Chapter Text
Kihyun sits in the back of the practice room, doing his best not to draw attention to himself as he always does. An inordinate amount of sweat drips from his face and neck, and he leans against the wall behind him in an effort to catch his breath. Hyunwoo glances over at him wearily, a silent question of concern in his eyes. Kihyun merely gives him a small wave, telling him he’s alright. The older’s eyes hover on him for a moment longer, but then return to the mirror in front of him to continue working on the choreography.
He wipes at his face with a towel and downs nearly a whole bottle of water as he tries to relax. He blinks the sweat from his eyes, and resigns to taking a moment to himself before returning to learning the new moves. He absentmindedly begins to take his pulse, his eyes widening slightly at how quickly his heart is beating.
No, he thinks, dread beginning to enter his mind, it’s too soon. I’m only in my twenties, for God’s sake. A normal human life lasts about eighty years. I’ve still got so much time.
Kihyun shakes his head at himself.
It hasn’t started, he silently insists. If it started, I’ve be having the dreams. But, that hasn’t happened, so I’m fine. Everything is fine.
He then forces himself to stand, wishing to abandon such thoughts and focus on the routine.
That night at the dorm, Kihyun stands over the hot stove as he prepares dinner for everyone. It’s nothing special, just a stew to help the others combat the cold weather. The other members hang out in the living room as he works. He can hear Jooheon and Minhyuk bickering over what they should watch that night after eating, and Changkyun making puns with the titles being suggested to help keep the mood light. Kihyun smiles at the sounds of home, thinking this to be the best rebirth he’s ever been given.
“Kihyun-ah,” Hyunwoo’s gentle voice mumbles in his ear, surprising him slightly. An all-too familiar pair of arms wraps around the vocalist’s waist, and begins to sway them in place. “Are you feeling alright? You’ve been pretty quiet since practice.” Kihyun hums contentedly, loving the older’s concern for him.
“I’m fine, hyung,” he answers easily, despite the feeling that he’s lying to him. “I’m just a little tired.” Hyunwoo hums in acknowledgment, nuzzling his head into the crook of Kihyun’s neck like a cuddly kitten.
“You feel warm, Kihyunnie,” he continues. “Are you sure you don’t have a fever?”
“Ew,” Minhyuk’s boisterous tone suddenly teases behind them. “Guys, Appa and Eomma are being all love-dovey right by the food! Again!” Hyunwoo and Kihyun share a chuckle at the typical comment, Hyunwoo breaking away. Kihyun is partly relieved that he doesn’t have to answer his boyfriend’s last question, but also sad at the sudden separation.
The group eats dinner around the table, joking around and doing their best to distract themselves from their own exhaustion. The settle on the couch in the living room afterwards, Kihyun staying behind to do the dishes. He finishes up, and then makes a beeline for his bedroom. He’d love nothing more than to watch the movie chosen earlier by the others, but he’s way too tired from their busy schedules lately to even fathom staying up much later.
Kihyun enters the room he shares with Minhyuk, Jooheon, and Changkyun, and strips his clothes. Hearing the door to the bedroom open, he turns with a questioning glance.
“Kihyun-ah?” Hyunwoo’s concerned voice asks. He pokes his head into the room, blushing slightly at seeing the younger in nothing but his boxers. “You’re not watching the movie with us?”
“I’m just going to turn in,” Kihyun answers. He moves towards the older, and places a soft kiss on Hyunwoo’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hyunwoo gives him a gentle, Buddha-like smile.
“Take your temperature before you go to sleep,” he tells him. “You feel really warm.” Kihyun nods, telling him that he’ll do that, and Hyunwoo kisses his forehead before removing his head from the doorway.
Kihyun begins to climb up to his top bunk with a sigh, but pauses. He glances over at the thermometer sitting on the bedside table from the last time Changkyun had caught a cold. Dread fills him at sighting the simple item, dread that reminds him that he isn’t a simple human. Simple humans weren’t deathly terrified of taking their own temperature.
He sucks an exasperated sigh in through his teeth, shaking his head at himself. He moves to pick up the thermometer, only hesitating a moment more before popping it under his tongue. He waits until it beeps, telling himself that it’ll be okay. This’ll only serve to set his mind at ease, to prove that the process hasn’t begun yet. He finds himself much less nervous as it finally signifies that it’s finished, pulling it far enough away to read the numbers.
His stomach falls to his feet, despair filling him in an instant. Triple digits blink up at him on the digitized screen, unwittingly signifying the near end for the young vocalist.
He pushes these thoughts aside, turning off the thermometer and setting it back on the bedside table. Maybe it was just because of the hot soup he had eaten during dinner. Yeah, that could definitely be the case. There’s no need to freak out yet.
Kihyun sighs, moving to climb the ladder up to his bunk. He lies down atop the covers, not really feeling the need to use them tonight.
He finds himself praying to whoever may be listening for his fears to be wrong. He should still have so much time. The process is only supposed to begin when he nears the end of the typical lifespan of whatever being he’s reborn as. That’s how it’s always been. Why must it change now? Is it because he’s found something worth living for? Could it all be due to the fact that he’s actually doing something with this life, instead of just living everyday cooped up inside a house?
Why should this life be cut short? Why is this one in particular different?
Could it be because, for the first time, he’s actually found someone to love, someone to live for?