Chapter Text
Hyena Stoker: BORED AGAIN!
Foxgirl Sasha: damn, that's too bad
Foxgirl Sasha: unfortunately, not my problem.
Foxgirl Sasha: sucks to suck
Hyena Stoker: literally why am i friends with u
Foxgirl Sasha: couldn't tell you
Cattleboy Martin: because ur in love w her but she was too good for you & now you have to settle for friends?
Hyena Stoker: o yes that
Hyena Stoker: forgot about our torrid romantic escapdades
Foxgirl Sasha: escapdades
Hyena Stoker: go die
Foxgirl Sasha: no thanks
Hyena Stoker: UNDERSGANDABLE JHAVE A NICE DAY
Cattleboy Martin: the reaper comes for sasha and she simply tells it no
Foxgirl Sasha: if you're going to die, don't!
Catboy Jon: Christ, why didn't I think of that?
Foxgirl Sasha: uhmmmmmmm. because you're a doof and i'm a genius. obviously
Catboy Jon: Obviously.
Foxgirl Sasha: more people should take my advice
Cattleboy Martin: what other wisdom can you dispense for us?
Foxgirl Sasha: KISS MORE MEN !!!
Hyena Stoker: ON IT BOSS
Cattleboy Martin: if only
Hyena Stoker: martin i am rapidlt approaching your location
Cattleboy Martin: youre what
Hyena Stoker: im going to kiss you
Cattleboy Martin: DO NOT?
Hyena Stoker: im unlatching your window as we speak
Cattleboy Martin: jokes on you
Cattleboy Martin: my windows dont unlatch
Hyena Stoker: FUCK
Hyena Stoker: im going to die out here in the cold & it will be all ur fault
Cattleboy Martin: youre blaming me for not having an unlatchable window & not sasha for sending you out here??
Hyena Stoker: yrs.
Hyena Stoker: sasha can do no wrong
Cattleboy Martin: i hate it here
Hyena Stoker: i also h8 it here (in the cold)
Foxgirl Sasha: new sasha advice is about to drop!
Hyena Stoker: OMG
Foxgirl Sasha: if you cannot get inside through socially acceptable means, become socially unacceptable!
Foxgirl Sasha: break that window, tim.
Cattleboy Martin: wtf ……………………….
Foxgirl Sasha: sorry martin. he was cold :(
Cattleboy Martin: im going to poison your tea on monday
Foxgirl Sasha: ok! i'll simply absorb it into my bloodstream like some kind of fucked up frog
Cattleboy Martin: puts you in a terrarium
Foxgirl Sasha: oh my god… thank you so much
Cattleboy Martin: then i put you outside with the top open, right underneath the birds nest
Foxgirl Sasha: NOOOOO
Foxgirl Sasha: MARTIN
Foxgirl Sasha: ☹️☹️
Foxgirl Sasha: I'M GONNA GET EATEN
Hyena Stoker: hmm
Hyena Stoker: what was it u said
Hyena Stoker: o yea
Hyena Stoker: SUCKS TO SUCK
Catboy Jon: Martin, please don't leave Sasha outside.
Catboy Jon: Her newly-poisoned bloodstream will decimate the local bird populations.
Catboy Jon: Can't have you arrested for biological warfare.
Foxgirl Sasha: YEAH, MARTIN!
Foxgirl Sasha: carry me back inside, peasant.
Cattleboy Martin: fine. ill just eat you myself
Cattleboy Martin: we'll both go down
Hyena Stoker: u wanna eat sasha ?????? 🤨 awfully suspish
Cattleboy Martin: tim.
Hyena Stoker: o god
Cattleboy Martin: im going to hunt you down and eliminate you
Hyena Stoker: PWEASE
Cattleboy Martin: PWEASE?
Hyena Stoker: pwease downt huwt me
Foxgirl Sasha: martin. i'm joining you. i will not allow such a wretched thing to go unchecked.
Foxgirl Sasha: i refuse to work alongside this freak for any longer!
Hyena Stoker: WTFFFFF U GUYS R SO MEAN 2 ME
Hyena Stoker: im tellign elias i QUIT
Foxgirl Sasha: do it pussy
Foxgirl Sasha: you won't
Hyena Stoker: o well now its a CHALLEGNE . i HAVE to nwo
Hyena Stoker: WATCH me
Hyena Stoker: openign my email neow….
Catboy Jon: You're just going to leave me here? All alone?
Foxgirl Sasha: ??? HELLO??????
Catboy Jon: Hello. Did you need something?
Foxgirl Sasha: BITCH
Foxgirl Sasha: I'M RIGHT HERE
Foxgirl Sasha: DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?
Catboy Jon: Wow, listen to that wind blow…
Foxgirl Sasha: BARKING SNARLING RIPPING TEARING CLAWING
Foxgirl Sasha: ok, i'm normal now. #normalgirl
Hyena Stoker: [IMG_78]
[Image ID: A shitty selfie of Tim posed in front of his laptop screen. The screen shows a Google Gmail tab, where a drafted email sits, reading:
"To whom it may concern,
FUCK YIU I QUIT SUCK MY NARDS
Regards, Timothy Stoker."
Tim himself is grinning wildly, two fingers making a peace-sign near his face.]
Foxgirl Sasha: ok now send it pussy
Foxgirl Sasha: i dare you
Hyena Stoker: why do yiu keep callign me a pussy
Foxgirl Sasha: uhhhhh feminism??? i don't fucking know
Foxgirl Sasha: stop asking me questions and send the email
Hyena Stoker: y would i ever do that
Foxgirl Sasha: it will be funny.
Hyena Stoker: oh so true
Hyena Stoker: NEVER SAID WHO I AHD TO SEND IT TO THO 😈😈😈
Foxgirl Sasha: ??? who did you send it to?
Hyena Stoker: WDYM
Hyena Stoker: i sent it to u :( for the bit :(
Catboy Jon: Smooth.
Hyena Stoker: thanj u thanku i try
Cattleboy Martin: not hard enough. you mistyped "thank you" twice in a row.
Hyena Stoker: 🖕
Foxgirl Sasha: HAH
Foxgirl Sasha: i didn't get anything
Foxgirl Sasha: suck it, cringelord.
Hyena Stoker: WTF
Hyena Stoker: no i need to do this now
Hyena Stoker: its a matter of prude and principle
Hyena Stoker: PRIDE NIT PRUDE
Hyena Stoker: GDI
Hyena Stoker: sasha quick whats ur email
Foxgirl Sasha: same as its always been, timtambimbam
Hyena Stoker: shut the hell ur mouf
Hyena Stoker: sending it
Foxgirl Sasha: still nothing LMFAOOO
Foxgirl Sasha: check your "Sent" tab
Hyena Stoker: DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF.
Hyena Stoker: ITS NOT THERE
Hyena Stoker: EITHER OF THEM
Cattleboy Martin: poor tim. his emails broken.
Cattleboy Martin: now he cant quit his job
Hyena Stoker: THIS IS HELL
Hyena Stoker: GET MEOUTE
Catboy Jon: How unfortunate. Whatever will you do?
Hyena Stoker: MARXH UP TO ELIAS'S OFFICE AND DROP A LETTER OF RESIGNATITON ON HIS DESK
Catboy Jon: Godspeed, then. I wish you luck on your endeavors.
Catboy Jon: In the meantime, I will continue to sit here in my office and wallow in pity.
Catboy Jon: Woe is me, for my one true friend in this world is departing from my space. I shall never recover.
Hyena Stoker: ok theatre kid
Hyena Stoker: really living up 2 that catboy name huh
Catboy Jon: I've changed my mind. If you don't quit I'm firing you myself.
Hyena Stoker: HAH
Cattleboy Martin: god that is funny though
Cattleboy Martin: tim is banned from quitting his job
Cattleboy Martin: no quitsies at the magnus institute
Hyena Stoker: STOP DO U THINK ITS SUPERNATURAL
Hyena Stoker: yeag im trapped in my evil job. no its not a metaphor for capitalism. im literally trapped. help me
Foxgirl Sasha: wouldn't be surprised, given the shit that goes on here
Hyena Stoker: AGREED
Cattleboy Martin: hey wait a minute .
Cattleboy Martin: "continue to sit here in my office"
Cattleboy Martin: jon . dont tell me youre still there .
Catboy Jon: Okay. I won't tell you, then.
Foxgirl Sasha: JON ????? LOL
Cattleboy Martin: its SATURDAY!!
Cattleboy Martin: WHY are you at work on a saturday??
Catboy Jon: To do work. Obviously.
Foxgirl Sasha: hey. watch that tone.
Catboy Jon: What? He's allowed to judge me, but I can't say anything back?
Hyena Stoker: WOAH lol
Hyena Stoker: everybody chill your horsies
Cattleboy Martin: CHILL YOUR HORSIES?
Hyena Stoker: i said what i said . respect the ponies
Hyena Stoker: wait no. that sounds weirsd
Hyena Stoker: WAIT NO IM GETTING DISTRACTED
Foxgirl Sasha: i just meant to reel it back a bit, jon. no biggie
Catboy Jon: …My apologies, then.
Hyena Stoker: ELIPSES USER
Foxgirl Sasha: tim
Hyena Stoker: o no
Cattleboy Martin: sorry, didn't mean to judge !! i was just a little confused :(
Hyena Stoker: he broke iut the frowney face. ur really in it now sims
Cattleboy Martin: you already go out of your way to come in early and stay a little later. figured youd be tired enough to take a weekend break
Cattleboy Martin: that was all
Catboy Jon: That would make sense, I suppose.
Hyena Stoker: ohhh, he SUPPOSES
Catboy Jon: Shut it, Tim.
Hyena Stoker: >:0
Catboy Jon: I'd just… Like to get a bit more done. We do seem to have our work cut out for us, down here. Might as well get on it while I still have the momentum.
Cattleboy Martin: i mean. i GUESS
Hyena Stoker: oooooooo
Hyena Stoker: he only says that when he has something tobsay but doesnt want to keep arguing
Hyena Stoker: doing my boy here WRONG, j money
Cattleboy Martin: TIMMMMM
Foxgirl Sasha: stop stoking the fire, tim
Foxgirl Sasha: hah. stoking. that was NOT on purpose
Hyena Stoker: FIIIIIINE
Hyena Stoker: in that case im gonna take a fuckign NAP
Hyena Stoker: sleeby time
Foxgirl Sasha: yeaaaaaagh, you'd BETTER run!!
Foxgirl Sasha: 🖕🖕🖕
Foxgirl Sasha: goodnight :) 💜
Hyena Stoker: its AFTERNOON. good AFTERNOON
Hyena Stoker: 🧡
Hyena Stoker: snooooork mimimimimi
Hyena Stoker: goodbye for now
Cattleboy Martin: bye tim 💙
Catboy Jon: Goodbye, Tim.
Hyena Stoker: :3
Foxgirl Sasha: …it's gotten quiet.
Foxgirl Sasha: SURELY tim doesn't carry all our conversations.
Cattleboy Martin: well. i mean .
Catboy Jon: I'm certainly not about to make an attempt.
Foxgirl Sasha: this is sad. we're sad.
Catboy Jon: Indeed.
Foxgirl Sasha: ok FINE THEN. i'm gonna go play vimdeo gabes
Foxgirl Sasha: if you need anything. too bad 💜
Foxgirl Sasha: that's a joke btw. text me if you need me!
Catboy Jon: Alright. Have fun.
Foxgirl Sasha: i WILL, thank you very much. see ya