Chapter Text
Bart stood a little closer to the microphone. “Edna Krabappel is a good teacher.” He read.
“And if you know anything about my brother,” Lisa said. “it takes a lot of work to get him to say kind things about any educator.”
“Our relationship is weird,” Bart admitted. “I haven’t been the easiest guy to teach. But…” His eyes scanned the crowd. Edna was sitting in the audience, watching him with a wry smirk on her face. He . “Edna Krabappel, you are a cool person. You care about us, and you want us to learn, even though the world sucks and we suck and everything is a sucky pile of suck!”
“Suck – I mean right on!” Lisa said, frantically readjusting her cue cards.
“They’ve kicked you into the dirt more times than I can remember,” Bart said. “You made me like things like Shakespeare and dinosaurs. And you’ve done some pretty cool things! You even dated that drummer guy from Aerosmith!”
Bart saw Edna mouth the word ‘dated’ and then snort, but he had no idea what she meant.
“Oh my Lord,” Ned muttered into his palm, while Edna let out a loud, hearty laugh
“I’m glad that I know you, and I’m glad that I met you,” Bart said. “And I know teaching me was never easy – but I’m glad you tried.”
Bart stepped back from the microphone and Lisa shuffled her index cards. “Edna Krabappel was born in Michigan on a balmy day in 1958…”
The room went dark, and Bart watched the slide show Skinner and Ned had made play out. After that, a couple of kids Edna had taught – now promising college students and people with blooming businesses – spoke in support of her. Largo led a number of kids in a short chorale of music. Finally, Bart and the rest of the kids gathered at the center spotlight
“Edna, could you come to the stage?”
She rose from her place with surprising vigor, but Ned had a strong grip on her arm. Bart reached into his coat pocket and pulled out some tickets.
“Springfield Elementary is proud to give you these tickets to Italy,” he said.
“Italy?” She threw her arms around Ned’s neck. “I’ve always wanted to go!”
“And that’s the first stop on your trip around the world,” he said. “We’re gonna see everything we can see.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she said. “Except – SO LONG SUCKERS!”
Bart cackled at that. It was the perfect way to end the evening.
**
That night, everyone gathered at the Simpsons’ home to wish Edna well. Marge made orange drink and made a pile of cupcakes.
Out in the moonlight, Bart and Skinner stared up at the stars.
“Now you know how Wilbur felt when Charlotte’s children returned to him,” Skinner told Bart. “They won’t be like Edna, exactly – but all of the people you’ve met tonight will be a part of your life. All of you will take something she’s taught you and make it a bigger part of who you are.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Bart said. “So do I pass?”
“Well?”
“For corn’s sake, Seymour, give the boy his A!”
Bart glanced over his shoulder at Flanders. “You’ve been the biggest help, Bart. I really mean it. Edna couldn’t rest until those letters were out, and you got them out. You showed her how much you care about people and you understood Charlotte’s Web. That’s worthy of a pass.”
“All right,” Skinner said. “Considering what you’ve done for Edna – and your retention of Charlotte’s Web and its facts, I will allow it. You pass, Bart. Enjoy the rest of your summer.”
Bart only had a little time to revel in his joy before his mother called him in. She fussed over Homer, who did her bidding and tried to stick to vegetables. Bart took a very big bite of a cupcake while he watched and glowered.
Edna was leaving. She bent down and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I promise you I’ll send postcards home,” she said.
And to his surprise, she did. She and Ned and the boys went all over the place, and then in the fall Rod and Todd came home for school and ended up staying with Skinner and his mother for a whole year. Alone, Ned and Edna crossed the whole world and kept doing so. And at every stop she sent Bart a new postcard.
Her last postcard reached him before word from Ned that she’d fallen asleep during their return trip to Italy and simply never woken up. Springfield went into a collective period of mourning until Ned returned home with Even Bart.
Edna’s last notetold Bart that he ought to be brave and smart – and go to Italy one day, to see the sunset and eat the food. It took Bart a few years, but he went there on a class trip. He toasted Edna with a glass of wine and thought again about the law degree he was going to snag.
And he just hoped Edna would somehow, in some way, be proud of him.