was me. Of what had happened to me. Of what everyone had expected of me, of what everyone was still expecting of me.
Captain America. Super Soldier. Leader of the Avengers.
All titles that I’ve been graced with. But with those titles comes a considerable amount of responsibility. You suddenly become the one everyone turns to for help. Billions of lives at stake, and all of them are on your shoulders as you try to save them all, including your own.
Many people make jokes about the 70 years I spent in the ice. Many others feel sympathetic. They all understand that I have to transition through 70 years of improvements and discoveries. The technology, the advanced science, the modern culture, even nature. They understand the transition needs to be made, but they don’t understand the transition itself. They can pretend they do, or at least try to have some slight idea about it, but in the end, despite their trying, they can’t.
I understand the technology. It took me awhile to learn how to use it, but I understand the need for it, how much it has improved our way of living. I’m not a baffled idiot that can’t comprehend it just because it wasn’t in my era. Of course it was difficult to believe at first, but once I became more familiar with it, I began to appreciate it. The same can be said for the advancements made in science. I was never a scientist. I never wanted to be a scientist, and I still don’t. 70 years ago I left the science to the experts, to those that understand the craft and knew how to use it. I still plan on doing the same thing. I won’t put innocent people in danger by messing around with something I’ve never truly known about. That doesn’t mean that since I’ve learned of the advancements made that I’ve been utterly lost and unsure of what to do. In fact, I’m extremely gratified to see how far we’ve come that such advancements could be made. Cures have been made for previously severe and deadly diseases. That wouldn’t have been conceivable 70 years ago. But seeing how much it’s improved people’s lives and how it will continue to progress and save lives in the future is the wonderful miracle of it.
But no one understands that this is what I’ve learned since the time I was released from the ice. That I’ve come to love and cherish what has become of America, and even the whole world, in past 70 years. Everyone says I’m innocent. America’s Poster Boy since 1940. Tony’s taken to calling me Boy Scout on occasion, despite me telling him not to.
But I’m not a Boy Scout. I’m a soldier.
I’ve seen more things in my lifetime then I’d ever care to share. I would never burden someone with the horrors I’ve lived through. A lot of times I find myself wondering why I even wanted to become a soldier in the first place. If it was worth the pain and terror that has darkened the pages of my life. War is a horror that can barely be described. All it leaves you with are comrades lost and an emptiness that you can’t begin to explain.I remember my days in the war, and I remember the difficult things I’ve had to do since then, and I realize that there will only be more of it in the future.
That’s why I do what I do. That’s why I carry this burden, and allow people to misinterpret me. To believe I am how they think I am. Because if they knew the truth of the horrors, what would become of them?
I am Captain America. Super Soldier. Leader of the Avengers. I am here to protect the people of America and the world, alongside those that I trust with my life. I am here to make a difference. And when I finally leave this world, I want to leave it in better condition than when I came into it.
The final punch was head on, landing on the center of the punching bag. The force of the punch and the buildup of the speed knocked the punching bag off the ceiling, sending it flying into the wall behind it. Some debris fell off the ceiling, littering the floor. The punching bag landed with a thud on the floor, leaving an indent on the wall.
I am but one of many people who risk their lives every day for those who need it. We put our lives in danger so that the people of the world can live long and prosper. We do this with no expectations in return.
We do it because we can. We do it because if we don’t, who will?
