Work Text:
It felt as though all the air had been knocked out of his lungs, the sudden, overwhelming onslaught of forgotten thoughts and feelings so morbid that it was too much to bear.
The black notebook slipped from his hands as Light tumbled out the door of the grounded helicopter, falling to his knees on the rough pavement and vomiting up what felt like everything he’d eaten in the last month. He barely felt the metal cuff biting into his wrist or the warm blood that dripped from where he’d pulled it hard enough to break the skin. He didn’t even know why he reacted so violently, or what had caused his mind to reel almost painfully inside his skull. He didn’t move at all until L was standing behind him, Death Note in hand.
Light spun around and scrambled back as far as the chain would allow.
“Keep that away from me!” Why…? He couldn’t remember but he was terrified. L looked down at him, with his usual blank expression, maybe a bit curious.
“Did you remember being Kira?” A simple question. Light flinched.
“No! Maybe. I don’t know! I-!” His hands flew to his head, pulling hard at his hair, nails scratching the skin of his scalp. Too much, too much, too much! Whatever thoughts that caused the feelings were gone, but the intensity remained and he knew that book was the cause.
L’s arm dropped to his side, the notebook hanging loose in his fingers.
“Alright.” He turned away, back towards the helicopter and Light crumpled as the panic continued to rise, bile burning the back of his throat with nothing left in his stomach to purge. His breath was coming in ragged gasps as he hunched farther in on himself, feeling as though he was being torn apart from the inside of his mind. There were no distinct thoughts, just vague impressions of death and wickedness. He gagged on nothing. Suddenly the world went dark.
And warm. The comforting weight of a heavy blanket was dropped over him, covering his whole body aside from his face tucked into his knees. He looked up then though, finding L crouched right in front of him, face to face. Light’s ability to think was slowly starting to resurface. He could see the slight tilt of L’s eyebrows, the expression of concern was subtle, but on L even that spoke volumes. The thumb in his mouth as well. It wasn’t the usual nibble on his nail, but the whole tip of the appendage between his teeth, biting it, though not enough to injure. L was unsure of his actions, didn’t know if he’d done the right thing to help.
Light picked up on all this in a matter of seconds, slumping forwards so his head rested against the crook between L’s neck and shoulder. The emotional attack had left him exhausted and L was another comforting warmth against him. He couldn’t see his face, but he felt the detective stiffen briefly before he relaxed again, surprised it seemed. They stayed like that for a few moments, before a distinctive rattle and clink caught Light’s attention.
He looked up to see the handcuff was on the ground by their feet along with the key, L carefully holding Light’s now free wrist and inspecting the wound there, a mild cut and mottled bruising circled it, looking inflamed.
“What…?” The detective looked up at his partner at the sound.
“You are not Kira.”
He said it so simply, that anyone else could have missed the significance behind it. Light wasn’t anyone else however, and the true meaning left him a slightly stunned. L wasn’t just freeing him, but apologising. It took a moment for him to gather his thoughts.
“Really…? How was my… reaction to the book anything but damning evidence? Even I’m not sure now-”
“You are not Kira” L interrupted him, more firmly this time;
“Not anymore.”
~~~~~
Rem watched the scene unfold with marginal interest. So Light’s plan failed, foiled by himself alone. Really though, it didn’t matter. He was no longer under suspicion, which meant that Misa was also in the clear. Which was all Rem cared about. She was still stuck with the detectives who now possessed her notebook, but that was fine for the time being as well. So long as Misa was safe, she would follow along….