Chapter Text
“FUCKING HELL,” Chip yelled, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
Chip turned around to see nothing but an empty deck, as well as his voice echoing across the sea.
“...What?” A familiar voice came from the ground, and Chip turned to the pile of blankets left by Gillion.
Sitting there was Gillion’s conch shell, and the voice coming from it was none other than Captain Lizzie of the Grandberry Pirates. Realistically Gillion probably forgot it here, but Chip couldn’t not see this as a plot.
“What?” he shouted. “Did Jay call you too? Does she want you to guilt me into not jumping? Well guess what? It’s not working and it’s not gonna fucking work!”
“Chip is that you?” Lizzie slurred. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Don’t act dumb! Why else would you call in the middle of the night?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you. Caspian mentioned Finn being found. I mean, that’s 2 out of 3 of the big guys. The only one left is-”
“Just shut up!” Chip finally broke as he felt certain tears roll down his face. “Shut up about Arlin, shut up about the black rose, shut up about the past! I can’t think about it, I just-” Chip let out his first sob of the night. “can’t.”
There was a moment of silence, where Chip only heard his own whimpering. He hadn’t cried like this in forever. It felt embarrassing. At one point he had thought Lizzie just hung up, but eventually she spoke.
“Jeez louise,” she muttered, “someone’s in a bad mood.”
Chip suddenly came to a realization.
She's drunk.
“Go to bed, Liz.” Chip spoke softly, now that his throat hurts from yelling.
“I’m not that drunk,” she said, coherently, “don’t fucking kill yourself, Chip.”
“Real considerate, Lizzie.”
“Where are you right now?”
Chip picked up the conch. “Edge of the ship.”
He heard her slightly giggle. “Cannonballing into the ocean isn’t gonna do the job, Chipper.”
“Not if the water is below freezing.” Chip rebutled, staring at the roaring waves.
“Shit, that’s right,” Lizzie said, “you’re in the northern ocean. Yeah that’ll definitely kill you.”
“You know you’re not helping at all?” Chip said angrily.
“I’m not gonna baby you, Chip. I know from personal experience that it doesn’t work.”
He scoffed. “What do you mean ‘personal experience?’”
Lizzie spoke calmly, in a quiet, low voice, to make sure only he could hear. “What do you think it means, Chip?”
Chip just stood there. All he heard was the sloshing of liquid on the other line.
“When?” he asked.
“Bout a year ago, I think.” She told it like it was an old fireplace tale. “It was the anniversary of Shae’s death. I had hit a low. I tied a brick to my legs and was ready to throw it over.”
“Who stopped you?”
“I did.”
Chip exhaled. “What do you mean?”
“Well I waited for someone to stop me, but no one woke up. I stood there for like, 3 hours waiting. At some point I decided that the only person to talk me down was myself. And I did.”
“How?” Chip’s voice sounded desperate.
“Wish I could tell you. I honestly have no idea.”
Chip leaned his torso across the railing as the weight of the night sunk into his body. “I’m so fucking tired, Lizzie. I just want this to end.”
“Then go to bed.” She said bluntly.
“I can’t,” he mustered, “it’ll make things worse.”
“How so?”
“Going to sleep isn’t going to make my thoughts go away. I’m just gonna be laying there until morning trying to push them away. The more I think, the more it hurts.”
Lizzie paused for a second. “Do you think about the Black Rose Pirates?”
He shivered. “I guess so.”
Lizzie scoffed into a small laugh. “I don’t get you, Chip. A couple months ago all you could talk about was finding them. Finding Arlin. But now every time they’re mentioned, you quickly change the subject or act all awkward. What the fuck happened, dude?”
Chip crossed his arms on the rail. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“No,” her voice raised, “not a chance. You want me to help you? This is me helping you. Giving you some tough love. If you wanna stop feeling like this, then you gotta face it. Head on.”
Chip let Lizzie’s words sink into his skin before taking a deep breath. “It started when we got that freaky cat curse removed. During that weird procedure, I had a dream. But it didn’t feel like a dream. It felt real. Arlin was there. He looked weak, covered with this black tar shit. He asked me to come closer, so I did. When he saw me in the light, he got angry. Or scared? Hell, I don’t know. He grabbed me by my neck and before I could pass out Gill saved me. After that, he disappeared.”
“Shit. That's a lot.” For the first time, Lizzie actually sounded like she was listening.
“Anyway, ever since then I’ve been thinking. What if that was real? What if Arlin hates what I’ve become? All I’ve ever wanted was to find him again. But now I can't even handle remembering the Black Rose. So that’s why I’ve been avoiding it. At least trying to.”
“Hm.” Lizzie hummed. No one spoke for a while. Chip only heard the scattered clink of a bottle and lazy breathing from the other line. He thought of breaking the silence, but he realized he had nothing left to say.
“Do you remember our game, pirates and vikings?” Lizzie suddenly said.
“What?” Chip stuttered.
“It used to be pirates and mermaids, but we both wanted to be the pirate. We got into like, 3 fist fights before Arlin broke us up. That’s when he told us about vikings, pirates of the north. He gave us 2 sticks and hell, that was all we needed. Every day, we’d pretend we were in this big war to control the oceans. I think I got a black eye while running during the game. Shae was pissed. Said that Arlin ‘lost his parenting privileges.’ We kept playing the next day.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Cause I don’t want you to be sad about the Black Rose,” she consoled, “or about Arlin. Not when the best years of our lives were on that ship. I can’t tell you how Arlin will react to you, no one really knows. What I do know is that we’ve grown. Changed. We’re not playing anymore, we’re pirates for real. Hell, you’ve changed more during this year than in the past decade. If Arlin won’t be able to see you for the good and compassionate person you are, then he must’ve hit his head on his way to the bottom of the sea.”
“But how?” Chip asked. “How am I supposed to confront him? Confront the past? How am I supposed to think of that ship fondly when the only thing playing in my mind is the memory of that night?”
“That night isn’t going away. Nothing we can do to change that. It happened. It hurt us. Big deal. We can’t let it control our lives. We have to find a balance between moving on but not forgetting.”
“That sounds impossible.”
“Alone, maybe. But lucky for you, you’re on a ship filled with traumatized folks. I’m sure at least one of them knows how.”
Chip placed the conch on the rail. “This whole night people have been trying to help me and it hasn’t worked.”
He heard the sound of a bottle being set down and bed springs on the other line. “That’s because they’re not gonna do it for you. Someone can’t just magically make you feel better, Chip. It’s up to you to use their advice and make the change yourself. They can stand by you, comfort you, love you, but at the end of the day, you’re on your own. You and I should know exactly what that’s like.”
Chip took a deep breath. “You’re right. The only person who can talk me down is myself.”
“Ok well you didn’t have to steal my line.”
“Too late, just did.” Chip smirked.
“Well, I’m gonna copyright it and sue you.” Lizzie sounded annoyed.
“Well, I’m gonna take you to court and Jay’s gonna be my lawyer.”
“Why Jay?” Lizzie questioned. “Does she know law or something?”
“No, you just won’t be able to pay attention when she rolls up in a suit.” Chip answered slyly.
Chip could practically hear Lizzie’s blush. “Hey! You dick, that’s not fair!”
“So you admit you’d be distracted?”
“I’m gonna push you off that boat myself.”
“And just like that, the idea of Lizzie being nice is lost to the wind.” Chip dramatically spoke.
“Fuck you, bastard.” She means I love you.
“Eat shit, captain crapbag.” He means I love you too.
Chip heard Lizzie yawn. “Hey Chip, it’s almost morning where I am so I’m gonna try and get at least 3 hours of sleep, I’ll talk to you later, ok?”
“Alright. Good night.”
“Hey,” he heard her use the last of her energy to raise her voice one last time. “I WILL talk to you later, ok? Please.”
Chip pursed his lips. “Ok. I’ll try.”
“Goodnight Chip.” and with that, Gillion’s conch went silent.
But Chip remained.
Chip gripped the railing once again. This was it. He had one hour before the sun would rise, and Alphonse would reactivate as soon as light hit the ship. No one else was waking up to stop him. There was only one person who could stop Chip now.
Himself.