Chapter Text
As night fell over the damaged city the citizens tried to sleep as best as they could. Most only managed a few hours. Morgana went to her chambers, where nothing had been changed since the last time, she had stepped inside it. Not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to herself she wanted till she felt sure everyone else in the castle was either asleep or trying to sleep, she slipped form her chambers and made her way to the knight's quarters. It was a risk, but she had to speak to him before the next morning when everyone would come together and try and make sense of everything that had happened.
She didn't bother to knock. There was no point he would still be asleep. The threadbare curtain hadn't been pulled over the small window giving enough light to see by. Closing the door behind her, she slipped into the room and walked over to the bed where Mordred lay still sleeping as she knew he would be. Placing a hand over his forehead she pulled him out of deep sleep. His eyes opened and shut a few times as he tried to adjust, focus on what he saw.
At first, he was not sure he knew where he was or what had happened, but when he was able to focus on Morgana, he started to put it all together. Her face looked strangely clearer than he had seen it in a long time. She was either holding back a broad smile or tears he didn't know which. It was also hard to tell if he moved to sit up and hug her because he wanted to comfort her or if he wanted some comfort himself. Most likely it was a little of both. It also didn't matter; the end result was the same.
When she pulled apart, she quickly told him about what she had said to Merlin, Gwen and Gwaine. That they wouldn't tell Arthur who he was. The younger boy didn't say much of anything to this. She had expected him to argue with her about it, but he said nothing. It suddenly dawned on the witch that Mordred was alone when she had seen him last, he had been traveling with Kara. Her heart breaking a little for him, Morgana placed a hand on his shoulder. Offering silent sympathy.
Sure, that he would be safe in Camelot, Morgana left him to get some further rest and to get some herself.
Over the next few days, the city of Camelot began to rebuild itself. The damage to the castle would take many months if not years to be fully rebuilt, but the first steps had been taken. Arthur had made a speech to his people the morning after the attack. They gathered in the damaged courtyard. Rather than speak form the balcony he stood on at the bottom of the stairs with them. He spoke of the resilience of the people of the city that they had been hurt, suffered losses, but that they were strong and would rebuild. That they had won the day.
As he spoke these words, he looked around him. His eyes falling on the people he cared about, his family. All here, all alive and well. Looking at him with looks of varying degrees of agreement with his words. As his eyes travelled further over the people gathered around him, he saw those that he would not have been able to name or pick out in such a crowd before, but now he knew their faces and their names, would never be able to forget them again. They were the families of the dead. Some wore a face of blank emotion. Feeling numb to the world. Others not able to fight back the tears and those that landed somewhere in the middle. Those that held back tears but whose face was crumbling under the strain. What could he say to them that would make any difference. Offer them the smallest comfort. Nothing there was nothing he could say.
What he ended up saying was that in the rebuilding of the castle and courtyard a memorial to those lost would be erected. The crowd clapped faintly cheered in agreement. His eyes scanned the crowed again. They fell on the eyes of a young women that had lost her intended. They had planned to marry three days from now. She had wanted to shut herself away, not leaving her bed for the rest of her life, her mother had had to almost drag her here. When she met Arthur's eyes, she looked at him with a strength and assuredness he didn't believe she was possible of. He saw a flash of the person she had been and maybe again.
Arthur ended his speech by proclaiming that he believed that Camelot needed to come together to celebrate their victory, their heroes and the lives of those lost. This was met with greater cheers. Which he took to be an endorsement. He had been in two minds of the point. He told Gwen about it; she had thought it was a good idea but that there maybe those that would not join in the celebration and feel insulted. That their loved ones were being ignored. It was seeing the reaction of the people that convinced him that this was the right thing to do.
It took another few days for the city to heal further, for them to be ready to come together in any kind of celebration. The best place to have such an event would have been the courtyard, but to do it there, where lives had been lost didn't seem right. The training grounds to the back of the castle were chosen instead. From around midday people began to arrive in the appointed space. Many brought food with them. Those that earned a living in the market selling food organized along with the castle's Kitchen staff large tables continuously replenished with a rotating array of food for the people. From the most accomplished musician to the newest apprentice of the art played an endless every changing melody played on.
Arthur had been in his chambers going over the planes for the repairs to the castle and courtyard as well as the memorial that the architect had brought to him. When he heard the sounds and smells drifting up from the training grounds to his open window. Moving to look out of his window he saw the people of Camelot come together in solidarity.
The staff in the castle were told to forget their work for the day and join the rest of the city. The knights quickly too joined the crowed. Their presence energized the crowed. Dancing began and some of the knights' organized games for the children. Modified versions of exercises they did in training. The weather for early spring was warm and the sun shone in the almost cloudless sky. There was still a bittersweetness to the day, but also much joy.
Gwen despite being told she didn't have to help, aided the cooks and Merlin in the kitchen prepare the food. When the head cook finally forced her to leave so she could be with the rest of the city, she went straight to Arthur. Finding him and the architect looking down on the crowd from the window. Not giving him a chance to argue she pulled him from the castle and to his people. The young king was a little nervous about joining his people. He had never been scared to interact to go among the people of Camelot. It was in fact one of his favorite things. He was not so oblivious as to not realize that they treated him differently. Even when he was younger, and he snuck out of the castle for some freedom. He knew that everyone knew who he was. They just pretended they didn't to keep him happy. There was no way they could do the same thing now, but they gave him a respectful distance. Letting him enjoy the day too. A day for Camelot to take a breath and heal.
Merlin was only allowed to do the most basic task to help in the kitchen before Giaus came looking for him. He pulled him away and all but dragged him out into the light of the day. As pleased and relived as he was with how things had gone, there was a dark cloud that hung over Merlin. The older man had tried to coax out what was troubling him but didn't get much. The trouble was that Merlin himself was not sure what was troubling him. Maybe a part of him had wanted to tell Arthur the truth. No matter how badly it could have been. He accepted keeping such a large secret form his friends, made peace with it as best as he could. It was not something new to him after all. He had never lied to Arthur's face about it before in such a direct way. Denying who he was. While he didn't want to dwell on it, he was sure apart of what troubled him was Morgana's disappointment in him. She of all people being disappointed in him, judging him. Despite himself he couldn't help wishing her to think better of him.
The witch herself managed to expertly keep herself out of most people's way. There were a few people that had been injured and needed to be kept an eye on that she focused all of her time on. To her great surprise and relief nobody had any complaints about her healing them. She was sure that this was more to do with how they benefited from this specific type of magic and not due to any acceptance of magic as a whole. Mordred of course was one of those that she kept an eye on. He healed quickly as expected and had no long-term damage. Arthur had come to see him on his second day in Camelot. Thanking him for looking out for Gwen. The king recognized the young man right away. Overjoyed that the person that came to his aid had done the same for Gwen. To everyone's relief he didn't focus on the coincidence of it all.
During his stay in the city Mordred spent most of his time with the knights who he shared an area of the castle with. Eylan had been the first he really spoke to. Being the youngest knight, he was the closest in age to him and they had much in Common. Having both travelled much of the kingdom at a young age. Gwaine had also made an effort to speak to Mordred. Letting him know that he knew they had meet before and that his secret was safe with him. Taking the young man under his wing, he made sure he felt comfortable and included while he stayed in the city. Mordred also noticed that Lancelot though he kept more of a distance than Gwaine was also watching over him. Morgana agreed with him that was most likely the case, that Lancelot too had been told about his past by Merlin. It, to her surprise made her happy to see Mordred being accepted by the tightknit group. She knew that what he had always wanted deep down was to feel like he fit into the wider world. Seeing it happen and the normally caucus and quiet young man open up around his new friends warmed her heart. It pained her a little too. Magic had brought her much and cost her just as much, it was the same for Mordred too. Seeing him further turn form it pained her, but it was not her place or anyone else's to tell him how to live his life. She just hoped that he would not be disappointed.
Arthur had mostly kept some distance from Merlin. Saying that he had much planning to do for the rebuilding of the castle. Work Merlin could not help with and so he should take the time to rest and recover. This was a relief to Merlin at first, but as time went on, he worried that it had been less of a kind gesture on Arthur's part and a way for the king to avoid having to interact with him. Whether this was due to Arthur feeling guilty about doubting Merlin or remaining doubt he didn't know. He didn't know which was worse. Arthur feeling guilty for being right or that Arthur knew he was being lied to. Morgana also kept her distance, but she was doing that with everyone that wasn't Mordred or Gwen. So, he didn't take it as personally. He was also a little relived. He didn't know if he could stand to see her looking at him with such disappointment. He would even rather she looked at him with distain as she used to than disappointment.
Somehow in all of the chaos and confusion of the past few days Arthur had been able to keep word of the attack from reaching his father, in his small estate to the west of the kingdom. While they had won the day, he didn't want to give his father any reason to think that he was failing at ruling. The former king had made few attempts to be involved or even informed in the goings on in the city. He wrote regularly with Arthur, but never gave any real input into the running of the kingdom. Uther showed little sign that he would rush back to the city and take control, but Arthur couldn't help but worry that it would happen eventually. Maybe in time. When he finally married Gwen, he would feel more secure in his position as king. It had been an inevitable fact that he had known all his life, that he would be king, but it felt so fragile somehow.
As the evening began to draw in a few bonfires were built and hot food was cooked over them. Some of the knights carried up barrels of wine and ale form the castle store to quench everyone's thirst. The temperature began to drop and many quickly nipped back to their homes to collect cloaks or change into warmer clothes. Gwen returned to the castle to change and to take the opportunity to find Morgana and bring her out to join everyone. As she headed back, she caught sight of Mordred sitting on a log by a fire that had a large hog being spit roasted over it. He sat between Eylan and Percival, all three looked to Gwaine. Who sat next to Leon on their right and was holding all of their attention with a story that she was sure was filled with much action and humor. It warmed her heart to see the young man fitting in so well after what he had done for her. It surprised her but she didn't feel as guilty as she thought she would by keeping who the boy was from Arthur. The king had taken a shine to the boy and had spent most of the afternoon giving him a tour of the castle and grounds. He clearly enjoyed Mordred's company and Mordred his. What difference did it make where the boy had been raised. He was a brave and moral young man who deserved the chance to choose for himself the kind of life he wanted to lead. If everyone was happy, what difference did such a small point matter.
As much as Mordred was beginning to mean to the knights and Arthur as well as herself, Gwen knew he meant infinitely more to Morgana. She had risked her life form him and would do so again. Maybe if Mordred made his home hear it would give Morgana more of a reason to stay. At least spend more time in the city. Both she and Arthur had made Morgana promise that she would stay, at least until they were finally married. She of course had agreed without any real persuasion needed. After that no one knew.
Gwen found Morgana where she expected to find her, in her chambers reading a book by the window. Her room overlooked the west of the city, she didn't have a view of the training grounds, but you could hear the voices and music fairly clearly and smell a hint of the food being cooked through the slightly open window.
"I'm not going back without you." Gwen said as he closed the door behind her. She was not going to take no for an answer. Morgana opened her mouth to reply but was cut off. "It is as much your celebration as it is anyone else's."
While never a passive person Morgana had been struck by how Gwen had grown in confidence and authority since she had last seen her. It was not that she had been a shrinking violet, but she had been careful not to take up much space. Now she was unafraid to take up space and make her presence and thoughts known. She still had her warm and calm nature she was just more willing to speak her mind. The change in Arthur had been what his sister had expected and hoped for. That he measured his actions by thinking carefully about his choices. Spoke too and listened to those around him. Vauled and respected their options and greater knowledge of specific areas. The change in Gwen was a little surprising, but very welcome. Arthur needed and respected her calmer nature and her knowledge about what it truly meant to be a citizen in Camelot. That she would speak openly and honestly with him was expected but to do so in her interactions with others was not. It confirmed to Morgana that she had made the right choice to believe in them. Not accepting any excuses form her former mistress, the future queen pulled out a dress from Morgana's wardrobe. Handing it to her she left to change into a warmer dress herself as the cool night air crept in. Promising to be back quickly and that she expected to find Morgana changed when she did.
Gwen returned shortly dress in a beautiful dress of gold with light blue embellishments. The shimmering fabric of the dress gave her a warm glow. The former maid who had used to walk with a steady pace of purpose and stood straight. Now she seemed to stand taller and glide smoothly. Morgana complemented her on her dress and accepted none for the deep green velvet dress she wore. Her hair hanging down lose, were Gwen's now as long as hers was pulled back into a lose bun at the back of her neck.
The ladies stepped out onto the training grounds as the music grew louder and more people began to dance. Many stopped took a moment to turn and look, as the witch and future queen joined the crowd. Morgana was used to this kind of attention and had grown to hate it. Long before the attention turned hostile. Noone looked at her today with open hostility or distrust. A fact she attributed to the nature of the gathering. They also only looked at her briefly before their attention turned to Gwen. Who made her way through the crowd towards the dancing. Stopping briefly a number of times to speak to the people she passed. Joining Arthur near a bonfire that was cooking three chickens. The golden couple of Camelot.
Morgana slipped into the crowd unnoticed and moved towards a table covered with bottles of wine and glasses. While she did not turn to meet them there was one pair of eyes, one person that didn't turn to watch Gwen as they arrived, that stayed watching her, Merlin.
The warlock stood a little apart from the group of knights with Mordred. The younger man didn't look in his direction after he gave him a nod and tight smile when Merlin joined the group. Merlin had chosen over the last few days, seeing how quickly Mordred fitted into the group of knights that he called friends. Arthur and Gwen too growing found of him. That he would not tell Arthur Mordred's history. Who was he after all to judge anyone for not being honest about who they were. Mordred had also put himself in danger to aid Arthur and Gwen. If he held any hostility towards those in power in Camelot, then it did not include a willingness to kill anyone. When he looked up and saw Gwen and Morgana joining the crowd, he realized the real reason he would keep quit. Morgana met his gaze for a split second then quickly turned away. He didn't want her to continue looking at him with such disappointment. It was somehow worse than when she used to look at him with distain.
Turning back to the group he smiled as everyone laughed at Gwaine's story about his winning a resent card game. Taking a ring from one of his opponents when he had run out of money to bet. When he lost the man quickly got on his knees and begged Gwaine to let him keep the ring. which of course he did, but after making sure the man never made a bet, he wasn't prepared to honor ever again. Merlin tried to let out a laugh, but only a halfhearted sound came out. Morgana had her back to him now as she picked up a glass of wine from the table before her. Quickly he downed the tankard in his hand and moved to get another. As he moved away, he noticed Arthur looking to him. Giving him a look that said he was not surprised. He guessed this was why Arthur always believed when he was told Merlin in the tavern. He wasn't doing himself any favors.
When Morgana turned around Merlin was standing in front of her. She was going to speak, but Merlin spoke first.
"I won't say anything."
"Of course not." Her tone slightly patronizing, but a hint of humor to it.
She moved to leave, but he caught her arm lightly. "Why do you care so much." She knew he was asking about the topic at hand.
"I don't...I just feel sorry for you."
Before he had the chance to say anymore, they were interrupted by a young girl that had recently started working in the kitchens. She had dark curly hair and a face covered in freckles, with large grey eyes. Her name was Mari and she had quickly developed an affection for Merlin. Her self-consciousness in asking him to dance, and the awkward way Merlin reacted. Finding no way to refuse her request, brought a genuine smile to Morgana's face. With a small chuckle she left them. Making her way over to the Mordred and the knights as the hog was being removed from the spit to be eaten. She had only had one sip of wine and her head had already begun to spin a little. When she joined them, she quickly told Lancelot of Merlin and Mari about to join the dancers and he turned to watch as the couple in question joined the other pairs. He smiled a wide smile towards his friend as Morgana did, but his seemed less mocking than Morgana's had. Quickly everyone else, even Arthur and Gwen turned to watch Merlin take to the makeshift dance floor. Morgana slipped away to get some water to try and stop her head from spinning.
As everyone expected the warlock moved awkwardly, with no rhythm whatsoever. Mari didn't seem to mind or didn't notice. She moved in time with the others enjoying being a part of the celebration. The constant movement and all the people so close began to make Merlin feel a little dizzy. The two pints of ale and little food played its part as well, he was sure. Tripping over his own feet he knocked into the girl dancing next to him. Apologizing he moved to leave the dancing space as quickly as possible. Tripping again he fell to the ground. He watched as he saw feet moving towards him before his eyes closed and it all went black.
It was hard to tell how long he had been unconscious before he heard a voice in the darkness. A lyrical voice he couldn't believe was human.
"All is well, there is no reason to fear. Avalon is waiting."
Then he heard his name being called by a voice he knew all too well was human. With a groan of irritation, he opened his eyes to see Arthur and Lancelot kneeling next to him. He tried to pull himself up but was gently but firmly pushed back by Lancelot.
"Rest a minute." Lancelot said.
"If you didn't want to dance you could have just said." Arthur teased, but concern was clear in his voice.
Merlin mock laughed as he was helped to sit up.
Mari was quickly by his side, asking if he was alright. He didn't answer her or turn to face her. He looked forward, past the crowd that half looked in his direction and half at those that continued dancing. Past them all to the door leading back into the castle. Down the dark corridor where Morgana with a hand on the wall to steady herself looked out form the darkness at him. She met his eyes, and he knew that she like him had fainted and had heard what he had. He was grateful she had been he assumed, been more aware of what was coming and moved to leave the crowd. It would raise far too many questions if they had been seen to faint at the exact same time. Quickly with some help from Lancelot he stood up. Assuring everyone he was fine he just needed some water and to sit down for a minute somewhere quiet. Before anyone could say anything to try and stop him, he left. Walking through the door towards Morgana. Who had moved further back into the corridor so they wouldn't be seen. Walking along the dark corridor he stopped when he got to a small alcove that led to a storeroom. Morgana stood leaning back against the closed door.
"I think we have to go to Avalon."
It wasn't a question, more a statement. One that Merlin couldn't disagree with.