Chapter Text
It was the fact Tony was comfortable – way too comfortable – that woke him up. Muscles tensing, he lifted his upper body off of the couch, searching for danger. Idiot, he berated himself. How could he allow himself to fall asleep and give Pepper an advantage?!
But then he looked over his shoulder and there she was. Sprawled on the other couch. Still asleep.
“Morning.”
Tony craned his neck over the top of the backrest to where the whisper came from. Peter sat at the table, quietly tapping away at his keyboard. “Why are you awake already?” Tony asked as he sat up properly. “It’s… uh… Friday, what time is it?”
“6:24, Boss.”
“Right. Why are you awake at 6:24?”
The kid shrugged. “I crashed early yesterday, so I woke up early.”
“Uh-huh.” Tony rubbed at his face. “Watcha working on?”
“Homework. Morning, Ms. Potts,” he said without looking away from the screen.
Tony’s head snapped towards the other couch, where Pepper was already sat up. He didn’t hear her wake up. “Welcome back to the land of the living,” he grinned.
Pepper rolled her eyes. “I’m surprised you’re still in the land of the living.”
“So mean.”
Peter raised an eyebrow over the top of the screen, but didn’t comment on it.
“Anyway,” Tony clapped his hands together and stood up, “Friday, be a dear and start the coffee maker to get me through these ungodly hours?”
“On it, Boss.”
“What do you want for breakfast, Peter?” Pepper asked.
The kid’s fingers finally stopped tapping against the keys. “I… don’t really care.”
The woman hummed, glancing at Tony from the corner of her eyes. “We can order in again. I know this small place that makes great breakfast muffins and bagels.”
Peter nodded, humming. “Okay.”
“What about you, dear?”
And the game was back on. “Sounds good to me,” he said, smiling innocently.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee hit him a moment before the greatest invention in mankind history beeped, signaling his life-saving beverage was ready. It would be easier to think of good strategies once he was up and running properly.
Letting the cup’s heat seep into his hands, Tony listened for any sound indicating danger. Peter closed his laptop, followed by scraping of the chair. No danger there. Pepper still hasn’t moved, but he could her quietly tapping on her phone screen. No danger there either. Yet. She could’ve used Friday to order…
The food better not be poisoned.
No, she wouldn’t dare, he thought, raising the cup to his lips, the risk of Peter taking something he shouldn’t have was too high and besides—
“Whoa-ah!”
A sudden weight knocked the cup out of his hand. Reflexes kicking in, Tony wrapped his arms around the smaller body, catching Peter moments before he could get a face-full of hot shrapnel. He shifted his stance, put his back into pulling him up, only letting go when the kid’s feet were firmly planted on the floor.
Pepper shot to her feet at the sound. “Are you okay?”
Peter nodded. “Yeah. Just tripped for some reason.”
“Jeez, kid,” Tony looked him up and down to check for any injuries. His gaze stopped at Peter’s feet. “I’m honestly tempted to forego today’s lab time in favor of practicing tying your shoes.”
The kid’s head tilted to the side before looking down, his mouth opening in surprise at the sight of his loose shoelaces. “Oh.” He then registered the mess on the floor. “Oh no, I’m so sorry!”
Tony raised his hands up in a calming manner. “Pete, it’s fine, it’s just a coffee—“
“I’ll go get a dustpan or… or something.”
“At least tie your shoes first!” Tony called out after the kid, his effort in vain. Peter ran away, coffee-stained shoelaces flapping behind him. Shaking his head and sighing, Tony grabbed a roll of paper towels and went to contain at least some of the damage.
I swear he’s gonna be the death of me, he thought. Well, maybe not. Pepper was still in the equation, and if Tony won’t hurry, she’ll get him before the stress the kid was inducing could get the chance to do him in.
The kid stomped back into the room, a broom in hand. He stopped and took in the sight. “Mop,” was all he said before leaning the broom on the counter and disappearing again.
Still with his shoes untied…
It was too early to deal with this. “Friday, can you make me ano—“
The rest of the sentence died on his tongue.
Tony kneeled down, just out of the reach of the spill, poking the paper towel with his finger. It was soggy, but not in a way a normal soggy towel was supposed to look like. It looked almost... liquefied. He rubbed his fingers together, frowning at the tingling feeling.
Coffee wasn’t supposed to do that.
“Never mind.”
Sweeping the whole soggy mess onto a dustpan, Tony held Pepper’s gaze all the way to the trashcan.
She had the gall to look like she had no idea about it.
So the consensus appeared to be that as long as the kid doesn’t see any blood, everything is fair.
Tony didn’t hesitate. The moment Pepper went out to change and Peter – thankfully with his shoes tied now – was distracted with getting out the plates, he took the short window of opportunity and slipped the capsule into Pepper’s cappuccino. Then he sat down, taking the plates from Peter’s hands just as Pepper arrived.
When the kid’s back turned, the man raised his palms to show no intention to tamper with the food. Pepper seemed to accept it and sat opposite of her fiancé, wrapping her fingers around the paper cup. Tony’s heart started to race. His heart never raced when he was about to make a kill.
“All right, let’s ea— oof.” The kid’s skipping was suddenly cut off as his foot caught on the back leg of Pepper’s chair.
This time, Tony wasn’t there to catch him. And he honestly had no idea what was worse – the fact the kid rocked the chair enough to make Pepper spill most of her drink, or the fact he so-so avoided the caffeine splash.
Pepper discarded the cup and shot up to her feet at the same time as Tony did. It wasn’t hard to figure out what made the kid fall.
Peter’s shoes were untied. Again.
“That’s it,” Tony said, helping him up to his feet, “you just lost your shoelace privilege. I’m getting you Velcro shoes. Right now.”
“What? Mr. Stark, no—“
“Friday, order him a pair. Express delivery.”
The kid’s shoulders slumped like a toddler who got denied another cookie. “Taking my shoelaces,” he muttered, “if Tumblr heard about this…”
Pepper helped him into his chair. “I have to agree with Tony here, honey. Velcro shoes are the safest choice.”
He sighed, but accepted the help. “Thanks.” He plopped himself into the chair, leaning slightly to the side. Peter cradling his sore elbow gave him a clear view of the spill.
Tony grit his jaw. Those thin foggy trails rising from the spill weren’t hard to notice.
“Oh wow. That looks hot,” he said.
“Yes,” she said slowly, looking Tony straight in the eye, “it does.”
As it turned out, Mr. Stark was serious, because about two hours later, Peter sat on the couch, arms crossed over his chest and with Velcro shoes on his feet. He totally overdid it with the tripping, but who would’ve thought there would be two attempts in such a short span of time? He had absolutely no time to prepare any counter-measurements!
Thankfully, his acting wasn’t the worst, since both Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts didn’t seem to suspect he did it on purpose.
Still, it changed nothing of the fact his best excuse to body-slam people out of harm’s way was off the table. Unless he didn’t want to get wrapped up in a bubble wrap or land himself in med-bay to get his balance checked, he had to think of something else.
It was time to get creative.
Peter took every opportunity he got to walk around the penthouse like an assassination detector. His spidey sense was coming in extra handy, screeching every time he ran into a trap. So far he’s gotten rid of the rigged heating blanket in Ms. Potts’ home office, short-circuited Mr. Stark’s wireless charger, duct-taped the wires in the dryer back together, and fixed the gas leak in the boiler room. Peter was still a bit woozy from that one.
All that before lunch.
So much for a relaxing weekend, he thought.
“Uh, kid? Why are you elbows-deep in my dishwasher?”
Peter peeked over the top of the counter, flashing an easygoing smile at his mentor. “I noticed the panel in the back was askew. And the start button was looking loose too, so I fixed it.”
No dishwasher was going to blow up today.
“Oh,” was all Mr. Stark said. “Okay.”
He’s fine, Tony told himself, kid’s fine, he’s smart. He knows how to not blow himself up.
Still, the man wasn’t very happy about his kid basically defusing a bomb.
“Peter, honey?” Ms. Potts leaned forward, looking concerned. “Why are you stuffing all dish towels into a bucket?”
Holding the bucket’s handle in gloved hands, he looked at her in all seriousness and said, “there’s a spider.”
“A… spider?” she asked, puzzled.
Peter nodded. “I’m not taking any chances. I’m getting rid of it.” Could venomous spiders survive in poison-soaked towels?
Ms. Potts chuckled. “Alright, you little arachnophobe, you can hand over the bucket and I’ll—“
“No!” Peter shouted, startling the woman. Shit, he had to think of something, and fast. “No. It’s… it’s huge,” he bobbed his head, eyes blown wide. “Like, huge. Yeah.”
“O…kay?”
“Huge,” Peter repeated and as he walked out of the room and headed into the lab washrooms.
When he was out of sight, Pepper let out a deep, relieved breath, thankful the boy’s fear of spiders made him put on rubber gloves.
It was time for a different approach.
The door to the workshop swished open. Tony didn’t need to turn around to know the kid was back from his pre-dinner snack hunt. “Did you find something you like?” he asked.
“Meh,” the kid replied, mouth full. “Remind me to stick with sweets made on this continent next time.”
Tony frowned, his heart skipping a beat. The pantry upstairs was mostly filled with what the kid already liked, since Tony didn’t have a big sweet tooth. Sure, Pepper kept her snacks there too, but her stash mostly consisted of sweets she brought back from abroad.
The unmistakable sound of a tinfoil rustling followed. Tony whirled around in the kid’s direction, feeling like someone dunked a bucket of icy water on him.
Mozart balls.
“I… thought you didn’t like marzipan?” he asked, doing his best to conceal the horror in his voice. “That chocolate has marzipan in it.”
Peter hummed. “Thought I might give it a try again, see if I judged it too harshly. Hmm. Nope, still as awful as ever,” he said, but put another ball into his mouth.
The man felt his soul leave his body.
Tony spent the next ten minutes internally panicking and planning the fastest route to the med-bay once the kid collapsed. But it didn’t come to that. Peter was fine and showing no sign of fatigue or difficulty breathing. He kept happily kicking his feet as he tinkered with a discarded motherboard.
Did Tony misremember which of Pepper’s sweet he poisoned?
Well, it didn’t matter now. He better get rid of the whole thing. Just in case.
About twenty minutes later, Peter found himself on the toilet with the worst case of stomach ache he’s ever experienced.
Thanks to his freaky metabolism, he was able to leave the throne room thirty minutes later, good as new. It was so easy to blame the time spent there on getting lost in algorithmic hell.
God bless the technology.
Pepper didn’t like to use poison darts. Don’t take her wrong, her aim was great, but she felt more comfortable using throwing knives. The darts’ shape simply felt… odd. But she couldn’t afford to get messy with Peter around. Things were already hard for him as they were with his uncle’s death, and they would get even worse once Tony was officially out of the picture.
She’ll do her best to support him, though. His position as an intern would remain – he’d just work with someone in the upper lab, not with the main guy himself. Maybe Karin would take him? Or Taylor. They were both brilliant scientists and parents…
Focus, she reprimanded herself.
The opportunity was too good to pass. Peter was in the shower, so she couldn’t afford to blow this. No accidental interventions this time.
Her hiding spot was perfect; from a storage room repurposed to store random trinkets they were either gifted at international meetings or they brought each other as a cheesy gift, she had a clear view of the two connecting hallways. Tony was bound to walk through here soon.
And then, sooner rather than later, there he was. Pepper raised the dart, ready to throw it.
Just a little bit closer…
Tony stopped. For a moment, a fear he saw through her ploy seized at Pepper’s heart. However, she was proven otherwise.
In two slow steps, Tony crossed the distance to a shelf on the wall and took a blue photo frame. Pepper knew that one. It was from their first holiday. No work, barely any technology. Just the two of them in a tropical paradise on a remote private island.
He smiled as he ran his fingers along the glass, but his eyes were sad. The hand holding the dart lowered as Pepper’s own memories of that time flashed before her eyes.
The hike where Tony’s lungs almost gave up on him.
The allergy reaction some fish triggered in her.
The cuddles near the fire.
All the good times.
By the time she regained her bearings, the frame was back on the shelf and Tony was already out of sight.
Strangely enough, Pepper wasn’t mad about the missed opportunity.
Then the lights went out.
The shower was the best place to think and gather one’s thoughts.
Peter was close now. Whoever was behind all of this had to not be only smart enough to bypass Friday and have the access to the building, they had to have access to where Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts regularly hung out at.
Peter brought up Friday’s app Mr. Stark installed on his phone for easier communication. He was dead tired, but like hell he would stop now.
Friday, can you show me the employee database? He typed in the request before pushing the plugged hairdryer into the tub.
Tony’s shifted his stance into a defensive one, ready to counter Pepper once she came barreling out of the darkness. Though the seconds ticked away, no sharp pain or blow came.
…three, four, five…
He strained his ears, trying to determine her position. Surely she was close.
…six, seven, eight…
“Come on, Friday. Come on,” he murmured under his breath.
…nine, ten!
The lights flickered back on as the AI switched to a backup source. Tony blinked rapidly to adjust his eyes as he spun around on his heels. The living room was empty.
Padded footsteps approached from behind. Pepper rounded the corner, her posture shifting immediately after spotting him. However, his presence didn’t stop her from advancing, albeit slower.
“What did you do?” Tony asked.
“No, no, no, don’t try to put this on me, this wasn’t my doing. What did you do?” Pepper shot back.
The door at the end of the hallway opened. Out walked Peter, an uncomfortable smile on his face. A towel was thrown over his shoulders, catching stray drops falling from his hair; the same didn’t apply to the hairdryer in his hand, dripping water on the ground. “Sorry…”
Tony’s next attempt is so pathetic it wasn’t even worth mentioning.
“Look, this isn’t working. Let’s just,” he kicked away the chunks of what used to be their trusty Roomba, “let’s just wait until the kid leaves tomorrow, okay?”
Pepper hid her smile behind her hand. “Okay.”
Before Tony could say anything else, Peter popped in with a broom and a dustpan. “These robots, man. Already trying to take over the world.”
Even though they hand another sleepover in the living room, the atmosphere was way more relaxed. This time, the kid fell asleep on Pepper, who wasn’t that far behind.
Smiling softly, Tony pulled out a blanket and spread it over the two of them. The kid sighed and nestled closer to her to bask in the warmth. Pepper cracked open her blue eyes and offered Tony a tired smile. “Thanks, love,” was all she said before she let her cheek fall on the kid’s curls.
Tony watched the two of them, heart twisting in his chest.
It won’t get any easier, will it?
He planted a kiss on each head before crashing on the other couch.
The next morning came and went without a single incident, same as the lunch, and in Tony’s opinion, the time for Peter to leave came too soon.
“Happy will drive you home,” Tony said, his arm wrapped around Pepper’s waist.
“We’ll see you next Wednesday,” Pepper called out after him.
The kid let out a little hum. “Thanks. Bye, Mr. Stark! Bye, Ms. Potts!” the elevator door closed behind him, and just like that, he was gone.
“We’ll see him next Wednesday, huh?” Tony repeated, lost in thoughts. Yeah, that would be nice.
Then, he felt Pepper’s body tense against his, which in turn made Tony hold his breath. Damn it, the way he said it must’ve set off the mood—
Tony jumped out of the way to avoid the worst of his fiancée’s elbow blow to his ribs. Now there was nothing but them and their hands. Huffing, Tony leaped at her, sending a punch straight into her shoulder. Pepper stumbled back. Tony, not wanting to give her a chance to retaliate, went after her again. Tony faked a left hook, banking on Pepper to backflip out of the way.
And she did.
There was no hesitation. A second before her feet touched the ground again, Tony barreled into her full-force, pinning her to the ground.
She might’ve been more agile, but he had good thirty-five pounds on her.
“Okay, fine,” he panted, “how about we take a deep breath and—“
Tony didn’t get to finish. He saw too late what his fiancée’s plan was.
Pepper wrapped her legs around his torso and lunged, flipping them over. Her hair fell around her face as she pulled out a long, silver and very sharp pin that was holding her bun together.
Tony had no idea how he overlooked the thing, but now, sprawled on his back, he wasn’t able to pay his attention to anything else but the reluctance in the woman’s eyes.
Pepper leaned forward, their noses almost touching. “I won,” she whispered weakly.
“Yeah. You did,” he whispered back.
“Oh, gross!”
They froze. Mirroring the scene from Friday evening, Peter stood in the doorway, his face twisted like he just licked a lemon. His duffel bag hit the ground with a loud thud.
And Tony realized how it must’ve looked like to the teen – his mentor and his fiancée both red-cheeked from the strain, disheveled, rolling around on the ground with one sitting on the other one…
“Couldn’t you at least wait until I was out of the building?!” the kid cried out.
“It’s not what it looks like!” Tony and Pepper replied in union.
Peter shuddered. “I’ll never be able to purge this from my memory,” he covered his face and groaned. “Ugh. I’m traumatized for life.”
Pepper dropped the pin and scrambled to her feet, Tony following suit. “Sweetie, it’s really not what it looks like.”
“Yeah!” Tony agreed. “We were just…” trying to kill each other didn’t make it sound any better, “wrestling,” he finished awkwardly.
Without breaking eye contact, Peter grabbed the strap of the bag and began to walk backwards. “I’m fifteen, not five.” He shook his head. “No, you’re two adults,” he forced out like the words were physically painful, “you can do whatever you want, so I’ll just… yeah.” Without further ado, he grabbed the charger on the table and power-walked back into the elevator. “By the way, I don’t like the new janitor. He gives off weird vibes, you know?” he called over his shoulder before the door closed behind him.
Tony turned to Pepper. “We have a new janitor?”
Pepper looked as equally confused. “I’m not aware of hiring anyone new for cleaning jobs.”
“Friday?”
“Checking the employee database,” the AI replied. “Check complete. There are fifteen people listed as cleaning staff, but I can find a contract only for fourteen of them. Clearance Scott has been listed as an employee since three weeks ago, but there’s no trace of a proper hiring process.”
The two exchanged knowing looks. If someone managed to get past Friday’s security, it warranted an investigation.
“Temporary truce?” Tony offered his hand.
Pepper nodded, accepting the offer. “Temporary truce.”
“Friday, is this Clearance Scott at the SI premises?”
“Yes, boss.”
“Where can we find him?”
“Looksee, looksee, what do we have here?” Tony mused as he turned around the old flip phone in his hand. He locked eyes with Clearance Scott – or so one of his many IDs said – who was tied to a chair. A bruise was already forming around his eye; a courtesy of Pepper when the man attempted to flee when the two of them appeared.
Pepper craned her neck. “It looks like your standard, non-traceable phone.”
“And I bet that if I take a peek, I’ll find something real interesting, won’t I, Mr. Scott?”
The man lost several shades of color when Tony flipped the phone open.
Making his way to the contacts right away, Tony forgot how much of a bother the keys were. Honestly, it was ridiculous. Touchscreens were the way.
Ah, bingo!
Tony grinned as he found what he was looking for but immediately frowned.
This… can't be right.
Whipping out his own phone, he held the two next to each other.
Any other day, Tony would’ve deleted the message giving him an assignment. Good thing he didn’t do it now.
“What’s the matter?” Pepper asked.
“I know you probably have an order to delete the message right after you receive an assignment too, but would you happen to keep the one ordering a hit on me?”
Pepper frowned, but fished out her phone from her pocket. “You better not tell on me.”
“If you promise not to tell on me either,” Tony said. “Look.”
He clicked between the two messages on the flip phone, each matching the one on Tony and Pepper’s phones.
“Let me double-check with my people if there’s really a hit on you."
Tony, doing the same, paused and raises an eyebrow at her with a smirk. “Will your people answer you that fast?”
Pepper rolled her eyes, but matched his grin. “They will probably answer faster than your people.”
“Wanna bet?”
In the end, they received the answer almost at the same time. Frowning, Tony looked up to find Pepper mirroring his own expression. “I’ve got no orders,” he said.
“Me neither. But you might be interested in this.” Pepper held out her screen for him to see.
Tony’s eyes flickered from the screen to the man tied up in the chair and back. “Huh. You slimy bastard. I guess you always come on top if you play it on both sides.”
Except this wasn’t the case. The asshole in question weaseled his way up the ranks in both of their companies, selling secrets to their rival if it meant he could get more power. Well, his luck seemed to run out when one of Pepper’s coworkers exposed him, forcing him into hiding. Tony was pretty sure it was only a matter of time before his own people would catch him tripping.
Unfortunately for them, being that high up, he knew about both Pepper and Tony, so why not cause some harm and take out someone’s major player? That would warrant a retribution.
A full-blown assassin war was a recipe for disaster.
“Please,” the man pleaded, watery smile on his face, “can you let me go? Let’s forget this ever happened, yeah?”
“Your negotiating skills are worse than mine,” Tony deadpanned. “But you must understand we cannot just let you go, right? I could overlook the attempt on my life. Several people have tried, none succeeded, so you’re not that special. But you almost made me kill the woman of my life and because of you, our intern was caught in the crossfire. I can’t let that go.”
The reminder fired up a new wave of anger in his fiancée. Whether it was directed at herself or the man, Tony didn’t know. “I was terrified out of my mind when I saw him handle those dishtowels.”
“And I almost had a heart attack when I saw him eating your chocolates.”
“He ate poisoned chocolates?!”
Tony jumped back, holding out his hands in a placating manner. “That’s what I thought too, but I must’ve made a mistake! He’s fine.”
Pepper let out a loud wheeze before turning her attention to Clearance again. “See what you did?” she hissed, and Tony could almost feel for the poor guy.
Almost.
“Oh, you’re so lucky Peter left unharmed, otherwise I’d drag this for as long as I could.”
“Yeah, the kid was like our little lucky charm today. Maybe it’s his secret superpower – preventing assassinations. Or maybe…” Tony let his tone fall, “maybe he’s secretly a superhero. Maybe he’s Spider-Man.”
“Spider-Man?” Pepper’s tone was calmer. Tony counted that a win. “Like that new vigilante?”
“I mean,” he shrugged, “they’re both from Queens, on the young side, and seem to have a sense alerting them to danger.”
“Oh my god, that would make some much sense,” she breathed out. Then she burst out laughing. “Our Peter, who is afraid of spiders, a Spider-Man.”
Tony couldn’t help but laugh too. They both needed to wind down after such a high-stake weekend. “Hey, maybe Spider-Man has to wear Velcro shoes to do those feats, who knows?”
Pepper smirked. “That was a good one, but let’s get this over with so we can go order a whole new kitchen, since it’s, you know...”
“Wait!” the man cried out. “There- there are more! More will come after you. If you let me live, I’ll tell you everything I know.”
Tony crossed his arms over his chest. It sounded like a dying man’s last desperate attempt to avoid the unavoidable, but he and Pepper – and Peter – could only benefit from upgraded security.
“Fine. Let them come,” Pepper stated firmly, squashing any and all hope. She put her hands on the armrests, coming face to face with the man. “I’ll deal with them the same way I’m about to deal with you. Nobody messes with my family. By coming here, you declared war on my family,” she said, shooting Tony a small smirk, “and all is fair in love and war.”
God, how much Tony loved that woman.