Chapter Text
Tommy, Sapnap, and George were all sitting on the couch, heads down in shame as Dream paced in front of them.
"Boys" he began, "I think we need to have a serious talk"
He stopped in front of the three of them, shot out a string to grab a pillow, and hit them each on the head with it
"WHAT. WERE. YOU. THINKING???? YOU" he aggressively pointed at Sapnap "STOP EATING GEORGE'S LEFTOVERS FOR PRIMES SAKE"
George started snickering while Sapnap took it like a champ (what a guy), and Dream turned to face George now "Don't think I've forgotten about you! Please stop trying to kill Sapnap. I understand that you don't want him eating your stuff but come on"
George scowled and looked away
Sapnap poked his head up "Hey! What about Tommy?!"
"What about him?"
Tommy perked up too
"Wait I'm not in trouble?"
"No"
Sapnap gasped dramatically and pointed at Dream "FAVOURITISM!!!!"
Dream looked at him, offended, before picking up a now screaming and thrashing and biting Tommy "I'm not playing favourites! Tommy hasn't done anything wrong. Isn't that right Tommy?"
"-UT ME DOWN YOU FUCKING GREEN TELETUBY MANIAC BITCH I'M NOT A FUCKING CHILD PUT ME DOWN I WILL BITE YOU I WILL END YOUR FUCKING BLOODLINE I WILL CHANGE YOUR CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO LITTLE GREEN AND MAKE SAM BIG GREEN DON'T FUCKING TEST ME BITCH I WILL BITE YOU I AM ABOUT TO FUCKING BITE YOU YOU LITTLE-"
Dream started patting Tommy's hair "Shh shh it's alright! See? Isn't he just an angel!"
Tommy started barking and frothing at the mouth and shit has he gotten his rabies shot yet? Ruh roh raggy
George stared in disbelief while Sapnap started yelling again
"HE HAS THREATENED TO BITE YOU MULTIPLE TIMES!!"
"And?"
"HE HELPED GEORGE BEAT ME UP BEFORE SOMEHOW BEATING US BOTH UP AT THE SAME TIME"
"Uh huh. Him, a 19 year old child with noodles for arms and twigs for legs beat up two fully grown men who trained to be heroes for years, and have been active heroes for even longer. Because that's believable"
"THAT KID IS A FUCKING MENACE"
Dream made a tut-tut-tut sound as he patted Tommy's hair again, acting like a mother defending her baby
"Sapnap you're getting rather worked up aren't you?"
"I AM NOT FUCKING-"
"XD?" George finally spoke
"Sapnap is incredibly quote on quote worked up, and it is recommended that he drink some water and take a nap"
George shrugged and smiled slyly "If XD says it, it must be true."
"I can also see that you George, could deffinately use some water and sleep. Running entirely on five cans of Monster Energy and two cups of black coffee is very unhealthy"
George turned red while Tommy and Sapnap started cackling
Dream stared at George for a moment
"Gogy"
"Dream-"
"COME HERE GEORGE YOU LITTLE-"
Tommy screeched as he was dropped by Dream, who was now chasing George and Sapnap. Tommy, like the amazing employee that he was, took a video of it.
Twitter will love this.
Tommy smiled at his phone, before the screaming got louder, and suddenly, there was string wrapped around his waist
"Shit-" was all Tommy could make out before he was yanked to the couch, where Dream had Sapnap and George tied to it already, unable to escape.
"Now, you three can sleep peacefully for the next two hours, unless something comes up and I have to wake you, or, I could knock you out until the day is over, and you will be forced to miss out on work, patrol, and even emergencies, getting you in trouble with Schlatt. Pick your poison"
Sapnap did not like his choices
"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SLEEP BITCH I'LL JUST WAKE UP AND-" Dream pulled out a small glass bottle with a cork in it and a paper label hanging from the neck of it out. Inside was a shimmering liquid that seemed like it couldn't pick a color to be, so it just used them all. There was purple, indigo, blue, and even little bits of pink swirling around in it.
"Now Sapnap, don't make me use this!"
Sapnap paled and instantly got comfortable and pretended to sleep "Goodnight Dream!!"
Tommy looked over to George and saw that he was out like a light too
Fuckin pussies
"What's in the bottle?"
Dream smiled devilishly "Why Tommy, a few floors up, there is a floor that is entirely dedicated to learning more about powers. Specifically, powers of villains and vigilantes. This is meant to replicate the effects of Astral's power, and Sapnap just so happened to have been the main tester for it. It forces you to sleep instantly, as well as inducing horrifying nightmares, and it works pretty much exactly like his power!"
"Ohhhh... OH-"
It dawned on Tommy what exactly it did and he instantly got comfortable as well and fake slept, listening for Dream's footsteps to leave, before actually relaxing, and falling into a (thankfully) dreamless slumber
Dream walked back into the lounge area, expecting to see the others planning an escape, but instead saw them all actually sleeping!
He was pleasantly surprised, to say the least, to see his two favourite people, and the kid he got way to attatched to way to quickly all peacfully sleeping.
So pleased in fact, that he decided to take a totally-not-blackmail picture of them, to which George opened his eyes
Dream expected glaring, or to get flipped off, but instead George smiled, winked, and mouthed "Send it to me"
Dream gave his own smile in return and gave a thumbs up before leaving.
It took about three seconds for George to realize it had been not two, but three hours, and for the yelling and chaos to resume
Thank fuck it's Friday
Tommy, George, and Sapnap each grabbed a pillow, before tip toeing over to Dream's office.
Tommy peeked through a crack near the hinges, and saw Dream sitting on his phone.
His office was a lot different from Tommy's. For starters, it was fucking BIG. Like, double the size of Tommy's. It's walls were painted beige, but you could barely see them anyways, due to all of the things hung up. Letters, art, pictures, picture frames that still had the stock photo they came with in them, and much much more lined the walls.
It was kinda cool
Against the right wall was a shelf filled with gifts and trinkets from various fans, friends, and family. In the middle back of the room was a big desk with a fancy two-moniter PC, and a faded green rolly chair, and currently had the city's number 1 hero sitting in it, and behind him, just like in Tommy's office, was a massive window that took up the entire wall
It was a lot, to say the least
Tommy pointed to himself, before making a walking motion with his hands, showing him sneaking into Dream's office, and showing them the plan, which was for him to sneak in, and for them to wait for the signal.
It only took three tries for them to understand! Usually it took Tubbo and Ranboo like seven!! (hence why they all learned ASL, a language that nobody uses in L'manburg, since it isn't America, that is completely silent)
Tommy gave a thumbs up, before getting down and slipping through the door, quickly getting behind a very big, very convinient potted plant. Dream didn't notice, so Tommy took that as a sign to keep going.
He hid behind various gifts, shelves, piles of trash (dirty motherfucker), and finally ended up right behind him. He noticed George's dark brown eye staring through the door crack, and mouthed
"Three, two, one"
Before smacking Dream on the head with the pillow
"AAH-" Dream yelped, dropping his phone in the process
"NOW GUYS" Tommy yelled, and George and Sapnap came barreling in, hitting Dream with their pillows too, everyone now giggling
Payback's a bitch >:)
Tommy had been working for about and hour now, before deciding to take a quick snack break
About a week ago, George bought everyone these popcicles that had no popcicle sticks. They were delicious
So delicious in fact, that Tommy ate three, then called dibs on the last one, when it came to that point.
The final popcicle was a red one, his favourite of the flavours
He had left it there for today, as a special treat for the last day of the week
He hummed a little tune as he walked over to the fridge, opening the freezer drawer, and reaching his in for the icy cold delight that was his red popcicle
Or, what should have been the icy cold delight that was his red popcicle
The spot was empty.
Tommy inhaled, before yelling out to the rest of the floor "GUYSSS!!!"
Sapnap, George, and Dream all came rushing in
"What's wrong Tommy?" Sapnap asked as he skidded to a stop
"Did something happen?" George inquired, panting from the run
"Are you alright?" Dream questioned, looking around for any threats
"Who ate the last popcicle."
The three paled, and Sapnap and George quickly pointed to Dream, successfully ratting him out
"Hey! I didn't do it I swear-"
Tommy slowly turned his gaze over to Dream, looking him in the eyes
Dream shrunk under the gaze of the tall teen
"Did you eat my popcicle Dreaming Wastaken?"
Sapnap and George winced at the use of Dream's full name. How did Tommy even know it??
"I'm going to ask you one more time Dream. Did you eat my pop-"
"I DID! I GIVE IN!! I ATE THE LAST POPCICLE! I WAS HOT AND TIRED AND HUNGRY AFTER PATROL SO I TOOK IT WITHOUT THINKING! I BEG FOR MERCY PLEASE-"
"I KNEW IT! I'M TELLING SAM"
Dream paled further (if that was even possible)
"Tommy- Let's be reasonable-"
"Reasonable my ass! You disobeyed the rules of dibs! You fucked up Dream." Tommy smiled as he raced for the stairs, as the elevator would take too long.
He parkoured all the way down, skipping steps, and jumping onto landings from stairways high above, before he made it to the 26th floor, the floor with Sam's workshop.
He burst through the door and weaved through the different aisles of gadgets, before finally finding the man on a snack break.
He hid behind a shelf for a second, working up a sad face, and getting ready to cry if he needed to
He sniffled before peeking out from behind the shelf
"S-Sam?" he asked, grabbing the attention of the older man
He instantly got up and rushed to Tommy's side
"Hey Tommy- What's wrong? Did something happen?"
Tommy sniffled again, making himself seem small and vulnerable, and pretending to try not to cry
He always was quite the theatre kid
"Well- I was going to have a-a popcicle because I was sniffle hungry, but when i was opening it, Dream he- he took it! And- and he laughed as he ate my popcicle right in frint of m-me. All I- sniffle wanted was a small treat! I haven't had anything else to eat all d-day, so I thought it'd be f-fine.."
10/10. Tommy should get an award for best actor here because ho-ly SHIT that was great. Just to sell the deal though, he hugged Sam, saying how he was "sorry for interupting him" and how "he didn't mean to bother him"
"Hey it's alright kiddo-"
Just then, Dream burst through the door, a snickering Sapnap and George following behind
"Sam!! Don't believe a word he says I didn't mean to- Shit."
Tommy turned his head to look at them, quickly grinning and sticking out his tongue, before hiding further into Sam's embrace
Too fucking late bitch
"Dream...."
"Sam! Would ya look at the time? I really gotta get going hah hah-"
Sam looked to Tommy for a moment "Hey Tommy, do you mind if I step away for a moment?" he asked softly
"Not at all" Tommy broke from the hug as Sam stalked towards Dream
Tommy simply smiled (evily) and waved
"Sam- SAM- HELPPP"
Sam started chasing after Dream, and the two of them ran out of the floor
Sapnap and George stood there for a second, before bending over and cackling.
"HOW DID YOU DO THAT- WHEEZE"
Tommy simply huffed triumphantly "A magician never reveals his secret!"
The three of them giggled about the whole situation for another 4 seconds, before Sam burst through the door, holding Dream fireman style over his shoulder
"You mister are grounded!" he exclaimed as he set Dream down in front of a now totally shaking and on the verge of tears Tommy "Now, I want you to apologize to him right now."
"But-" Dream protested
"Dream."
"Yes sir.. Tommy I'm sorry"
"For?"
"Eating the last red popcicle"
"And?"
"And being a dick about it...."
Tommy tapped his finger on his chin mockingly "Hmm..... Guys should I accept his apology?" He asked Sapnap and George, who were trying their damn hardest not to burst into laughter on the spot
"No! No m- snort No mercy!!" Sapnap cheered
Tommy thought for anither moment "Meh, I forgive you Dream-"
"THANK YOU TOMMY-"
"if-"
"Oh no.."
"If you take us all out for ice cream at that fancy ice cream place across the street and pay for everything"
"But-"
Sam raised and eyebrow at Dream, who sighed
"Fine.. I'll get you your damn ice cream"
Tommy perked up "Thank you Dream!!!" he sang, before picking him up over his shoulder and carrying him to the elevator
The three left behind stared in shock at the small twig of a boy carrying the hero, before Sapnap and George scrambled after the two, leaving a very tired Sam
"What the fuck...."
Tommy got to the house later that evening, after some ice cream and shenanigans with the Dream Team, and immediately got into his vigilante gear, happily streatching his wings
The night before, he had forgotten to release his wings from their binding, so he had his wings hidden for over 24 hours.
Ouch.
He sneakily made his way to the city, jumping on rooftops and feeling the wind in his hair
He felt free
Tommy stopped when he heard a scream
Oh yeah he has a job to do
He quickly raced across rooftops in the direction he heard the scream from and scanned the area, before seeing a person on the floor, and someone in dark clothing running away with a baby blue backpack
He was about to jump down and help, when he saw Fireball swoop in and start chasing the criminal
Now, as stated before, Tommy was not very smart, and while Sapnap may know that Tommy was Hermes, that doesn't mean he won't turn him in if people are watching.
Tommy didn't think as he dropped down to help the yellow and pink cat hybrid up.
"Are you alright?" he asked
The cat dusted themself off "Yeah I think so, but that fucker better be careful. I don't want my dandys getting crushed"
"Your what?"
"Dandelions!!"
"Why do you have dandelions in your backpack?"
"To feed my child!!!!"
"You what-"
Tommy was cut off by a sudden bright light, and when he turned around, yep. It was fire. There was a bush on fire.
Poor heroes don't know how to deal with petty criminals
Tommy sighed before leaping into the air (with a bit of trouble considering the condition his wings were in) and soaring over to the fight, where the thief was cornered in an alley
"Oi!! Fireball! I think that's enough fire!!!" he hollered, causing the attention to go to him
"Hermes? What are you doing here?"
"I'm on patrol? Duhh. Also, I know you big shots are used to dealing with incredibly dangerous and very evil supervillains, but I don't think that much fire is necessary for a petty criminal like him. All that backpack's got are dandelions by the way Mr.Thief, so I don't think this was worth all the trouble"
The criminal cursed before dropping the bag, and Sapnap seemed torn between acting like the vigilante-hating hero people think he is, and helping out Tommy, which Tommy found quite funny
"You done gaping like a fish? The criminal's getting away, and I don't think it'd look very good on you if you let 'em go" an unsaid 'go chase him and leave me' went unsaid, but Sapnap still heard it loud and clear, and with little hesitation, he set off to capture the thief
Tommy strode over and picked up the bag, careful not to crush the weeds in it, and brougt it back to the civilian safe and sound
All in a day's (night's?) work
The blonde flew up to another rooftop, about to start his rounds again, when someone tapped his shoulder, promptly scaring the shit out of him
"Hermes what are you doing out here?"
Tommy gulped at the sound of Shulk's voice
Fuck he forgot to let his friends know he was going out
"Heyyy!! Shulk, my friend, my partner!! In crime of course, not in any other way ahaha.. How are you on this fine..." he looked up to see that the moon was further west "morning? Don't you have like school or something tomorrow? Honestly T- Shulk, you should really go to bed-"
"Hermes"
"Yes Shulk?"
"You know it's Saturday now right?"
"Maybe.."
"And you know that I patrol late on Fridays"
"Yes Shulk...."
Tubbo sighed "What will I ever do with you-"
"We could go get ice cream!! Did you know vigilantes can get free ice cream from the Summer Chocolate Bar? The owner Charlie makes amazing homemade ice cream I'm telling you!!"
"No"
"Please?"
"No"
"I'll go to bed right after!"
"... "
"And I won't go on patrol tomorrow!!!!"
Tubbo sighed "Fine.."
Tommy cheered "Yes!! Third unpaid ice cream trip this week!!! I am on a roll!!"
Tubbo laughed at Tommy's antics, and the two raced to the shop (Tubbo winning somehow??), before grabbing some ice cream
Tommy licked his strawberry ice cream topped with chocolate and caramel drizzle, and Tubbo bit into (fucking bit into) his mint and chocolate chip ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and a cherry on top.
"That looks disgusting Tubs"
"Your face looks disgusting"
"What did you just say about my face you little-"
The two giggled and joked together over dessert, Tommy almost falling off the railing they were sitting on, but stabalizing himself quickly, and Tubbo making shapes in the air with his armour.
His most recent, being a penis
"Why am I friends with you" Tommy said between wheezes
"Because," Tubbo stated, "I am just that amazing!!"
They both erupted into a fit of laughter, before throwing out their napkins and heading home, hand in hand
They idly chat, punch a mugger or two, and before either of them know it, they're home or at least, Tubbo's home. Tommy's only at his house. His sleeping place-
"Stop by Niki's tomorrow okay Toms? We can all eat lunch together! And you can being some of your super friends too if you'd like" Tubbo added teasingly
"Oh you little-"
The front door to Tubbo's house swung open, and out stepped Puffy
"Tubbias Benson Underscore Schlatt why are you only coming home at 4 in the morning?"
Tubbo looked to Tommy for help, but Tommy had already turned towards his house across the street "Well Tubs, it's been great knowing you, but I'm afraid I have to sleep so I don't go into working looking like a zombie tomorrow. See you at your funeral!!!" Tommy saulted before sprinting to the Watson household.
o7 soldier. You will be missed.
Tommy prepped Tubbo's funeral in his head as he got ready for bed, before falling asleep almodt instantly.
What a fun day
If only every day were like that