Chapter Text
JANUARY 2ND
The bus ride back to LA had felt infinitely longer than the one he took in the days before Christmas.
Buck knew he should be feeling some kind of hopeful anticipation at seeing Abby again, letting her tell him her side of the story, but the idea that there might still be something between them didn’t fill him with the same sense of excitement as it would have only one week earlier.
He arrived back in LA just after lunch on New Years Eve, and he was meeting Abby for dinner at a bar they’d been to so many times before. Seeing her felt like he was meeting with a stranger, not someone he had spent months dating.
While he still felt an ache as she told him what happened when she got back home, he couldn’t help but feel regret bury itself in his gut. He left Texas looking for closure, and now that he had some, all he wanted was to be back in El Paso.
He wasn’t angry, and maybe that was a good thing. Maddie always told him that there was only room in his head for one thing at a time, maybe that extended to his heart too.
He almost wanted to be angry at Abby, anger would be easier.
He wanted to be angry at Eddie too, just another person to leave him, only he wasn’t the one who walked away.
When he realised he was the angriest with himself, it was easy to tell Abby that he forgave her, and that he hoped she was happy. She seemed stunned by his reaction, and maybe if someone had told him a week ago that he would be feeling like this, he would have been stunned too.
But as he sat opposite her, he didn’t care about that someone else. There was only one someone else on his mind.
So he told her he would get anything of his out of her apartment within the week, and she wished him good luck with the LAFD. Then it was over. All of it.
Once he said goodbye to her, he wandered around the streets a while, watching all the people smiling, and singing and drinking as they prepared to bring in the New Year. He couldn’t help thinking that he could have been spending it in a similar way, cup of hot chocolate in his hands, maybe a few glasses of wine.
He wondered whether he would have someone to kiss too, or whether Eddie would have come to his senses if Buck hadn’t put his foot in it, realised that Buck wasn’t someone he would want to be kissing.
Buck tried to stop himself thinking about kissing Eddie, leaving to spend a sad night with Maddie in her new apartment.
The two of them went through three bottles of red between them, and Buck spilled his guts about everything. They talked so long that the sound of the city celebrating the new year almost passed them by.
He spent an even sadder New Year’s Day trying to recover from that, he had an early start the next morning and he didn’t want to make a bad impression.
“You’ll be fine, Evan,” Maddie said, handing him a travel mug of coffee on the morning of his first day.
He had crashed on her couch, not really wanting to be alone.
“Buck,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.
“You’ll always be Evan to your big sister,” she said. “Now go, they’re going to love you, and some hard work might get you to stop thinking about how you left your heart in Texas.”
He groaned, throwing his head back before shooting her a glare.
"Can you not say it like that?" he said. "It's a new year, I'm starting fresh, forgetting about everything from last year and not looking back."
"Oh, is that why you spent three hours on new year’s crying about how sweet and beautiful he is, and some cowboy hat and a belt buckle?" she said. "I didn't hear you say more than four words about Abby but this Eddie guy? It was like you were in mourning, and you only just met him."
"It was not!" he said. "And I was not crying. I just..."
"You can still try and find him, tell him how you feel."
"So he can tell me to leave again? He doesn't want me, Maddie. I was just some charity case he picked up, like when you start feeding the stray dogs and then you can't get rid of them."
"You're not a stray dog Evan."
"Buck."
"Fine, Buck," she said. "Stop acting like everyone is ready to just shoo you away. You're the one pushing until they have a reason to. I get it, if the idea is yours then you can pretend it doesn’t hurt as much, but have you ever considered people might just want you because you're you?"
He looked away from her, shaking his head as she sighed.
"You act like if they leave you it's doing you a favour, so they do it because they think that's what you want!" she said, throwing her hands up in frustration. "What you want doesn't come second to what everyone else wants. If that advice comes from anyone then it might as well be me."
He couldn't help but flinch as she said those words, because she was right. It had taken her a long time to do it, but she finally did something for herself when she moved out to LA. And she was still on the road to healing, but he knew she was happier that she had been in a long time now that she was finally free.
“I’m just saying,” she said, walking around to him and putting a hand up to his cheek. He nuzzled into it, never quite being old enough to turn away comfort from his sister. “Take a chance to be happy, you sure as hell give yourself enough chances to be miserable.”
He rolled his eyes, but he didn’t bite back. He just let her pull him in and he wrapped his arms around her waist.
He held her tightly and didn't say anything further, closing his eyes a moment before reluctantly letting her go. He had a job to start after all.
_____
Eddie had decided to stay an extra day in Texas. He had no reason to get back so quickly, he didn’t go back to work for a few more days.
He had taken a lot of time off, and he knew he was going to have to take on extra shifts once he was back and Christopher was back at school so he could make up for it, but the time he’d been able to have with his son and his family was worth that.
The kids had been begging since Christmas to go to this new park a few blocks away, so they finally agreed to take them the day before Eddie and Christopher were due to take the long drive back to LA.
He sat with Teresa on the bench, coffees in hand as they watched their kids on the playground. There was a reinforced swing that was perfect for Christopher, and Adriana was over playing with him and the others, albeit slowly.
“You sure we should be letting her follow them around like that?” Eddie asked as he watched, Teresa snorting from beside him.
“You want to be the one to tell her to take it easy?” she said, making Eddie grin.
“Guess not.”
He had been trying not to think about Buck since he left, despite the kids asking why he had to leave, and Christopher asking if they were going to see him when they got back to LA. He couldn’t help but think that Buck would love playing with the kids at this park, and Adriana might actually let him step in and tell her to have a break.
“You’re doing it again,” Teresa said, and they had been bickering about this enough since before new years that he knew what she was implying.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “We are not having this conversation again.”
“Well, stop looking so damn miserable,” she said.
“I am not–” he sighed, shaking his head. “It was never meant to be anything. I don’t even know what I was thinking asking him to come with us.”
In a way, Eddie wished that he hadn’t ever approached Buck in that diner. Then he could go back to LA and just resume his life like none of it happened, like he believed that maybe one day he would find someone who made him feel all of those things instead of knowing Buck was out there, and that he let him go.
“Maybe it was el destino intervening,” she said, making him scoff.
“I don’t know if fate would be that cruel,” he grumbled.
“No one said she was kind,” Teresa said. “But you know he didn’t have to leave. So maybe it was for the best. So you didn’t get yourself in any deeper.”
“Yeah he did,” Eddie said, and it was Teresa’s turn to scoff.
“Oh, for the bruja who broke his heart?” she said.
“I get it, okay? Wanting to hear her out,” he said. “It was something he had to do, I just… jumped in right in the middle of it. Bad timing.”
“Oh you get it?” she said with a shake of her head. “If Shannon just came back after everything she put you through, would you have walked away from him?”
“I would have wanted to get the closure,” he said.
“Closure,” she said, like the whole thing made her angrier than it did Eddie. “Leaving you? And Christopher? Breaking your hearts? Is that not enough? I suppose in your case it’s a little different. She is still legally your wife.”
Eddie looked down at the coffee in his hands, fingers picking at the seam where the paper wrapped around and met in the middle, peeling it back. He had only said it once out loud, and that was to Buck back when he barely knew him.
Saying it to Teresa, to someone who had known him in the before, it made it feel all the more real.
“She served me with divorce papers,” he said, and Teresa just sighed slowly. “That’s why I came out here in the first place. I needed um… well, I guess I don’t really know what I needed.”
She hesitated for a few moments before she said anything, reaching out at putting a hand on his knew and giving him a reassuring squeeze.
“Maybe what you needed found you,” she said softly.
Eddie shook his head.
He looked up and out at where Christopher was smiling and laughing up at his aunt,
“I need him to be happy, and safe,” he said, nodding over to Chris. “That’s all I need.”
His jaw sat tight as he kept his eyes on him, trying not to remember the way his face had lit up at all the times Buck had played with him, talked to him about all of his random facts, or the way he laughed when Buck made jokes. He tried not to think about the way he had looped his arms around Buck when he said goodbye, burying his face in his neck and asking him when he was coming back.
Teresa squeezed her hand tighter before pulling it away, sitting back and watching the kids as the grey clouds started creeping into the sky above them.
“Keep telling yourself that,” she said. “Eventually you might believe it.”
_____
The one eighteen station was bigger than Buck had expected, and he knew he was probably walking in with his eyes wide and mouth open wider as he looked around and drank it all in, but he couldn't help it.
He was introduced to the captain, Bobby Nash, followed by some of the other firefighters Hen and Chimney. There's a story there apparently, and they were going to let him in on it once he got himself changed and ready to go.
He felt at home from the get-go, everyone was perfectly welcoming and there was a big feast on the table in the loft upstairs that smelled amazing. He pushed that ache inside him down as he wore his smile over it and went to change ready for the first call.
They spent the better part of the morning somewhat interrogating him, the usual stuff, where he was from, what got him into firefighting, his family, dating anyone? He flinched at that, telling them there was a story there too. They seemed more than a little intrigued, but the bell rang with the first call of the day and they were off quickly, the promise of a rain check left in the firehouse loft.
Their first call wasn't too dramatic. It was a car crash, but no major injuries, and Buck even got to use the jaws of life. He felt a kind of rush that he never had at the academy, and the feeling of being useful, getting thanked by the people in need of help and being able to get them safely back to their loved ones, it was something he knew he could get addicted to. All he had ever wanted was to be helpful.
They had a couple of other calls immediately after, and the ache in him started to subside a little as Buck realised this was exactly where he wanted to be. It still lingered though, the memory of something else he wanted but knew he could never have.
"So Buck," Chimney said as he walked into the loft after a shower, the last call leaving him covered in dust from head to toe. "What's this long story of yours?"
Buck run a hand through his wet hair, looking down and shaking his head.
"You don't want to be bored with my depressing love life, do you?" he said with a light chuckle.
Hen and Chim looked between themselves and then back to Buck, answering in unison.
"Yes."
"Can't get away from it in here kid," Bobby said from the kitchen where he was preparing lunch for them all.
Buck sighed, they all seemed like a close knit group. He had already heard bits and pieces about Hen's wife and son, about Chimney and why they all call him that, about how Bobby moved from Minnesota to take over as captain of the one eighteen. The only way to fully initiate himself would be to share his own hard and ugly truth.
“Come on, we need to know why you’ve been so qu– reserved,” Chim said, earning a warning glance from the others as he almost slipped up with his words. He turned back to Buck, “some words, we just don’t use around here. First lesson Probie.”
“Oh, that’s the first lesson?” Hen said with a brow raised and a teasing glance over to Buck. “Not ‘don’t step under the ventilation shaft after a dust storm’?”
“He does seem a little gloomy,” Bobby said, giving Buck a thoughtful look. “Can’t be that bad, surely.”
“I’m sure it’s not all that interesting,” Buck said, shaking his head with a shrug, and the team shared looks all around like they didn’t believe a word.
“We have a lot of time left on shift,” Bobby said. “We could use a good story.”
“Not sure I’ve got one of those,” Buck mumbled.
“We like scary stories too,” Chim grinned, earning a glare from Hen.
“Alright, fine,” Buck said, sighing when he realised there wasn’t really a way out of this one.
He started by telling them about Abby, the good parts, and then about the failed romantic gesture. Then there was Eddie, and Christopher, and Texas and Mistletoe and dancing. He knew what it sounded like as he told the story, he could hear in his voice exactly what Maddie had said that morning.
He glazed over Abby, and then he felt the tightness in his cheeks as he spoke about what it was like spending Christmas with the Diaz’s. Then came the ache, the one that never really left him, and now as he had to say everything out loud it started growling in his belly, like his memory and his words had woken it.
"Hold up," Hen said, putting a hand in the air to stop him and narrowing her eyes. "You had a ridiculously hot man invite you to Christmas, let you into his family, kiss you until you couldn't think straight... and then you told him you wanted to go back to your girlfriend? The same one who left you miserable and crushed your heart?"
"I never said I wanted to go back to her," Buck said. "Just that I thought I should hear her out."
“Yeah, I’m sure you made that part really clear before you left,” Chim said dryly.
“So you’re gloomy and stupid,” Hen said, her tone mocking but her smile warm.
“Yeah,” Buck nodded. “That’s pretty much me.”
“Well why don’t you look Eddie up?” Chim said. “Tell him how you feel, that you regret leaving.”
“Hey, I asked him if there was a reason to stay,” Buck said. “He didn’t have one. It was stupid anyway, I mean I couldn’t expect anything of him, we just met, it’s my fault for letting myself get attached. It clearly never works out for me.”
“Oh, you’re stupid alright,” Hen said, shaking her head with a smile before the bell started going off.
“Saved by–” Chim started.
“You make that same joke every time we get someone new in here,” Hen said, cutting him off as they got up to head to the call.
“It’s a classic!”
_____
JANUARY 8TH
Eddie settled back into work like he had never left. On his first day back he picked up a double, he needed the money.
He didn’t want to start by leaving Christopher with Abuela and Tia Pepa for long stints, but he had to take what he could get.
It almost felt like he was on autopilot most of the time. He was tired, sure, but it wasn’t more so than he was used to. He just tried to keep himself busy so he didn’t think about the way things could have been.
He sat at the kitchen table in the morning as Christopher stirred and started getting himself ready for school – I can do it myself dad.
The envelope with the divorce papers he had received late last year sat in front of him and he just stared down with a sigh. All he had to do was sign, and yet every time he thought about it, he felt the energy drain out of him.
Most of the time it just had him wondering how his life got to this point.
He heard Christopher walking in and looked up with a smile.
“Hey Bud,” he said. “You almost ready to go? Don’t need more breakfast?”
“No dad,” he said, sitting down at the table opposite Eddie, who just pushed the envelope aside.
“Okay then,” Eddie chuckled.
Christopher looked up at Eddie’s LAFD shirt, he was about to start a twenty-four-hour shift. Eddie noticed the way he stared at it, chewing on his lip a little like he wanted to ask something.
He usually wasn’t shy of saying what was on his mind, like most kids, so Eddie narrowed his eyes pensively.
“Something wrong?” he asked, making Chris shrug.
“Do you get to see Buck when you go to work?” he asked, and Eddie felt it like a sharp jab under his ribs, he hadn’t expected that.
“Uh… no, he… Buck works at a different station to me,” he said.
“Oh,” Chris said, looking down at the table.
Eddie sighed. He had made such a big impression in just a few days, and Eddie almost forgot that it hadn’t just been on him, but Christopher too.
“You miss him,” he said warmly.
“Buck is my friend,” he said.
“I know Chris,” Eddie said, taking in a breath as he tried to think of what else to say.
“You miss him too,” Chris said, and Eddie’s brow furrowed.
“Why do you say that?” he asked, almost before he could stop himself.
“You smiled more when he was with us.”
Eddie felt a lump rise in his throat.
He probably wasn’t wrong, Eddie had felt more relaxed and at ease and just comfortable with Buck around than he had in a long time. He just didn’t realise that Christopher had noticed it too.
“Did you guys have a fight?” he asked, and Eddie bit down on the inside of his cheek.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No nothing like that. He just had his own life to get back to. That’s all.”
“But we were his Christmas wish,” Chris said.
“What?”
“Buck said that for Christmas he wished every year could be like this one,” Chris said. “Because he was with you and me.”
“He said that?” Eddie said softly, and Chris nodded.
Then he remembered one of the things he and Buck had talked about after their kiss, while they sat outside in the quiet of the night. When he had tucked Christopher in they talked about their favourite parts of Christmas.
Eddie asked him what his was, and his cheeks had flushed, his shoulder rubbing hot against Eddie’s as he shrugged.
“Never really had a whole lot of reasons to like Christmas, but I might be changing my mind. Snow angels, and mistletoe… they’re definitely up there.”
Part of him thought that maybe it was just something he said to comfort Christopher, to get him to go to sleep when all he was doing was asking one hundred questions to get out of it.
But what if he wasn’t? In all the days they spent together, Eddie never saw Buck outright lie to Chris, he always talked to him as a person first, kid second. He wouldn’t say something he didn’t mean.
His mind flickered back to the words Buck had used on his last day in Texas.
“Unless… is there a reason I shouldn’t?”
Maybe he wasn’t trying to give Eddie an out, maybe he just wanted to know if Eddie wanted something more than just a kiss under some mistletoe, more than just one good night.
There was only one way he was going to find out. Worst case he would end up full circle, but just maybe, if he had been wrong, he could end up with Buck.
“Alright, come on,” he said to Chris. “You’re going to be late for school.”
Chris groaned, but he pushed away from the table so he could go and get his school bag.
As Eddie stood, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and searched for Lena’s number.
“Bosko,” he said as Lena answered the phone with a grumbling ‘I will literally see you in twenty, Diaz’. He chuckled, heart racing as the courage he had been missing started to find him. “Might need your help with something.”
_____
JANUARY 9TH
In the one week since becoming a firefighter, Buck had seen a lot of things, and he’d grown close with some of the crew and the captain of the one eighteen.
It almost felt like he’d been there a lot longer. He preferred being there to when he was alone in Maddie’s apartment scrolling through listings for one of his own. She had just started at nine-one-one dispatch, and their shifts were out of sync for a while.
At least when he had her around to talk to he wasn’t left with all the thoughts in his head swirling around aimlessly.
He tried to avoid thinking about Eddie and Christopher, he needed to move on. But it was still early in the year, and people would bring things up from the holidays and the first thing Buck did would be to chime in with his own anecdote, which just so happened to include the Diaz’s.
Every time he said Eddie’s name Hen and Chim would give one another looks, they had even started a running tally which Buck did not find helpful or amusing.
He had just started his shift, and they all sat up in the loft as Bobby prepped the slow cooker for their lunch.
That was one of the amazing things about the one-eighteen. Bobby was a phenomenal cook, and he insisted on feeding the station every shift and eating together like a family.
It made Buck feel like he finally had a home, more so than he ever had in his life.
There was only one thing missing.
"I didn't know we had a new recruit cap," Hen said as she stood at the railing and looked down at the person walking in through the main doors wearing an LAFD shirt.
"We don't," Bobby said, narrowing his eyes at her as he walked over to take a look.
Chim and Buck exchanged a glance and got up to see who it was, and Buck felt all the air get sucked out of his chest.
"Eddie?" he said softly, taking quick steps towards the stairs as Eddie looked up to see him with a smile.
"That's Eddie?" Chim said, eyebrows high on his forehead.
"Damn," Hen said, shaking her head. "I mean, I like girls, but damn."
Buck's feet were moving faster than his mind and he was almost worried about slipping down the stairs and making a fool of himself because he couldn't tear his eyes off Eddie, but he made it back to solid ground and walked forward to meet him.
"Eddie," he said again, lips pulled up in an amazed smile. "What are you doing here?"
Eddie chuckled, looking down at his feet a moment as he took a step closer.
"I mean, hi," Buck said, shaking his head.
"Hey," Eddie said, and the sound of his voice in Buck's ears sent a warm feeling through him.
"Hi," Buck said again, making Eddie grin.
"You weren't wrong, there's a lot of Evans' in the fire department," he said. "But uh, only one at the one-eighteen."
"You... went looking for me?" Buck said, hands knit together by his belly as he fidgeted anxiously.
“Had to promise a favour to one of my crew to get her to help, but yeah,” he said. “I went looking for you.”
Buck didn’t know what to say, he just swallowed hard and nodded. Eddie seemed to have the words ready.
"I wasn't... I guess I wasn't happy with how things left, between us," Eddie said, looking at Buck like he was waiting for some kind of reaction. "I think there were maybe some things left unsaid, or there was on my part anyway."
"There was?" Buck asked, and he thought maybe Eddie could hear his heart beating as loudly as he did, it echoed through his ears, and he felt the vibration of it in his chest.
"Yeah," Eddie said, nodding, and then exhaling in a particularly heavy breath.
"If you regret what happened between us under the mistletoe-" Buck started, and Eddie put his hands up, shaking his head.
"No! No, the opposite actually," Eddie said quickly. "I regret everything after that. I regret not saying what I really felt, and letting you get on a bus back to LA."
He stepped in again, looking up into Buck's eyes with a soft expression, a nervous smile working its way onto his lips.
"When I asked you to sit with us in that diner on Christmas Eve, I thought I was just doing something nice for a stranger, Christmas spirit and all of that," he said. "I had no idea that I was going to feel the way I did, that you would be this... kind and sweet, stupidly charming person, full of completely useless facts and just... radiating this kind of positive energy. I mean, I knew you were beautiful," he said, making Buck's cheeks glow with a pink hue as he dropped his eyes a moment. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice that. I just wasn't expecting you to be everything else, to be... as wonderful as you are."
Buck swallowed hard, Eddie's words filling him with a kind of warmth that he wasn't used to. He had been described in a lot of ways, and mostly what he was familiar with was people telling him that he was good looking physically, starting there and working down. And that was fine, it was, because he knew he was a lot of people's version of attractive, and so many times that was enough to get people to want him, and then when they got closer, saw the rest of him, that's when they decided he wasn't good enough. But Eddie? He spoke about Buck like that part was a bonus, like the parts of him he really found beautiful were all the ones that everyone else had found so exhausting.
"And Christopher... he loves you," Eddie said, letting out a laugh in a single breath as though he had been holding that word inside him for so long. "He loves you, I think it took him a whole twenty-four hours to love you... and I wasn't all that far behind him."
His eyes were soft, adoring. He shook his head slowly as if he couldn't believe how easy it had really been for Buck to work his way into his heart. It happened without him even realising.
Buck's heart pounded in his chest and his palms were sweating as he tried to figure out whether he'd heard those words right, and Eddie took a slow step closer to him.
"I have been falling for you, since that first moment in the diner, and every moment after that," Eddie said, close enough now that Buck could see the heat in his cheeks, the wet sheen of his lip where he had hesitantly sucked it between his teeth, the sparkle in those deep brown eyes. "And when you asked me if there was a reason why you shouldn't go back to LA... I made a mistake. I thought I was giving you what you wanted, I thought I was letting you go without having to feel guilty about what happened between us, but it wasn't because I didn't want you to stay. I don't know what happened between you and your girlfriend when you got back-"
"Ex," Buck said, interrupting. "Ex-girlfriend."
The corners of Eddie's mouth twitched up in a small smile.
"Evan I should have asked you to stay there with me, because I was falling in love with you," he said, his voice coming out gentler than Buck had heard it since that moment under the mistletoe. "And I want more than just a few days with you. I want all of the days with you."
Buck thought his heart might beat right out of his chest. He heard every word that came out of Eddie's mouth, but his mind was stuck in the middle.
I was falling in love with you.
There was a fleeting look of uncertainty in Eddie's gaze, probably from the fact that Buck had spent too many moments in silence as he processed it all.
"If... if that's something you wanted too," Eddie said, and there it was.
That beaming smile of Buck's that made Eddie feel weightless.
"I mean, that depends," Buck shrugged, a playful glint in his eye. "Did that black cowboy hat make the trip back with you?"
Eddie rolled his eyes, grinning as he shook his head.
"It may have found it's way into the truck," he said, narrowing his eyes at him as Buck hummed out a laugh.
"You have no idea how much I have been thinking about that hat," he grinned.
"I might," Eddie said, shrugging right back. "Didn't ruin that red sweater in the snow, did you?"
Eddie's lips broke into a matching grin and they both laughed. Buck reached out to slip his fingers into Eddie's hand.
"Eddie, I want everything with you," he said, voice back to being soft and sweet, blue eyes shining down at him.
Eddie smiled, his other hand reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of mistletoe, holding it between them with an expectant gaze before Buck was leaning in and crashing their lips together. There had been something missing, that familiar feeling that comes when you return from travelling that Eddie just never quite settled into on the way back from El Paso, he was full of unrest, it sat in the pit of his stomach and growled like a hunger he couldn't fill. But now? Kissing Buck felt like coming home should, and that ache in his belly faded, spreading warmth through him until he could feel it in his fingertips, in his ears, Buck's arms slipping around him and pulling Eddie against him, the warmth spreading to every place they touched.
For a moment everything around them became hazy, like nothing else around them mattered. As Buck pulled his lips back, nose brushing Eddie's while his hands tightened around him they heard the sound of cheering coming from above, looking up to see Bobby, Hen and Chim clapping and jeering down at the two of them.
Buck and Eddie let out relieved laughter, Eddie dropping his head down onto Buck's shoulder as Buck shook his head, turning to the side to kiss Eddie's temple, breathing him in deeply before nuzzling his cheek against him.
"How long is your shift?" Eddie asked, pulling back only slightly, Buck's arms still holding him in place.
"I'm not off until eight in the morning," Buck said with a sigh, followed by a glance back up to his crew, Chim now gesturing to them like he was about to start spouting sonnets at them. "Though I get the impression it's going to feel a whole lot longer."
Eddie chuckled, looking up with an eyebrow raised as Hen dragged Chim back with a shake of her head.
"How about I pick you up for breakfast then?" he said, reaching up to put his hand against Buck's neck, thumb gently stroking the underside of his jaw. "Christopher has been dying to see you again too."
Buck's heart swelled at the thought, realising that he was just as excited to see Christopher's beaming smile as he had been to see Eddie walk into the firehouse.
"I'd really, really like that," he said, and Eddie leant in slowly, just like he had done the night of their first kiss, lips finding Buck's as easily as though they'd been doing it for years.
He closed his eyes and just let himself sink into the feeling of being held by Eddie. It was warm, and safe, he made Buck feel like he would never let go, like he would do anything to keep him in his arms and let him know that he needed him.
"Did I mention I was falling for you too?" Buck said, Eddie's smile lighting up as he laughed. "Because I was, I am."
"I can read between the lines," he said. "I'll see you in the morning then."
He started to pull away but Buck gripped his arm and pulled him back, closing his eyes as their lips met one more time, breathing him in and wondering if this still counted as a Christmas miracle.
"Can't wait," he murmured against Eddie's lips, reluctant to drag himself away, until the station bell started ringing.
They both looked up at the sound, and Buck gave Eddie a grin as he finally left his arms to head out on the call.
Eight a.m. couldn't come around fast enough.
_____
DECEMBER 24TH, One Year Later
Buck sat on the couch at Eddie's place, shoulder propped up under Eddie's arm as the clock ticked over into the final hour before Christmas day. Eddie's arm lay over Buck's shoulders and propped up on the back of the couch, his thumb gently stroking his arm as he blinked lazily, followed by a heavy sigh.
"You getting too old for late nights there?" Buck teased, turning his head to smirk at Eddie.
"Excuse me, who's the one who finished a twenty-four hour shift this morning?" Eddie said, giving Buck's arm a squeeze.
"And who's the one who finished wrapping all the presents and sorted dinner so that someone could have a decent nap?" Buck grinned, making Eddie chuckle.
"What would we do without you, hmm?" he said, eyeing Buck with adoration and making Buck's ears turn a shade of pink.
He shifted his arm so that he could put his hand to the back of Buck's head, fingers carding through his soft hair, the curls starting to show through. Buck sighed softly as Eddie pressed his fingers into the tight muscle, working out any tension left there.
Buck closed his eyes and leant into the touch, he hoped he would never have to know the answer to that question. This last year with Eddie and Christopher had made him feel so content, so full and so surrounded by love. It was a better feeling than he ever could have imagined, and Eddie was... he was perfect. They just worked together, it was like both of them just slotted into the other's life in exactly the right ways, it had never felt so easy, so comfortable and right.
"Hey," Eddie said softly, his fingers dragging across Buck's skin until they were under his jaw, tilting it upwards.
Buck looked up to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling above them and a smile spread across his lips, "wonder how that got there?"
Eddie hummed affectionately and let his hand fall back to Buck's hair again, pulling him in slowly until their lips pressed together, soft and slow, and wonderfully familiar. Buck closed his eyes as the feeling soaked through him, his fingers reaching up to brush over Eddie's chest so he could rest his palm over the gentle thrum of his heartbeat. He felt Eddie shuffle slightly, and then he was pulling his lips back until they were just brushing one another.
"Got you something," he said, the words vibrating off Buck's lips as his bright blue eyes fluttered open.
"It's not Christmas yet," he said with a smile, shifting so he could sit up beside him, and freezing when he saw the black velvet box in Eddie's left hand. "Eds..."
He said his name as he sucked in a breath, not knowing if it was Eddie's heart racing under his hand or his own that had started pounding in his chest.
"I know it's only been a year, almost," Eddie said, using his thumb to push the box open, his other hand rubbing slow circles at the top of Buck's neck. "And I'm only just divorced, and I probably should have asked you before I just... asked you, but I've known I've wanted this for a long time. I think maybe I knew last Christmas, when you made those snow angels with Chris, and I was teaching you to dance in the kitchen, or when you had on that ridiculously tight red sweater," he smiled, his cheeks tight from his smile and glowing from the nervous blush. "When you kissed me under the mistletoe..."
Buck was just staring back at him with glassy eyes, his chest rising heavily as he let Eddie's words sink in. He looked down at the golden band in the velvet-lined box, his lips parted as though he wanted to say something but there were no words left in him, so he just turned his gaze back to Eddie's warm honey-soaked eyes, looking back at him like he had never been more sure of anything.
"I can't imagine my life without you, Evan," he said, his hand reaching back to cup his cheek, thumb grazing the corner of his eye before the tears in them could fall. "And it doesn't have to be in a month, or a year, it can be whenever you're ready, but say you'll marry me?"
Buck's lips twitched into a smile, and as his brain fumbled getting the words to his mouth they heard a muffled voice from the hallway.
"You have to say yes!"
They gave one another a look before letting out a laugh, one that made the tears finally streak down Buck's cheek.
"Christopher," Eddie said as though he meant it as a warning, but his grin was anything but angry.
"It's the rules of mistletoe, you have to say yes!"
They laughed again, Eddie leaning in until his forehead was pressed against Buck's, and Buck's fingers tightened in the fabric of Eddie's shirt.
"Well, you heard him," Buck said finally, and Eddie's gaze shifted.
"Is that a yes?" he said, his voice cracking at the end.
"Yeah," Buck said, nodding quickly, the grin growing wide on his lips. "Yes, I'll marry you Eds. Of course I'll marry you."
The smile that lit up Eddie's face was enough to send Buck's heart racing in his chest as their lips crashed together, all teeth and tears and exultant laughter.
"I love you," Eddie mumbled against Buck's lips in between soft kisses. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Buck said, tearing his lips from Eddie's to bury his face in the crook of his neck while Eddie held him tightly against him.
He chuckled, the movement vibrating against Buck's chest. Eddie pulled back, looking out towards the hall, "come on bud, I know you're still there."
There was a gleeful giggle from the hall as Christopher stepped out, he wasn't wearing his glasses and he had been using the wall to steady himself, crutches left behind. He took quick steps towards the couch and Eddie reached out to wrap an arm around him to pull him the rest of the way. He scooped him up until he was nestled between the two of them, his arms reaching up to wrap around Buck and Eddie's necks as they leant in to hug him right back.
Buck thinks he might just be the luckiest guy ever, hell, he knows he is.