Chapter Text
Naib couldn’t remember falling asleep.
It was cold… So damn cold in that drafty old room...
Naib groaned quietly and inched himself upright. His feeble attempt to sit up was quickly thwarted by the arm draped across his chest, keeping him firmly in place.
Norton mumbled irritably into Naib's back. “Go back to sleep.”
“I can’t. You’re squeezing me.”
Naib went to push him off with what little strength he had to give, but stopped short, stricken with the same relentless nausea from before. He dropped back to the mattress with a shudder and gripped his front. His skin felt clammy and slick, and despite the heat of the blankets and Norton’s large frame behind him, he felt his body getting colder.
Having relinquished his efforts to move about and incite more nauseous waves, he inched himself back towards Norton instead, pushing himself neatly into the curve of his body. A shiver ran its way up his back. Norton’s lashes fluttered lightly against his neck.
“I’m cold.”
He felt movement behind him. Norton tiredly shifted his weight onto one elbow. He leaned over Naib, then flattened his palm against his forehead.
“You’re hot.”
“Thanks.”
The feeling of Norton pulling away from him was not even close to the response he'd anticipated. Naib whipped around to find him on his feet and grabbed him sharply by the band of his boxers.
“Where are you going?”
“To find water. To get your temperature down,” Norton said irritably.
“Fuck water, get back in here. It’s freezing without you.” He gave the band a sharp tug, exposing half of Norton’s backside.
“Hey, let go—”
Norton tugged harder, so Naib lunged for him, grabbed him by the hips and used the weight of his body to heave him back onto the bed. He came crashing down with a loud thump and the glare he sent Naib gave a little more of his strength back to him.
“Fuck. Subedar, you're so—"
“Shut up. Get in here now.”
Before Norton could retaliate, Naib tucked himself into his side, holding him in place. His body was warmer than he probably realized, and although Naib knew he’d fight him soon enough, the extra comfort still counted for something.
A minute passed, though, and Norton still hadn’t started his escape attempt. Contrary to Naib's expectations, he suddenly turned, threaded one leg between Naib’s and pulled him flush against his chest. Naib’s skin was moist with sweat; it couldn’t have been pleasant to touch, but Norton gripped him firmly and without complaint.
“You need water,” he eventually muttered.
“Mm.” Naib’s arms came up around the small of his back. Forget the water— he wanted his space heater.
“Naib.”
"Mmhm."
He liked the way Norton said his name. That gruff baritone had a kind of monotony about it, distant when he spoke anyone else’s, but Naib’s had begun to sound different to him. When nothing else followed, Naib peered up to find him staring. Whatever Norton had meant to say didn’t seem to be coming out, and without the words to define their exchange, he felt his nerves begin to act up.
“I—“ Norton started. His sunken eyes glinted like glass in the moonlight.
“What…?”
Suddenly, Norton began to shift himself a little closer. He drew his nose past Naib’s and then his lips to the point where Naib's jaw met the shadowy lines of his neck below. Norton drew back towards Naib's mouth, and when Naib thought that nothing else could keep him from the kiss he was being tempted into, Norton pressed his lips to his stitches instead.
“What was that?” Naib's expression soured. “Now you’re worried about getting sick?”
“You told me not to kiss you.”
“I—yeah, I did...”
Instead, Norton pushed his lips to Naib’s forehead. “Still hot,” he muttered. “I’m getting up."
It had only been a matter of time. Naib grunted with displeasure, then relinquished his hold with a small kick.
He turned to watch Norton slide out from under the blankets, then start to dress. Naib pushed himself up, swallowing his discomfort as he searched for the words he wanted– something, anything to let Norton know what he was feeling.
“You could… help me get to sleep, when you come back.”
Norton's hands went still at the buttons of his shirt. His dark eyes slowly blinked, then flitted back to his collar as he continued his work.
“Okay,” he muttered.
Naib swallowed.
Had he slipped up? Maybe Norton wanted space. He was sick, after all. Was he making a fool out of himself, asking for more from him at a time like this? As each question tore through into his mind, the back of Naib's neck began to burn with embarrassment.
Once Norton had secured the last button of his shirt, he turned and suddenly stepped towards the bed again. Naib looked up, helplessly willing the discomfort off his face.
And then Norton bent forward. He cocked his head sideways, leaned in and planted his closed lips up against Naib’s open ones.
Naib’s heart missed a beat. A second later, he remembered what he'd asked of Norton the night before. "Idiot. I told you not to."
Norton straightened out, seeming a little bit pleased with himself, and by the time he'd made it to the door, he looked the picture of the usual, impenetrable man that stalked the manor with a permanent frown.
“I’ll be back.” He stopped only to glance over his shoulder. “To put you to sleep.” The tiniest hint of a smile graced his lips, and then the door shut with a click.
Left alone with the sound of the groaning wind outside, Naib dropped back down on the bed. He breathed deeply, hoping to calm his restless heart, and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
He felt like shit. He wanted sleep. He wanted Norton. His heart beat on eagerly inside his chest as he propped himself up sideways to better face the door. Naib watched it, waiting for the moment that the handle would turn, when Norton would walk through it with that stony look of his. He imagined their eyes meeting and envisioned the way his face might soften for him as it sometimes did.
Like that, he watched the door as the minutes ticked by.
“…Norton.”
He pressed his lips together, feeling dizzier when he lowered his head. His lungs filled up with cold air when he breathed in and he followed the urge to curl in on himself to keep the fleeting warmth he had. When his shoulders began to shake and his teeth began to chatter, he pushed his face into Norton’s pillow.
Norton… Norton… Norton…
When he came back, Norton would drop that cold-soaked rag on his forehead and then squeeze into bed with him again. He’d run it over his neck and shoulders, and then his back, and his hands would linger where Naib wanted them— at the bones of his hip and the lowest point of his spine. He imagined them falling over together, and the forgotten rag would soak into the mattress while they held each other.
His face was burning. He dropped it into his hands.
The sound of a click drew his gaze suddenly upwards. He watched the handle turn.
Then Norton stepped in, glass of water in one hand and a basin in the other. His hardened expression lost its edge when he met Naib’s gaze, and Naib felt his heart sink into his stomach.
“You missed me?” Norton said coyly.
“…No." Naib fell back against the mattress. The intrigue on Norton’s face stoked a fire in his gut.
In the silence that followed, he pleaded with his body to stop its sickly tremors, but his head was spinning and all of him sweating. He felt sick, but he felt a little safer now, listening to the sounds of Norton fidget about in the candlelight.
“Drink this.” He held out the glass and Naib hoisted himself upright. He drank what he could while Norton tugged away at his own clothes, each article coming off a little faster than the last.
“Can't drink anymore.” Naib thrust it back towards him. After a vexed pause, Norton set it on the desk, then dropped his clothes into the pile he'd started at the side of the bed. “Hurry, it’s cold.”
"Hold on." Norton scooped the rag out of the basin, wrung it with both hands, then took it with him as he climbed back in. The bed creaked under his weight, then again when he settled in against Naib’s front.
“Don’t move too much.”
Norton set the icy, wet cloth against his forehead. The cold sensation was so sudden and abrasive that Naib grabbed it himself to get it off.
“Keep it on," Norton snapped. He pressed it back into place, then lowered his hands, leaving the cloth balancing a little precariously where Naib lay on his side. Before it could slip, Norton drew in closer first and pressed their foreheads together to keep it in place.
Naib swallowed. Norton's face had a kind of stoicism to it; his expressions were always filled with subtleties. In that moment, he looked at ease. He shut his eyes until the feeling of his lips pressing up against his own drew them open again. Norton's eyes were open. He kissed him again and ran his hand gingerly up Naib's bare back. The wet cloth slipped down from his forehead and crumpled against the mattress.
“You really don’t care if you get sick?” Naib muttered.
Norton breathed out a sigh and rolled onto his back. His arm snaked its way behind Naib’s neck.
“I’ve been sleeping with you. If I was gonna get sick, I’d be sick already.” He turned to neatly return the cloth to its place on Naib’s forehead. “And if it means staying in bed with you, it doesn’t sound that bad.”
Naib inched himself into Norton’s side with a small snort. “Who’s gonna take care of us if we’re both sick? We may as well just tell everyone we’re together now, before they find us passed out in the same bed.”
Norton didn’t answer right away. A few moments went by before Naib glanced up at him.
“...We can tell them. I don’t care.”
Naib’s lips fell apart. “What? Really?” He pushed himself up onto his elbow.
Norton turned towards him. “Why should we keep hiding it? What are they gonna do?”
“Call us sodomites, tell us we’re going to hell–”
“I don’t care. Everything until now was— With you, I—“ He hesitated again and again until he dropped back again with a tired scoff. “I don’t care about their morals. I’m sick of hiding it... And I don’t care who knows.”
Naib’s heart picked up. His nerves seemed to pull on his chest like the strings of a bow, creaking and straining towards release.
Norton really wanted that? To stop hiding their relationship? He found certainty in Norton’s dark eyes and felt something warm and eager claw its way into his chest.
“Then we don’t hide it.”
"...You don't—"
“Forget everyone. Let’s do what we want.”
Norton gave a disbelieving scoff.
“What?” Naib snapped.
Norton faced the ceiling again. “I didn’t think you’d be… just— fine with it.”
“You suggested it, way back when we started…”
“Because I thought you… I thought you wanted to keep it secret.”
“I never cared as much you did.”
“I didn’t.”
They looked at each other in silent bewilderment. Naib broke in with a dry laugh. “We're both stupid.”
Norton blinked, and then the barest trace of a smile began to pull at one corner of his lips. Naib snatched the cloth from his forehead just in time to turn and face Norton again.
“Put this back. It’s warm.”
Just warm enough to use that excuse and position himself where he wanted to be.
Norton did so a little thoughtlessly; his eyes kept flitting back to Naib’s in a way that had Naib feeling brave enough to tangle their legs together on his way back.
Naib spoke first. “I… think it wouldn’t be bad, not to hide it—”
To hold Norton’s hand without fear of getting caught, to look at him without concern for the impression he was making on the people around them… To kiss him when he wanted to. His throat felt tighter, his heart bounced in his chest, and when he looked up and into that avid, wanting gaze, those course words came out on their own.
“I really— I like you,” he swallowed, hiding his face in Norton’s chest. “A lot.”
Only once he’d mustered the courage to look back up did he find that Norton’s face had turned a definitively darker color. His jaw twitched when Naib’s gaze found his, and his eyes darted sideways as if he hadn’t expected to be seen again so quickly.
“Say it back,” Naib tried, doing all that he could to keep from sounding desperate.
“I… Like you," When Norton leaned in, his voice was barely louder than a mutter. "More than anything else.”
The room seemed to change color. Everything brightened, every space filled, and when he watched Norton's features soften for him, he thought he saw love in those dark eyes.
Love… Was this love? His heart nearly beat out of his chest.
“Can I put you to sleep now?” Norton cut in. In the moonlight, Naib realized his face had turned a charming pink.
Naib chuckled. He gave Norton’s hair a playful tug. “Please.”
Norton breathed out, his lips turning excitedly up at one corner. He sat up, reached for the basin, then wrung the rag out a second time.
“That again?” Naib glowered.
“To cool you off first.”
Settling in at his side, Norton slipped the rag under the blankets. Naib twitched at the chill of it, felt it run across his chest, and he fell back a second later with a pleasant shudder.
“Lower,” he breathed.
Norton climbed on top of him. He slid the wet cloth down the expanse of Naib's abdomen.
“Keep talking.”
“You’re gonna make me say it?” Naib snorted.
“…I want to hear you say everything.”
Something in him persuaded him up and off the mattress. He lifted himself just high enough to nestle up by Norton’s ear.
“I love you.”
Naib hovered there, running a nervous hand through Norton's hair until the arm that held him up began to shake. The back of Norton’s neck seemed hot under his fingers.
It was Norton that finally pushed him down against the mattress. Naib watched his bottom lip tremble as he fell, and with that deep crease in his brow, Norton took Naib’s face gently in his hands.
“I love you too.”