Work Text:
Dave shifted his feet. It had been 3 hours since he got on this flight and goddamn he had to pee. In hindsight he probably shouldn't have fought the flight attendants for their juice stash but it was too late now.
Oh, well. This entire trip would be worth it when he finally got to meet his boyfriend for the first time ever. He and John had met in a online chatting forum called pesterchum and now, after all these years, Dave had finally been able to save enough money to fly from Texas to Washington for Valentines Day.
The fasten seatbelt sign began to flash breaking Dave out of his reverie.
...
Dave walked into the busy airport, a backpack clutched in his hand.
"Dave!" He turned towards the voice just as someone crashed into him.
"Dave it's so good to see you!" A familiar tone chirped.
"John?" Dave asked.
"Yeah?"
Dave shook his head. "Tell a dude before crushing him in such a sweet embrace."
"Heheh sorry. It's just great to finally be able see you in person." John let him go. "Besides I bet if you didn't wear those stupid shades, you'd be able to recognize me."
"You bought these stupid shades. I just wear them ironically."
"Sure, Dave."
"Let's go Egbert. I have a need for speed, and a bathroom."
"Don't worry my house is pretty close." Entwining their fingers John led them to his car.
Once in Dave got straight to the point. "Okay Egbert turn on the radio and prepare to be educated on real music."
"Nope." John turned the key in the ignition.
"John turn it on."
"Noooo." John practically sang. "I have something even better than the radio." He paused to shuffle through a small cd case. "Guess what I have. Let me give you a hint. It contains the soundtrack of one of the greatest movies known to man."
"John, I swear if that's what I think it is I'm jumping out of this car and walking back to Texas."
Click.
A familiar tune filled the car. "How do I, spend one night without you..."
"No John, no, no, no, John. Turn that shit off."
John joined in. "If I had to live without you what kind of life would that be?"
"Nooooooooooooo."
"Haha shut up dude you're missing the best part."
The rest of the trip passed in a similar fashion until the car jolted to a stop in a suburban neighborhood and Dave was able to stumble out.
"Holy merciful heavens."
The car door slammed behind him.
"I don't think I'll be able to hear anything ever again. Thanks a lot John. I'm deaf ." Dave complained dramatically falling to the grass.
"Get up Dave, you can hear better than me." John rolled his eyes, walking up to his house and unlocking the door.
"Stop discriminating against me." Dave scolded standing and following John.
"Finally, you big baby." John lightly punched his arm before letting him in.
"Woah." Dave tenderly walked into John's house. "Dude."
"What-OH NO." John whispered in horror, barely remembering to shut the door behind him.
"This is so ironic." Dave whispered, staring at the scene in front of him. The entire house was dark, but it was not hard to see the millions of red, pink, and white confectionaries that littered every available surface, partially due to the fact that millions candles gleamed at them from atop buttercream icing. Dave and John tenderly made their way across the room.
"Daaaad." John cursed. "C'mon Dave, lets go upstairs."
After a few minutes of trying to get around the slabs of decorated pastries that guarded the stairs like sentries the two of them made it to the second floor. John tenderly peeked into his room.
"At least this place is free of Betty Crocker's influence." John sighed, entering the relatively cake free bedroom
"Sheesh Egbert stop knocking the Crocker name."
"Nah man she's evil."
"Don't be so disrespectful. Don't you know Crocker is what America was founded on. It's not peace and liberty it's cake and frosting. That's what brings people together. It's why Dadbert left this sweet note for you." Dave picked up the card that was on John's shelf.
"Wait! Nooo! Put that down." John shrieked lunging for Dave.
"Shhhhh, I'm reading. Happy Valentines Day son. I'm proud-"
If this was a movie the scene would slow as John tried to save him and his boyfriend from their sweet fate. It isn't and they were immediately hit with sixteen tiers of cake triggered by the trip wire attached to the letter.
"-of you." Dave stood in shocked silence. "Egbert what was that?"
"I warned you about Betty Crocker Bro. I warned you, dog," was John's reply.
"Egbert shut up." Dave warned wiping a large clump of icing off his cheek.
"Oh yeah? Make me-Mmphf." John sputtered as a gob of frosting hit him in the face. "It keeps happening!"
Dave gave a smirk, "What now Egbert?"
John laughed. "This."
A chunk of red velvet knocked Dave's glasses off and was quickly retaliated with vanilla crumble that splattered onto John's shirt. What little of the room that wasn't covered in sweets was quickly smeared with chocolate and whipped cream.
"Give it up Egbert." Dave panted.
"Never." John swore, slumping behind a fortress of marshmallow fluff covered furniture.
"No one can hide from a Strider forever." Dave warned. "It's only a matter of time.
"I'll never admit defeat." John shook his fist at his boyfriend.
There was a pause.
"Truce?" John asked.
"Fine."
John flopped onto his bed and felt the mattress dip as Dave joined him.
"John?" Dave said, leaning back onto the pillows.
"Yeah?" John glanced over towards his boyfriend too lazy to move his head.
"Love you." He muttered.
"Love you too Dave. Happy Valentines Day."