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The first time Yamaguchi notices it, he doesn’t know what to think.
Kageyama is staring at him. Yamaguchi doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong – or, at least, nothing wrong enough to earn him Kageyama's attention – but he isn’t sure. His serves have been improving, even, with all the extra work he’s been putting in, so he doesn’t know why Kageyama would be staring at him like that.
Maybe Kageyama isn’t staring at him. Maybe Yamaguchi just happens to be standing where Kageyama is looking.
Yamaguchi crosses the court to go stand by Hinata and Noya. He waits a minute, and then subtle glances over at where Kageyama is working with Suga on something.
Kageyama is still staring at him.
Yamaguchi looks away quickly.
He doesn’t know what he’s doing to garner Kageyama's attention, but he wishes that he did so that he could stop doing it.
Kageyama keeps staring at Yamaguchi, off and on, throughout practice. When they all leave, Kageyama stops just outside the gym and stares at Yamaguchi as he and Tsukki walk out, too. Kageyama looks like he has something that he wants to say. Yamaguchi shrinks in on himself a little, self-consciously, under the weight of Kageyama's stare.
“Something we can help you with?” Tsukki asks, staring right back at Kageyama as he adjusts his headphones around his neck.
Kageyama scowls at Tsukki, glances at Yamaguchi one more time, and then stalks away.
Kageyama’s behavior is unnerving, but Yamaguchi is glad that at least he didn’t have to suffer through the kind of lecture that Kageyama gives Hinata.
“Thanks, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says, glancing at Tsukki.
Tsukki hums and starts walking home, leaving his headphones around his neck. They don’t talk about Kageyama as they walk, but Yamaguchi wonders about it. Hopefully, Kageyama will have forgotten about whatever it is that Yamaguchi did today to annoy him by the time they see each other tomorrow. Yamaguchi really doesn’t want to have to deal with another practice like this one again.
It does happen again.
At their next practice, Kageyama stares at Yamaguchi almost the whole time. He is especially attentive when Yamaguchi practices his serves, and the scrutiny makes it impossible to concentrate. Yamaguchi fumbles more serves than he has in a while. It’s frustrating because Yamaguchi knows that he can do better than this – he’s just letting himself get psyched out.
Kageyama continues to watch him.
Yamaguchi does his best to ignore it.
By the fifth practice during which Yamaguchi has felt Kageyama's eyes on him almost from the moment they arrive to the moment they leave, Yamaguchi is ready to snap. He wants Kageyama to stop watching him. Or, failing that, he at least wants to know why Kageyama is watching him.
Five days now, and Kageyama still hasn’t said anything about Yamaguchi's playing. Whatever problem Kageyama is having, he isn’t vocalizing it – not to Yamaguchi, anyway.
“Has Kageyama said anything to you about my playing?” Yamaguchi asks Hinata as they clean up after practice.
Kageyama isn’t watching Yamaguchi now, but he did all throughout practice. The staring is annoying all on its own, but what’s worse is that Kageyama is completely throwing Yamaguchi off yet all the time that Kageyama is devoting to watching Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to be affecting Kageyama's playing at all.
“No,” Hinata says, focused on mopping the floor. “Why would he?”
“No reason,” Yamaguchi says, shaking his head. He doesn’t really want to get Hinata involved in this – whatever this is. Tsukki is annoyed enough on Yamaguchi's behalf; he doesn’t need Hinata to rile Kageyama up further.
“Kageyama doesn’t usually comment on anyone’s playing unless they mess up,” Hinata says, still focusing on mopping rather than looking at Yamaguchi. “He doesn’t really do compliments.” Hinata's expression twists in displeasure.
Yamaguchi knows that Hinata has his own issues with Kageyama. The two of them are partners on the court, sort of, and Kageyama rarely gives Hinata the emotional validation that he craves. Yamaguchi is having a very different problem. He doesn’t care if Kageyama doesn’t compliment him; he just wants Kageyama to stop staring at him.
“Right,” Yamaguchi says. “Thanks, Hinata.”
“Sure,” Hinata says. He glances up. “Hey, don’t worry about what Kageyama thinks,” he says. “Your serves are getting a lot better! Don’t let his grouchiness get you down.”
“Thanks,” Yamaguchi says again, more genuinely this time. He appreciates Hinata trying to make him feel better, and Hinata clearly means what he said about Yamaguchi's serves, too, which is really nice. It’s gratifying that someone on the team has noticed the effort that Yamaguchi has put in, even if it is Hinata. Hinata gives out compliments almost too readily, but he doesn’t lie – he might not always be accurate in his assessments, but he always says what he genuinely thinks.
Hinata probably isn’t the person Kageyama would confide in, anyway. Yamaguchi asked him first because Hinata isn’t likely to question Yamaguchi for asking, but Yamaguchi didn’t hold out much hope that Hinata would have the answer that Yamaguchi is looking for. The problem is that Yamaguchi doesn’t know who Kageyama would confide in.
When they leave, Kageyama stares at Yamaguchi and Tsukki again, but he makes no move to approach them. Tsukki stares back at him until Kageyama walks away, scowling and with his shoulders bunched up tightly.
It keeps happening.
When it’s been over a week, Yamaguchi decides that enough is enough. If Kageyama has a problem with him, then Yamaguchi wants to know what it is.
He doesn’t really want an audience, though, especially if Kageyama is going to lecture him, so he doesn’t confront Kageyama at practice. He knows that Kageyama likes to get milk during lunch, so, nine days after the first time that Yamaguchi noticed Kageyama staring at him in practice, Yamaguchi waits by the vending machine for Kageyama to arrive.
Yamaguchi twists the strap of his bag in his hands. He feels nervous, but he’s committed to this. He hasn’t even told Tsukki about his plan to confront Kageyama. Tsukki would have wanted to come and support Yamaguchi, which Yamaguchi appreciates but doesn’t want. He has no idea how this will go, and Tsukki and Kageyama tend to … escalate. They’ve gotten better with each other recently – Tsukki doesn’t antagonize Kageyama as much anymore and Kageyama has calmed down in general and is less quick to leap to defensiveness than he was – but Yamaguchi still would rather avoid the chance of this blowing up. He just wants to ask Kageyama what’s been going on and then deal with whatever Kageyama says quietly and privately.
He doesn’t have to wait long; he’s only been standing there for a few minutes when Kageyama shows up.
Kageyama acknowledges Yamaguchi when he first approaches but is clearly not interested in talking. He walks up to the vending machine, buys his milk, jabs the straw into the top of the box, begins slurping it down, and then turns and walks away, all without looking at Yamaguchi once beyond his initial greeting.
Yamaguchi doesn’t say anything either.
It isn’t until Kageyama has turned the corner and disappeared from sight that Yamaguchi remembers to speak.
He doesn’t know what happened. He just froze. Kageyama is a bit intimidating, sure, but Yamaguchi isn’t actually afraid of him. He doesn’t know why he froze like that.
Maybe he should have brought Tsukki after all – at least Tsukki would have made sure that Yamaguchi remembered to actually speak to Kageyama.
When he thinks about it later, Yamaguchi realizes that it isn’t that he’s afraid of Kageyama, but that he’s afraid of what Kageyama might say … and how what Kageyama is likely to say will almost certainly mirror what Yamaguchi already knows about his own abilities.
Kageyama doesn’t do compliments. If Kageyama has a comment about someone’s playing, it’s because he wants them to play better.
Well, Yamaguchi already knows that he isn’t a very strong player. He’s working hard to improve, but he knows that he still has a long way to go, especially when compared to someone like Kageyama. He doesn’t need Kageyama to tell him that.
Maybe he doesn’t need to know what it is that Kageyama so obviously wants to say to him. It might be better to let Kageyama keep staring and just learn to ignore it. Kageyama will get over it – whatever it is – eventually. Yamaguchi will simply have to deal with Kageyama's stares until then.
Of course the next day is the day that Kageyama decides to approach Yamaguchi after all.
“Yamaguchi-kun,” Kageyama says, making Yamaguchi jump.
Yamaguchi drops the volleyball he was holding and scrambles to grab it again. Kageyama stares at him, just like he’s been staring at Yamaguchi for days now. Kageyama's expression is mostly bland, but also a bit pinched and uncomfortable. It isn’t an unusual expression for Kageyama.
“Kageyama-kun,” Yamaguchi says, brightly. He clutches the volleyball tightly so he won’t drop it again. His hands feel a bit sweaty. “Is there something you need?”
Kageyama's expression goes more pinched and uncomfortable. “I –” he says, and then stops.
Out of the corner of his eye, Yamaguchi sees Tsukki watching the exchange. He meets Tsukki's eyes and smiles reassuringly. Tsukki continues practicing with Noya, but his attention is clearly split.
“You –” Kageyama says, haltingly, drawing Yamaguchi's attention back to him. Again, he stops. He’s beginning to look frustrated now.
“Are you okay, Kageyama-kun?” Yamaguchi asks him. Kageyama seems … strange.
Kageyama huffs and looks away. Then, just as quickly, he looks back at Yamaguchi. His stare is just as intimidating as ever and Yamaguchi shifts in discomfort. He is just considering making an excuse to go over to Tsukki – or Hinata or anybody – when Kageyama speaks.
“Your serves have improved a lot,” Kageyama says, abruptly.
Yamaguchi is staring now as well, stunned. He doesn’t know what to say. Before he can say anything, Kageyama keeps talking.
“The work you’ve been putting in is clearly making a difference in your abilities,” Kageyama continues, his tone stiff in a way that broadcasts exactly how unused to complimenting people he is. Yet, here he is, complimenting Yamaguchi, of all people. “Your jump float serve will be a real advantage to us when we go up against Seijou again,” Kageyama says, surprising Yamaguchi further. “I’m glad,” he says, finally looking away, staring off to the side, “that we have you as a pinch server,” he finishes.
For a moment, Yamaguchi just stares at Kageyama. Kageyama is still staring off to the side, rather than at Yamaguchi.
Yamaguchi has never heard Kageyama compliment someone like that – not in that kind of depth and not at that length. Kageyama has complimented people before, but it’s usually during a game – “nice receive,” that kind of thing – not out of the blue in the middle of practice when they aren’t even playing a practice game.
Kageyama shifts his weight, clearly uncomfortable. He glances behind him. Yamaguchi looks too, to see what Kageyama is looking at. Suga is standing with Daichi and Kiyoko, absorbed in their conversation; he doesn’t look up when Kageyama and Yamaguchi look over, and Kageyama quickly turns back around.
“I should get back to practicing,” Kageyama says, suddenly. He turns to go. Yamaguchi stops him.
“Wait, Kageyama-kun,” Yamaguchi says, taking a half-step towards Kageyama.
Kageyama pauses and looks at him. His shoulders are really tense. This was clearly difficult for him, but he made the effort to encourage and compliment Yamaguchi.
“I – thank you, Kageyama-kun,” Yamaguchi says. He really, really means it. Hinata noticing and commenting on how Yamaguchi's serves have improved is nice, but Kageyama noticing and thinking enough of it to mention the improvement is … really gratifying. Yamaguchi bows, still holding the volleyball to his chest.
Kageyama bows back. He doesn’t say anything, but he looks pleased.
Yamaguchi feels pretty pleased himself.
Kageyama lingers for a moment, not quite smiling but looking rather content, at least, before he turns and goes back to practicing on his own. Tsukki comes over to Yamaguchi a moment later.
“What was that about?” Tsukki asks, staring after Kageyama.
“Oh, you know,” Yamaguchi says, “that was just Kageyama complimenting my serves.” That really just happened. Yamaguchi laughs, feeling very light.
Tsukki frowns. “Really?” he asks. He glances from Kageyama to Yamaguchi and back again.
“Really,” Yamaguchi says.
All that time he spent worrying about what Kageyama was thinking, and Kageyama was admiring his serves. Kageyama doesn’t lie either – he and Hinata both say what they think, for good or bad, so Yamaguchi knows that Kageyama meant what he said.
It feels pretty good.
The next time that Yamaguchi practices his serves, Kageyama still stares at him.
Now, though, Yamaguchi reads it differently. He doesn’t see judgement and disapproval anymore. Now, he sees the assessment in Kageyama's gaze and knows that Kageyama is thinking ahead to playing against Seijou in the Spring Interhigh. Now, he knows that Kageyama is watching his serves and thinking about how Yamaguchi is going to help them win.
And that –
That feels pretty much fantastic.