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baze stared at the ceiling of chirrut’s (and formerly his, now, maybe his again?) tiny sitting room. he lay across the couch with a threadbare blanket. to be fair, chirrut had offered him a second one, but he’d refused. all three nights he’d spent back home on jedha were spent in this way. tossing and turning for hours and only managing a few restless hours of sleep.
he could hear chirrut snoring in his bedroom. baze wondered how chirrut would react if he went to sleep in their bed-no, it was only chirrut’s bed now. that was his own fault. five years, he’d been gone. he’d left without a word a few months after the destruction of the temple. of the guardians. of his own faith in the force. he was lucky that chirrut had even welcomed him at all, let alone allow him to stay with him. somehow, hearing his snoring in the next room made baze miss chirrut more than he ever had during the years he’d been gone.
in his three days, he’d learned chirrut’s new routine. he did not ask any questions, for he felt-no, he knew that it was no longer his right to question. chirrut woke up, baze trailed him to the market. he expected him to buy something, to make small talk with the merchants. instead, he silently found a corner of the market, and sold fortunes to pilgrims, tourists, and citizens of the city alike. he told them their ‘futures’ with a smile, but the fake smile he used to use on the masters he didn’t particularly like. the one that didn’t reach his eyes, or show his gums. before the sun set, he took what little money he’d made (so little, no one here had any more money than chirrut and baze themselves did), and buy one loaf of bread. baze followed him back home. there, dinner was a quiet affair. chirrut spoke as much as he always had, but baze knew it was just habit. chirrut could not possibly want him there, want him to stay after what had happened. he replied only when he needed to, and only spoke to say that he’d clean up. chirrut made a strange face at him then, one that baze did not, or did not want, to recognize.
“baze,” chirrut’s voice broke baze’s thoughts and his head snapped to look at him in the doorway. he’d been so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice chirrut’s snoring stop, nor the shuffle of footsteps to the sitting room. “come to bed.”
baze blinked, and then shook his head. “no,” he said, “i-” chirrut interrupted him with a very put upon sigh. he readjusted the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders. the dim light made bags visible under his sightless eyes.
“i can hear your tossing from the bedroom, just come.” and with that he turned around, blanket whirling behind him in a way that reminded baze of his robes, and went back to bed. baze stood motionless for a moment, weighing his options. then he followed after him.
the bedroom looked just the same as it had when he’d left. even the quilt, the one baze’s mother had sent them as a wedding gift, remained. chirrut was already laying down, but he was not asleep. “well?” he said, “lay down.” baze obeyed wordlessly. he made sure to stay as far to one side of the bed as he could, not touching chirrut.
“i-” his throat caught around his sentence and he tried again, “i’ll be out of your hair within the week. i just-” chirrut made an angry noise.
“why do you think i want you to leave again?” he demanded. “do you think i would have let you come home if i did not want you here?” he reached out towards baze, grabbed the first thing his hand touched, which was his nightshirt. he used it to yank baze towards him, and then placed his other hand on his face. “i’m not angry. well, i am a little bit. but i love you, i promised you a lifetime together, didn’t i?”
baze felt shocked. then, he felt his own face crumple a bit. “i broke that promise when i left you.” he shook his head, “it was stupid of me, i wish i’d never gone. i’m sorry.”
chirrut smiled at him, a real smile now. “i forgave you as soon as i saw-” baze snorted quietly, chirrut smacked him lightly, “-as soon as i saw you in the market the day you returned.”
baze kissed him, then. softly, on the cheek, and then on the mouth. he felt chirrut still smiling into their kiss, and he could not help smiling, too.
chirrut pulled back to yawn. “now, i’d really like to sleep.” he sunk back down into the covers, and baze followed.
when baze woke, he was wrapped around his husband. one arm over his waist, one pillowed under his head. he pressed himself closer, kissed the place behind his ear he remembered from mornings like this, long ago. chirrut stirred with a groan, trying to turn over, and baze smiled. he was home at last.