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Ray reminded Michael of amber; it was an all encompassing color that was softer than cotton and sweeter than honey. It was the first color that Michael could remember loving as much as he did. It had been the color of the envelope the city sent his dead-beat father when the divorce papers had finally gone through and the color of the paper informing his mother that his dead-beat father wasn’t getting a cent of their money. It was a good color and an even better color to remind him of his second boyfriend-now partner.
It was the color of salvation for Michael. Though, now Michael had a lot of colors of salvation; like a really piss-drunk, fucked up rainbow. Ray was his first, the bottom color and closest to his heart even though he love them all in their own way.
Geoff was a blunted gray, like that of the navy vessels of the American army. It seemed like such a horrible color but Michael saw its beauty. It hid absolutely nothing and Geoff was rarely anything but honest in a way that made most people flinch .He wasn’t one for fucking up a routine but he could keep Gavin, and the spastic flourish of color he brought, under control. Geoff was the man Michael could get down and dirty with, the man he could hurl insults at when his fiery temper got the best of him. Geoff could just shake it off, punch him, and hand him a beer and all would be forgiven and they would both feel better in the end.
Jack was harder to pin down because he was everything and anything all the same time but Michael coerced him into the green category. He could be the color of the ocean, green and unending with love, or he could be fresh cut green grass, the softest motherfucker around. Jack was everything Michael hadn’t known he needed. An outlet for creativity where Michael had found nothing. Jack was a friend, a roommate, a lover; all these were Jack and Jack was green.
Gavin was a flash of neon blue, spinning and weaving in a dance that spelled out words like bar sign. He was wild and crazy and so unique that it hurt Michael sometimes. Gavin was mellowed easily by Geoff but he would still shine off the solid color that was Geoff. Michael liked being in the glow of Gavin because it was comforting, in a drunkard sort of way. They could drink and talk smack and in the end, the day always seemed a bit brighter with Gavin around.
Ryan, the last color but certainly not one to be forgotten, was at the tip of the rainbow and locked Gavin’s wild blue from drifting into the sky and being overwhelming. He was a sturdy brown; the color of the earth that Michael walked on and reminded him everyday that he was among the land of the living. Ryan was the one Michael went to when things went wrong, because Ryan could fix them and it be done without a word, only a kiss to the cheek, forehead, or lips and whispers of “I love you”.
Michael knew the others would think he’d bumped his head too hard on their headboard if he ever brought it up; or maybe they had thought about him in a manner not unlike himself-in a color. Would they see him as red? A violent color that licked like flames to those who would dare hurt them? Did they see him as black? An overwhelming force of the galaxy where they could lose themselves and forget for a while?
Maybe he would ask them someday.