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Blair looked up from the page as the apartment door opened and Jim let himself in.
"Hey," he said, not moving from his place on the couch.
"Hey," Jim said in return, shrugging off his jacket and undoing his gun holster. "Good book?"
"Yeah, it's pretty interesting. It's an exploration and comparison of sexuality and sexual norms across different cultures."
Jim raised an eyebrow, "Is that really something you should be reading in the living room?"
"It's an academic text, not porn," Blair said. "It's really fascinating to see what's considered normal by one culture and deviant by another and how it all contrasts. Some people act like being gay or bi or whatever is some new, modern trend, but did you know that in ancient Greece rich men would have parties and invite attractive, young boys specifically to have sex with them? It was considered perfectly normal and acceptable for a man married to a woman to go and have a fling with another man."
"I can't imagine my wife would have been happy if I'd tried that," Jim said. He dug around in the fridge, looking for something to eat. "Did you finish off the lasagne?"
"No, there should be some left. Try looking behind the eggs."
"Ah, found it." Jim took out the pot of leftovers and went to the microwave.
The deviation into domesticity over, Blair continued, "People act like monogamy is the only right way to do a relationship, that anything else is deceitful and wrong."
"You're not going to have an intellectual debate on the merits of cheating, are you?"
"It's not cheating if everyone agrees to it. There are people out there in polyamorous relationships where there are three or more people all in a relationship with each other. None of them are cheating, because everyone's involved and part of the discussion. Then there are couples who have open relationships. One or both of them can go and have sex with other people and neither minds because they know at the end of the day they'll come home to each other."
"Sounds like a perfect recipe for jealousy if you ask me," Jim said. "You want anything to eat?"
"No, I had a sandwich earlier, and there doesn't have to be jealousy if there's trust. I mean, I went to college with a guy who was asexual but his girlfriend had a really strong sex drive."
"Asexual?" Jim asked. "Like how sponges reproduce?"
The microwave beeped and Jim pulled out his plate of lasagne. He dug in the drawer for a fork.
"No, it means he doesn't feel sexual attraction to anyone. He just wasn't interested in sex, but his girlfriend was so they made an agreement. She could go out and have sex with other people, one-night-stands and the like, so long as she told him when she was doing it."
Jim made a face, "Sounds like she wasn't really invested in the relationship." He came over to the couch and sat down beside Blair, eating while Blair talked.
"No way. They were completely in love, the most sickeningly cutesy couple you ever saw in your life. They were absolutely head over heels for each other and got married a couple of years after they graduated, but they just didn't have sex. People act like such a critical part of relationships, but really it's just one thing that people can do together. They still did everything else together - lived together, had dates, hung out, everything. If you looked at them, you'd think they were the perfect married couple, they just didn't have sex together. It's like... those disgusting greasy Wonderburgers you like. I can't stand them, so you go each Wonderburgers with Simon. It doesn't stop us doing everything else together. For this couple, sex was the Wonderburger. She would go eat burgers with other people who liked burgers, but the rest of the time they'd have lasagne."
Jim's fork dropped onto his plate with a clang. He was staring at Blair, wide-eyed.
"Jim?" Blair waved a hand in front of Jim's face. "Are you zoning out, buddy?"
"I..." Jim said. He set the plate down on the coffee table. "I have to go." He stood up, grabbed the jacket he'd removed only moments earlier, and was out of the door before Blair could say another word.
Blair stared at the abandoned dinner and at the closed door.
What the hell?
Blair had no idea what the hell had just happened. Maybe comparing sex to Wonderburgers had offended Jim somehow. He had no idea. This reaction seemed out of nowhere and Blair was left bewildered.
He waited a while, expecting to Jim to come back. Maybe he'd just forgotten something in his truck and gone down to get it. This didn't have to be about something Blair had said.
But the lasagne just sat there on the coffee table, rapidly cooling. Maybe Jim was being sexually represent and was disgusted in Blair for talking so openly about a topic while he was trying to eat, but that didn't seem like Jim. Besides, he would just tell Blair to shut up and talk about something else.
He tried to go back to his book, but he couldn't focus on the words. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd done something wrong, that he'd said something to hurt Jim's feelings or drive him away. His mind went back to that horrible day when he'd come home to find his belongings packed in boxes. He couldn't face that happening again. He couldn't imagine living through that pain a second time.
By the time Jim finally returned, the lasagne was stone cold on the abandoned plate and Blair had barely read two sentences. He stood up from the couch, anxiously waiting for some explanation, for some reason why Jim had just vanished like that. He really, desperately hoped that it wasn't because of something he'd said.
"Jim?" he asked. "You OK?"
"Sandburg," Jim replied, then corrected himself, "Blair. I'm sorry for running off like that but there was something I needed to do, something important. There's something..." He broke off. He looked about as anxious as Blair felt and Blair wanted to rush over to him and comfort him, or do something stupid to make him laugh.
"What's wrong, Jim?"
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. That's exactly it. You're my lasagne."
Blair looked over at the plate on the coffee table, more confused now than before.
"Let me start again," Jim said. "Your analogy, about how people do different things with different people, I haven't ever thought of it like that before. I always thought that a relationship was a relationship. You have two people who can live together and share meals together and go out together but I always thought that sex had to be a part of that or it wasn't real. I never thought that you could just agree to find the sex elsewhere."
"Jim, I'm still confused."
"I don't want to have sex with you."
"OK?"
"I'm straight. I know I'm straight and I've seen enough of your dating habits to know you're straight too, but everything else... That's different."
"What are you saying?" Blair couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Jim look so intense and serious.
"I love you, Blair. You're my best friend, my partner, my guide, and I can't imagine my life without you in it. So I want to make this official."
Blair stared at him, still confused. The pieces were slotting into place inside his mind but he still couldn't quite believe what he was hearing, sure he must have misunderstood because there was no way Jim could be going where it sounded like this was going.
"Blair Sandburg," Jim said, pulling out a small jewellery box from his jacket pocket, "Will you marry me?"
Still half-certain Jim must be joking, Blair reached out and took the box, opening it up to find a gold ring inside, decorated with tiny diamonds. Jim had raced off, the moment he had realised he could have a relationship without being sexually attracted to the other person, so that he could buy an engagement ring.
"Are you sure?" Blair asked. Only a few minutes ago, he had been scared that Jim might cast him out again. That he might instead invite Blair to share his life with him was something he hadn't considered.
"More sure than I've been about anything," Jim said. "You drive me crazy with your mess, and those weird, green shakes you make, and the fact you tried to make me eat kale, but I can't imagine life without you. You gave me a purpose, helped me learn who I really am, and you sacrificed your dreams for my safety. You are the most important person in the world to me. The guys at work already joke about us being married, so why not make it official?"
Blair lifted the ring gently from the box, but he didn't put it on yet. He was scared .He wasn't quite sure of what, be he was. Maybe he was scared that this would get taken away from him? He wanted this more than he'd known he could want something and he was terrified that it might all vanish.
"You won't get jealous? If I still pick up girls and have sex with them, you won't think I'm cheating on you?"
"As long as you don't mind me occasionally doing the same," Jim said. "We'll fulfil our need for sex with other people, but in everything else, we'll be partners. What do you say?"
Jim sounded so nervous. He was putting his heart on the line and Blair still hadn't given him a real answer.
Tears slid down Blair's cheeks. What the hell was he doing crying? He was happy, delighted, incredulous that Jim would want to promise to spend their lives together, so why was he crying about it?
"Blair?" Jim asked, voice shaking a little. Blair nodded, grinning through his tears.
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes, Jim. I'll marry you."
Jim pulled Blair close into a crushing embrace and they stood like that for several minutes, laughing and crying together.
It was Blair who finally pulled away, asking, "How the hell are we going to explain this to Simon?"
***
They threw a party for everyone at work, gathering all the detectives and everyone at a bar down the road from the precinct. It was easy to get everyone there with the promise of a free round of drinks. Once everyone had a beer in hand, Jim and Blair stood at the centre of a small crowd of friends and co-workers.
"Blair and I have an announcement to make," Jim started.
"You're getting married," called Rafe, teasing.
"Way to steal our thunder," Blair complained. There was a general round of laughter at this joke, then a long, awkward pause as everyone came to the realisation that they were serious.
"Seriously?" Simon asked.
"Seriously," Jim replied. "I asked Blair to marry me and he said yes."
"You couldn't have done this three years ago when we were still running the pool," Henry complained, to more laughter and many complaints of missed bets. Then everyone was gathered around, offering them congratulations, promising to buy the next round of drinks, and joking with Blair about how he'd have to give up his womanising ways.
"Nope," said Blair, "that's going to carry on."
"You're not serious," said Henry, "you can't be planning on cheating on him when you've only just got engaged."
"It's not cheating if Jim's OK with it."
He had about ten variants of that conversation over the course of the night, trying to explain that he and Jim really had talked this over, and that Jim really was OK with this, and that it definitely didn't mean that their marriage was doomed to fail before it even began. After yet another person tried to convince him that he had to do the right thing and be faithful to Jim, Blair gave up trying to explain it. Jim understood and that was all that really mattered.
***
They got married in a small, courthouse ceremony with their friends from work and a handful of others. They wrote their own vows and if most of the people watching didn't understand why Jim called Blair his Guide and Blair called Jim his Blessed Protector, then that didn't really matter. They said the words and exchanged the rings, and Jim bent down so that Blair could kiss him on the cheek as the wedding became official.
At the reception, they drank and talked and laughed. They gave their toasts and talked about their love for each other. They even shared a dance, and Blair had insisted it be to My Best Friend by Queen instead of a sappy slow dance. Then they went home together, said goodnight, and each went to a separate bed.
They took a fishing trip as their honeymoon and rented a cabin in the woods. They drank beers on the porch and cast lines into the water. Blair tried his luck with the spear fishing and then they cooked their spoils together. Never once did they kiss or talk of sex, but as they cuddled together on the couch and listened to the wind through the trees, it didn't feel like anything was missing.
***
Three weeks after their return from honeymoon, Blair decided it was time for a night out. Jim was working late and he didn't feel like hanging around the loft on his home, so he got dressed up and headed into one of his favourite haunts. Drink in hand, he surveyed the scene for someone who might be interested in a hook-up.
There was a girl at the other end of the bar who smiled at him when he caught her eye. When he headed over there, her body turned towards him, inviting.
"Can I get you a drink?" Blair asked and she agreed, placing her order with the barman. It was as Blair paid that her eyes fell on his hand.
"You bastard!" she snapped, mood gone sour in an instant. She grabbed her newly ordered drink and threw it in Blair's face. Blair was left spluttering and damp and extremely confused. She'd seemed into him a moment earlier.
"What?" he asked.
"I hope your wife knows what a disgusting cheat you are," the girl said. She glared at the ring on Blair's hand. He looked down, seeming to see it for the first time.
"Bastard," the girl said again, grabbing her coat and hurrying away from him.
Blair looked down at the ring on his hand, unsure what to do now. This was certainly making things more complicated. He couldn't just walk up to a stranger and say that he was in an open relationship and his husband really didn't mind that he was doing this. It would make him look even more like a cheater than just standing here wearing a wedding ring. If he couldn't get their friends to understand the nature of their relationship, how was he supposed to convince anyone else?
He dabbed himself off with a napkin and sat down at one of the barstools, thinking about it.
He pulled out his phone and started texting.
Do you mind if I take off my wedding ring? he asked. It's making things awkward.
His phone buzzed a few moments later. How awkward?
My shirt is soaking and margarita stings when it gets in your eyes.
He could picture the way Jim would laugh at that and smiled at the thought.
Jim's reply came quickly: Do what you have to do.
***
Blair was the first one awake for once and headed into the kitchen to get started on breakfast, cooking up omelette for himself, Jim, and his guest. He'd been careful to tell her that he was only after a one-time hook-up and she'd been perfectly fine with that, but he still wasn't sure how this morning would go.
Marinette, the girl from last night, emerged from his bedroom wearing one of his shirts just as he was serving out the omelette. She frowned at the plates.
"Someone else here?" she asked.
"He's sleeping up there," Blair gestured, "but he'll wake up when he hears us moving around. He's a really light sleeper." There was no need to add that even with earplugs, Jim's Sentinel hearing left him sensitive to the slightest noise. Jim would have started waking up as soon as Blair started working in the kitchen.
"I didn't realise you had a roommate."
"It's a little more complicated than that." Blair wasn't sure how much more to say, especially since he'd made it clear to Marinette that he wasn't interested in a relationship with her. She didn't need to know all the details of why.
Jim chose that moment to descend the stairs, wearing only a pair of old boxer shorts. Blair didn't miss the appreciative look Marinette gave the sleek muscle on display. Jim walked past Blair, putting a hand on the small of his back as he reached round him for the coffee.
"Morning," Jim mumbled, hand lingering on Blair's back as he drank his morning dose of caffeine. Marinette looked at the two of them.
"Erm... are you two..." she trailed off.
"Marinette, this is my husband Jim. Jim, this is Marinette."
"Morning," Jim said again. He took a plate of omelette and carried in to the table. Blair offered another plate to Marinette.
"Should I go?" she asked. She looked incredibly awkward, which really wasn't surprising.
"Nonsense," Blair said. "Have breakfast at least."
Blair took his plate and sat down beside Jim.
"We're in an open marriage," Blair said, because it was the simplest way to explain things. "I told you I wasn't interested in a relationship with you and this is why, it's because I'm in a relationship with him."
"But you still go out and pick up girls?" Marinette asked.
"We talked about it before we got married," Jim said. "I have no problem with him going out and finding one-night-stands."
She looked between the two of them, seeing the calmness between them. There were no shouts about cheating, no anger at the events of the night before. They were perfectly OK with this.
"Huh," she said after a minute. "It's a little unconventional, but I guess if it works for you, it works for you. It's your lives, your relationship. Who am I to argue?"
She seemed to relax and Blair relaxed too, glad that this morning wasn't going to end in the sort of scene the night before had started with. In the end, they had a perfectly civil breakfast and then Marinette took a shower and grabbed her things. Jim called her a cab and she left Blair with her number.
"In case either of you want another night of fun," she said with a wink in Jim's direction.
When Blair sat down on the couch next to Jim and leaned against him, the wedding ring was back on his finger. He twirled it absently, watching the light play on the surface. He hadn't be quite sure this would work. Despite all their words, all their promises, he'd been afraid that something like the night before would end in jealousy or hurt feelings, but Jim had been perfectly at ease about it.
"Unconventional," Blair muttered.
Jim put his arms around Blair, cuddling him close. "You never did anything the conventional way."
"I suppose that's true."
"But it's like she said, if it works for us, it works for us. No one else's opinion really matters."
"Right," Blair agreed.
Jim pressed a kiss to the side of Blair's head.
"I love you."
"Love you too."
And that was what mattered. The physical side of things didn't really matter when they were bound together heart and soul, Sentinel and Guide, husband and husband. Conventions changed from society to society, all that mattered was that they loved each other, and that this was right for them.