Chapter Text
His head swims when his body fails to.
Icy water pours deep into his lungs, and yet, burns in a way that is cruelly similar to fire.
He has always known the ocean to be unforgiving. The light upon the water’s surface taunts him, as if help is just beyond his reach; as if, had his limbs not yet begun to feel heavier than they should, he could’ve pulled himself out from sheer will alone.
That, however, is not the case. The ocean strips him of the air in his lungs and whatever pride he has left and leaves him with the stinging of salt in his insides.
He expects death to be as dark as the deep that pulls him under.
He does not expect death to be so quiet.
The only sound he hears as black spots obscure his vision and his thoughts become stagnant is the ringing of his own ears. His existence, what once seemed as bold and assured as the sun itself, now holds on by the thread of his heartbeat.
His consciousness dissolves until there is nothing to make of it.
The Kai of this time, he is dead to the waves that claim him. He will never wake up.
But another will.
It is akin to a dreamless sleep before Kai is able to reclaim some sense of thought, though he is entirely unsure of how much time has passed. Not that that’s his main concern, seeing as his consciousness is temporary and he slips in and out of it despite his best efforts.
He reaches out for a tether to keep him grounded in the waking world. He can’t find one. Every sensation is fuzzy and the sole thing to focus on is the ache hammering in his skull and the way his chest constricts. He is cold, his bones shiver, and the only warmth that does not flicker comes from the darkness he has just escaped.
He considers, for a fleeting moment, following it. Be that as it may, stubbornness runs deep in his veins and refuses to let him give in so easily. He will wake up, or he will quite literally die trying.
Headfirst, then, Kai is thrown into a world that sinks its talons into his chest. It’s a weight that presses down on him from all directions, and lights his body up into a stinging barrage of pins and needles. He’s traded his mind being asleep for his body, and he cannot move.
He can’t move.
He can’t move.
He can move.
Barely, just enough that his hand twitches. Yes, the movement serves to worsen his already-bad-enough paraesthesia, but it’s enough to calm his nerves. He is alive. He is breathing. And right now that seems to be enough.
Kai latches onto that feeling. Opening, closing, opening his hand as if the movement is his final lifeline. It brings awareness and control to the rest of his body.
Enough that he can open his eyes.
And immediately close them; it’s like a sunburst has seared itself into his brain. Far too bright.
He tries again, slower this time. It takes a while before he adjusts to the brightness and the black in the corner of his vision fades, but it does, within time, and he is greeted with the somehow recognizable sight of the Destiny’s Bounty’s ceiling.
He hadn't registered up until this point that his hearing had been impaired, but the sounds do not pity him and rush through his ears at volumes louder than they should be. The hiss of a breathing ventilator, gentle beeps of a heart rate monitor, both things that he notes are connected to himself. It’s all enough to clue him into the fact he’s in the sick-bay.
And someone’s speaking to him.
Has been speaking to him.
He wonders why he didn’t figure that out sooner.
“⸺hear me? You’re— you’re awake, aren’t you?”
The voice is tired, quiet, as if all the energy has been sucked out of it and replaced by something else that Kai… can’t quite identify.
But the voice is Lloyd’s.
The realization lends some sense of familiarity to the strangeness he’s woken up to. With a deep breath, he turns his head, as taxing as that simple movement is, and finds himself staring into Lloyd’s eyes.
They’re misty.
His face is red.
He’s been crying.
Kai can take a guess as to why.
“I’m… ‘m awake, ‘m fine,” he mumbles. His words slur together, and the ventilator’s mask muffles them, but the effect they have on Lloyd is evident. His eyes widen, and the corner of his mouth lifts in what is almost a smile. Kai can feel his relief as if it is his own.
“First Spinjitzu Master, I— you’re… I thought for a minute that you weren’t gonna…” he trails off. It doesn’t matter, Kai knows what he was going to say anyways.
If only he knew why he had been unconscious in the first place. Yes, that’d been a question that had been whispering in the back of every thought since he’s been aware, but he pushes it down, as he’s been doing, for the time being.
“You’re…” Kai searches for something to say in the silence that’d followed. “Y’ look diff’rent.”
He doesn’t process his own words as he says them, but no, he’s right, Lloyd looks different. Not the difference of a day. The difference of a story that hasn’t been told.
Or one he hasn’t heard.
His gi, for instance, is not just green as Kai remembers. It’s accented by a golden, almost orange, yellow, along with a gray that borders on black. His hair is longer as well, now around shoulder-length.
More importantly is a scar that runs from the bridge of his nose to his hairline, jagged like shattered glass. It looks like it has only just finished healing.
It leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
For one reason or another, Lloyd doesn’t respond. Not immediately, at least. He crosses his arms over his chest furrows his brows, as if considering something. He only looks more confused the more seconds that pass.
It makes Kai rather confused as well.
“I don’t,” he says finally. “What do you mean?”
“Wha’d’ you mean? Y’ look older… ‘n’ you got a scar on y’r face.”
“You were there when I got it,” Lloyd murmurs. There’s a bitterness there that makes Kai wince. He’s missing something.
He tries to shake his head. It’s hard with how tired he is and the countless machines attached to him. He settles instead on a quiet grunt of disagreement. To Lloyd’s credit, he seems to understand what the sound means.
“Do you... not remember?"
"No." His voice is weak. He hates it.
"Are you— are you lying?"
Kai doesn’t know why he would be. Regardless, he repeats, “no.”
Lloyd goes silent again, scratching the side of his head and averting his gaze. It’s so unlike him that Kai would rather focus on the pain in his chest than whatever’s going on with his brother.
He feels like he should be a little more concerned about it, but this whole situation is strange and overwhelming.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” asks his brother, still not meeting his gaze.
And it should be an easy question. By all means, it’s just six words. One sentence.
He tries to answer. Tries to say anything . But when he opens his mouth the only thing that comes out is a pitiful whine.
He doesn’t know.
Up until a certain point, his memories are clear, they’re fine. But then they start to get fuzzy, hushed, and then they stop altogether.
He doesn’t remember how Lloyd got that scar.
He doesn’t remember how he got here.
He doesn’t remember what happened.
Lloyd excuses himself a few moments later. He says he needs to talk to the other ninja.
Kai almost objects, because the room feels threatening without him and he doesn’t want to think right now and he needs something to distract him, but he can’t bring himself to say anything.
So he waits in silence, but the silence is deafening, and it seems to Kai like it stretches on forever, until it's been weeks and he’s still just here and nothing’s making any sense—
The door opens.
Lloyd’s back, this time with Zane tagging along behind him. He doesn’t look as different as Lloyd does, but his gi is also new to him. Still white, still with blue accents, but the blue is a darker shade than it was previously and it's paired with a bit of black.
Now, Zane’s always been harder to read than most people. Kai likes to think he’s known him long enough to read him anyways.
But right now, Zane’s expression is entirely indecipherable to him.
It figures that his tone would be, as well.
“Greetings, Kai. I am glad that you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Tired ‘n’ bad… it feels like I w’s hit by a truck or someth’n…”
“Ah, well, I can reassure you that you did not get hit by a truck, though I can’t say what happened is much better.”
“M’kay… then what happ’ned?”
Zane exchanges a look with Lloyd, who nods.
“You drowned,” Zane says simply, and it’s so straight-forward but it makes Kai’s heart beat a little too fast, and he’s more aware than ever of the tightness in his chest and FSM even with the ventilator it’s getting harder to breathe.
“I… I what?”
“You drowned,” he repeats, quieter this time. “For approximately fifteen minutes. You’ve been in a coma for the past few hours.”
“That— doesn’t—”
“Doesn’t make sense. Lloyd told me you might be experiencing memory issues. I know he already asked you this, but what is the last thing you remember?”
His last memory. Right, yeah, he still has memories. Some are fuzzy, some are clear, but what’s the last one?
It takes longer than he would’ve liked to admit for him to come up with an answer.
“Me ‘n’ Jay were taking care of a robbery in the city, in the museum. I… we took care of it and went back to the monastery.” He’s gotten a little used to talking at this point, though it’s still a discomfort he tries to ignore. “That’s— that’s the last thing.”
Zane looks at Lloyd again. He hates how much it annoys him. Like they know something he doesn’t. They do know something he doesn’t.
Lloyd speaks next. “That was probably about…” He trails off, shakes his head, and finally looks him in the eyes again. “About six or seven months ago.”
Six or seven months.
Kai smiles. Then he laughs. He’s not sure why, it’s not funny, and he’s sure Lloyd’s not joking because Lloyd would never joke about something like this but he doesn’t know what else to do, how to react to that.
Months.
His laughter devolves into heavy breathing.
Months.
The vital signs monitor is beeping. His heart-rate has sky-rocketed.
Months.
What the fuck had happened?