Chapter Text
12:27am
oreo boy: we have to write a paragraph in math about a happy memory but I don't have those so I'm gonna write down the transcript from the hunger games movie
when finnick and annie get married
the internet ruined me: in math class??????
oreo boy: yeah she said that we didn't need to "explain our reasoning" like the text book said and instead do the memory thing
do a flip: why that scene though
oreo boy: because it was the last time I was happy that author crushed my dreams I am NOT OKAY
speed: i heard my name across the spectral plane
OH I CRIED AT THAT PART
IM SO UPSET ABOUT IT TO THIS DAY
potato: I will never forgive her for that.
the internet ruined me: I never read that book so I'm really confused
potato: it's not our fault you're illiterate
the internet ruined me: techno I have a 98 in english class my brother in christ what are you on
do a flip: i found an ostrich!!
child: tubso where the fuck are you
do a flip: dunno
it's raining
oreo boy: tubbo it's 97 degrees and there are no clouds
child: farenhiet fuck
oreo boy: it's Fahrenheit but okay
child: i will stab you
oreo boy: with what you're so small
child: IM 6'3 YOU PRICK
oreo boy: you're quite literally not
child: AKJHYDFVBSUYTEGFDGBJSUY
do a flip: raccoon mode: activated
speed: i found tubbo guys
oreo boy: oh where was he
speed: oh yknow
do a flip: y'know
oreo boy: I don't that's why I'm asking
potato: why is Ranboo so,,,,,, unhinged today
HONK: they're always unhinged they just cover it up to be "civil in public" like a loser
oreo boy: losers come last in kahoot and last I checked I got first so.
speed: ranboo stayed up all last night crying about a character in their favorite tv show that died
oreo boy: DONT TALK ABOUT IT
IM GRIVEING
SHUT UP
the internet ruined me: off topic but wow my ears are ringing at a deeper tone than normal this is weird
potato: Wilbur don't spontaneously combust Phil would cry
child: he would
father: I would
do a flip: raccoon mode: deactivated
tommy's back yay!!
speed: all i can here is "china's back yay!"
no one knows where that's from do they
the internet ruined me: internet addict
speed: wilbur i want you to look at your name and rethink every choice you have ever made
are you sure they were good ones?
how many people have you fucked over just to get what you wanted most?
how many times could you have stopped something from permanently changing someone's life?
the internet ruined me: can I like not do that
speed: free country or smth idk
the internet ruined me: pog
potato: Dream just went full on psychological attack there okay then
speed: why not yknow
wilbur wanna play mario kart
the internet ruined me: sure
potato: sapnap did you accidentally expose us all to toxic fumes again
speed: he says no
potato: why didn't he just say it himself
speed: he dropped his phone in the lake
george is currently wrestling with callahan over who gets to go fish it out
the internet ruined me: its very amusing
potato: Wilbur the house isn't near the lake how did you get there I didn't hear teleporting noises
the internet ruined me: i was at niki's
potato: ,,,,,,,,who's in the house then
oh it's a slime creature
speed: oh i know him
potato: what
speed: what
potato: anyways I want french fries
PHILZAAAAAAAAAAA
father: You can drive Techno
potato: I don't wanna
father: Fine
potato: wooooooooooo
father: Wait why is Ranboo at school it's Saturday
oreo boy: oh i'm not i just forgot to do the homework and for some reason she makes us send pictures of the friday homework on saturday so we don't just like do
it monday morning or smth which fair enough i guess but it's still bullshit
speed: i know exactly who you mean i got kicked out of her class because i threw a book at her
potato: yeah and then you got moved to the higher up class (without me might I add) against literally all of the odds
speed: yeah our school system is weird
potato: If I was the school system I would not praise you for throwing a book at a faculty member
speed: on day one as well!! :D
potato: how have you not been expelled yet
speed: skilz
potato: Not spelling skills I see
speed: im going to shove my shoelaces down your throat.
potato: you're wearing crocs today
speed: no im not???
potato: I swear you were when I saw you run by our house this morning
speed: oh yeah that was earlier
now ive got converses on
potato: you've gained some style points
oreo boy: ON THE NEXT MATH EXPLINATION WE HAVE TO SUBSTITUTE IT WITH OUR FAVORITE COLOR
I HAVE LIKE FOUR WHAT THE FUCK AM I MEANT TO DO
speed: lie
potato: write all four
do a flip: burn it
child: steal a cow
potato: you don't need another cow Tommy, Henry is enough to deal with
child: youre just upset dad wont let you get a sting ray
father: Sting Rays killed Steve Irwin. I do not tolerate their kind.
oreo boy: who?
potato: okay even I know who that is
speed: ive failed as a sibling
do a flip: MY BEES JUST BROUGHT ME A KNIFE
FUCK THAT GIRL IN 4TH GRADE WHO SAID BEES COULDNT BE ALTERNATIVES FOR CARRIER PIGEONS
speed: this is a big day for us
do a flip: a very big day.
father: Tubbo I do not want to have to confiscate your bees.
do a flip: you cant possibly confiscate every bee alive
speed: surely that breaks some law
potato: anything breaks a law somewhere
in Louisiana it's illegal to send a pizza to someone's house if they're unaware of it's possible arrival
child: is it pronounced "louis-ee-anna" or "louie-ee-ana-
the internet has ruined me: how are you so wrong
child: I NEVER TOOK AMERICAN OKAY
the internet has ruined me: the name is french??????
america isn't a language??? or a subject for that matter
child: wait is louisiana a town in france
potato: Wilbur you made it worse
speed: tommy its a town in canada
child: oh okay thank you
you would never steer me wrong :D
speed: never :D
oreo boy: DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER THOSE TINY LITTLE WATER GAME BOX THINGS WITH THE RINGS AND YOU HAD TO HIT THE BUTTONS TO MAKE THE RINGS FLOAT UP ONTO THE LITTLE HOOKS
speed: oh my fucking god yes
potato: I had one in Philza's truck
I was so good at that thing
oreo boy: okay I had an argument with someone on if they were real or not and I needed to make sure I didn't make it up like how I made up a whole animal species
speed: you have other friends woah
oreo boy: not all of us are anti social
speed: im so extroverted
potato: You're really not
I'm not either so it's okay
HONK: dream u left your cheese stick at the house
speed: wait thats what i forgot