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Simon
I awake with a jolt. The image of the Insidious Humdrum standing in front of me, Penelope and Agatha laying dead by his side still clear in my mind.
My heart is racing and there is cold sweat clinging to my body. Ragged breaths are being ripped from my lungs and I try to calm down by inhaling through my nose, holding my breath for a bit and then exhaling again.
I repeat this pattern until my breathing has calmed down enough to feel normal again. Closing my eyes I drag a hand over my face.
I hate having nightmares. All too often they are about the Humdrum and even more often they are about the people close to me dying and me not being able to save them.
They always leave me feeling terrified. What if that would be my reality one day? Me not being able to safe my friends?
Before my thoughts spiral any more downward into this negative direction I decide to rather try going back to sleep. However the moment I turn onto my other side and close my eyes again a very clear call of my name sounded through the dark room.
“Simon!”
I startle. Baz never calls me by my first name. More importantly did I make so much noise in my sleep that I woke him up?
“What is it Baz?” I ask. “Simon” is all he says, no rather sighs again.
I squint and try to see him in the darkness of our room. I'm lucky that the moon is shining brightly this night so I'm able to make out his expression, his very relaxed expression.
Is he asleep? But then why did he call my name? Is he dreaming?
A giggle from Baz side of the room rips me out of my thoughts, because Baz might do a lot, smirk, laugh sarcastically, laugh in a cruel way, laugh about your failures, about you almost tripping down some stairs, but Tyrannus Basiliton Grimm Pitch does not giggle.
“He he Simon stop that tickles.” What the hell? What in the name of Merlin is this guy dreaming about?
“Simonnn.” Baz whines out in a way that makes him sound like a pouting five year old. And is that? Is he actually smiling?
Before I can wonder any further about whatever the hell he is dreaming about he says something else that makes my heart skip a beat and my breath hitch in my throat.
“I love you Simon, I love you so much.”
Baz
I'm pretty positive I'm dreaming, because this could in no way be reality.
I chase after Simon on the big lawn and keep calling his name. “Simon!” I call over and over again.
He finally lets me catch up to him and swipes me into a hug, pressing his nose into my neck, his breath washing over the part where my neck meets my shoulder. “He he Simon that tickles.” I say.
He just presses his nose even closer to my neck and exhales harshly. I whine out his name in response.
I don't care that I'm behaving like a teenage girl in one of those cheesy romance movies. Not when I have Simon Snow in my arms, my golden boy.
Finally he looks up to me and kisses me on the mouth, softly carding his fingers through my hair.
When we break apart I take his face into my hands and stare deeply into these shining blue eyes and let myself say something I would never allow to slip past my lips if I was awake.
“I love you Simon, I love you so much.”
Simon
I couldn't look Baz into the eyes all morning. Currently I'm eating breakfast with Penny and try to drown my confusion in sour cherry scones. Yesterday he just had some weird dream, I get that, but still hearing him say that he loves me still sets me off a bit.
Mostly I'm confused about how I should handle this situation, but Baz doesn't act any different to how he usually acts.
He still sneered at me this morning for making to much noise and almost killed me for leaving the bloody window open.
I don't want to talk to him about what he said in his sleep either, he would probably end me for real. Or much more possible, would just refuse to believe me and I would make a fool of myself. Nope, don't wanna do that, he already thinks of me as dumb enough.
I sigh and Penny raises an eyebrow at me but I just shrug and go back to eating my beloved scones.
Well it probably was a one time thing, so I shouldn't worry to much about it.
I was so wrong.
It's the seventh night in a row now that Baz is talking in his sleep. The seventh night in a row he proclaimed his love to me.
And that's not the only thing he said in his sleep, ohhh no by far not the only thing.
Just to list a few other things: “Simon you are the center of my universe.”, or “I want to protect you from everything that could ever hurt you.”, or “You are the most beautiful person I have ever met.”, or “No idiot I'm just trying to make you jealous, I'm not actually flirting with Wellbelove.”
I had snorted when he had said the last one. As if. Baz had been after Agatha ever since I started going out with her, the git.
But I have to admit something. It's actually nice hearing Baz say those things. During the day he's his usual mean and angry self, but during the night when he talks about me in his sleep he sounds so sincere, so friendly.
Right now he's blabbering about the fact that my hair is so soft he wants to touch it forever. I can't really help the smile creeping onto my face. I actually like that.
Baz
Not that it's enough that Simon is already taking in most of my thoughts during the day he has to apparently also get all of my attention while I'm asleep.
I keep having dreams of him, wonderful, beautiful, sweet dreams that tear my heart apart piece by undead piece because I know I can never have that. That world in that Simon Snow loves me as much as I love him.
Speaking of Snow. I turn around in my chair ever so slightly just so I can sneer at him across the classroom.
He kept staring at me these past days, probably thinks I'm plotting his downfall again, the bloody idiot.
A slight fear that I said anything out loud that I dreamt about creeps into my mind, but I push it away again. There's no way Snow wouldn't have asked me about it if I had said anything out loud. It was a ton of cheesy shit after all and he would never let a chance slide to show me he has something he can use against me. Idiot, he can use his entire fucking existence against me, he just doesn't know.
This night my dream is different.
There is no light and warm atmosphere like there usually is, instead everything feels cold and uncomfortable.
I'm standing on the lawn in front of the Wavering Wood that's looming in front of me. I can hear sounds of a fight from somewhere inside the forest but I can't tell who is fighting in there.
Suddenly though an all to familiar figure comes stumbling out of the forest, clutching his side, blood all over him.
Simon.
I break out in a sprint. My lungs and legs quickly start to feel like they are burning but I ignore it.
Just in time I am by Simon's side before he collapses and I catch him before he can hit the ground.
“Baz.” he gasps. “Baz.”
“Shh shh it's alright love I'm here.” I say and take the hand that isn't still clutching his side into mine and press it to my cheek.
There's blood all over it, but I don't care. All I care about is that Simon is hurt and even worse, that he seems to be dying.
I can't help the tears that start to run down my cheeks. “Simon, who did this?” I ask while I gently place his hand back onto his stomach and reach for my wand in my back pocket. It isn't there.
“Humdrum.” is all he get's out before he starts to cough up blood.
“Shit Simon we need to get you to a doctor.” I can't let him die, I can't lose him.
“'ts to late Baz.” he slurs. “I can't keep fighting anymore.” He reaches up and cups my cheek with his hand again, brushing away some of my tears.
“I love you Baz.” he says and then his hand slips down from my cheek and his eyes get glassy and Simon Snow dies in my arms.
I can't do anything else. I scream. I scream and cry and keep repeating his name over and over again.
And then there is something that tears at the corner of my consciousness and suddenly Simon is in front of me, alive and well, gripping my shoulders, his worried face dimly lit by the bedside lamp.
And all I can do is reach up to him and pull him into a hug, because he is alive and breathing and I can't help myself.
Simon
I awake from a scream ripping through the air.
I'm out of bed in a second, my hand hovering over my hip, ready to summon my sword, before I notice that Baz is the one screaming.
“SIMON, SIMON NO, SIMON!”
I'm in front of his bed in two strides and click on his bedside lamp.
“Baz!” No reaction.
“Baz!” I try again. Again no reaction.
It can't be helped.
I grip his shoulders and shake him. “Baz!”
And all of a sudden his grey eyes fly open, a panic and pain in them I have never seen before and before I can even comprehend what's going on Baz has me in a rip-crushing hug.
He's shaking like a leaf and he's crying into my shoulder and I really have no idea what exactly I should do. I have never seen him like this before.
“Shh it's alright I'm here.” I say and attempt to pat his head in a comforting manner. His grip on me just get's stronger
Suddenly though he seems to become aware of the situation and shoves me away from him, scrambling to sit up, his legs drawn up against his body, his breathing still ragged.
“Shit I'm not dreaming anymore am I?”he aks.
I just shake my head. If anything he looks even more terrified now.
“Why are you even awake Snow?” he asks, arching up an eyebrow at me, attempting to look like he is calm again but frankly failing at it, his breathing gives him away and he is still shaking a little.
“You screamed.” Is all I say.
“Oh did I?”
“Yeah.” I swallow around the lump that is suddenly in my throat “And that-that was not the first time you well-talked in your sleep.”
His eyes widen, he looks horrified. So he remembers the dreams after all.
“Uhm Baz, is all that stuff that you said in your dreams true? That you want to protect me? That you think I'm beautiful? That you don't want to fight anymore? That you-that you love me?”
He isn't looking me in the eyes. I have never seen him look so defeated before.
Inhaling sharply he lifts his gaze to mine again. For a moment I think he's just gonna attack me but then he opens his mouth.
“Yes it's true.” he breaths. “All of it is true, I love you Simon Snow.”
Baz
“Yes it's true.” I tell him. “All of it is true, I love you Simon Snow.”
There, it's out, it feels like something has been ripped from my chest but at the same time it also feels like there is a weight being taken away from my shoulders.
I sigh, avoiding Simon's eyes again, I can't look at him right now, I don't want to see the disgust in his eyes.
“Go ahead, laugh at me, get angry at me, tell the entirety of Watford that I'm gay, I don't care.”
“Baz.”
I really don't want to look at him, so I refuse to and keep talking.
“You probably hate me even more now. Look Snow this doesn't have to make things weird, I will just avoid you, you don't have to worry I won't try anything. So if you're willing to we could even forget about this entire thing and-”
Suddenly Simon grabs my chin and turns me towards him, I brace for a punch and close my eyes.
And then he kisses me.
I blink my eyes open in surprise. What? What is happening?
Before I can question why Simon Snow is kissing me any further he nods my chin against me and deepens the kiss and all rational thought vanishes from my mind.
Fuck it I decide and grab his beautiful curly locks, bringing his face closer to mine and kiss him back.
I don't know for how long we kiss exactly. All I know is Simon's lips are softer then I expected and my name sounds beautiful when he breaths it out between kisses.
When we stop he rests his forehead against mine and takes my hand in his, pressing a soft kiss to it and then continuing to hold it.
“What was your dream about?” Really, that's what he wants to talk about after we just kissed?
I sigh. “You where badly hurt from a fight with the Humdrum.” I grip his fingers a little tighter. “And then-then you died in my arms.”
I don't trust myself to talk any further without my voice breaking even more so I just shut my mouth.
“Oh.” he says and then he chuckles “Don't worry you won't get rid of my that easily.”
I roll my eyes at him playfully. “Oh no and here I was thinking I would get rid of you quickly.”
Simon lightly punches me into the shoulder but he's smiling.
“But so you like-really love me? That part's really true?”
I withstand the desire to roll my eyes again. “Yes Simon, I love you, you infuriating git.”
“Good, because I think I love you to, you bloody idiot.”
This time it's me who kisses him first.