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"I'm sorry, Tony, I can't cancel this. We'll make plans some other week." Howard said, not meeting his sons eyes as he picked up his bag.
He was going on another expedition to the artic to search for Captain America. Howard had promised that he would cancel this expedition in order to spend time with his son and Tony had been thrilled about it. Howard hadn't been around much and the thought of him cancelling an expedition just for Tony made him think that, finally, his dad wanted to spend time with him. But, alas, he had been wrong. Tony could feel his Aunt Peggy's disapproving glare at Howard from behind him, more in tune with Tony's emotions than Howard could ever hope to be.
"Yeah, Dad. It's fine…some other time." Tony nodded, praying that his voice was steady.
"I'll be back in two months. We'll do something then." Howard replied, taking a step towards him.
Two months. The words hit Tony like a ton of bricks, the air leaving his body in a rush. His father would never remember this promise, he'd come back from the expedition as he comes back from all of them. Angry, drunk, and bitter.
"Bye, Howard." Tony spat.
Howard physically recoiled, looking as if he had just been struck. He swallowed, lowered his head, and made his exit. The cracks in his and Tony's relationship had just been torn apart, never to be repaired.
"Are you okay?" Peggy asked after the silence had engulfed them for too long.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Tony asks with an air of casualness as he turns to face his godmother, "This way I can focus more on my project from MIT, maybe visit Rhodey like he asked me to…do my own thing y'know."
"It's alright to be upset, honey." Peggy replied, her voice quiet and reassuring.
"I'm not upset. At least he explained to me where he's going this time instead of just leaving. I just wish…I wish I hadn't of gotten my hopes up about all this. I thought that this was gonna be an opportunity to make him proud…proud of me for once." Tony admitted, his tone subdued with an undertone of anger.
"If there's anything I can do-" Peggy began, her eyes reflecting tears in the light of the room.
"You've done everything for me, Aunt Pegs. It's not I'm five years old where I'm crying in my bed because 'Why didn't Daddy see me on my birthday?' I didn't need him then and I don't need him now. I put that circuit board together by myself. I built that engine by myself. I got into MIT for gods sake! I did that all by myself! And I did good, didn't I?" Tony declared, yet still seeking confirmation from his aunt at the end.
"You've done brilliantly, honey." Peggy smiled cautiously because she was proud, goddamnit, her godson was amazing.
Tony began pacing now, picking up speed with his emotional rant as he raked his hand through his hair, his eyes madly flitting around the room as he tried to keep the tears in.
"He wasn't there when I learnt to walk! You were, and so was Mom, Jarvis and Ana. He didn't teach me how to ride a bike, 'cause that was you, Aunt Pegs. Remember that? Up and down your street all day. You taught me how to fight, Jarvis taught me how to swim, Ana taught me how to bake, Mom taught me how to play piano. What did he teach me? Huh? Nothing. He's done nothing for me. He's too caught up in his damn fantasy of finding Captain fucking America!" He yelled at the door Howard had exited from, his face red and dripping with tears.
"I didn't need him when I was little, I don't need him now, and I won't need his pathetic ass in the future." He told her, eyes shining with determination and hurt.
"Tony…sweetheart…"
"You know what I'm gonna do, Aunt Peggy? I'm gonna graduate from MIT and I'm gonna graduate with results that Howard could only dream of achieving. I'm gonna get a good job whilst he still runs SI and I'm gonna save up from a decent apartment and a car. Hell, maybe one day I'll find someone nice, get married and have a bunch of kids. And you know what? I'll be a better dad than he ever was. And he won't matter any more because there won't be a single fucking thing that he'd be able to teach me about loving my kids!" He practically screamed, his throat aching.
The house was silent apart from Tony's ragged breath, his chest rising up and down.
"Why doesn't he love me, Aunt Peggy?" Tony choked, tears dripping off of his face and onto the rug below his feet.
That seemed to be all Peggy could take. She rushed forward and pulled the vulnerable boy by his shoulders as close as she could, desperate to show him comfort and love. Tony reached out and grabbed her, pushing his face into her neck and he sobbed. Harsh, ugly sobbed that shook his whole body as Peggy grasped to keep him close. How had Howard allowed this to happen? If she could get her hands on him now…
Feeling Tony's exhaustion, she guided them towards the couch, not one letting go. He cried his eyes out until the sobs died down into small whimpers until he eventually dropped off. She gently guided the teens head to her lap, running her perfectly polished nails through his unkept hair.
"He gonna be okay?" Came the voice of her husband, Daniel Sousa, from the doorway he was leaning against, looking at the young boy in concern.
Then, for the first time in her life, Agent Margaret 'Peggy' Carter, formerly of the Strategic Scientific Reserve and now Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, a woman feared and respected across the globe, looked down at her lap, bit her crimson lip, and looked back at Daniel, lost.
"I don't know." She admitted.