Chapter Text
They had been planning this day for sixth, long months, and when it finally arrived, they were over the moon.
However, about twenty minutes before Wade and Tom left to set up the venue that had been booked, Wade’s phone rang, and he excused himself to go and answer it.
Tom rolled his eyes, glancing down at his kids. “Are you guys excited? You haven’t been to a wedding since-…”
“Since we were nearly killed by Eggman and were then promptly captured by the government?” Sonic smirked, rolling his eyes.
Tails merely scoffed, though his face was completely obscured by a large box full of decorations that he was holding. “Well, I for one, am super excited!”
“Crud, crud, crud-“ Wade muttered under his breath as he walked back into the room, waving his phone around in frustration. “Last night, when it rained, the venue flooded.”
“You’re kidding.” Tom looked over at Wade with concern. “What are we gonna do now?”
“I dunno! I should call Stone-..” Wade trailed off as he rang his fiancé, but mere seconds before he answered, it occurred to him that it was supposed to be bad luck to speak to your partner on your wedding day.
So, naturally, he threw the phone at Tom, who barely managed to catch it and hold it up to his ear.
“Hello?” Came Maddie’s voice from the other end. Obviously Stone had the same idea after seeing who was calling him.
Tom chuckled, “Hey, it’s me. Uh..look, we’ve got a problem.”
*
Stone was sitting on his bed with Rachel violently styling his hair. Since Wade had Tom, who always had the aliens with him, that meant Stone had gotten stuck with the others.
He wasn’t entirely sure why they had even invited Rachel. He wasn’t even sure if he had ever even met her before. But, with Rachel, came Jojo and Randall.
Maddie was on the phone to Wade, presumably. When Stone had seen who was calling him, he had panicked and thrown the phone at her.
“Oh, you’re kidding me..” She mumbled, a look of worry spreading across her face. “What are we gonna do?”
When Maddie finally got off of the phone, she sighed. “Well, that was Tom. I don’t know why he was using Wade’s phone though. But- the venues flooded, so we can’t use it.”
“Oh, damn.” Rachel muttered, spraying an ungodly amount of hairspray on Stone’s hair. “What’re you gonna do?”
Well, Stone was already panicking, so hearing that just made everything infinitely times worse. He took a deep breath, lost in thought.
To his delight though, Ozzy took the opportunity to trot over to him, rubbing against his leg. Letting out a sigh of relief, Stone gently pet Ozzy.
“There’s gotta be someplace else you could have it.” Randall murmured, sitting down beside Stone and scratching Ozzy’s ear.
After some thought, Maddie eventually proposed an idea. “…Stone, how do you feel about farms?”
*
“Okay, I just got off the phone with Maddie. She called up Farmer Zimmer, and he said we’re welcome to hold the wedding there.” Tom grinned, tightening his tie.
Wade let out a heavy sigh, nodding. “Doesn’t sound very romantic.”
“Aw, cmon. A bit of music, a couple candles, and some decorations can make anything romantic!” Sonic looked up at Wade reassuringly. “We better get cracking then. Let’s go!”
When they arrived at the farm, they quickly greeted Farmer Zimmer and thanked him, before getting to work. Fortunately, for whatever reason, there were a few abandoned fold up tables in the barn, and Tom had some fold up chairs in the back of his truck, so they started setting everything up.
“Is it just me or..do these tables look empty?” Knuckles asked, glancing over at the empty tables.
Wade awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, yeah, but Stone’s gonna pick up the cake on his way, and the caterers should be here soon. I already called them and told them to come here instead.”
“Hey, you excited?” Tom chuckled, nudging Wade. “Not having any second thoughts, are you?”
After a bit of thought, Wade shook his head. “Nah. I’m nervous, but I’m not regretting this. Besides, I know Stone’s probably wracking his brain right about now.”
By the time they had finished setting up, it actually didn’t look half bad, and the farm wasn’t as muddy as you’d think it’d be.
But then Tom got another phone call from Maddie.
*
Stone had never been particularly religious, but somehow Rachel had convinced him to pray, considering the events of the day so far. While they were doing that, his phone interrupted.
It was the one of the caterers, so, with great hesitance, Stone answered, putting the phone on speaker so they all could hear it.
“Good morning, sir, I’m terribly sorry to tell you on such short notice but I’m afraid we’ve had to cancel.”
The room fell silent, staring at each other in horror. Seeing the look of dread on Stone’s face, Maddie quickly snatched the phone away and left the room, before he could hear anything worse.
Stone was stressed. He had been stressed before he knew his wedding was going to be a disaster, and now this was just the cherry on top. With only slight hesitance, he took his blazer off and stood, grabbing a bottle of wine and marching off into the bathroom.
This was a terrible idea. Maybe it was all a sign from the universe. They shouldn’t get married. This was all his fault anyway. He was probably a jinx, and Wade deserved so much better than him.
“Well, that’s just great.” Rachel groaned, banging on the bathroom door. “Now one of the grooms is in there getting hammered! With my bottle of wine!”
*
Tom had just gotten off the phone with Maddie, who had informed him that not only had the caterers cancelled, but Stone was locked in the bathroom with a big bottle of white wine.
“Okay, you know what, screw not talking to each other, gimme the phone.” Wade essentially snatched his phone back out of Tom’s hand.
Before he could call Stone, he got a message from the officiant. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me..”
“What now?!” Sonic groaned exaggeratedly, facepalming.
“The officiants broken his foot. He can hardly move off his couch.” Wade sighed, sitting down. “Welp, it’s official. This is literally the worst wedding ever.”
With a small frown, Tom sat down beside him, handing him a flask full of whisky, which he hesitantly took a sip from, almost gagging at the taste.
“Welp, looks like I’m gonna have to get ordained online then.” Tom grinned reassuringly, looking over at Wade. “Don’t stress, we’ll get this wedding under control.”
*
“Stone, open the door!” Maddie cried, banging her fist against it.
They had been trying to get the door open for the last half an hour, but nothing was working. They had begged, yelled, and at one point Randall had tried to break the door down, but failed miserably and instead sprained his wrist.
The adults had stepped out into the hall to think of a plan, leaving Jojo and Ozzy alone outside of the bathroom door.
Hesitantly, she knocked. “Mr Stone? It’s me, Jojo. And Ozzy! Can we come in?”
To her surprise, he actually opened the door a crack, gesturing for her to come inside. Once both she and the dog were in, Stone shut the door.
“Are you okay? Don’t be sad. Pet Ozzy! Whenever I’m sad, it makes me feel better.” Jojo spoke with a big smile, seemingly oblivious to the seriousness of everything. With a small sigh, Stone sat up on the counter, reaching down to pet Ozzy. Well. She was right. It did make him feel a bit better.
Jojo grinned, looking at herself in the mirror. She had a nice little white flower girl dress on, and her hair was tied up in two big afro puffs, just how she liked it.
Stone noticed her admiring herself and grinned. “Look at you, you little princess. I must say, I’m jealous, you look so adorable.” He spoke with a bit of a slur in his voice, most likely due to the now empty bottle of wine that sat in the sink.
“Hmm..I could do your makeup? Then we could both be pretty!” Jojo squealed, looking up at him hopefully.
To her surprise, and delight, he shrugged, nodding, and she ran out of the room to steal her mother’s makeup bag while she was preoccupied.
A few minutes passed, and she returned, instructing Stone to sit on the floor, and then getting straight to work.
*
“No joy?” Wade asked upon seeing the solum expression on Tom’s face.
The sheriff shrugged. “Yes and no. I legally can officiate now, but they’re still trying to get Stone out of the bathroom.”
“Great.” Wade muttered, looking utterly defeated. “I was thinking- and, uh..how’s Stone going to pick up the cake if he’s..drunk?”
“Did I hear someone in need of a cake?” Sonic zipped over to them, smirking.
Tails and Knuckles weren’t far behind, Tails saying with a grin, “Leave it to us.”
Before anyone could protest, the three of them sped off.
Within about ten minutes, they had arrived at the bakery and headed inside. The owner, a woman they were mildly familiar with, greeted them with a smile.
“Hey, boys! What can I get you?” She said tiredly, taking a sip of her coffee.
Sonic climbed up to sit on the counter. “Hey, we’re here to pick up Wade’s wedding cake.”
“Oh, of course. Lemme go get it.” She excused herself, walking off into the kitchen, calling out to them. “So, is it a big wedding? Cause this is a pretty big cake.”
The baker returned, carrying a large box, though clearly struggling to do so.
Tails clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “It’s tiny. There’s only..ten of us. Eleven if you include Ozzy, but since he’s a dog, I don’t think it counts.”
“Well, you’re a space fox, so I think Ozzy should count.” She chuckled, dropping the box into Knuckles’ arms, practically nearly squishing him with it. “I’m surprised he’s not inviting the entire town, to be honest. We’d all love to watch. Wade’s a national treasure.”
“You are all welcome to come and watch, cake lady.” Knuckles said firmly.
The three boys headed outside, Knuckles barely able to carry the box properly, considering it was over twice the size of him.
“Okay, if we continue like this, it’s gonna take us forever to get there.” Sonic hummed, looking around for a solution.
Tails, however, happened to notice an abandoned wagon in a nearby alleyway. “I’ve got an idea.”
*
Once Jojo had finally finished his makeup after only getting distracted by Ozzy six or seven times, Stone stood up, looking at his reflection. To his surprise, she actually did quite a good job. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but looking at himself calmed him a bit.
With a deep breath, he slowly opened the door.
“Oh my god, Stone, you look gorgeous.” Maddie said with a smile that she hoped would reassure him.
Rachel pushed past him, storming into the bathroom and grabbing her makeup bag. “Jojo, what did I tell you about stealing my makeup?!..Good job though.”
“How’s everything going?” Stone mumbled, leaning against the doorframe, suddenly feeling a bit queasy.
Maddie huffed. “Well, the officiant broke his foot and had to cancel, but then Tom got ordained online, so that’s fine. The boys have gone to pick up the cake to save us the trouble, but everything else looks good.”
And then Stone vomited. Excessively. All down his shirt.
*
Meanwhile, Sonic and the gang had just arrived back at the farm, the cake in tow. They had run, so it was a bit beaten up and uneven, but it was mostly fine, so they considered it a win.
After placing the cake on one of the tables with a bit of help from Farmer Zimmer, Tom and Wade sat down, taking deep breaths, already exhausted.
“Pretty big cake for such a small amount of people, huh?” Tom shrugged, taking his phone out and absentmindedly scrolling through Twitter.
Wade sighed. “Yeah. I wish there were more people coming, and I know Stone does too. But, like, neither of us really has any family.”
“Hmm..” Tom thought for a while. Perhaps he could invite some people from around town. Everyone seemed to like Wade, so he was sure at least some of them would be willing and free. “I’ll see what I can do.”
*
“Eat, hurry up, chew faster!”
Rachel shoved her husband out of the way. “Randall, quit shovelling bread into his mouth, he’s gonna choke.”
“Look, I’m just soaking up the alcohol! He needs to sober up, and fast.” Randall responded, taking a break from force feeding Stone bread to instead force him to drink a horrible tasting coffee.
Stone gagged, barely able to stop himself from being sick again. Once it was clear he wasn’t going to puke, Randall went back to filling his mouth with bread. Stone didn’t even like bread.
“Alright- alright-“ Stone pushed Randall away, spitting out the unwanted gluten. “I’m fine, I’m sober. How’s my makeup?” He looked over at Jojo.
She smiled, giving a thumbs up. “Like a pretty princesses.”
Maddie, meanwhile, had been violently scrubbing his shirt, trying to get the vomit off. “Right, I think this is a lost cause. Do you have any spare shirts?”
“They’re at the dry cleaner’s.” Stone mumbled, cautiously slipping the stained shirt off.
Of course, the one time he happened to be wearing a white shirt, this happened.
He decided that one of Wade’s hoodies that had been left on the floor was suitable attire, just whilst they went to fetch the shirts.
So, they climbed into Rachel’s car and sped off to the dry cleaners. To their horror, once they arrived, they found that it was closed, and that there was a sign in the door claiming that the owner was dealing with a family emergency.
*
After a few phone calls, Tom had somehow managed to convince half the town to attend, though he, of course, had made sure to warn them that there wasn’t any food.
So, there Wade was, rehearsing his vows with the help of Knuckles, awaiting his soon to be husband’s arrival.
Despite everything, Wade was feeling excited about everything once again. Sure, there were a few hiccups, but everything was sorted and well.
Well. Perhaps not everything .
The rest of them had already arrived at the farm, and Stone was still in the car whilst Rachel and Maddie fussed over his hair and makeup.
This was it. It was now or never.
“Oh god, I’m making a mistake.” Stone suddenly cried out, unable to stop himself from bursting into tears.
Rachel tutted. “Don’t cry, you’ll ruin your makeup..”
“Oh geez. Stone, listen..” Maddie muttered, grabbing his head and forcing him to face her. “You can do this. I know how terrifying it is.. but afterwards, it’s the best feeling in the world, and all your fear goes away.”
“..promise?” Stone eventually asked, blinking away his tears.
Maddie smiled, nodding reassuringly. “I promise.”
They stepped out of the car, and Tails took this as a sign to start the music. Since they didn’t have a proper speaker, he was just playing it on his phone.
Stone took a deep breath, hesitantly looking over at the makeshift aisle. It looked surprisingly good, considering it was on a farm. He looked over at Wade.
Wade was staring at him with a look of surprise, awe, and pure adoration. Despite the fact that his eyeliner was smudged, he was quite literally in a hoodie, and that he smelt like vomit, Wade was looking at him like he was a million bucks.
With a big smile, Jojo walked down the aisle, sprinkling flowers down it, Ozzy at her side.
Stone looked over at Maddie, who offered her arm with a smile. Hesitantly, he took her, arm in arm, and they began to walk down the aisle.
He looked around, shocked to see just how many people there were.
“Lots of people, huh?” Maddie whispered to him.
Unsure of what to say, he nodded.
As he stood beside Wade, he couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t real. It was too good to be true.
Noticing his fiancé’s fear, Wade subtly reached out to grab his hand.
“Hey, everyone.” Tom spoke with a grin. “So, as most of you know, I’m a sheriff, not a priest, so I’m not really sure what to say here. But, that’s not important. What’s important is the reason we’re all gathered here. To celebrate the love of Wade and Stone.”
Stone glanced back at Tom, flashing him a smile and nodding approvingly.
He continued. “How about we get straight to the point, huh? Wade, vows.”
“Huh?-..oh! Right, right.” Wade chuckled sheepishly. “Well, babe, I know I’m not exactly the best with words, but like..you’re absolutely incredible. For our entire relationship, you’ve been nothing but sweet and supportive of everything I do, even if you don’t agree. And, it’s weird, because..when you first came to Green Hills and got a job in that café, I know it was for evil reasons, but I’m so glad you did that. Truth be told, I uh..used to go in there sometimes just to chat to you. My point is, you’re super great, and I’m really stoked to be marrying you.”
Biting his lip, Stone blinked away his tears. He wasn’t good at receiving such big amounts of affection.
“Thanks, Wade.” Tom cleared his throat. “Stone?”
Right. Vows.
Oh fuck he forgot to write vows.
“Um.” Was all he managed to say.
“Speechless, Stone?” Came an all too familiar voice from behind him.
He turned around, a chorus of gasps coming from the crowd. Robotnik, surrounded by an army of Badniks.
“Doctor?” Stone stared at him in horror. “Uh- hedgehogs, can you entertain for a moment while I have a word with..him..?”
Before they couldn’t respond, Stone stormed over to Robotnik, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him just out of earshot from the guests.
“Not today. You are not ruining my wedding.” He said, breathing heavily, blinking away his tears. “Please..don’t ruin this for me...”
“Oh, pahlease. I’m not here to ruin your sad little wedding, I’m just here to crash it.” He gestured at himself.
Stone was surprised to see that the doctor was in a fancy suit that seemed fitting for a wedding. “Well, you’re certainly better dressed than me. I vomited all over my clothes, and this was the only thing I had.”
“Ew. TMI. But, whatever. I’m just offended you didn’t invite me! I’m your best man now, kay? Kay.”
Stone hesitantly nodded, shrugging it off and heading back over to Wade. Robotnik, on the other hand, shoved some random twelve year old off of one of the chairs, and sat down.
“Er..sorry about that, everyone!” Nervously, Stone chuckled. “Where was I? Oh yeah..vows.”
He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he started looking at the guests for help, his gaze eventually falling on Robotnik. The doctor was glaring at him with a look that he was certain would’ve killed a lesser man.
Somehow that was comforting to Stone, though, so he turned back to face Wade.
“My entire life, I’ve never really felt like I had a family. I mean- my actual family were all assholes that I haven’t spoken a word to since I was sixteen, and then I dedicated the rest of my life to serving Doctor Robotnik. But then, when I moved to Green Hills, everything changed. You took interest in me, and you essentially rewired the rest of my life. You rewrote my story. And I’m eternally grateful for that. You’ve given me something I never had. Love. Happiness. A family. I love you.”
Wade stared blankly at Stone, his face turning bright red.
“Great!” Tom said, nodding approvingly. “Rings? Wait- who’s got the rings?”
After a brief panic, Wade suddenly remembered he had the rings, letting out a sigh of relief as he took them out of his pocket, handing Stone one.
With a smile, Stone slowly placed the ring on Wade’s finger, Wade doing the same to him.
“Okay, cool. I now declare you married!” Tom chuckled, taking a step back. “You may now kiss the groom.”
Without hesitation, Stone immediately caught Wade’s lips in a passionate kiss.
*
A few hours passed, and most of the guests had left. The ones remaining were standing around chatting and eating cake.
“Wade, this is Robotnik. Doctor, this is Wade.” Stone was busy introducing them. “Please be civil.”
“Alright, alright! I’ve already told you, I won’t do anything wrong today.” Robotnik scoffed, taking a small bite of his slice of cake. “This is horrible.”
Wade and Stone finished their cake and wandered off, taking each other’s hands.
“Sooooo..we’re married now.” Wade eventually said. “That’s cool. Say, I like your eyeshadow.”
“Hm? Oh. Thanks. Jojo did it while I was having a breakdown in the bathroom.” Stone nervously chuckled. “I’m sorry I’m not wearing a suit. I vomited all over it. Speaking of which, could you give me a moment?”
Before Wade could fully comprehend what was happening, Stone was hunched over vomiting.
Once he had finished that, he continued talking like nothing had happened. “Wanna round everyone up and go to McDonald’s?”
“Oh, totally. Are we bringing the evil scientist?” Wade asked, taking his husband’s hand.
Stone laughed like it was a stupid question. “Of course we are, dummy.”