Chapter Text
Faint morning light filtered through the curtains and penetrated inside the room. The two boys were still deep in sleep, the tangle of sheets twisted around their entwined legs. Will kept his head on Mike's slowly rising and falling chest, his hand gently clasped around his side while the black-haired boy had his arm around Will's torso holding him close. Heavy breathing, sighs dictated by sleep, lots of free space in the bed.
When Mike opened his eyes he tried to focus on Will's face, which looked incredibly relaxed and serene, and Mike felt guilty for waking up, as if he had somehow broken the spell that had been created between them the night before. Since the boy on top of him was still asleep he took the opportunity to study the features of his face; his cheeks were slightly flushed even in his sleep, and Mike liked to think that that blush was due to their proximity. Then again, Mike's body was not immune either, feeling Will so close made him feel drunk, made his head spin, made him want to kiss him. And there was no use denying it because he had admitted to himself that he wanted to kiss him, that he had to kiss him. He did not care anymore about the things allowed and not allowed, in fact, he had almost found relish and comfort in that whole sphere of what’s not allowed.
He froze when Will stirred slightly in his sleep, as if he had read his mind. Ever since they were little Mike had always thought about it, often Will would complete his sentences, often they would understand each other without letting a word escape their lips.
With his fingertips he touched his own shirt, which, however, was now worn by the boy in his bed, Will's scent now mingled with his own. If Will had been a season, according to Mike it would have been autumn, those colors so warm that they conveyed comfort, a sense of relaxation, Will reminded him of the cascade of orange leaves on the asphalt roads, the scent of candles that filled Byers house, the woolen blankets inside Castle Byers, the nights watching horror movies, two little boys hugging in front of the fireplace.
Mike let his fingers slide to Will's back, he tried to stay relaxed against the pillow even as he slipped his hand under his shirt to gently stroke his back, sensing the spine under his own touch.
"Mike"
Mike stopped whatever movement he was making and stood as still as a statue, he tried to look around but Will's face was right there in front of him, two inches from his own and he did not know how to ignore his sleepy eyes that now scrutinized him.
"Good morning" he said pretending to be calm, even straining to hint at a smile.
"Good morning, Mike"
"Did you sleep well?"
“Very well”
Will was awake, he was awake and he was in his own arms, comfortable in the bubble that was Mike's room, they were so close, so close to each other and everything felt incredibly right for some reason.
"Maybe because of me" Mike ironized, turning a smirk on Will with what last bit of courage he had left.
As he maintained eye contact he regretted saying that sentence but fortunately Will -as always- made him feel he was in the right place at the right time.
"Maybe you're right" he smiled, "Like when we were kids"
Mike wished he could have caressed his cheek as he continued to look into his eyes like that, he seemed to think about it far too much, he didn't know what to do and Will, he was there and he hadn't moved, he didn't want to move away from his arms. He lowered his gaze to his lips and was forced to look away soon after to try to curb his instincts. Eventually Will got up stretching between the covers as his friend looked at him, still with his head on the pillow. You look beautiful, Mike wanted to say.
"I'm incredibly hungry" he said instead.
Will opened his mouth as if to say something dropping his eyes to Mike's lips, but turned away as soon as someone started knocking on the door, Mike pulled himself up slightly with his upper body, after all whoever was behind that door could just as easily come in right? They had nothing to hide the two of them, they were simply in the same bed but now they were far apart and Mike did not understand why, however he felt his pulse quicken.
"Yeah?" he said in a voice laced with sleep while rubbing his eyes.
"Sorry to have disturbed you two! I just wanted to see if you were still alive, since it's 2 p.m. and we haven't heard from you since yesterday" Nancy's voice behind the door was ironic and Mike could imagine her expression.
He exchanged a glance with Will and then smiled.
"Coming”
Will didn’t mind about leaving the room in his pajamas while Mike was forced to put on a T-shirt and a pair of shorts because it would not have been a good idea to swoop in his underwear while everyone was there.
The smell of pancakes still lingered in the air even though by now they had probably all eaten lunch, Mike obviously didn't care that he had skipped breakfast or even lunch, nothing was more important anyway than being squeezed into Will between the sheets of his bed, which now seemed to belong to him as well.
The table was mainly cleared but his mother had taken care to leave a plate of pancakes and maple syrup for the two sleepyheads, in the armchair his father was reading a newspaper, if Will had not been there, Mike would have been lost in quickly reading the main headlines but his head was clouded by one thought, spending time with his friend.
As he sank his fork into the soft pancake he pondered that word, that word that turned out to be so simple to say but hard to define, it was probably actually a word that generated comfort in him, he liked to think that he was Will's friend, he liked to think that he felt the need to be around him because they were friends, although in the last few hours that thought had been more of a twist, because friends do not feel like kissing, it wasn’t allowed.
So what were he and Will? He kept feeling his every certainty crumble under the weight of that question because maybe the answer was easy to find and it was inside him but for the moment Mike was not ready to dig that deep inside himself and so calling Will his friend made him feel safe. It was allowed. Perhaps someday he would be able to shed light on their relationship but for now, to avoid a panic attack, he decided to stick to the definition of friends. Will was his friend. And he wanted to kiss his friend, his best friend, that’s it.
Driven by the intensity of those thoughts he looked up at Will's lips, too focused on enjoying his breakfast-lunch to realize Mike's eyes. When he was with El he didn't want to kiss her so much, he liked kissing her, they were gentle kisses, maybe obvious kisses, maybe a kind of formality, but he had never felt the way he felt in Will's presence. All he had to do was look at him to think about what it would be like to kiss him but then a feeling would flare up in him, the feeling that those were wrong thoughts and so he would try to chase them away and convince himself that it would never happen.
"Sleep well?" said Mrs. Wheeler as she entered the kitchen interior.
Mike only flushed at that question, out of the corner of his eye he looked at his friend realizing that he too was blushing in the process. He nodded, trying to avoid his mother's gaze as he helped her clear the table.
"I haven't slept this well in years" Will added, taking his plate in his hands and casting a glance at Mike as if to say I haven't slept this well since the last time we slept together.
"I'm glad to hear you say that, Will, you know you're always welcome here" said Mike's mom smiling "Mike, me, your dad and Holly are going to take a ride to the mall, do you guys need anything?" she then said referring to Mike.
"I don't think so, no" he hated spending time with his family, mainly because of the relationship between his father and mother.
"Uhm, where’s my mom?" asked Will while looking around with a confused expression.
"Oh" Karen smiled as she poured coffee into a small cup before turning to Will "I think she went out with Hopper. But don't worry, your brother is watching a movie with Nancy in the basement so if you need anything he is there and of course you can ask us too"
Will nodded and smiled. Mike went to sit on the couch and the boy followed him sitting at a proper distance as if everything that had happened the night before had already vanished, just like a spell. Mike barely tilted his head so he could get a better look at his figure and realized that Will's eyes were already on him. Praying not to blush he hinted an awkward, decidedly embarrassed smile before inviting him to stand up with a nod.
"Shall we go see what movie they're watching? Maybe we'll join in"
And Will smiled as he thought about the pecedent evening, Mike couldn't help but hint at a slight laugh, not wanting to get too out of line in front of his parents even though they were about to leave the house.
After waving goodbye and watching the three of them walk out the front door Mike burst out laughing and Will did the same, bringing a hand to his stomach as he laughed out loud.
"God, I hope they're not-"
"Sh!" Mike interrupted him without stopping laughing, bringing a hand over Will's mouth to shut him up.
Was that necessary? No but Mike wanted to touch him and any excuse was good for a little physical contact. When they calmed down from their laughter they got up from the couch to head for the basement, actually along the staircase silence reigned so maybe they were not watching a movie.
"Yuck, when I think of my sister like that I feel sick" whispered Mike in Will's ear before they reached their destination.
"Gross, so gross"
"Yeah gross"
"Yeah.."
"I mean.." Mike froze nervously running his fingers over the sweatpants he was wearing "Gross because it's about them..I mean..."
"Let's go" Will cut it short, now with totally red cheeks, he overtook him but froze just because at the end of the stairs were Nancy and his brother.
Jonathan had his backpack on his shoulders and awkwardly waved to his little brother, Nancy also had a bag in her hands, she was busy looking for a set of keys among the various junk she kept inside.
"Are you going out?" asked Mike, feeling his pulse quicken just at the thought of what would happen next.
"Yes, it's a nice day, we were thinking of going to the park, do you want to come?" asked Jonathan.
Mike looked behind him where his sister now held a set of keys in her hand, evidently he had zapped her with his gaze since she picked up on what he was trying to tell her without speaking.
"Oh I think they'd be bored" she said smiling sweetly with a pointed look at her younger brother, "Mike, sorry, can I please borrow that thing?"
"Wha..what thing?"
Evidently the expression on Mike's face was so confused that even Will furrowed his brow, as if he was actually curious about what was being talked about.
"That thing, come on"
The Byers remained on the stairs, Mike saw them talking and smiling, they were probably talking about Joyce, and Mike felt a knot in his stomach thinking about Joyce, consequently thinking about Hopper and inevitably thinking about El, whom he should have talked to but did not feel at all ready to do so.
He followed Nancy as far as he could from the two boys and crossed his arms over his chest, knowing perfectly well what would come out of her lips.
"Remember what I told you"
Her gaze was sweet, caring, Mike thought that if Will and Jonathan were not in the same room as them, he probably would have hugged her. He said nothing because the words died on the tip of his tongue, he just nodded and went back to the other two.
In a few moments Jonathan and Nancy left the house and it seemed to Mike that the world collapsed under his feet. He had made no secret of his desire to be alone with him, and yet that moment had come, and Mike did not know what to do about it. The knot in his throat had overwhelmed him as soon as the front door had closed. The world outside, the two of them inside. Will seemed on the surface to be calmer, but Mike knew that his stomach was literally upside down as well. He could tell by the way his hands fidgeted and the way he let his gaze slide to every corner of the house but avoided Mike’s.
Mike had been standing motionless in the middle of the hall, his arms along his sides and his head in the clouds. Will had sat on the couch and now Mike could see him nervously rubbing his hands on his pajama pants.
"Uhm maybe I should get dressed" the bowl-cut boy finally said, daring to look up.
Mike maintained eye contact unable to help but smile as he saw a slight blush appear on Will's cheeks, he felt the same way and it was nice to know he wasn't the only one hyperventilating in the house. He realized too late that he was staring at his friend, so he was forced to look away, hoping not to blush.
"I don't know...I mean do you remember when we used to spend whole days in our pajamas?"
Will's eyes lit up as he heard those words come out of his friend's mouth. After all, Mike didn't mind at all seeing Will walking around the house in his pajamas.
"And when it rained we would make a fort in your basement and read comic books or listen to music" Will added as he got up from the couch.
Now that he was in front of him Mike again felt that chill go through his back, the chill he only felt with Will.
Suddenly an idea hit him full force and he seemed - for a moment - to come to his senses.
"By the way, you need to listen to this song I discovered” it makes me think of you, of us, he wanted to say. “I'm sure you'll like it" he said all in one breath and then turned a smile to Will, and he smiled.
Without saying anything he turned on his heels and sprinted into the basement making sure to let Will walk past him and close the door, even though they were alone. Mike took the walkman from a cabinet and rummaged through the drawer for a few seconds looking for the desired cassette. While he was looking for it he occasionally looked up at Will, who was sitting on the couch with his knees to his chest and a relaxed expression. They looked at each other for a split second, and the tension seemed to turn solid the moment their irises met. Mike watched Will's pupils dilate and thought that if they had not been separated by a handful of feet he would have kissed him at that precise moment. However, he bent his gaze again to return to what, in his mind, he was allowed to do. To return to his search.
He finally found the desired object and slipped the cassette into the walkman before slinging himself with little grace between the cushions of the couch Will was sitting on, inevitably bumping his knee against his leg. They both burst out laughing, and even as Mike settled back as best he could on the couch, their legs continued to touch a little more. The dark-haired boy took the headphones and put them on Will, doing his best to touch his soft hair.
Will laid his head against the back of the sofa and relaxed his shoulders against it to listen to Billy Joel's This is the Time. Mike had his torso turned slightly toward him and watched every perceptible movement to make sure the boy was enjoying that song. Mike knew it by heart as he knew Will.
As the latter drummed his fingers against his pants following the rhythm of the song Mike let his gaze slide over his hand. He swallowed hard, trying to find the courage somewhere to take his hand but not finding it.
Did you know that before you came into my life
Some kind of miracle that I survived
Some day we will both look back
And have to laugh
We lived through a lifetime
And the aftermath
Mike silently placed his hand on Will's leg, a few inches from his fingers. Will instinctively opened his eyes and parted his lips, lowered his gaze to their hands so close, to Mike's fingers on his own leg, and sighed softly. That sigh was enough for Mike to melt. He moistened his lips by passing the tip of his tongue over them as his hand slowly moved closer to his and finally Mike met Will’s hazel eyes.
This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
'Cause we won't
Although we want to
Can I?, he wanted to ask him, but he didn't because Will's gaze alternated perhaps too quickly from Mike's dark eyes to his lips, Mike felt Will's gaze on his own lips and wondered how he had managed to last so long without placing them on his mouth.
This is the time
But time is gonna change
I know we've got to move somehow
But I don't want to lose you now
The urge to get closer enveloped him like a cloud of smoke, there would be so many things to say but maybe for that the time would come in the future, the only thing Mike wanted to do was to feel him close and to do that he had to silence all those fears in his own head that were suffocating him.
Sometimes it's so easy
To let a day
Slip on by
Without even seeing each other at all
But this is the time you'll turn back and so will I
And those will be the days you can never recall
He cleared his throat as he finally went to intertwine his own fingers with Will's, curved his lips into a sweet smile trying to hide the nervousness that had taken hold of him. Will's hand was warm and reminded him of home because home for Mike was not Hawkins, it was not his bedroom with Will's drawings on the wall, it was not the basement where they had played dnd countless times. Home, for Mike, was Will. And his life was so connected to Will that he never realized before how much Will's influence was everything to him.
And so we embrace again
Behind the dunes
This beach is cold
On winter afternoons
But holding you close is like holding the summer sun
I'm warm from the memory of days to come
A sincere, perhaps slightly embarrassed smile formed on the face of the boy with headphones on his head, above this his red cheeks and shiny eyes were framed by his neatly combed hair.
Mike stroked the back of Will's hand with his thumb as he searched his own head for the right words to say. He could not find them.
This is the time
But time is gonna change
You've given me the best of you
But now I need the rest of you
Mike sank his teeth into his lower lip exerting perhaps too much pressure, Will's gaze landed on his mouth and did not leave until the boy let out another sigh. Yet another sigh that sent Mike out of his mind.
At this point the song had ended and the silence had become oppressive, despite this, the two boys could not for any reason take their eyes off each other. So much to say but perhaps no need to do so. They had always understood each other without speaking; that moment was yet another confirmation of that. A mutual agreement established without speaking to each other, just exchanging glances more intense than a thousand words. Mike and Will were also this. They were silence and they were noise. They were nothing and everything.
Will took off his headphones and put them down on the couch but immediately returned to look at his friend.
"I don’t like it, I love it" he said in a low, gentle tone of voice.
if I don't do it now, I never will, Mike thought before finally deciding to trust his heart for once.
“Will”
Will blinked as if waiting for more words to come out of Mike's mouth, when Mike did not parry Will squeezed Mike's hand further as if to say I am here, with you. And we are in this together.
“Mike”
His name said by Will had a different sound, sometimes sounding sweeter, sometimes more bitter. He sighed softly as he alternated his gaze one last time from their hands to Will's face focusing on his big eyes he had always loved and his lips. His lips looked so soft.
“I want to…”
Mike squeezed his eyelids shut and hated himself for not being able to say those words, those words that he felt so true inside his heart, however, he could not understand why fear would not let him go. He tried to speak again.
“I….I want to..” kiss you, to hold you, to know that you are mine.
Will looked patient but his gaze hid so much hope, and Mike could feel his heart beating in his chest at an abnormal rate.
"Then do it" Will said, lowering his gaze to Mike's lips in case the boy didn't understand.
And Mike finally did. He laid his free hand on Will's soft cheek, tilted his head to one side and went to zero in on the distance of the two, when his lips touched Will's he felt as if he were invaded by a jolt of electricity, he felt as if he had touched heaven with his finger, or rather with his lips. He tried to silence the beating of his heart and the thoughts in his own head for a moment to enjoy the kiss.
Will initially appeared as still as a statue but within seconds he let himself go because of that kiss that-evidently-he also wanted more than anything else. He squinted his eyes and brought his lips to Mike's; Mike did not care about his eventual inexperience and Will knew that. He would never tell him specifically, but Mike quivered at the thought of being Will’s first kiss. Will's tapering fingers found their way to Mike's dark hair, the latter relaxed at the feel of Will's fingertips against his own skin, that slow and gentle kiss seemed to say so many things, seemed to sum up in one gesture everything they had never had the courage to say in all the years they had spent together, seemed to be the culmination of that feeling that had grown with them and had varied over time.
Mike was the first to break off the kiss, just as he had begun it. Immediately he wasted no time and shifted his attention to the boy in front of him, Will's eyes shone, his irises looked like precious stones, and Mike had not yet realized what he had just done but felt as if he were in a totally different reality, a reality where those things that in normal life seemed forbidden to him were possible. They both tried to catch their breath without taking their hands off each other, Mike gently stroked Will's cheek with his fingertips, Will's hands were instead firmly in Mike's hair. And Mike would not let anyone touch his hair like that but Will. From his own lips he let out a sigh, finding himself once again looking at Will's mouth and then at his eyes, with his gaze he hoped to convey his own feelings to him.
Did I do the right thing? Did you want that too? What about now? What will change? These were all questions that were driving him crazy but at that moment any words could be put off until later because everything he needed was there in front of him.
"Mike"
Yes, please say it again, Mike thought as he saw Will's slightly flushed lips and thought that he was the one who had made them that way.
"Hmm?"
"Can you.."
Will's hand moved to Mike's neck, his touch seemed to provoke tiny electric shocks, his fingertips on his own skin unable to make Mike think straight. All his mind could formulate was a desire to want more, to want more from Will, another kiss, another touch, just to make sure he was not dreaming this and that it was real, every single gesture between them was as real and their feelings were real.
Mike moved his face slightly closer to Will's and hinted a sincere smile before moistening his lips, Will sighed letting his hand slide over Mike's face tracing the trail of freckles on the boy's cheeks with his fingertips and then lingering his thumb on Mike's lower lip. Mike left a kiss on his finger and smiled again.
"Can I?" he asked in a slightly defiant tone as if to say tell me what you want, tell me what you want from me and I swear I'll accommodate you, Will, ask me anything, for you I would do anything.
"Do it again"
"Do what?"
Will looked up at Mike, and this time he was the one who drew Mike's face toward him, and Mike certainly did not flinch when Will placed his hand on his neck to ask for another kiss.
The mouths of both met again and this time with less fear, no uncertainty, just the desire to belong to each other in that kiss, faces tilted, eyes closed, breaths uneven, lips red. The kiss was deepened more and more, Mike loved driving Will, showing him what he liked, teaching him how to kiss, he liked it because Will listened and learned and he did he was so good at it. His scent was everywhere, invading his nostrils, enveloping his body, Mike brought one hand to Will's back and Will placed his own on Mike's leg exerting gentle pressure, both of them found it impossible to take their hands off each other, to stop touching each other, and both of them seemed to have the need and desire to be as close as possible.
Mike's fingers slipped under Will's shirt -which was actually his own- and stroked his back and then brushed his hips. Will's lips were soft and gentle, he loved kissing him.
They were forced apart just enough to catch their breath, their chests rising and falling at the same time as they tried to regularize their breaths.
They looked at each other again, they both knew they would still have to talk about it but they also knew that that moment would soon be over and they had to make the most of it. To Mike, normality had never been scary, he found comfort in everything he knew well and discouragement in what took him out of his bubble, the bubble he had created as a result of all the events of the past.
"Can I touch you?.." came out of Will's mouth as a whisper and Mike nodded with perhaps too much speed.
"Yes, please" he said therefore before biting his lower lip sensing Will so close to him.
"And can I kiss you?" Will's voice was slightly hoarse, his hair tousled and his lips red from kissing made him irresistible in Mike's eyes.
"Yeah"
Please take charge, I could go crazy right now, Mike thought. And probably his sanity was jeopardized at that very moment because Will -seized by a mysterious courage- did not hesitate to place his hand on Mike's chest and kiss his lips again but this time as soon as Mike went to kiss him back, Will moved away and smiled. The boy brushed Mike's lips with his own before leaving a trail of kisses on his cheeks, on his freckles, on his jaw.
"Will..." Mike sighed, exaggeratedly appreciating those attentions.
He wished he'd never stop. Will's lips descended to Mike's neck where they left a few moist kisses. Mike stroked Will's hair, letting his fingers run through the various strands. This is heaven, he thought.
He took advantage of the fact that he still had his hands on Will's hips to draw him in. Closer and closer to kiss him again. He would never get tired of him or his kisses, he would never get tired of his scent or even his touch. He wanted to stay like this forever but as usual everything had an end and even that moment so intense between them was forced to end. Will remained on Mike’s lap for a few more seconds, although they both heard the sound of the car parking in the driveway. They looked at each other for moments that seemed immense, as if to take a mental photograph of that moment to remember it in the future.
When this won’t be possible, Mike thought, I will think of nothing else but you. And in the process he stroked Will's tousled hair and delighted in the warmth emanating from his body and the flush of his cheeks. Eventually Will went back to sit on the couch, Mike sank his face into his hands to recover and especially to prepare himself psychologically to meet his family after an hour of intense kissing with his best friend. He still felt like a mess, but he felt right, he felt relieved and not only because Will reciprocated but also because stifling his feelings had always been simply pointless and the clearest demonstration was just that.
Will tried to avoid his gaze as he absentmindedly played with the cassette of the song they had heard earlier.
"I think your parents are here" he finally said, and Mike nodded.
He couldn't afford to let that intense atmosphere of a few moments earlier die just like that; he couldn't take any steps back.
"Did you like it?" he asked as he looked at the cassette in Will's hands and Will turned red in the face "the song, I mean" Mike then added, knowing that he had already been misunderstood.
He let out a laugh from his own lips and went to wrap an arm around Will's shoulders to pull him closer to him, after all, the desire to feel him close certainly had not gone away.
"Very much" Will said as he laid his hand on Mike's thigh and rested his head on his shoulder before resuming speaking, "although I liked what happened next better"
Mike swore he saw a smile appear on Will's lips and hoped that he did not blush too much at those words.
"Will"
"Mike"
Now they were both looking into each other's eyes as if they could read each other's souls.
I love you, Mike wanted to say.
Will probably would have wanted to say it too but it was not the right time and that was okay, maybe in the future they would be able to say it out loud but both were now aware of the feelings they had. Feelings that Mike could no longer ignore or lock away in the furthest part of his mind, if he wanted to be okay he had to accept and embrace them.
They didn't say I love you to each other that day, not with words, they said it to each other with looks and yet another kiss on the lips before the basement door opened.
Whoever opened it stood motionless in front of the staircase and they remained silent.
"Guys, it's Nancy, I'm on my way down, right now, I don't want to disturb, I’m coming" she warned them.
Mike tried to hold back a laugh but Will could not and burst out laughing at the precise instant Mike's sister reached them.
"I'll take Jonathan's things and take them to my room" the girl said, raising her hands as if to apologize in advance for that intrusion.
Mike knew his sister and could tell by the way she pressed her lips that she was trying not to smile. Fortunately -or unfortunately- Will got up from the couch that suddenly appeared cold without his body next to him.
"I think it's time for me to get dressed" he said before turning a glance to Mike and climbing the stairs.
Mike followed him with his gaze until his figure disappeared and he relaxed on the back of the sofa.
"So…" said Nancy as she approached the sofa while holding Jonathan's backpack in her hands "I won't tell you anything, I won't ask anything but..I mean..."
It came naturally to Mike to smile, curving upward both corners of his mouth into a grin.
"What?"
"I know, and I’m happy for you"
Mike imagined that it wasn't very difficult, especially for Nancy who was always watching everything, he knew he was red in the face and he knew his hair was messed up, he knew he had a dreamy smile on his face and he knew Will was in the exact same condition as him.
"I know you know"
He smiled at her and she did the same before returning to her room.
With effort Mike got up from the couch, from the place where everything had happened, and headed to his room where he found Will intent on preparing the necessary things to take a shower.
"Hi" he whispered, closing the door behind them and leaning against it.
"Hi" Will replied, smiling broadly at him before catching up with him and resetting the distance between the two of them to zero.
Maybe someday, Mike thought as he wrapped his arms around Will's waist and basked in his scent mingled with his own, maybe someday I will tell you.