Chapter Text
Send help
Big moth: gender has escalated
Big moth: WIAT FUCK SHIT FUCK THSI IS THGED WRONJRFG GC
Big moth: well
Big moth: uh
Big moth: this is akward
Supreme elder trans: LMFAO
Ace race: …
Wilbyr: TOMMY NOO-
Arsonist: HAH
Arsonist: @Pretty boy privilege
Pretty boy privilege: DAMMIT
Big moth: wait did you guys have a fucking bet on me
Arsonist: uh
Big moth: how much
Arsonist: $15
Big moth: wow
Supreme elder trans: AGAJKHDAL
Fundy: again?
Big moth: WTF DOS YUOIJ NEAMNS AGAIN???
Supreme elder trans: THATS HOW ERET CAME OUT
Big moth: O H
Supreme elder trans: also wtf were the two sides of the bet???
Arsonist: george’s theory about the thing you guys were being so secretive about was that bench trio was secretly in a qpr and trying to hide it from everyone
Big moth: still technically wrong so
Wilbyr: WHA
Rnaboo: not really a secret?
Green bastard: I just woke up why do I have so many notifications
Green bastard: oh
Big moth: so who’s gonna explain to the rest of the gc cause it aint me
Supreme elder trans: NOT IT
Wilbyr: tommy’s agender and using they/them now
Rnaboo: oh damn
Ace race: well that was easy
Pretty boy privilege: I LOST 15 DOLLARS ON TECHNICALITY????
Hoghunt: hah L
Hoghunt: so who’s telling phil?
Big moth left the group
Rnaboo added Tommyinnit to the group
Rnaboo renamed Tommyinnit to No gender AND no women
No gender AND no women: FJCUK YHJOU I GDETY SO MSANY BICTDHESW ANADA SO MANY WIVES YOU BCIDTH
Ace race renamed No gender AND no women to Making up for gender with spouses
Making up for gender with spouses: fjcuk all ofr yoj
Green bastard: I can’t say I expected this
Bench tri
NUKES: okay but ur actually good rn bossthem, ye? Do we need to come over
POG: yes I’m fine
POG: but you could come over if you’ve got nothing better to do
NUKES: :D
POG: stfu
NUKES: D:
POG: wait not don’t be sad
GENDER: sobbinf
NUKES: vanessa
NUKES: I forgor
GENDER: I’LL KILL YOU
Chaos fucks
Homeless teletubby: is tommy okay? He sorta stopped responding but is still online?
JD kinnie: pretty sure tubbo’s over so yea
Homeless teletubby: got it
Send help
Resident elder trans: I am prone to pyromania, yes?
Arsonist: yes
Resident elder trans: and I have money, yes?
Rnaboo: much of it mine, yes
Resident elder trans: and candles :>
Rnaboo: …
Rnaboo: tubbo
Resident elder trans: :>
Arsonist: how many
Resident elder trans: 12
Gremlin: tubbo wh a t
Rnaboo: but why
Resident elder trans: FOR FIRE >:]]
Rnaboo: hate it here
Private message between Dream and Tommyinnit
Dream: also I know it was an accident but I'm very proud of you for coming out :]
Tommyinnit: thjank ou deeam:DD
Dream: are you alright?
Tommyinnit: hrcadacje
Tommyinnit: hey this is Ranboo, Tommy's having a hard time typing right now
Dream: oh is everything alright?
Tommyinnit: just fine! they say thank you (:
Dream: okay you three stay safe
Tommyinnit: we will
Platonic honeymoon
Spouses haver: PURPLED :DDD
Amethyst: Heya Toms
Amethyst: Need anything?
Spouses haver: jus wanted to talk to u :]
Amethyst: assuming ranboo and tubbo are with you?
Spouses haver: they r!!
Spouses haver: miss u ]]:
Enderbitch: yeah purp, how come you never hang out at Toms' with us?
Amethyst: why am I being guilt tripped
Spouses haver: puurppppp D:
Amethyst: ..
Goatbee: yeah Purpled
Amethyst: I hate all of you (lie)
Amethyst: Do you want me to come over?
Spouses haver: YES
Enderbitch: what Toms said
Goatbee: 4/4 platonic marriage fyck yeah
"Allium?" xe glanced down. They looked up at xem and smiled.
"hi"
xe smiled back "hello"
Tubbo hip checked the door, drinks and snacks in his hands. It was like a dangerous game of tetris; one wrong move and you lose. Xe stood up to take the drinks from him. Root beer, Root beer, Chocolate milk.
"So how long do you think it's gonna take to get here?" Bee settled on the carpet next to Tommy.
"20 minutes max"
"I'm gonna go with 5"
"5?" They laughed slightly.
"you underestimate it's determination"
The Apartment™
Furry: slime
Slime: fundy from schlatts apartment :]
Furry: where are the cherrios
Ram: you ate them all
Furry: oh
Duck: I can pick you guys up some while I'm out
Ram: thx pumpkin that'd be nice
Furry: h
Slime: thank you quackity from Las Nevadas!
Ram: tf us a lad navafas
Duck: it's complicated
Furry: holy shit I keep losing things >:[
Furry: I can't find one of my notebooks
Ram: most of them r at the desk
Furry: wait
Duck: waiting?
Furry: shit I might have left it at my parent's
Slime: I could get it for you, Fundy from Schlatt's apartment :>
Furry: w
Furry: actually sure
Furry: feel free to
Slime: please keep at least one entrance open
Furry: I think the door is always open?
Ram: normally
Duck: that can't be safe
Ram: you rely think someone's going to break into my shitty apartment?
Duck: thats fair
Father figures
Eret: Wilbur
Wilbur: yes?
Eret: marry me
Wilbur: .
Wilbur: okay lmao
Eret: <3
Wilbur: <3
Schlatt: imagine
Fundy: why are you three like thsi
Wilbur: unreliable authors figures growing up
Schlatt: and druygs
Wilbur: yeah those too
Eret: sorry yeah
Eret: well vodka for me
Wilbur: oooh good taste
Cisn't
Oranged: names shouldn't exist
Bicon: like in general or?
Oranged: yes
Oranged: or
Bicon: Ivmean fair
Boyboss: I'm so sorry about that funky color thing
Oranged: see that is how I want to be acknowledged
Flower god: would you like us to stop calling you Purpled? /genq
Oranged: no it's fine Purpled is a nickname too
Bicon: wait it is
Oranged: did you think my parents named me after a color
Gaslight: do you think my parents named me Ranboo
Oranged: .
Oranged: that's fair
Boyboss: omg ur like an eldritch deity that we have to make up nicknames for lest we anger it
Oranged: that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Boyboss: that's sad
Gaslight: mood tbh
Bicon: hey would you guys have any problem if I added Slime?
Duck: my chjld
Boyboss: THE SLIME MAN?? POG
Oranged: I don't :]
Flower god: speak now or forever hild your peace
Boyboss: going once
Boyboss: going twice
Gaslight: sold?
Bicon added Slimecicle to the chat
Boyboss renamed Slimecicle funky slime dude
Boyboss: HELLO SLIME MAN
funky slime dude: hello Tubbo from L'manburg!
Bicon: hey Slime :) pronouns?
funky slime dude: of course Eret formerly of L'manburg, give me a minute :)
Boyboss: FORNERLY OG LMANBURG SJDJEBEKWLSO
funky slime man: he/him/his/himself, sli/slime/slimes/slimeself, goo/goop/goops/goopself, it/its/itself
Bicon: thank you :]!
Duck: hello my son
funky slime man: quackity from Las nevadas :D!
Oranged: slime
funky slime man: purpled from nowhere
Anarchy: does anyone know where Tommy is
Oranged: they're asleep
Anarchy: ok cool thx
Boyboss: funky slime person how r u
funky slime man: I am well! how are you Tubbo?
Boyboss: I am well too
funky slime man: well then
Gaslight: well then!
funky slime man: .
Gaslight: I
Boyboss: I hate it here
funky slime man: don't worry we all turn into dust one day :>
Walmart kitsune: there I days where I question Slime even being mortal
funky slime man: :>
Walmart kitsune: no you can't have my food
funky slime man: >:<
Oranged: anyway
Oranged: gender time
Oranged: he/it/pur? (pur/purp) kinda nice
Bicon: do you want me to update the doc then?
Oranged: that would be nice
Bicon: I did it!
Father figures
Wilbur: we should go for dinner again sometime
Fundy: if we do can bug q and slime come along? they've been hanging out at the apartment a lot more
Wilbur: img big q??
Wilbur: ofc they can
Eret: where do you eanna go for food
Schlatt: you two could just come over and I could make something
Fundy: /I/ could make something. I'd prefer to not have hot pockets
Schlatt: to each their own
Wilbur: Saturday?
Schlatt: sure
Fundy: I'll go tell slime and q
Eret: tell them I said hi!!
Wilbur: ^^
The Apartment™
Furry: Wilbur and Eret are coming over for dinner saturday!!
Duck: oh, worm?
Slime: I have not met Eret irl
Slime: I'd like to :>
Furry: cool!
Slime: what is Eret formerly from L'manburg like in person
Furry: omg she's so cool he takes me shopping sometimes and they r so ahdhsbdkekwo7duwbw
Slime: they seem nice
Furry: they are
Slime: I will keep this in mind, Fundy from Schlatt's apartment
Furry: ??
Slime: :>!