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“Thorin?” Bilbo murmured sleepily. “Why are you-“ he blinked. “Right, break room, hello.”
“A little early to go to sleep, don’t you think?” Thorin asked as a yawning Bilbo righted himself on the couch. “It’s only noon.”
The urge to touch Bilbo’s tousled curls was overwhelming, and it was with something close to glee that Thorin allowed himself to give in to it, even though they weren’t even alone in the break room. But surely he was allowed, they were dating now. And while there had only been one date so far, dating was still dating, and after they both got off work they would in fact have their second date. So he was definitely allowed.
Thorin had the feeling he was overthinking this particular subject. He wasn’t sure what to do about it though.
Bilbo turned his head into Thorin’s hand and sighed. Sadly it wasn’t a very happy sigh, and Thorin frowned down at the other man and raised his eyebrows in a silent question.
“Esme called late last night, there’d been an accident at Saradoc’s restaurant and he ended up needing to go the A&E. She asked me to come over and keep an eye on the sprout so she could go meet him.”
Thorin’s frown deepened. He’d only met Esmeralda very briefly, but she’d seemed like a lovely young woman. Especially when it turned out that she wasn’t married to Bilbo.
(In retrospect, it was possible that he hadn’t really been so annoyed with the possibility of Bilbo being married just on Bofur’s behalf…)
“I hope it was nothing too serious? What happened?” Thorin asked as he gently combed his fingers through Bilbo’s soft hair.
“2nd-degree burns on his right arm, and a pastry chef who is not allowed to set fire to any more desserts in a good long while.” Bilbo smiled up at him. “He’ll be fine, they didn’t even keep him for more than a few hours, I just didn’t sleep very much.”
“Do you- would you like to go to dinner another night?” Thorin asked. He was a little surprised at how unhappy the thought made him and he mentally reprimanded himself for being foolish. There would be other dates. Bilbo had showed every sign of enjoying their first date as much as Thorin had, and if he wanted to get out of a second one he hardly would make up such a convoluted reason as to why he couldn’t make it. Whe- If Bilbo was no longer interested, Thorin trusted him to be upfront about it.
“No, it’s fine,” Bilbo said, getting to his feet and stretching his arms up above his head. The action caused his shirt to ride up just a little, showing a thin sliver of pale skin at his waist, and the fuzz of pale blond hairs, and Thorin dragged his eyes away as soon as he realised that he was staring. “I wouldn’t be at work if I’d been truly knackered. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
“Damn,” Thorin deadpanned, and Bilbo smiled at him again. “If you fall asleep during dinner I will need you to sign a written statement of what you just told me so I can give it to Dwalin or he will never let me forget how boring I am.”
“You’re not boring,” Bilbo protested, yawning again as soon as he’d finished speaking.
“Obviously,” Thorin said. Bilbo shook his head in exasperation, but he was smiling again.
“You-“ he began, but just then his phone started to beep. “I’m already up,” he scolded the device. “Off with you.” If anything the phone started beeping louder. “Oh for- Turn. Off. Oh, I see how it is,“ he said when he caught the smile Thorin hadn’t been able to supress. “Yes, laugh, go ahead. I usually don’t use the alarm on this thing, I have a perfectly functional alarm clock at home.”
“Not a rooster?” Thorin asked innocently, his smile growing wider when Bilbo’s own mouth quirked in what appeared to be helpless amusement. Meanwhile, the alarm was just getting louder and more insistent. Some of the other people in the break room were watching them curiously, possibly with some irritation as well, but Thorin couldn’t care less.
“No, I upgraded last autumn actually. Too much trouble what with the feathers and all. And it didn’t even lay eggs, and the thing was impossible to reprogram when I had a day off.”
“I can imagine.”
Finally the alarm stopped and Bilbo looked a bit sheepishly at Thorin. “I might have turned off the phone. But at least that worked.”
Technical ineptitude should not be endearing, right?
-
Bilbo smiled to himself as he was walking down the corridor. Some childish, teenaged part inside of him wanted to stop and just shout to everyone that he was seeing Thorin Oakenshield so there. He wished he actually could have shared this information with his teenaged self, because for a while there, he’d been pretty convinced that the only dates he would ever have would be with someone who lost a bet.
Although... if he could have shown his teenaged self a photo of Thorin, he would never have believed himself. And if he'd added that Thorin was funny and smart and sweet and… let’s just say that Bilbo might have ended up kicking himself for being such a tease. Chubby, short nerds did not get to date people like Thorin Oakenshield.
Except, when they apparently did.
As he’d told Esme shortly after meeting Thorin: the man was so far out of his league that nothing was ever going to happen, but he’d been wrong! Oh, Bilbo loved being wrong about things like this, even if it made his cousin smugger than a cat who’s has a whole flock of canaries and then a bloody parrot as dessert. Possibly an ostrich as well. She’d be coughing up metaphorical feathers for a long time but that was all right because he was going on his second date with Thorin.
It was quite possible that Bilbo’s enthusiasm about this was beginning to border on being creepy, so he made an effort to act like the grown-up surgeon his business cards proclaimed him to be. (They didn't explicitly state the grown up part, but it was implied...)
Wonder where he’d put his business cards anyway… He’d gotten them from Nori, and then… Well, that didn’t matter much at the moment, did it.
They were going to dinner again, skipping out on the traditional second date outing to the cinema, something which suited Bilbo just fine. You couldn’t really talk in a cinema and Bilbo could literally listen to Thorin for hours. If the man hadn’t been a doctor he could have made a fortune in doing audio books or… well, the idea of telephone sex lines had occurred to him. But he had properly scolded himself afterwards.
Thorin met him down in the lobby with a small smile on his lips and the grin Bilbo gave him in return was perhaps a little too bright, but it wasn’t like he could help it. His face clearly had ideas of its own.
“I was thinking Lebanese, is that okay?” Bilbo asked as they started heading for the exit.
“That’s fine,” Thorin nodded.
“Dwalin’s not working tonight?” Bilbo noted after they both had greeted the two guards standing by the main entrance. Normally there would only be one, but after Bilbo’s run in with that poor man; Sméagol, Gandalf had insisted that they’d remained extra vigilant for a while. Bilbo couldn’t really understand why seeing as how the poor man was not really in a position to do a repeat performance, but that was Gandalf for you. The day everything he did started making sense was when you booked an appointment in with the Department of Psychiatry.
“No, he’s not”, Thorin said with relish and Bilbo snickered. When Thorin grumbled Bilbo patted his arm soothingly. And if his hand happened to linger a little, and then slip down to rest over Thorin’s, and if that led to their fingers becoming intertwined and Thorin turning to give him that same small happy smile again, well that was just lovely.
And if his inner teen did a bit of flailing, well, he was still working on that bit.
-
“How can you not own a television?”
“It’s not that complicated,” Thorin said, “I just never bought one.” He smirked when Bilbo rolled his eyes and waved his fork in Thorin’s direction.
“That’s still amazing actually, do you not go near shopping malls either? Because I swear that every time I go into an electronics store, the people working there try to convince me that more wall space in my home that is occupied by a flat screen, the happier I’ll be. And they are good at what they do.”
“Are you often in the electronics store?” Thorin asked. “Because judging by your fight with your alarm-“
“Which I won, thank you.”
“-I’d not think that was something you’d be interested in.”
“I’d just woken up!”
“I think alarms are designed to be managed by people who’ve just woken up,” Thorin said with a raised eyebrow.
“You may have a point,” Bilbo grudgingly admitted. “But I still like electronics stores. Just because the majority of the technology more modern than a microwave seems to hate me does that mean I hate it back. It’s- I remember growing up in a world without Internet.” He chuckled. “Not that I thought about it like that at the time, but you’ll know what I mean. It's amazing, a whole new world.”
Thorin would blame his sister sons’ fondness for anything Disney for the song that popped into his head. But he had the feeling that they were entirely too young to blame the image of Bilbo in harem trousers on.
Not wanting to make things awkward Thorin scrambled for something to say. Which was not related to harem trousers. Sheer, see-through harem trousers.
“I don’t even know what half the things on my phone are good for.”
Wonderful. Yes, let’s avoid making things awkward by admitting that you’re an idiot. Instead of backing away in horror Bilbo leaned over the table, motioning Thorin to do the same.
“Me neither,” he whispered, hazel eyes twinkling with held back laughter. “Can you believe they let us operate on people?”
Thorin’s mind briefly flashed to Azog and other doctors that he’d come across which he personally wouldn’t want to have within a two-mile radius of a hospital, but as Bilbo decidedly did not belong in that group Thorin was soon to shake off the thought as he didn’t want it to ruin the dinner.
“I don’t know, are you telling me that there were classes in medical school about cell phones? I fear I missed those.”
“Ah,” Bilbo said with a conspiratorial smile. “I think you skipped them on purpose. Though really, back when I was in med school the average phone still had buttons with numbers on them, and the most complicated thing it could do was send a text. And that is something I think I still can manage to do with an amazing success rate.”
Thorin still had all the texts he’d received from Bilbo saved on his phone.
Yeah.
“I’m pretty sure my first phone had an alarm,” Thorin said as a replacement for admitting that he was… well, he didn’t know what he was really, but he was fairly sure it wasn’t particularly flattering.
“Pfft.” Bilbo dismissed him. “Maybe, but I don’t remember ever sleeping during my Uni years.”
“Where did you study?” Thorin asked, feeling like he might have been told this at some point but-“
“At Lothlórien,” Bilbo replied, and Thorin had to consciously stop himself from making a face.
There wasn’t anything wrong with Lothlórien as such, in fact it was a very prestigious school, one of the oldest in the country, one out the best in the country, but most of the people he’d met who’d studied there all seemed to be… the words ‘pompous arseholes’ came to mind. But somehow it wasn’t surprising that Bilbo would be a better person than that.
“You did your clinical studies at E.L. right?” Bilbo continued. “I think I remember that from the introduction to one of your papers.”
“I did,” Thorin confirmed, smiling as he'd enjoyed his time in Ered Luin, at least when he'd not been about to drop dead from exhaustion. “Speaking about papers, may I ask why you stopped publishing?”
It felt like an almost too personal question, but Thorin really wanted to know. And he also wanted a change of subjects before he ended up saying something rude about anyone Bilbo knew that had also been at Lothlórien.
Unlike Thorin’s own research, Bilbo had often branched out into other fields than his specialty, and the results had always been very interesting. Even if Thorin had only read any of the papers after Gandalf had announced that they would get a new additiona to the department. But Bilbo hadn’t published anything in years, even though he should have had plenty of time to devote to other things than just seeing patients considering what he’d told Thorin about his work at the Shire.
Bilbo didn’t say anything at first, and just when Thorin was about to backtrack and change the subject to something else; was it pathetic to talk about the weather…? the blond sighed and put his fork down.
“I’d like to say that I didn’t have the time to research or write, but that would be a horrible lie.” The corner of Bilbo's mouth twitch. “The truth is that I rather lost the taste for it. And it’s only been very recently that I’ve started thinking about giving it a go again. It’s, ah, complicated?”
“You do not have to tell me,” Thorin said quietly. “I didn’t mean to pry.”
Bilbo smiled wryly. “And I didn’t mean to lie, because it really wasn’t that complicated.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “Someone I trusted published one of my papers under his own name, and if I hadn’t seen the journal I’d have only known about it once someone realised that my paper looked awfully familiar.”
“Surely you would have been believed.” Thorin couldn’t really imagine anyone distrusting Bilbo. As Thorin had just witnessed, the other man wasn’t even capable of telling a social lie without feeling bad about it.
“I don’t know, he was very respected, and-“ Bilbo looked away. “No one knew that we were… together, and we weren’t hired by the same hospital. So people would have wondered how it would have been possible for him to even get a look at my paper, much less steal it.”
Something furious had started boiling inside Thorin. He was enraged that someone Bilbo trusted enough to let into his life would do something like that. It made him want to hit something. Or someone, if only that bastard had been around.
“I-“ Bilbo let out a deep breath. “Stupid as I was, I ended up forgiving him. His explanation, well, never mind. But then I found out that I wasn’t the only one he’d been ‘borrowing’ from.”
A horrible realisation had begun to tickle at the back of Thorin’s head.
Bilbo’s last paper had been published about three years ago. About two years ago there had been a huge scandal when a fairly well-known doctor had ended up being exposed as a fraud after it’d been revealed that he’d not only plagiarized the bulk of his published work, he’d also gotten his current teaching position because he’d faked parts of his CV. It was the only case Thorin knew about within the last few years.
“Was it Smaug?” Thorin asked in a half growl, wanting it not to be true. The idea of that snake even being in the same room as Bilbo…
Bilbo nodded and dropped his gaze down to his plate, before looking back up at Thorin.
“But you weren't mentioned as one of the people that he had stolen papers and material from,” Thorin said, realising right away that it almost sounded like an accusation, but with the sudden fury coursing through him didn’t particularly care. Why hadn’t Bilbo reported him?
Erebor hadn't really been touched by it, but it had been a big enough scandal and court case that even the national newspapers had noticed and if Bilbo had been mentioned as one of the aggrieved Thorin would remember. He would. Not only had his sister followed the case religiously, but Thorin hated people like Smaug, like Azog, who pretended to be doctors, pretended people whose jobs it was to take care of people, but in reality they were only interested in themselves. And they didn’t care about who got hurt as long as they got out on top. Someone had to care about those people, and he would have thought that Bilbo would be interested in making sure that the people who didn't got what they deserved.
“No, I was not,” Bilbo said levelly, meeting Thorin’s eyes.
“You never reported him?”
“No, I did not. Because I-“
But Thorin rather thought that he already knew what Bilbo was going to say.
“Because he was your… your partner,” Thorin said, because he would not call that sad excuse for a man Bilbo’s lover. “I didn't take you for someone who'd help cover for someone else's crimes.”
Immediately after he’d finished speaking Thorin knew that he’d gone too far. He knew it even before Bilbo’s gaze turned stony. Thorin desperately wanted to look away, but couldn’t.
“I'm someone who believes in second chances,” Bilbo said in a much too soft tone for the steel Thorin could hear behind the words. “And as I said, at first I didn't know that I wasn't the only one. I thought that the choice was mine to make. But if it would interest you, I later reported him for attempted assault. After that it seemed almost petty to also report intellectual theft.”
Bilbo chuckled and the sound was completely without humour.
“Two tips, Doctor Oakenshield,” he continued, and Thorin’s eyes widened at the sudden use of his title. “When you are breaking up with someone, and telling them that- well, it doesn’t matter, but try not to laugh at them when they ask you to reconsider. They might take it personally. And don't presume to think you know everything. “
With that Bilbo rose from the table and left Thorin secure in the knowledge that he’d completely fucked up.
-
The really sad thing was that some part of Bilbo wasn’t even particularly surprised. Of course it wouldn’t last, but he had been hoping that it would last a little longer. And he hadn’t really expected that Smaug would have been the beginning of the end.
And, he hadn’t expected that it would hurt quite so much.
Oh, he was furious, but it still hurt. What gave Thorin the right? How could he think that he could judge Bilbo without even knowing the whole story, pathetic as it might be.
When Bilbo had confronted Smaug about the extreme similarities between ‘his’ paper and the one Bilbo was still putting the finishing touches on, Smaug had claimed that he’d known it was wrong, but that he was just worried about getting fired unless he could prove himself to the hospital’s board of directors. He’d explained how he hadn’t been able to find the time to make his own research because the administrator at the hospital hated him and kept screwing with his schedule.
In hindsight, oh lovely 20/20 hindsight, Smaug had always been a little too good at convincing Bilbo to do what he wanted.
They had been together for about six months when Bilbo had stumbled over the journal with his paper, but they didn’t live together, and no one even knew that they were dating. Neither of those two thing was something Bilbo had asked for.
Smaug had told Bilbo that he didn’t want to share him, and that it made sense that they’d keep living apart as they did work in different cities. And Bilbo, however pathetic it was to admit it, had been convinced by a seemingly sincere look in amber eyes, and lovely lies told in a deep purring voice, so he had ended up agreeing.
Smaug’s voice was literally the first thing Bilbo had noticed about him. They’d been at the same conference, and Bilbo had gotten shivers down his spine as Smaug had talked about stem-cell research .Again, in hindsight, that probably hadn’t been one of Smaug’s original works either. And wasn’t it funny how the only thing Thorin and Smaug really had in common was beautiful voices? Other than that they were not really similar in any way Bilbo could think about, at the moment they didn’t even have a medical degree in common as Smaug’s had been stripped of his.
They were both self-righteous bastards, the part of him that was still angry at Thorin pointed out. But that part was quickly starting to lose steam.
As Bilbo had left the restaurant, he’d looked back at their table, and Thorin had looked… he’d looked stricken. He hadn’t known that Bilbo was looking at him, but he’d still looked miserable. So maybe he understood that what he’d said was wrong, even if it now had been hours and Bilbo hadn’t received as much as a text from him.
He wasn’t going to call Thorin. Not when it was Thorin who had screwed up. He wasn’t going to put himself in that position again. Not even if it meant giving up what they had been in the beginning of. If Thorin wouldn't apologize on his own, then... then he wasn't who Bilbo had believed him to be.
They had both been at work when Bilbo had confronted Smaug about the theft. He would have waited to call, but he’d just been so upset. He hadn’t even been angry, he just hadn’t understood. So stupid…
Again, in hindsight it was all so obvious. Smaug’s first thought hadn’t been to apologise. Instead he had gotten Bilbo to promise that he’d not tell anyone until they could talk properly, face to face, suggesting that they would wait until the weekend, when they’d planned to meet anyway.
That, Bilbo had not agreed to, and he’d made Smaug promise to get in his car and make the two hour drive as soon as he got off from work.
The conversation that took place in Bilbo’s apartment had not been fun. Smaug had been so regretful and apologetic and full of excuses and Bilbo had wanted to believe him so badly, and at the end he had forgiven Smaug because he'd needed to believe that what he was hearing was true.
Things still hadn’t gone back to normal after that. Bilbo still felt betrayed, and also absurdly guilty about feeling that way. Smaug had literally gone down on his knees and begged for forgiveness, and Bilbo had forgotten that this was the same man that hadn’t even wanted to have this talk before the weekend.
They hadn’t broken up, but at Bilbo’s request they had cooled things down a little. Smaug had seemed genuinely regretful, promising that it would never happen again, and Bilbo had believed him. In a way, he still did, only know he’d realised that they hadn’t been talking about the same thing.
About a month after the confrontation came the revelation; the very public revelation, that Bilbo’s paper wasn’t the only one that had morphed into something bylined with Smaug’s name. He’d been able to get away with it for so long by only taking material from students or other people who didn’t dare oppose him, but in the end he’d ended up stealing from the wrong person, and the house of cards crashed down.
This time when Bilbo confronted him, showing up unannounced at Smaug’s home, Smaug hadn’t even appeared guilty at first, not until he’d realised that Bilbo was genuinely upset even though it hadn’t been his papers this time. But once Smaug realised that… Oh dear gods… Bilbo wasn’t sure if that made things better or just a hundred times worse that Smaug had been willing to act regretful just to try and keep Bilbo with him.
Though the worst part was probably that it’d taken Bilbo so long to realise just what his lover was capable of. It had made him feel numb. What had been real? Any of it?
Smaug had taken his hand and again begged for forgiveness. But this time Bilbo had not been able to give it to him, so instead he’d said that he couldn’t be with someone he didn’t even seemed to know.
“But I love you,” Smaug had said, and oh, maybe this was the worst part, because Bilbo thought that what Smaug had been saying had been the actual truth. He still did. Even if hindsight had made him question just how much love could be warped by possessiveness and a need to own, before it was irreparably twisted into something else. “And you love me.”
“I don’t even know you,” Bilbo had repeated, pulling his hand away.
“You do,” Smaug had persisted, and Bilbo, Bilbo had laughed. And laughed and laughed.
If there was something Smaug hated, it was being laughed at. But Bilbo had been unable to stop, because everything had been so fucked up that he either had to laugh about it or he’d start to cry.
However when Smaug hit him, he’d stopped laughing.
When Bilbo; hand raised to his cheek and eyes opened wide in what felt more like sheer bewilderment than shock, had looked at Smaug, he hadn’t seen guilt, or shock, or regret, or anything like that. For the first few moments he’d seen satisfaction. Then the guilt, feigned or not, had flooded in. But by then it was far, far too late.
When he’d started moving towards the door Smaug had caught his arm, tried to embrace him, kiss him, but Bilbo had slipped out of his grip. When he wouldn’t stop to listen to any explanations Smaug had tried to hit him again, but this time Bilbo had just ducked and managed to get to the door without Smaug managing to grab him. He hadn't followed him, and Bilbo hadn't even been afraid, not really, just... numb.
He’d seen Smaug once after that. During the trial. That was…almost two years ago. And it still hurt to think about it. Thorin was the only one he’d dated since then. Which was probably for the best going by the current state of things.
Bilbo flinched when the oven timer signalled that the cupcakes were done.
Fine, Esme might have a point about him baking when he was upset. Good for her.
-
Thorin hesitated before pressing the Call-button on his phone. Maybe he should wait, call Bilbo tomorrow, and… what? Hope to come up with a better excuse then ‘sorry for being a complete arsehole, I understand if you never want to see me again, but I am so sorry’?
He was pathetic. He was also standing outside Bilbo’s apartment building. The second fact might be connected to the first considering that Thorin still didn't know if he was going to make the call.
He’d managed to cajole Bilbo's address from Nori.
Thorin didn’t know how Nori could look up addresses even though he wasn’t at the hospital, and at the moment he didn’t care, nor did he care about what favours Nori would demand in repayment. He needed to speak to Bilbo, but he didn’t know if Bilbo would want to speak with him, and frankly Thorin had caused enough harm for one night. Still...
Scrounging up all his courage Thorin pressed the green icon. He didn’t know what to say, but even telling Bilbo that: ‘oh, the reason I was being such a bastard might be because I just realised that the thought of you loving someone ,who is not me, enough to lie for them makes me feel like I want to let Azog operate on me as that would hurt less’ would be better than just letting him think that he didn’t care at all.
-
When his phone rang Bilbo first thought that it was the timer again. Then he scrambled across the kitchen to reach it before the other person would hang up.
It was Thorin.
“Hello,” Bilbo said guardedly, not wanting to hear excuses while at the same time desperate for them. Gods, he was so tragic.
“Bilbo,” Thorin said, his voice low. “I understand if you don’t want to see me, but if-“ he paused. “I’m standing outside the door to your apartment building. And I’m a wretched excuse for a human being, but- could I see you?”
“I’ll, I’ll unlock the door,” Bilbo said, hanging up before he could say something else, not knowing if should just have said no.
He slowly walked to the hall and pressed the button to open the front door, then he waited.
-
Thorin didn’t know which floor Bilbo lived on, but on the wall just inside the hallway he found a neat plaque with all the residents. B. Baggins, 2nd floor.
He chose the staircase over the elevator, not really knowing why. Maybe to buy himself a little more time. But all of a sudden he was standing outside Bilbo’s door, and before he could ring the doorbell, the door opened and he could see Bilbo, and… smell cupcakes?
-
“Come in,” Bilbo said, stepping aside to let the other man pass. Thorin entered silently, and Bilbo closed the door behind him.
When he turned, Thorin’s blue eyes was looking straight at him, and Bilbo took a steadying breath. He could do this. Whatever this was.
“I might have been jealous,” Thorin said abruptly. “That you didn’t report him.” And Bilbo’s mouth fell open in disbelief.
“You’d want me to let you steal my papers and research?”
Thorin looked horrified. “No, of course not. But, I thought that- argh.” He ran a hand over his face and took a step closer to Bilbo before stopping and backing away again. “If you would be willing to keep something like that hidden. If you'd be willing to do that for someone, you must really have… loved him. And- to have that person abuse that … It made me so angry. I know it’s not an excuse. And I definitely shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” Thorin looked away. “I am so sorry.” He raised his head to meet Bilbo’s gaze. “I won’t ask for your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it, but I am truly sorry.”
Bilbo didn’t know what to say, and when he remained quiet Thorin’s shoulders slumped. “I- I just wanted you to know. I’ll go now.”
“Wait,” Bilbo said, reaching up to touch Thorin’s shoulder as he moved to open the door. “I don’t want things to end like this. I don’t want a mistake I made years ago-“
“Nothing about that was your fault,” Thorin said fiercely, and Bilbo shook his head.
“I could have reported him right away after I realised that he’d stolen my paper, and I didn’t.”
“Because you are a good person,” Thorin growled. “Far too good for the likes of Smaug. Or, me,” he added, all anger gone from his voice. “I- when he- what did he-“
“He slapped me, and only the once,” Bilbo said, realising what Thorin was trying to ask. He tried to smile, in an attempt to ease the tension the slightest bit. “And as I said, it taught me to avoid inappropriate laughing.”
“It wasn’t because of something that you did that he hit you,” Thorin said darkly, clearly not enjoying Bilbo’s stab at levity. “It was something he chose to do. Something he chose to be. You have to know that.”
At a loss for anything to said Bilbo merely shrugged, then nodded. Because he knew, he knew that if it hadn’t been the laughter it might have ended up being something else. He hadn't figured it out until much later, but he'd figured it out.
“You said… that you do not want things to end like this,” Thorin said after a few moments of silence from them both, his tone uncharacteristically hesitant. “I don’t want this to end like this either. I-“ He sighed. “I don’t want this to end. But I understand if you want it to.”
“I don’t,” Bilbo said thickly. “But you can’t do that again, you can’t think that you understand something without even listening to what I am saying. It’s not how things are supposed to work. I don’t care that you’re not supposed to talk about these things on the second date. You can’t do that again.”
“I will not. I swear I won't. Do you mean,” Thorin slowly reached out to touch his fingers to the back of Bilbo’s hand. “That you will give me another chance?”
“I said I believed in second chances, didn’t I,” Bilbo smiled, and he could see on Thorin’s face how wobbly it must have looked.
“You are incredible." Thorin gently lifted his other hand to brush back a curl that wanted to flopp in Bilbo's eyes and Bilbo sniffed.
“I’m in love with a judgemental idiot, what’s so incredible about that?”
The blue of Thorin’s eyes seemed even more vivid when they were open wide in shock. For a few seconds neither of them moved. Then the hand touching Bilbo’s slowly slid down to hold it properly, twining their fingers together.
“Everything,” Thorin breathed.