Chapter Text
“Start the party without me!” was what Kaeya told everyone as he stepped unsurely towards Diluc. Thankfully the build-up anticipation set the party rolling in motion immediately, and he was free to approach Diluc without feeling self-conscious.
The silence between them was gradually bridged by their non-verbal cues to communicate. They eyed each other like befuddled goldfish, transfixed yet hesitant. Diluc spoke up first, breaking the ice between them.
“Can we talk?”
Archons, it was awkward. There were no snide barriers, no premeditated intentions, no forceful circumstances between or around them. Yet this was what a normal interaction between them was like.
“Of course,” said Kaeya graciously. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. But if Diluc was trying, Kaeya wasn't about to be half-hearted.
They stepped towards the balcony. Kaeya began to look nervous as he placed a hand behind the back of his head.
“How shall we do this? You may begin first. Say what you have to say,” he offered, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.
Diluc sighed. “On your birthday? And I’m not here to… criticise you. Are you expecting that?”
Kaeya shook his head tentatively. “More like… I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you did this all for me.”
“So do you see my efforts as sincere?” asked Diluc hopefully. Kaeya had not yet read his birthday letter, but Diluc hoped the catering efforts and his drinks would be seen as adequate.
“Of course,” replied Kaeya quickly, “I’m just shocked. And I am very grateful - you have no idea what this means to me - but does this mean… you have forgiven me?”
Diluc simply exhaled. The answer sprang easily behind his lips, but he felt any variation of it would be insufficient to convey this sense of renewal between them.
“That is complicated. How about we begin by asking each other simpler questions? You start.”
Kaeya went into deep thought, and Diluc waited, mentally preparing himself for the impossible.
"Do you regret your family taking me in as a child?"
Surprise and regret dawned on Diluc’s face. He had not expected a question pertaining to the root of their siblinghood. He turned away, not before Kaeya spotted his knitted eyebrows and reflective expression.
“No,” he answered slowly, “You had nothing to do with what happened to Father. Not least of all, I admit you were a joyful addition to our childhood."
Kaeya smiled with a rush of feeling - of affection - flooding his heart. It was nice to see Diluc reminiscing about the old days once in a while, rather than not acknowledging them at all. At the same time, there was a gut-wrenching pull at the mention of Crepus.
"Any other hard feelings? I'll listen to anything you have to get off your chest."
"I can't hate you for what you are, which includes your propensity to thrust people into situations they are unprepared for."
The sides of Kaeya's face cracked into a wry smile.
"I'm afraid that part of me has only gotten worse."
"You're being very self-deprecating," said Diluc, "Is this your conscience speaking?"
"I think people dislike that about me, and I think it’s only right of them to do so,” said Kaeya with uncharacteristic modesty.
“I can’t say I disagree with that,” said Diluc, “But you have always been unexpectedly sharp since young, which makes you unpredictable, especially when you usually choose to leverage on your observations.”
Kaeya could sense the compliment and felt obliged to return one. It was nice to receive one every now and then.
“Despite your inflexible exterior, you know how to play to your strengths and push on even when faced with the odds. It makes you an indomitable foe.”
Kaeya nearly winced at how backhanded his compliment sounded. To his surprise, Diluc wasn’t frowning at him.
"I have a question of my own. However, I can save it for later, after you've eaten and drunk your fill."
Kaeya had the strangest feeling that no moment could be as important as when the question was posed now.
"Haha, I can wait. What is it?" he asked lightheartedly.
"Do you resent me, Kaeya?" Diluc asked somberly, his eyes holding unwavering acceptance.
Kaeya chuckled. Really, Diluc was sometimes serious about things to a fault.
"Truthfully, only as much as I resent myself. You are inseparable to me. What you think of me, I cannot help but think of myself." Kaeya regarded the stars in the sky pensively, helplessly smiling.
"You speak of it too fondly," muttered Diluc, straightening his own collar absentmindedly. "What I think of you shouldn't dictate the way you think about yourself."
Kaeya shrugged. The silence between them carried a peace he thought had forever vanished. Nothing was of more importance than Diluc's relaxed posture next to him, and his hand wandering naturally close like a protective older sibling's.
"Step out of my shadow. You're free to go whatever path in life you want. It should have been like that since we were young. Perhaps, then, I wouldn't have taken your place by my side for granted," the wine tycoon murmured.
"Your father's and your compassion was all I could ever ask for," said Kaeya, a long-sown regret wriggling in his gut, "You didn't deserve the weight of my truth, nor to have your trust broken. You have every right to be angry at me. It was something I could have, ah, chosen a better timing for."
Diluc closed his eyes momentarily. "Perhaps. But I should never have turned you away. Your past and origins don't define you. That was the least I could have said. I won't ask you to forgive me."
"I've forgiven you," said Kaeya simply, ignoring the choked feeling in his throat. Really, why was it that when the subject came to the fight, no matter how merry their surroundings, it would induce a tear or two?
Diluc gave a heavy sigh. His eyes were hooded with a burdensome emotion that Kaeya did not have the heart to categorise.
"I always make you sad, Kaeya," he said rather sorrowfully.
“Don’t be silly, you’d be giving yourself too much credit,” mumbled Kaeya, “Besides, I was just about to say how much I’ve missed you all these years.” His delivery might have been soft, but there was the feeling of a weight being lifted off his chest.
"You, not speaking in riddles to convey a truth? What a shocker." Diluc patted a hand against his chest for good measure.
"Ouch. I didn't realise that I -"
"I was joking. It's not an intrinsically bad trait. Certainly not as bad as being an incurable alcoholic," Diluc finished with a straight face.
Kaeya met him dead in the eye, raising his glass to his lips and savouring huge mouthfuls of his wine. Diluc nearly rolled his eyes.
"I miss you too. I miss… all of this," the redhead said awkwardly, gesturing towards the balcony's scenery, in reality referring to the muffled celebratory noises of favourable company behind them.
Snatches of chatter wove in between the sounds of a rising zephyr that swathed the balcony. Klee's ebullient voice was particularly loud, followed by Albedo's long-suffering, placating one.
Kaeya's thoughts took a blissful turn. Perhaps now was the time. It was nothing significant in the grand scheme of things, but he still did not know how Dilic would react. There was already so much lost time with Diluc, so make it up to him Kaeya would. Perhaps Diluc would not mind the change in subject.
"Errrr, Diluc? There's something I need to tell you."
"What is it?"
"It's nothing big, so there's nothing to fear about." Kaeya drummed his fingers against his knee, imagining a simple ring adorning his fourth finger.
"Hmm."
"Albedo and I are in a relationship."
"At this age, it's hardly anything surprising - Wait, what? The alchemist?"
"Yes. He's quite the upstanding character."
"I didn't see it coming," Diluc said dumbly.
Kaeya snorted. "Of course you didn't. It happened quite recently, too."
"I don't know if it is my place to say this - but congratulations," Dilic said after a while, a flustered look on his face. "How did it happen?"
"You know we both love babysitting Klee. It changed from a routine to a time of mutual companionship, and the rest is history. He also saved my life twice."
"How…nice," remarked Diluc, and the fact that he did not sound sarcastic was enough for Kaeya.
"You can smile when you're happy, brother," teased Kaeya, "Otherwise it just looks like your mouth has lost its motor control."
"I pray that Albedo's influence can curate your tongue for the better," Diluc said dryly, a hint of amusement in his tone.
"He knows," interjected Kaeya, "about my past. It's curious, but he doesn't seem to mind."
"You deserve someone who accepts you wholly," said Diluc with great difficulty, "I don't know why it sundered our siblinghood - perhaps it was to teach me a valuable lesson. That things, no matter how good, are impermanent; and that goodness cannot be measured by a single parameter. I needed you to open my eyes to the entire world."
"Wow, Diluc," chortled Kaeya in a quavering tone, "That was powerful. I'd shed a tear or two because I'm truly touched, but this occasion calls for humour. Can you wax poetic like that to your own lover?"
Kaeya received a well-deserved punch for that before Diluc stepped inside. He observed that Diluc at first stayed on the fringes of the rowdy company, before mingling tentatively with Jean first. To Kaeya, it looked like they were mending bridges properly at last.
He stepped inside, approaching the backs of Diluc and Jean. Their voices were quiet even as the din around them died down as the evening grew later.
"Kaeya," called Jean, beckoning him over.
He received a light punch to the gut.
"Again - that's for planning to sacrifice yourself needlessly." Jean was furious.
"This doesn't wound me. I agree," acknowledged Kaeya, feeling truly apologetic.
"How dramatic. When will you ever realise that your friends want you to stay alive?" she asked him exasperatedly.
"Incurable bastard," Diluc furnished with a straight face.
Jean gave a startled look. "Diluc. You… you just cursed.”
Kaeya followed suit, affecting a large gasp. "Far it be from me to assume your words; further it be for my ears to lie."
Diluc punched him lightly again, ears flushed, while Jean cracked up. Albedo joined them, though he seemed rather unwilling. Kaeya knew how much he loathed social gatherings of any occasion. He could see Lisa steering in their direction, and decided to make a get-away. Hopefully Diluc would not be so much of an antisocial bastard as to leave as well.
"Come, Albedo, we must make another toast for our victory," Kaeya said happily, drawing them both away from the crowd.
"As you wish," assented the alchemist, blushing as Kaeya took his hand. On the way to the balcony they were accosted by Klee.
"Big brothers, where are you going?! Can Bennett take Klee fish blasting? He said fish end up dying whenever he uses his Vision near water. That means Klee won't kill any fishes! Master Jean will let Klee, won't she?"
"Dear Klee, why not ask Jean then?" teased Kaeya, bending down to Klee's level. The little girl pouted.
"We'll take you on an adventure soon… How about tomorrow? A nice, long walk to Starsnatch cliff and back," he proposed to Klee's delight. "Right now, can you keep Bennett and Diluc company?"
"I can spare the time certainly," agreed Albedo, nodding to the girl.
"Why are you two holding hands? Are you two getting married? You only did that in the secret experiment lab," Klee blurted out, causing Albedo to smack a hand against his face. Kaeya's head snapped backwards to catch any eavesdroppers, though it seemed that everyone else was occupied.
"No, but you mustn't disclose 'us' yet. The others don't know about us. Can you keep a secret, Klee?" Kaeya persuaded her.
"Klee doesn't see anything wrong with you two getting married," the girl said truthfully, tilting her head with disarming innocence. "That means I get to see you two more!"
"Ah well, that's great," said Kaeya, warmth blooming in his chest.
"Bye bye! I won't tell anyone!" She scurried away, going to Jean's side.
Albedo cleared his throat slightly, directing Kaeya's attention back to him.
"Shall we continue?" he asked shyly.
"Of course. I didn't sweep you away from the rest not to have your undivided attention," Kaeya answered somewhat flirtatiously.
Normally, gestures like sharing the view with someone else did not fluster Kaeya. Then again, his last dalliances had been before his eighteenth birthday. After that he had closed his heart, incapable of forming attachments without the paralysing fear that they would crumble into dust quickly.
Perhaps Kaeya was more fragile than he had thought. Ever since Albedo's and his mutual confession, Kaeya had been in a state of delayed euphoria. If not for the existential dread the Dainsleif incident had instilled in him, Kaeya would have been the happiest man for consecutive days. As things were, Dainsleif was still alive, the harbingers were on the move, and Kaeya’s past was closer than ever in catching up to him.
Yet, he wasn’t empty handed this time.
"I hope you will pardon my honesty when I say it's a dangerous business, letting my heart sway in this manner. I haven't felt this way before," expressed Kaeya, fingers twitching against the balustrade. It felt cool and smooth under his fingers.
"I see no reason to be less than honest. You have no need to misconstrue your true feelings. That would be counterproductive to our relationship," said Albedo gently.
Kaeya hesitated for a moment, etching his eyes upon Albedo’s features.
“My upbringing has not been the most affirming to my happiness, but I want to let you know that I’m willing to try. I want to put the past behind me and start anew, no matter how infeasible that sounds. Because I doubt that my past will leave me alone. But I shall be ever so glad to face the future with you.”
Albedo was silenced by his own awe. It was something he rarely felt, this all-encompassing mixture of admiration and acceptance and gratitude.
“I am grateful for your efforts, Kaeya, and I see them as clearly as daylight. Perhaps you can tell me about your past; I would like to know.”
Kaeya began to feel a wave of giddiness swarm his head. This was what it meant to be close to someone - to confide in one's own past without fear of judgement.
“Will you tell me yours as well?”
“Of course. Can we pick a time this week, or shall we begin now?” Albedo asked earnestly.
"Another day of this week. I have a proposition to ask of you now. If we would like to get to know each other better, we should try living together in a temporary arrangement. We can do so whenever we feel like it," suggested Kaeya.
Albedo's gaze flickered downwards, as it did whenever he was thoughtful.
"Living together… hmm. That is - whenever there is a holiday?"
Kaeya gave a chuckle. "Too bad the Knights don't have holidays. We'll be spontaneous instead. I know you value your independence and solitude, so I won't force you. We can go at your pace."
"I don't see why not. It makes sense," said Albedo, tilting his head, "Do couples usually do this activity? Get used to living in each other's space?"
"Well, yes. The prospect fills me with excitement," Kaeya admitted unreservedly, "I hope you will consider it."
Albedo stepped in closer, cupping a hand against the taller man's rapidly blushing face.
"I could get used to it. I would just need space for my laboratory."
"And you shall have it, with all the safety mechanisms to keep our house safe. I can't wait to implement them."
They weren't clamouring for physical intimacy like what seemed like for most couples. It could be said that their gestures of love were surprisingly understated and indirect, but constant. Their love was as gentle as the flutter of a butterfly's wings, borne by the wind heralding freedom.
But it was just what they needed.
The party ended at midnight. Rosaria, who had entered the party late, was snoozing on the sofa. Barbara, who had turned up after her evening prayers, was shaking her head at her colleague's display, torn between exasperation and friendly affection. Bennett and Fischl had gone home to bed. Klee was nestled beside Rosaria, fast asleep.
As for Albedo, Kaeya, Diluc, Jean and Lisa, with Kaeya being the only one still drinking wine, they were seated in the kitchen, exchanging snippets of conversation.
"Am I correct to say that there are some new developments among us?" Jean asked, slightly drunk.
"Since when did you notice new developments?" chuckled Kaeya, twice as drunk as her.
"Since you asked Albedo to come to your house to deliver your mission report, and when you keep staring at him," said Jean innocently.
Kaeya choked into his drink, while Diluc, disgusted, wrestled his alcohol away from his reach. Lisa, formerly lost in her musings, began to look very interested.
"What are you so embarrassed about?" Diluc huffed at his brother, "I've known you were bisexual since you were sixteen."
Kaeya's bottom lip pushed out into a frown. "Stooooop it."
"Stop what?"
"Whatever it is you're doing."
"Being supportive?"
Kaeya clapped a hand against his face. "I know what comes next."
"Kiss him!" Jean squealed, her teenage self coming out. Diluc looked alarmed.
Albedo looked phased, but sneaked a look at his partner, only to be forced to lean backwards as Kaeya wrapped an arm loosely around his shoulder, grinning deviously.
"Do I have your consent?" Kaeya asked impishly.
"I guess?" Albedo began with uncertainty, "As long as the others don't mind- "
"I'm out of here, personal preference," Diluc said loudly as Kaeya kissed the blond fully on the lips, and Jean whooped in the background. Lisa only smirked. The last thing Kaeya remembered was smiling at the closeness that encompassed his companions and him, before closing his eyes.
The next day, severely hungover and cognisant of the fact that all his guests had left and that his place had been mysteriously cleaned, Kaeya opened Rosaria’s special little something, and found out that she had gifted him with wine concentrate. So Elzer's formula had worked after all. Kaeya was delighted.
He also read Diluc's birthday letter to him, and might or might not have cried his heart out. Happy tears this time. He invited Diluc for lunch with him the next day, even if he had to use force and make a special request for fresh grape juice at the Good Hunter’s. After that, Diluc started to smile on occasion whenever he entered the tavern, and they began to be more pleasant to each other.
Work wasn't as tedious anymore. Or maybe there was something about visiting Albedo everyday, inviting him for a meal, tea time or simply lounging in his laboratory after work, instead of getting stupidly inebriated. On the occasional weekend, Albedo stayed with him, and they got to know each other better at a slow, but comfortable pace. It was unlike what Kaeya had ever envisioned for himself, and thrilling because of it.
Kaeya also met the Dark knight hero more frequently, and they exchanged smirks in the dead of the night, as if unsurprised by the other's presence in their dealings with unsavoury thugs. In a way, it reminded Kaeya that his path was still shrouded in shadows and uncertainty, but that he no longer feared them as much as before.
Perhaps the trust everyone continued to have in him was more than he deserved. But Kaeya felt it was an expectation he could live up to. After all, it was easier to be trusted than it was to be the last hope of Khaenri'ah, a nation which Kaeya had never claimed as his own.