Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

As you many have noticed, I have discontinued this fanfiction. Due to multiple reasons, I don’t write as much as I used to, and I am also less interested in this concept. I wanted to still provide the people who enjoyed this fanfiction with the progress/scenes I had completed for it. Necessary context is missing from some of these scenes but will be provided, and sometimes certain paragraphs are skipped and replaced with my notes instead. My apologies for anyone I let down, and I hope to write something again you’ll enjoy soon.

The scenes are (roughly) in chronological order and have not been beta’d.

———————————————

Progress On Chapter Three

———————————————

“So? Does it work?”

Stan looked up from his phone to find Kyle standing in front of him, hands on his hips, looking at him expectantly. The other teenager looked exhausted, his hair a frizzy mess and his normally composed demeanor entirely off. 

Kyle had been living there with them for the past week or so, ever since his parents discovered his pregnancy, and they were only just starting to get used to being in each other's space all the time as opposed to most of it.

“Does what work?” Stan asked, leaning back on his elbows. He saw Kyle’s eye twitch, and knew from years of experience that that was a bad sign.

Kyle huffed, turning to the side, gesturing to his chest. “Can you tell?”

Stan frowned. “Tell what? What are you asking me?”

Kyle’s eyes bulged at him, and he threw his hands up in exasperation.

“That I have tits , Stanley! Jesus fucking christ!” He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“....Oh.”

“I can’t bind.” He said, grimacing at the reminder. “So I’m wearing a sports bra with a tank top tucked over it. Does it work?”

“Uh, yeah? It looks fine. You could just wear a loose shirt.”

“I’m just so anxious. About how this woman will— receive me. And what I am…”

“Dude, I’m sure she’s had trans patients. You won’t get—turned away, or anything.”

“I mean, I just don’t...do you know anything about this woman?”

“I mean...no? Mom and I don’t really chat about her doctor’s appointments.”

“Of course you don’t,” Kyle said, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. “Why would you? Why would we, as teenagers, care about the reproductive health of our parents? Fuck this.” 

Stan frowned. He understood how Kyle felt, to some extent; if he had found out he was pregnant at sixteen, he’d be more than a little stressed. (For a lot more reasons.) But that didn’t get rid of his instinct to help Kyle, or comfort him; the issue was, he didn’t know how. He felt completely unequipped to deal with this situation.

“Ky, dude, it’ll be okay. She’s a doctor. A—a fucking...professional. You don’t need to be so worried about this, seriously.” 

Kyle scoffed, glancing back at him. “It’s my baby, Stan, why wouldn’t I be worried?”

Kyle hadn’t called it his baby yet. It seemed to catch him as off guard as it did Stan. He faltered after he said it, turning away to check his appearance in the mirror. Stan wasn’t sure if he was just imagining it, but he felt like Kyle looked different. People said pregnant people had a glow. Stan wasn’t sure if he’d go that far, but there was a redness to his cheeks that wasn’t there before. And maybe a little bloating. 

“Where’s your little boyfriend?” Kyle asked, pulling him out of his reprieve. He was standing in Stan’s bathroom, the door open, trying to pat his hair down with water. 

Stan snorted. “My little boyfriend? He’s your friend, too, you know.”

Kyle shrugged. “We aren’t exactly close. I was just asking, anyway.”

“I’m not sure. He just kind of...wanders off. In the house.”

“He wanders off? Your house isn’t that big.”

Stan sighed. He didn’t really know how to explain Butters’ behavior. He knew things would change when they moved in together—he wasn’t stupid. But he didn’t realize they would change as much as they had. Only a few days after Butters was rescued from the Stotch household, bruised and bleeding, he was healing alright and the adrenaline had settled. Their relationship had been painted by the stress of Butters’ home life until that point, and Stan realized something was missing once his boyfriend was safe.  

Obviously, he felt like a horrible person for thinking that. Of course he wanted Butters to be safe. He wanted him to be safe, and happy, and healthy. But it was startling to realize he genuinely had not known a point in their relationship where there was not the looming threat of Butters’ parents, specifically his father, who had been set on keeping them apart the moment he realized they were involved.

———————————————

Heat Haze

———————————————

When Kyle opened his eyes, he was on the ground.

No, wait. That didn’t seem right at all.

Above him, he met Heidi’s eyes - the soft hazel darkened with concern. 

“Is something wrong?” Kyle asked, forcing himself to speak, still sounding a little dazed.

“Uh...yes. You fainted.”

“Oh. That’s all?” He sat up.

Oh, fuck, why did he say that? Kyle cringed inwardly, preparing himself for the onslaught of ‘ you need to take better care of yourself!’

But Heidi said nothing.

Heidi said nothing at all, her eyes darting around nervously, whispering out a “ Kyle .”

“What?” He asked, furrowing his brow.

And in the same breath, he shivered - when did it get so cold? 

Oh.

He wasn’t wearing his sweater.

He wasn’t wearing his sweater.

He flinched, feeling behind him before Heidi pulled it away, holding it in her lap - his sweater, red knitting and horribly bulky, and at least two sizes too big for him.

Perfect to hide a baby bump.

Especially when he’d made the ridiculous decision to wear a tank top underneath.

You know, plenty of people barely show at 18 weeks.

Kyle was not one of these people.

“I’m - I’m sorry, you were just - I felt your forehead when you fell, and you were burning up, and I thought…”

It occurred to him now how quiet the room was, just now tuning into the murmurs of his classmates, their chemistry experiments abandoned in favor of his humiliation, only to be topped off by -

“Oh. My. God.”

Fuckin’ Cartman.

“You’re fucking - oh my God - !” The horrible voice behind him cackled, and Kyle hunched slightly, refusing to turn and face him.

“Eric! Language! This isn’t funny, young man.” Their chemistry teacher, Mrs. Malavet, quickly made her way over to Kyle, crouching next to where he had frozen on the floor, staring at the linoleum. “Kyle? Hey, it’s alright.You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“It’s more than alright. Tell me, Kahl, when are you duuuuue? ”

“Save it, Cartman.” He heard Wendy snap, still not looking up from the floor, his shoulders shaking. 

Everyone saw.

“ Save it?! Well, she clearly didn’t save something - ”

“Oh, don’t even, you piece of shit!”

“You too, Wendy. Don’t let him escalate the situation and get you both in trouble,” Mrs. Mavalet chided, setting a gentle hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “Kyle, can you hear me? Do you need to go to guidance?”

Kyle opened his mouth to respond, and was horrified when a sob came out. Mrs. Mavalet clucked her tongue, squeezing his shoulder. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Heidi whispered. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Kyle.”

He tried to respond, but the tears came faster, 

and he furiously rubbed his face with his arm. 

“Oh, you know how those hormones can be,” Cartman snickered behind him, and it only made him feel weaker. He wanted to beat him to a pulp, but he felt like he was made of jelly.

“ Eric, be quiet. Let’s get you to guidance, alright, sweetie?” Mrs. Mavalet helped him to his feet, the angle just providing a better view of him. 

“God. I can’t believe you let Kinny put a baby in you-”

“Eric, that’s enough . When I return to class, why don’t we have a discussion about respect? ” 

Groans arose from the class, as they all knew a Cartman-induced tolerance meeting all too well. The rest of the class period was going to be devoted to anti-bullying presentations with a mandatory discussion instead of the genuinely fun chemistry experiment prepared for them.

It was like Mrs. Mavalet was trying to get Cartman’s ass beat.

(Which, now that Kyle thought of it, was entirely possible.)

The South Park High guidance counselor - Mr. Knowell, who insisted students call him Mr. Aiden - was well-meaning but annoying as all hell. 

“So,” Mr. Aiden said. “Mrs. Mavalet tells me you’re expecting.”

Oh, really? Kyle almost snapped, raising his gaze to meet Aiden’s, trying to look as severe as he could. His hand rested on his stomach, feeling somewhat relieved he didn’t have to resist that urge anymore. “Yes.” He patted his bump pointedly. 

“Well, I want you to know my office is a safe space, Kyle. You’re welcome to come talk to me any time.”

“ Awesome . Can I go?”

Mr. Aiden looked obviously nervous. “Ahh, no. I’d advise against it. I’d really like to have a talk with you.”

Kyle’s eyes narrowed. “I thought this was a safe space.”

“It is! I just want you to know you have options, and agency, in this situation.”

“I know.”

“Do your parents know?”

“Yes. They threw me out when I wouldn’t abort.” Kyle said, blankly, watching as Aiden’s eyes widened then returned to their normal size.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, Kyle. Have you talked to them about this lately? Maybe they just need time to adjust.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Do you have a place to live? Perhaps with the...father?”

“I’m fine. I’m staying with a friend. Just a friend.”

“Ah! So the father is a friend?”

“ No. The other father is my boyfriend , obviously.”

“Kenny McCormick?”

Kyle flinched, looking up. He hadn’t realized Aiden was aware of who his boyfriend was; that’s why he’d been so vague. He leaned back in his chair, closing his mouth.

“As long as you’re being taken care of, that’s all that matters. Have you explored all your options, Kyle?”

He nodded.

“It’s important to take into account yourself, your future, and your resources when making a decision. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to abort - adoption is a perfectly safe option, and if that’s what you-”

“I’m not putting it up for adoption.” Kyle said it before he had really thought about it. He - he wasn’t even aware he had made that decision, but subconsciously, he had.

“You’re...not?” Aiden looked genuinely surprised. Kyle scowled.

“No. Is that a problem? Why did you immediately assume I was?”

“Of course not! Of course not. It’s your decision and I support it. I just...you’re an amazing student-”

“And have my grades suffered?”

Aiden faltered before admitting “No.”

“There’s no reason why I can’t work just as hard just because I’m having or raising a baby. Kenny’s already committed himself, too. Besides, it’s none of your business. And assuming I don’t want to keep my baby just because I’m smart isn’t very tolerant of you.”

“I’m sorry - I have no problem with your choice and I think you’ll be a wonderful father - I was just basing off past experiences with girls like you.” Aiden stammered through his words. 

“Like me? Like, pregnant?”

“Well...yes?”

“Well, you shouldn’t. Mostly because I’m not a girl. Now, can I go back to class?”

Aiden sighed, passing Kyle a note. “My door is always open, Mr. Broflovski.” 

“Noted,” Kyle said, slamming the door behind him.

The day passed slowly after that.

Between classes, Kyle told Kenny, Stan, and Butters what happened, and Cartman told everyone who would listen. It didn’t matter, anyway - Kyle’s form fitting tank top said everything. 

Stan let Kyle borrow his letterman to stay warm but not too warm. Kyle didn’t bother zipping it.

There was no point.

Few said anything at all, besides a couple nervous “Oh, congratulations!”s. 

Annie Nelson told him he was glowing. He walked away from her as fast as he possibly could.

After school, he told Stan he’d be home later, retreating with Kenny to his car. Kenny had bought it himself so Karen had a better ride to school, and kept it in good shape - he said it was his second true love.

Kyle leaned his seat back, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. He heard Kenny’s seat lean back too, and when he turned his head, the blonde smiled at him.

“Heya, firefly.”

Before, odds are they would be making out by now, much to the disgust of other passing students. They had so few opportunities alone, what with their parents despising the other, and it resulted in Kyle being the opposite of what he expected to be - half of South Park high’s second worst offenders of PDA, topped only by Craig and Tweek.

Kyle didn’t feel embarrassed, though. Kenny just had a face he had to kiss.

But now, he reached down and held Kenny’s hand at an awkward angle. 

“We need to talk,” He said, careful to keep his tone even.

Kenny raised his eyebrow, squeezing Kyle’s hand. “Abouuuuut?”

Kyle paused, biting his lip. Kenny had said he wanted whatever Kyle wanted, but it was still a terrifying prospect - he always could have been lying. But, his choice had been made - even Kenny breaking up with him wouldn’t change that.

“I’m keeping the baby.”

Kenny’s mouth opened in surprise, a little O shape. For a moment, Kyle feared he was right - Kenny was lying, and would leave him. However, he quickly grinned, leaning forward and kissing him.

“Really? You’re sure?” He sounded giddy, like he was five and Kyle had told him they were going to Disney World.

“Yeah...I don’t. It’s our baby, I…” Kyle gulped. “I want to raise it.”

Kenny smiled impossibly wide, pecking Kyle’s lips once more. “I promise you I will be the absolute best dad I can be, Ky. I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t,” Kyle said, smiling. He pressed his forehead to Kenny’s.

Kenny paused. “Does...this mean…?”

“Mean what?”

Kenny shook his head. “Nevermind. We’ll worry about it later.”

“No, tell me.”

“I...I just thought, if we’re gonna be raising a kid, we...nevermind.”

Kyle realized what he meant, and his heart must have skipped a beat. Oh, fuck. He was right.

The idea made his head swim. Kenny, his husband. Him, Kenny’s husband. Kenny loved him that much. They’d be together, recognized as a couple - they’d get a house, with a backyard and a suburban lawn, have their baby, maybe get a dog, either would pick their child up from school and they’d come home and eat dinner together, talking about their days, kissing each other goodnight at the end of the day only to wake up to each other's faces the next morning. Toothbrushes neatly in a stand, tiny shoes next to big ones by the door, gold bands glinting on their fingers…

Forever, with his Kenny.

Now, Kenny was looking away, looking practically ashamed. Kyle laid a hand on his cheek, lightly patting it. Kenny met his eyes, the beautiful chocolate brown clouded. Kyle leaned forward until their noses brushed.

“Hey.”

“What?” Kenny asked, uncharacteristically quiet, averting his gaze again. Kyle patted him again so he’d look.

Kyle smiled, leaning forward further, kissing him, feeling Kenny relax with the gesture, slow and sweet. He pulled away carefully and waited for Kenny to open his eyes, leaning up to put his mouth right by his ear, feeling his boyfriend shiver at his breath. 

Kenny said nothing, but pressed a hand to Kyle’s back, pulling him closer, all awkward angles, tangled in each other, but fitting perfectly.

Kyle smiled against his ear, voice barely a whisper when he spoke, but sounding more certain than he’d ever been.

“Marry me, Kenny.”

———————————————

Parenthood

———————————————

“We’re keeping it. The baby.” 

“Oh.”

Stan gives this information a moment to settle in his brain, but it simply can’t. He rolls onto his side, but Kyle stays on his back, staring at his bedroom ceiling. 

“Wait, really?”

“Mhm,” Kyle nods, gulping. He looks almost afraid, though Stan isn’t sure of what. “I can’t...I can’t put it up for adoption, Stan. It’s mine.”

“No, I get that, you don’t have to explain yourself.” He rolls back over, resuming counting the glow in the dark stars above them.

He isn’t sure what to say. Congratulations? Good luck? I love you guys? Everything he can think of seems cheesy or awkward.

“I asked Ken to marry me.”

Stan snaps out of his dilemma at that, immediately turning his attention back to his best friend. He can’t read his expression.

“Holy shit, really ?”

“Yes, really, ” Kyle mocks, smiling just slightly. “When I told him I wanted to keep the baby, he said he wanted to ‘do it right’ , and then I...I just asked, like it was nothing at all.”

“Like, on one knee and everything?”

Kyle fully grins then, cheeks flushing. “No. No ring, obviously, but…”

“...What did he say?”

He finally looks at Stan, frowning. “He said yes, dumbass. I’m having his fucking baby.”

“Oh. Well. Yeah.”

They stare at each other, tense, until it all breaks away in an instant when they both crack up. 

“That’s so weird to think about,” Kyle mutters, as the laughter subsides. “I’m having his baby.”

“I can hardly believe it, dude,” Stan glances to where Kyle’s hand rests atop his stomach. He seems fucking huge, especially in comparison to how small he was before. “Like...I know it doesn’t affect me. It’s you and Kenny’s...I don’t wanna say problem. Responsibility? Or. It will be. But it’s fucking...I grew up with you, dude.”

“I get it. I mean...you’ve been so helpful, Stan, I really can’t thank you enough.”

“Of course! Don’t thank me. Dude. You’re my best friend. I’m gonna help you.”

“I know, I just…” He sighs. “What I’m asking is. Uh. We’re, uh.”

“Yeah?”

“We’re probably not having a real wedding anytime soon. We were gonna do it down at the courthouse when we turn eighteen, unless our moms sign.” 

“I’m pretty sure you can just do it, if you guys are keeping the kid.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I uh. Read something, somewhere, about minors being allowed to marry each other if there were...circumstances.”

“Circumstances.” Kyle snorts. “That’s one word for it.”

“I’m so surprised you’re keeping it. Like, that’s cool! I think…”

“What?” Kyle looks over at him, frowning again.

“I mean, I think...I don’t know. I think you’d both be good parents. And I guess, uh. Soon you will be?”

“Oh.” He nods, gently rubbing his stomach. “...You know, I think that too? That Ken will be a good dad. He wanted to keep it from day one, after all.”

“Yeah. Wait. You’re not just keeping it because Kenny wants to, right?”

“Of course not!” He snaps, shooting him a glare. “I’m not an idiot. I...God. Fuck.”

“What? Oh, shit, are you crying—?”

“Yes!” Kyle groans, wiping at his eyes. “Shit. I’m not—I’m not sad, I don’t know. I’m just...overwhelmed.”

“Are you rethinking it?”

“ No! No, no, I…” He nearly sobs, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “God. I want my baby, Stan.”

“Oh.” He falters, moving closer to him, not touching him yet. “Well, yeah. Of course you do, right? It’s...instinctual?”

Kyle whines. “No, I know, it’s just...I’m still sixteen, Stan. Ken will make such a good dad, I know it—He’s got two fucking jobs, and he already takes care of Karen, and...I don’t have that. Kenny worked for everything he has, Stan, and I just got it all handed to me.”

“No, Kyle, what?”

“I’m not ready to raise a kid, but I just—I want it so bad, Stan, and that’s so selfish of me, because they’ll deserve better, and—”

“Kyle, stop it.” Stan sat up, grabbing Kyle’s wrists to pull his hands from his face, looking down into his tear-filled eyes. “Dude. Did you forget where I said you’d both make good parents? I meant that.”

“I don’t…”

“Dude. You’re so smart, and you’re like...You’re always looking out for everybody but yourself. You’re like, the fucking...mom friend. You’ll do just fine, Ky.”

Kyle sighed and sniffled pitifully, tilting his head back. “Ugh…”

“Do you wanna call Kenny or something?”

“Noooo,” He shook his head. “No. I don’t want to bother him at work. He...he said he wanted to buy a ring, I need somebody to talk him out of it. We need to save for the baby.”

Stan flopped down onto his back again. “It’s like you guys are already adults.”

“Yeah. Well. We have to be.”

“But I mean...it’s almost. It almost feels right, that it was you guys.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well!” Stan sighed. “It’s like. You guys love each other so much, you know? And you’re both...you’ve always been really smart, and mature…”

“It doesn’t mean we’re ready to be parents.”

“I know that. But I guess...you’re the ones who are the best to learn. I love you guys, you know that?”

Kyle smiled at that. “I love you, too. I...I was going to ask, uh, before…”

“Huh?”

“If you’d...you know. It’ll be a courthouse ceremony, but like…” He sighs, meeting Stan’s eyes. “Would you be my best man?”

Stan beams at him. “Dude, of course! Holy shit.”  

“Awesome.”

“I wanna do anything I can for you, man. And Kenny. God. Are you going to live here?”

Kyle frowns. “Maybe. I don’t want either of us to drop out, and I don’t want to go home with my baby. But I wouldn’t wanna force your mother…”

“Ky. Mom loves you guys. Dunno if you noticed from Leo, but she kinda collects kids. Yours included.”

He laughs, both hands moving to cradle his stomach. “I wonder what they’ll be like.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s. It’s such a cliché thing to say, but…” He sounds almost choked up again. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

“What do you want?”

“Huh?”

Stan falters. “I mean. I know you guys wanted it to be a surprise, but. A boy or a girl. Wait, is that offensive? I don’t mean—”

“You’re fine, shut up,” Kyle rolls his eyes. “I, uh. Well. Kenny wants a girl.”

“Naturally. I knew that.”

“And I…I was so adamant that I wouldn’t care. Assigned sex and all that. But, I, uh. I... feel like it’s a boy. That’s where my brain always goes.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll love them no matter what, though, I don’t care. I...It’ll be ours, you know? Half of my chromosomes, half of Ken’s. Our...little boy, or little girl…”

“Are you gonna cry again? You sound like you’re gonna cry.”

“Maybe I will. Fuck you!” Kyle laughs. 

“...You uh. This is probably. Were you guys gonna pick, like, godparents?”

Kyle looked at him with a raised brow. “...Are you asking to be the godfather?”

“No! Yes. Am I?”

“Stan. That’s a Christian thing.”

“What?! Is not!”

“Yes! It literally is! I mean, there’s, like. Equivalents.” 

“Equivalents?”

“In other religions. The general idea of...taking care of kids in the case of the parents’ death is more of a legal thing, I guess. But I don’t want to think about that, dude.”

“I mean. Then don’t think about that part. It can just be a title! And, hey, Kenny’s still Catholic!”

“Stan. No.”

Stan scowls. “Well, can’t I be whatever the Jewish equivalent of a godfather is?”

“No.”

“Dude! What the fuck?!”

Kyle twists his leg and kicks him in the ankle. “You’re their fucking uncle , dumbass.”

“...Oh.” Stan pauses. “Wait, really?”

“You say that a lot,” Kyle sighs, but looks a little embarrassed. “I mean...yes. I was planning on referring to you as—”

“Uncle Stan?” He finishes, unreasonably pleased by this development.

“Uncle Stan,” Kyle confirms, rolling his eyes. “Fuckin’ can I be the godfather ...you’re such a dick. You’re not just some title, you’re my family, even if you’re an idiot.”

“Dude. I get a nephew.”

“Or niece,” Kyle reminds him. “We don’t know. Glad to see you’re on team boy, though.”

“I mean, it’d be cool! I could play catch with him or something.”

“Or something. How do you know my little girl wouldn’t want to play catch?”

“I’d play with her, too!”

“Yeah, yeah. But, seriously. I love you, man. Thanks, Stan. I really can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re cool with all this.”

“Again, don’t thank me, dude. I love you too. Can I, uh...ask something weird, though?”

“I guess.”

“I, um. Feel free to say no. But can I, uh…” Stan sighs. “Can I feel?”

Kyle blinks at him. “Oh.”

“Again, you can say no!”

“No, it’s just...I didn’t think you’d want to, I guess.”

“I mean, it’s just…” Stan doesn’t bother to hide his staring. “It doesn’t feel real. It’s just...you know when you see a weird texture, and just have to touch it?”

“Weird texture?”

“No, that’s not—what I mean is. It’s kind of cool. And, you know. It’s my niece or nephew.”

“You’re gonna be so annoying about that, aren’t you?” Kyle sighs. “Yeah, dude, go nuts. I’m not sitting up, though.”

Stan does, carefully reaching out and pressing one hand against Kyle’s stomach, the latter moving his own hands to make room. It’s kind of firm, and when Stan gently moves his hand over it, he realizes it’s softer towards the top and harder towards the bottom. 

“Woah…”

“I’m gonna have fucking stretch marks,” He groans, his hands moving up to rub his temples. “And I’ll have to lose the fucking weight after. It’ll take weeks just for my stomach to go back down.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Stan shrugs. “It’s natural. And Kenny already keeps bringing up how cute he thinks it is.”

“Are you agreeing with him?”

“...Just a little. It’s weirdly...endearing? I can’t explain it. I mean, you’re so tiny, so it looks bigger. And, like, you’re not even done yet.”

“They call it carrying large,” Kyle says, yawning. “They can hear us, you know.”

“Huh?” Stan’s fully caressing his stomach now, but Kyle’s made no move to stop him.

“The baby,” He clarifies. “The doctor said their ears have developed by now. They know there’s sounds, outside. They’re listening, how cool is that?”

“Really cool, actually. Dude. Your kid. ”

“And, and—” Kyle continues, looking stupidly happy. “They recognize my touch over a stranger’s.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Once they really start moving, they’ll react to me more.”

“Wow. That’s…”

The door opens then. Stan rips his hand away, and they both look up as Butters pokes his head in.

“Oh. Hey, you two.” He lingers in the doorway, lips twitching upwards. “What’re you doin’ on the floor?”

“Chatting,” Stan shrugs. “What’cha need, babe?”

“Dinner’s almost ready. You two hungry?”

“Always,” Kyle chirps, smiling at him.

“Alright! See you down there, then.” He blows a kiss that Stan mimes catching, then walks away, leaving the door open behind him. Stan stands up and starts to follow, but Kyle grabs his sleeve.

He glances down at him. “What? Is something wrong?”

“Dude,” Kyle says, squinting at him.

Stan frowns, dreading Kyle getting pissed over a mistake he didn’t know he made, then it dawns on him. 

“Oh, shit. Sorry, dude,” He holds his hand out, helping Kyle stand, both grunting in effort. “Geez, you’re heavy.”

Kyle scowls, shoving him. “Fuck you, asshole. I have a good reason.”

“Sorry. Your baby is heavy.”

“Fuck off!”

They both laugh, Stan shaking his head. Then he pauses. “I wanna say one last thing.”

Kyle blinks at him, expression wary. “What is it?”

“I mean it. You’re gonna be a good father, dude.” He points down at his bump. “They already know it, and so do I. We’ve got your back, dude, and you’ll have theirs. You and Kenny are gonna do everything you can for this kid. I know it, because I know you.”

Kyle has tears in his eyes by the time Stan’s finished, and quickly wipes them away. “Thanks, dude. I seriously love you.”

“Same here. Now, c’mon. Let’s go eat.”

———————————————

Young “Mothers”

Context: Kyle visits Carol when he is 25 weeks along.

———————————————

“So...Ken tells me you’re six months along?” Carol sounded sheepish.

Kyle flushed, nodding. “Oh. Um, yeah. Almost. About twenty-five weeks.”

She smiled, looking like she may cry. 

“You can feel,” Kyle blurted out. “If...if you want.”

Carol blinked, stunned. “Oh...are you sure, hon?”

“Yeah,” Kyle gulped. He had no idea where that came from. “You’re - um. You’re its. Their. Grandmother.”

She actually got misty then, and very reluctantly stood, coming around the table  to where Kyle had turned himself in his chair. It felt more than a little awkward - while he’d very briefly let Stan feel once or twice, he pretty much only let Kenny and professionals anywhere near his stomach if he could help it. 

He gently reached out and took Carol’s hand, drawing her forward until she shakily pressed it against him with his guidance. He wasn’t sure what he intended to accomplish with this. She wiped her eyes with her other hand.

“Sometimes she kicks,” Kyle offered, then covered his mouth. “Oh. Um, sorry. We don’t really know the gender. Kenny just calls it a she.”

“Course he does!” She laughed, sniffing. “Oh, I’m sorry for cryin’, it’s just...I thought Kevin’d be the first one to give me grandbabies.”

Kyle shrugged, but he was smiling now. She was sort of caressing him, and he was surprised to find he didn’t mind. “Well...I guess I led Ken astray before that could happen, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that...” Carol shook her head, sighing. “You said she’s already kickin’?”

“Yeah. Just recently. I was in class the first time. I couldn’t focus afterwards, because I was just thinking about how much I wanted to tell Kenny.”

“My, my…” She chuckled. She had drawn her hand away and straightened up, but still stood in front of him. “I was already outta school and workin’ when I was your age. I’m so glad you two are still gettin’ yourselves an education.”

“I just want what’s best for it. Her. Him. The baby. Ugh.” He groaned, shifting again so he could lean against the chair. Kenny would probably rub his back before they went to sleep, whether he asked or not. “I wanted to keep it a surprise, but it’s making referring to it infuriating. I feel bad calling it...an it.”

“Don’t think she’ll mind,” Carol teased, sitting again. “Ken wants a girl, huh?”

“Yeah. He always uses ‘she’, says he doesn’t care if he’s wrong, just hates not using anything.” Kyle shrugged. “He talks about it...he says he’ll be happy no matter what, but he wants to fix her hair, and all that...it’s so cute. He’ll be such a good dad, I know it.”

“Ken’s always been so...he raised Karen more than I did, and I know he resents me for it. I tried to do right by them, I did. But I know I didn’t try near enough. Stuart…” She looked away. “...He was much older than me when I met him. And I loved the attention. But then, I got pregnant with Kevin, and my parents kicked me out. I had to marry him, for Kev’s sake. And then...I never left. Those two always had to be the men of the house. Kenny will be a good dad - he already loves you more than life itself, which is more than what I had.”

Kyle wasn’t sure what to say to that, blinking so he wouldn’t cry. He looked down, at his hand on top of his stomach.

“Kenny wants a girl, but what do you want?”

“A baby,” Kyle said without thinking about it, making Carol laugh. “I mean...I guess I don’t really care. I just want it to be healthy, and happy, and...I already love it. And I’m so scared that I’m ruining its life by wanting to keep it.”

“You’re smart,” Carol said, pointing a finger at him. “Real smart. That’s what Ken always says about you, and I know it’s true. You two’re already doing so much for your baby, startin’ off better than I ever did. Believe me - you’ll be just fine.”

Kyle nearly did cry then, squeezing his eyes shut to stop it. “T-thank you, Mrs. McCormick. That...that means a lot. Really.”

“Aw, don’t thank me, sweetheart. And call me Carol. You’re family, hon.”

That night, when they retired to Shelley’s old room once again, Kenny did indeed rub his back, kneading his thumbs in while Kyle sighed and relaxed into his touch.

“Was Ma too much for ya? I’m sorry about leaving you behind while I talked to Kev. It was just…” Kenny sounded horribly guilty.

“No, no,” He murmured, shaking his head. “She was sweet. Really sweet. I, uh, let her feel my...stomach. The baby, I guess?”

“ Really ?” Kenny asked, and Kyle chuckled at how surprised he sounded. “Well. I’ll be damned.”

“How was your talk with Kevin?”

“He’s moving back in with them. So I can stay with you.”

Kyle shifted to turn, pushing Kenny’s hands off his back in the process. “Wait, what?”

“I didn’t ask him to. He just...told me he was gonna. And I agree with him, honestly…” He reached up, stroking Kyle’s cheek with his thumb. “I wanna be with you two. Before anything else.”

You two. Kyle felt like he was going to cry again. He did that kind of a lot lately. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Kenny’s.

“You’re gonna be such a good father,” He whispered, sounding choked up. “You’re so good.”

“So’re you, firefly,” Kenny kept his hand on his face. “You’re the one doing all the work, eh?”

Kyle laughed, and it was obvious he was a couple words away from sobbing. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. You’re perfect. She’s gonna know so, too.”

“She.” He smiled wider, shaking his head slightly. “You know what’s weird?”

“What?”

He opened his eyes, though the angle was too awkward to really meet Kenny’s gaze. “I have this feeling it’s a boy. Sometimes. You know?”

“Well, you’d know, eh?” Kenny kissed him, quickly. “You’re the mama.”

Kyle laughed, but nodded. “Sure. I’m the mom. I get to be both, I guess. That doesn’t...shouldn’t that bother me? Like, make me dysphoric?”

“I dunno. If it doesn’t, who cares?”

“Who cares,” He echoed. “I love you. I said that already.”

“Say it again.”

And they curled into each other as best they could, and feel asleep just like that, whispering I love yous against each other’s lips.

———————————————

Cabin In The Woods

For this excerpt, it is necessary to mention that it was planned that Stan and Butters would break up, and Stan would end up with Craig. The group would end up going on a short trip to a cabin in the woods owned by Jimbo, and this scene occurs the first night they’re there.

———————————————

When Kyle woke up, he had been stabbed in the stomach.

He immediately knew that wasn’t true, but when he jolted awake, seizing in pain, that was the only explanation that made sense. The agony washing over him from his stomach rendered him frozen, speechless. It was like a cramp turned up a hundred notches.

As the pain slowly subsided, he shifted his hips side to side, letting out a choked sob. Fuck, he was aching. From what? What had happened, what had gone wrong?

This isn’t a miscarriage. This can’t be a miscarriage. This is not how that happens. It’s too late for that.

What is it, then?

He let out something between a choked shriek and a whine at a sudden gush of something between his legs, squeezing his thighs together on instinct. No, no, no. 

Not that. Anything but that.

He started smacking Kenny’s arm to wake him, and the blonde shot up into a sitting position.

“Ky? Babe, what—?”

“Something is wrong,” Kyle gasped, chest heaving. He lowered his legs, and could clearly feel whatever wetness that had been, making him grit his teeth. “Ken, Kenny, something’s wrong, something’s wrong —”

“Okay, okay, calm down, honey,” He shushed him, but the gentle tone did nothing for Kyle’s panic.

“I’m bleeding. I’m bleeding, Ken, I—oh, God, it hurts, Kenny—”

Kenny leaned over to quickly switch on the lamp on the bedside table, throwing the blanket off Kyle to investigate. He let out a relieved huff. “You aren’t bleeding, Ky.”

“What?” He sniffed.

“There’s no blood. Just...did you, uh…?”

“No!” Kyle wailed, shaking his head wildly. “No, I—Ken, there’s something, it’s the baby, I—”

He choked on the end of his sentence at another sharp pain in his stomach, one hand gripping down onto Kenny’s thigh with a strangled cry. He barely registered Kenny’s soft gasp of realization.

“Ky. Oh my God.”

He couldn’t speak, but wanted to shake his head, because he knew what was really happening, but no, nonononono —

“Stan!” Kenny shouted, attempting to gather Kyle into his arms. Kyle weakly clawed at his chest, groaning when he kept yelling. “Craig! Stan! Get the fuck in here!”

By the time Kyle could speak again, the door had flown open. Stan slammed his hand down on the lightswitch, fully illuminating the room.

“What’s going on?!”

“His water broke,” Kenny explained, stroking his fingers through Kyle’s tangled hair. “Go start the car.”

“On it.” Stan nodded before disappearing down the hall. Craig, in turn, hurried over to the other side of the bed.

“It’s too early, Ken, it can’t—” Kyle shook his head wildly. 

“Honey, let’s just assume, okay? Better safe than sorry, right?”

“It’ll be okay, Kyle,” Craig said. “He’s not—I thought he wasn’t due for another week or two?”

“I’m not! I’m not, it’s—oh God, what if—”

“Kyle, baby, I need you to calm down. You’re both gonna be fine, but only if you stay calm, okay?” Kenny looked terrified when Kyle met his eyes, but was keeping his voice steadier than anyone else’s. “But we both know what’s happening.”

Kyle whimpered, nodding pathetically. 

[Stan goes to get the car, but they’re snowed in.]

“Hey, hey, I’ve got you,” Kenny shushed him, brushing the hair off his already sweaty forehead. “Breathe, okay? Wanna count with me?”

“I don’t know,” Kyle whined, gripping Kenny’s upper arm.

“I can’t get a signal, Stan,” Craig said. “It’s looking like we’re stuck out here.”

“What are we supposed to do? Ken, c’mon,” Stan nudged him. “How long do we have? You guys went to those classes, right?”

“Uh, ah...” Kenny smacked his own forehead lightly. “Blankets. Get me some extra blankets, okay?”

“I’m on it.” Craig took off down the hall, leaving the other three in the bedroom.

“I-I’ll get blood on them,” Kyle piped up. When they looked confused, he clarified, “The sheets.”

Stan scoffed and shook his head. “Dude, who cares? We’ll buy new ones, or wash them.”

“It’s fine, baby,” Kenny cooed, cradling Kyle’s cheek. 

Kyle bit his lip, nodding. Then, he seized up and groaned.

“Oh, shit, uh—Stan, set a stopwatch.” 

“What?”

“Set a stopwatch on your phone,” Kenny glanced at him, then back to Kyle. “We have to time the contractions. Trust me, okay?”

“Yeah, uh, I trust you.” Stan scrambled for his phone.

[labor shit happens, stan delivers the baby while kenny and craig talk kyle through it, they’re all kind of freaking out]

“Dude, dude, um,” Stan was panting nearly as much as Kyle. “It’s—It’s a boy.”

“A boy!” Kenny cried, laughing.

At that, the baby somehow started to cry louder, wailing helplessly, and it felt like being stabbed in the heart. Kyle whined, panic welling up at the sound of his baby’s cries gone unanswered. He needed him , he needed comfort only Kyle could provide, and he knew it. “Stan, come on, give me—!”

Stan wiped the baby down and placed him on Kyle’s chest as quickly as he could. The moment Kyle’s arms shot up to cradle his child, he lost his breath.

“Congratulations, dude.” 

The baby kept crying, his eyes shut tightly and his little fists clenched, but he calmed just a little when Kyle touched his face, stroking a thumb over his tiny cheek. 

“Oh,” He said, wibbling, a smile slowly creeping across his face. “Oh, baby, oh…”

“A boy,” Kenny repeated, tucking a blanket around Kyle’s shoulders. He was crying, too. “H-He’s a boy. You were right. Oh my god.”

“ My boy,” Kyle whimpered, kissing his little forehead, humming to him. “Our little boy. Oh, baby, my baby, my boy, our sweet boy...”

He was rambling like a lunatic, but couldn’t find it in himself to care, petting his son’s face, nodding his head to nothing. 

“He’s, uh…cute,” Craig offered, and Stan gently punched his arm.

“You’re beautiful,” Kyle confirmed, nodding, kissing the boy’s little nose, feeling a little bad for getting tears on him. He was big for being preterm, and his puffy eyes squinted open as Kyle shushed him, his cries winding down completely. 

“Look at those chubby lil’ cheeks,” Kenny said, kissing the side of Kyle’s head. “God. Look at him.”

“Oh, God, we gotta—” Stan shook his head. “We gotta get help, dude. It’s—I think I can get through the storm now, and dude, Ky, you—there’s a lot of blood, we—”

“Go try and start the car again,” Kenny offered. “Ky, do you wanna—how does walking sound?”

Kyle whined slightly, and managed to tear his eyes off his son to meet Kenny’s. “I don’t know.”

[They manage to get Kyle to the hospital. Because he is preterm and born under stressful circumstances, when they arrive at the hospital, the baby is taken to the nicu and Kyle is practically dragged to a room so they can make sure he’s okay. Kenny is immediately distressed on which direction to run in, because it feels like the two halves of his heart were just pulled away, but he eventually decides to follow Kyle. Kyle yells at him for this, hysterical, saying Kenny should have followed after their baby to make sure they don’t hurt him. He's horribly paranoid that he didn’t get enough time to bond with him, in addition to everything else. Stan and Craig assure Kenny they’ll keep an eye on Kyle, and Kenny runs after their baby.]

“Can I stay with him?” Stan asked, desperate. “Please. He needs somebody.”

[xx]

“They took him! They took my baby, I—He needs me, Stan!”

“They’re just making sure everything is okay, dude,” Stan tried to reassure him. “And you had him for a little while.”

“I’m his father! ” Kyle snapped, frenzied. “He should at least be in the fucking room with me!”

“Kenny’s with him, Kyle! It’s okay. They’ll bring him to you the moment you can.” 

“And when’s that? When’s that, Stan? Why can’t they just take me down there?!”

“Because you—dude! You just gave fucking birth, I…” Stan gave the nurse a pleading look. 

———————————————

Complete

———————————————

The door opened and shut. When Kyle looked up, he saw one of the last visitors he’d been expecting.

His mother, looking completely dumbfounded by the sight of him, her child with a child .

“Mom,” He sobbed, surprised at how happy he was to see her. He’d been through such an emotional rollercoaster the past few hours that he couldn’t even bring himself to fake anger. He was just too ecstatic. “Mom, Ma, c’mere, c’mere, look.”

Sheila hurried over to the bedside, and Kenny’s arm curled a little more protectively around Kyle’s shoulders. But Kyle simply tilted his arms, grinning at her.

“Your grandson,” He whispered.

“Oh...” His mother pressed her fingertips to her mouth, lips parted.

“Look at him. God, just...” Kyle sniffled, laughing. “He’s so alert, look, look.”

“He’s beautiful, honey,” She responded, eyes wide. “Oh, hello there...!”

The baby just stared up at her, his little eyes focused intently on this new presence. The moment Kyle sniffed again, his eyes moved back over to him, and Kyle cooed down at him.

His mother seemed at a loss for words for once in her life. Finally, she said, “He has your nose.”

“Our nose,” Kyle corrected, and raised his eyebrows when she snorted. “But, really? I wasn’t sure if that would change...”

“It looks like yours did, when you were born,” Sheila confirmed, her eyes a little misty. She leaned a little closer, drawing the boy’s attention again, smiling. When she spoke, she was obviously addressing the infant. “Would you look at you!”

“You sure gave everyone a scare, huh, lil man?” Kenny chuckled, relaxing after Sheila’s sudden entrance. He had moved his other arm back under Kyle’s, as if he were cradling their son with him.

“He just wanted to meet me,” Kyle said. “Isn’t that right, honeybee?”

“Honeybee!” Sheila echoed.

“He started calling him that within, like, the first thirty minutes,” Kenny hummed.

“Well,” She said, chuckling. She slipped into that baby voice again. “Has daddy named you yet, ‘ honeybee ’?”

“No,” He said, shaking his head.

“Kyle!”

“What?! It’s been two hours, Mom. And don’t be so loud, you might scare him.” He frowned, sighing, but his smile quickly returned. “I’ll figure it out soon enough. But right now you’re just mine, right, honeybee? You’re just our little boy.”

“You could always look at a list of popular names!”

“Absolutely not,” Kyle scoffed. “I’m not going to name him something popular! He deserves something special , like, like... Ezra , or Roman , or—”

“I liked Atticus,” Kenny suggested.

“Kyle! You can’t name him something crazy.”

“It’s not crazy! It’s unique! Just like him. He’s the best baby ever, so he deserves the best name, right, honeybee?”

“Couldn’t you choose a normal name for his first name? And the middle name can be whatever you want! You can’t name this poor little thing ‘Atticus’!”

“We’ll see,” Kyle said, shrugging, snuggling the boy a little closer. When he did, the infant turned his head towards his chest, fussing. 

“Oh, I’ll go,” Sheila said, immediately, standing up straighter.

“It’s fine, you can stay,” Kyle said, then frowned at his hospital gown. He’d put it on when they started accepting visitors, only just now considering the ramifications. “I forgot I was going to bring button-ups for this.”

“We’ll get you some. Here, lean up, I’ll untie it,” Kenny offered, moving to lift his hands expectantly. Kyle shifted to let him untie the gown, but when Kenny tried to slide it down, they faced another issue—they couldn’t get it off if they couldn’t move the sleeves.

“I can hold him while you get yourself ready,” Sheila said, sounding a little giddy.

Kyle looked at her warily, but cautiously let her lift the boy from his arms. The baby immediately began to cry, already upset at not being fed yet, further distressed by this new person holding him. Kyle felt an immediate pang, and hurried to shove the top half of the gown off, and wrap it around his waist.

“Okay, okay, back, back,” He said, making grabby hands. His mother passed him the baby, and Kyle sighed in relief, settling again. He moved his son back towards his chest, letting him find his way.

“You know, you’re going to have to let other people hold him eventually,” His mother scolded. 

“Again. First. Twenty-four. Hours.” Kyle said the words very deliberately, and tried not to cringe too noticeably when he felt the baby latch on and begin to nurse. “He’s supposed to be with me right now. We’re bonding.”

“Does that hurt?” Kenny murmured, watching. He clearly didn’t mean for Sheila to hear, but she did, and laughed a little.

“Not really. It’s a little...uncomfortable at first, but I feel fine. I shouldn’t have put anything between him and my skin yet, anyway. I just thought I’d feel more embarrassed being topless than I am.”

“You should probably restrict visitors for a little while,” His mother advised. 

“You know that means you, too, right?”

“I do,” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. She was still looking at Kyle like she was amazed with this turn of events. He wondered if she’d fallen in love with this baby the moment she saw him, just like he did. She stood, patting down her clothes. “But I can always see him later! You three really could use the undisturbed time as a family.”

Kyle nearly cried again at the word ‘family’. He knew he should be angry, call his mother a hypocrite, scream that she never wanted them to be a family, and maybe he would later, but now he just sniffled and nodded.

“They’re not sure how long we’re staying,” He said, blinking through tears, but smiling. “They’re, ah...they said at least 48 hours, and they’re worried about my stitches, and that I wasn’t here for the first hour, and want to make sure he’s on track...there’ll be plenty of time to visit later.”

“Well. I’ll see you boys later, then.” His mother leaned down and kissed his forehead, lingering there for a moment. Finally, she stood, and left them by themselves.

“Sorry I didn’t stop her.” Kenny said. When Kyle looked confused, he explained, “The nurse called you ‘mom’’.”

“Oh,” Kyle said, shaking his head. “I mean...I am. I guess she just wasn’t sure how to differentiate us yet. To him, I mean.”

“Still. It’s weird that the doctors and nurses keep defaulting to that.”

“I don’t think so. That’s just what they do for any new mother. I admire your commitment to stopping people from misgendering me, though.”

“Of course!”

Kyle smiled, looking back down at their son, who was still going strong at his suckling. “We haven’t decided what he’ll call us yet, have we?”

“Guess not,” Kenny shrugged, moving his arm behind Kyle again. “Always thought you’d get just ‘Daddy’ though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Dunno. It just suits you more than any alternative.”

“Hmm. I can live with that. What’s that make you?”

“Some kids call their parents by their first names?”

“No!”

“Why not?!” He laughed. “We’re cool parents.”

Kyle blushed. “Because I want to be Daddy.”

“Well. You can be Dad, and I can be Kenny.”

“No way! Then he’ll see me as like...the bad guy.”

“How?!”

“Because he’ll think you’re cooler, and more casual! No, no, no.”

“Well then. What do you suggest, o wise one?”

Kyle bit his lip, tilting his head. “I’ll be Daddy. You’ll be...Papa.”

Kenny raised his eyebrows, then nodded. “That’s...pretty good, actually. I like that one.”

Kyle smiled, then sighed when he felt the boy finally break away from his breast, seemingly dropping right into sleep after his meal. “We need to worry about what to call him .”

“Well...are we going with Atticus?”

“No, no...he doesn’t look like an Atticus.”

“Mmm...” Kenny nodded, resting his cheek on top of Kyle’s head. “You’re right. He looks like a honeybee.”

Kyle laughed. He felt more whole than he had in months, like all the pieces of his life had come together at last. His family was here, with him, and they were healthy and safe and everything was going to be okay. As long as Kenny and his baby were around, everything would be alright in the end.

He smiled at Kenny, crying again, just a little. “How do you feel about Luke? He looks like a Luke.”

Kenny paused, seeming to think that over. “Well...you’re right, he does. But it should be short for something, right? I can only think of Lucas. And that’s pretty basic.”

Kyle frowned, nodding. Then, he had an idea. “Well, we’ll spell it differently.”

Kenny laughed. “Oh, God, we’re gonna be those people?”

“No, no, nothing crazy,” Kyle soothed, shaking his head. “I’ve seen it with a K sometimes. L-U-K-A-S. It seems sharper, doesn’t it? Like you need to stress the kh more.”

“You’ve got a point.” He leaned down and started stage-whispering. “Hey, hey, lil guy. He says Lukas. Whaddya think?”

The baby, predictably, didn’t react at all, fast asleep.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Kyle said, grinning. When he turned to Kenny, he kissed him, just once, and then pulled away and pecked his nose.

“He gets a crazy middle name, though, right?”

“Not crazy. Unique. Special. Like him.”

“Yeah,” Kenny said, conceding, smiling down at Lukas. “He sure is somethin’ special. Goddamn.”

Kyle could feel his eyelids drooping when he looked down at the sleeping child in his arms. He’d been so scared he wouldn’t connect, but nothing had ever felt quite this natural.

“Hear that?” He whispered. “You’re special. So special. You even turned your grandma to the dark side.”

“I think it’s the cheeks,” Kenny said. “I’m not over those chubby lil’ cheeks.”

Kyle snorted. “I love everything. You know?”

“Oh, Christ, me too.”

Kyle leaned back into Kenny’s arm, and the blonde tucked him to his chest, curling his other arm around the both of them. They fit, so perfectly, as perfectly as always, just with a brand new puzzle piece they didn’t know they needed.

“It feels complete,” Kenny whispered, reverent. “Us. You know?”

Kyle knew.

———————————————

An Outing

———————————————

“What bottles did we need again?”

“I said we’d need those in a few weeks. Not now. ”

Kenny leaned over the end of the shopping cart, his hands on the sides. They’d been leisurely making their way through the aisles, collecting anything they hadn’t in the weeks prior to Lukas’ birth - the overlooked necessity of nursing bras, extra diapers (to be extra safe) with a new diaper bag to match, and the cutest little baby clothes in the world. (They probably only seemed that cute because they were for his baby, but Kyle didn’t particularly care.)

Kyle matched his fiance’s pose as best he could and raised his eyebrows. “Yes?”

“And why not?” Kenny asked, reaching a hand between them to absently sort of paw at Lukas where he sat in the seat attached to the cart, smiling when the infant reached for the touch. 

“Because…?” Kyle did a vague gesture at his chest, hidden by his deceptively heavy-looking coat. “We aren’t using formula. We only need bottles once I start weaning him off breastfeeding.” 

“I know that, but what about the pump? You need somewhere to save that milk.”

Kyle paused, realizing he was right. “Oh. Good point. I...completely blanked on that.”

Kenny gasped dramatically. “Did I...know something Kyle Broflovski didn’t ?! Why, be still my beating heart!”

“Oh, fuck off. I knew that, I just forgot .”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, hot stuff.”

“Well, genius ,” Kyle moved to the side of the cart, taking Kenny’s chin in his considerably smaller hand. “Why don’t you go grab that pump, and I’ll think about asking Sharon if I can help with dinner.”

Kenny grinned. For whatever reason, he seemed the teensiest bit obsessed with Kyle’s amateur cooking. Stan teased that it was part of Kenny’s desire to ‘wife Kyle up’, which Kenny insisted didn’t exist, though nobody was really convinced. (Kyle was sure if he wore an apron, Kenny would drop dead. He might too, though, thinking of the inverse.)

“You got it, firefly,” Kenny chirped, leaning forward and pecking the other’s lips before leaving him in the aisle. 

Kyle watched him go, rolling his eyes before reclaiming his spot over the handle of the cart, cooing at Lukas - his perfect boy was in the seat that the grocery store provided for babies, though Sharon had suggested they buy their own if they planned to take him on more shopping trips. Attached to the cart, he twisted his socked feet, looking up at Kyle with wide brown eyes. They wouldn’t know his actual eye color for a while, but Kyle wished he would keep these, because they looked so much like Kenny’s.

Lukas already looked like Kenny in general. All dark eyes and light hair, he made Kyle want to dig up Kenny’s baby pictures to compare. But it didn’t matter - he was beautiful no matter what, because he was their little boy.

“Hey, honeybee,” Kyle said, his voice softening around the edges, playing with Lukas’ feet. He smiled - social smiles , the website had called them - and gurgled. Kyle grinned and nodded. Acting excited when Lukas made any sort of sound was supposed to help language development, at least according to the sites Kyle anxiously scrolled through. “Yes, yes! Hi. We’ve been out a while, huh? Miss your uncle?” 

(Stan loooooved Lukas. He always said it was because they shared a connection because of the delivery. Kyle always pointed out who did all the damn work, which always shut him up. But, he was glad his best friend had taken not only his pregnancy in stride, and delivered his goddamn baby, but after, enthusiastically offered to hold, rock, even change Lukas. Kyle’s heart had soared at the joy in Stan’s eyes when he’d passed Lukas to him in the hospital, saying a soft Meet your uncle Stan. )

“Bet you’re tired~. Is my Lukie tired? Is he?” Kyle didn’t even baby talk animals, but he’d taken up the sing-songy speech practically the moment Lukas was laid in his arms. He guessed it was a dad thing. 

“Well, well, well! If it isn’t Kylie !”

Oh.

Oh, no.

no no no no no no no no

Kyle froze. He’d been granted a reprieve from him for the past few weeks, and thought he’d have more time to prepare himself before having to hear him again. But when Kyle lifted his head, he was greeted with a sight better left unseen.

Eric Cartman leered at him from the end of the aisle, walking over with his hands shoved in the pockets of his stupid fucking trucker jacket. Kyle felt himself coil up like a spring ready to pop.

“Leave me alone,” Kyle sighed, startled at the effort required to stop himself from literally shaking with anger before he’d even said anything.

“I just wanted to say hi, goddamn. What kinda friend would I be, Kylie, if I didn’t say hi to you and Kenny Jr?”

“Leave. Me. Alone.” Kyle craned himself protectively around Lukas, glaring at Cartman with the deepest scowl he could muster. His brain was still buzzing, anxious little screams of run run run. “And stop calling me Kylie.”

“Listen, you can’t fuckin’ pop a baby out and expect to be treated like you’re some big man. ‘Sides, I saw you - you make a real sweet mommy.”

Kyle thought he might throw up. “What the fuck do you want , Cartman?”

“Just to talk! Like I said. We’re friends, right?”

no no not ever 

“We aren’t fucking friends.”

“What’cha name him? Something Jew-y, right?”

“Cartman.” Kyle growled. 

“God, always so fucking mad. Why are you always so pissed at me, Kylie?”

3 strikes, he’s out!

Kyle scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t have to fucking take this. Fuck you.”

He started to push the cart and walk away, but a hand wrapped around his wrist and spun him around. He was brought face to face with Cartman, his damn cheese breath on his face.

“Let go of me, dickweed!” Kyle pulled his wrist uselessly. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“You think you’re so fucking smart,” Cartman spat, literally, and Kyle fully gagged when it hit his face, just causing the stronger teen to shake him. “You think you’re so smart, and so much better than me. But you’re not. You just want everyone on you, huh?”

Kyle struggled, twisting in his grip. God, why was this happening? He used to kick his ass when they were little! “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Just let me go, you fucking asshole!” .

“You’ve hated me from day one! Day fucking one! Why?”

Why? Why?! Kyle could have laughed if he didn’t feel like he was choking on air. The question was so absurd he could barely process the twisted logic behind it.

“How - Cartman. Just let go.” Kyle pulled again, and Cartman tugged him closer and held tighter. It felt like his wrist was going to snap. Since when was he stronger? “You’re hurting me!”

“How do you think I feel? Huh? How the fuck do you think I feel. I’m nothing to you. But you always put yourself in my fuckin’ way.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about ! You’re hurting me !” 

Behind them, Lukas began to wail. Kyle jerked again, trying to go to him, only to be held impossibly harder. “No - I - Cartman, please, he-” He pleaded, sounding as desperate as he was, hearing Lukas cry behind him, desperate to grab his child and run run run.

“Changed your tune, eh?”

“Please. He needs me.”

“What, is he hungry?” Cartman poked him in the chest, and Kyle yelped, trying to get away, absolutely mortified at how his strength had left him. 

“ Hey! ”

Kenny.

Cartman released his wrist immediately, and Kyle practically threw himself towards the cart, unbuckling Lukas and scooping him into his arms. 

“Shh, shh,” He whispered, shushing his cries. “I’m okay. It’s okay, honeybee.” 

“What the fuck were you doing?” Kenny stomped towards Cartman, grabbing him by the front of the shirt. He looked scary - the expression on his face was downright murderous.

“Woah, calm down! Lea-” Cartman seemed to see the twisting of Kenny’s features at the syllable, and, miraculously, rethought his words. “Kahl and I were just talking. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“Oh, really?” Kenny laughed bitterly. “Cause it kinda looks like you were hurting my fiancé. Which I don’t take too damn kindly to, especially from shitheads like yourself.”

Yerself. Kenny’s accent rarely came out, and any other time, Kyle would revel in it - but now, he was too busy bouncing and shushing his baby and watching carefully. He stroked the top of Lukas’ head, willing himself to calm the fuck down.

“So how about you tell me what really happened, Eric ?”

———————————————

Family

This scene is an epilogue that takes place when Lukas is thirteen.

———————————————

“Hey, Dad?”

“Yes?”

“How old were you when you had me?”

Kyle stopped dead in his tracks, hand frozen on the handle to the refrigerator. 

Usually, this would be an easy question. A child’s curiosity. In another situation, the answer might be 21, 27, 30. Something simple and breezy.

But it wasn’t as easy here.

Because Kyle was only just nearly twenty-nine, and his son was thirteen.

“Ah...why, honeybee? Do you have a project or something?” Kyle knew this question would come up eventually, it had to, but suddenly all his plans for answering had jumbled together.

“No.” Lukas said, simply. He was always so serious.

Kyle turned around, abandoning his mission of surprise cake. That could wait. Lukas was still standing by the door, his backpack on the floor by his feet. He didn’t meet Kyle’s eyes.

Kyle pulled out one of the stools in front of the counter. “Let’s sit. Okay?”

He had a feeling Lukas was asking for a confirmation, not an answer. He had a habit of figuring things out before anybody else told him.

“Why do you ask that?” Kyle asked, his voice gentle. “It’s okay. I’m not upset.”

“You and Papa are the same age, right?”

“Yes.”

“And he just turned twenty-nine.”

“Yes.”

“So, that means…” Lukas hesitated, something he didn’t often do. Kyle gave him an encouraging nod - he’d already figured this out. “You’re about that age, too. I’m thirteen, so you had me thirteen years ago. That means you were...sixteen.”

Kyle nodded. “Yes. I was.”

“I...why?”

Now, that wasn’t exactly what Kyle expected him to ask. Why? What was he supposed to say to that? ‘Your father and I were teenagers and stupid’? 

“Lukie, I…” He sighed. “I was a teenager. And sometimes, teenagers take risks they probably shouldn’t take. I thought I knew everything. But it worked out okay, and I got you out of it.”

He reached up and held Lukas’ face as he said this, smiling earnestly at him. The boy looked thoughtful, and Kyle swallowed hard.

“So I was, like...an accident?”

“No!” Kyle barely stopped his voice from raising, shaking his head. “ No . Lukas, you’re the best thing that ever happened to us. W-we didn’t mean for it to happen, but I have never, ever regretted bringing you into this world. Understand?”

They both turned their heads at the back door unlocking and opening. 

“Hey, gang,” Kenny chirped as he entered, a large plastic bag dangling from one hand and the other perilously balancing a drink holder. Kyle quickly got up and took it from him.

“You could have dropped that!” He chided, sitting it on the kitchen table. Kenny sat the bag next to it, smiling at Kyle before quickly pecking his lips. 

“Hello to you too,” He snorted, then looked back up and grinned at Lukas. “How was school, pal?”

“Fine,” Lukas said, quickly standing and moving towards the stairs.

“ Up-up-up !” Kyle scrambled back in that direction, gently grabbing his wrist. “We need to talk about this, Luke, especially now that your father’s home.”

“What are we talking about?” Kenny’s brow furrowed, quickly losing his smile. “Did something happen?”

Kyle turned Lukas around, ending up with his hands on his shoulders, standing behind him. “We were talking about how Luke was born.”

Kenny looked even more confused, until it dawned on him. “Oh. I see. Let’s sit at the table, yeah?”

Lukas begrudgingly moved with them to the table, looking somewhat...embarrassed. They sat down, Lukas purposefully sitting at the end, where there was only one chair. Kyle and Kenny took the nearest chair on either side, turning towards him.

“It’s not a big deal, really,” He muttered. “I just wanted to know.”

“It’s important to talk about,” Kyle said, putting one hand on top of the table. “You’re only three years younger than we were. It’s important to know how to be sa-”

“You don’t have to give me the sex talk, Dad,” Lukas snapped, his cheeks heating up. “I already know. They talk about that at school. A-and Papa already talked to me about it before that.”

Kyle’s eyes snapped over to Kenny. He wasn’t aware of that.

Kenny looked sheepish. “You weren’t home!”

“We’ll talk about that later,” He said. He liked having serious conversations like that together. “What I mean is. We want to answer any questions you have about this. We understand if you’re upset.”

Lukas pursed his lips. “Fine. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

The couple glanced at each other again. They’d prepared for this conversation, but it was a lot more alarming up close and personal.

“We were waiting for it to come up naturally. But we weren’t hiding it,” Kenny said. “You know how old we are, and how old you are. It’s just not something we talk about a lot.”

It really wasn’t - honestly, at the point they were at, with stable jobs and Lukas in school, it wasn’t at the forefront of their minds anymore. It only became obvious when they met parents of Lukas’ friends, who clearly had suspicions based on how young they looked, but it really wasn’t any of their business.

“We were really lucky,” Kyle continued. “When I got pregnant with you, Stan’s mom took me in immediately. She was a massive help every step of the way.”

“Did you get kicked out or something?” Lukas asked. “You said she ‘took you in’.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I did,” He admitted, taking Lukas’ hand. “Obviously, your grandmother came around to it, because she loves you, but my parents…they weren’t happy with me. So I went to Stan’s.”

“Why not Papa’s?”

“I was already taking care of myself, and my sister. I was fully ready to take another job to support your dad,” Kenny looked at Kyle pointendly, who just squinted at him. “And I did get another job , but he insisted on living with your uncle.”

“Just until we could get our own place. I still wanted us both to go to school, so I didn’t want to have to worry about rent payments.”

“Thankfully, Ky’s a genius and could get any college he wanted,” Kenny purred, and Kyle playfully kicked his leg under the table.

“So could you,” He shot back. Then he reached down, picked up Lukas’ hand and took it in his own. “But, Lukas. I need you to understand. You are not an accident.”

Kenny flinched, and Kyle clarified, “He said it before you came in. I’m just making it clear that’s not the case.”

“Not at all,” Kenny shook his head, leaning forward. “We love you, kid. Loved you back when you were just a bunch of cells.”

“I’m still a bunch of cells,” He pointed out.

“You know what I meant, smart aleck.”

“The point is,” Kyle continued. “You’re not an accident. You’re our son . I’m not trying to glorify what we did - we should have been more careful. But never, even for a moment, have I ever regretted it, Lukas, because it gave us you .”

Kenny nodded. “You’re everything to us, Luke. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner.”

“It just...I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like you, Dad.”

Kyle snorted. “Yeah, that’s what everybody else said. But it really wasn’t a big deal- for us. Again. We had a lot of outside support. We wanted to make sure you had everything we could give you.”

It was terrible at the start, when they both had school and jobs. For a long time, they only saw Lukas together in the mornings and on weekends. Kenny worked extra, too, and the guilt he felt when Kyle was off and he wasn’t drove him crazy. They weren’t fully on their own until Lukas was around four. But thirteen years later, they had a house and a mortgage and things were looking like any other suburban family. Through all of it, they had each other, and they had their son, and that made everything worth it.

“I fell in love with you the moment I heard your heartbeat. I wanted you to have a normal life,” Kyle said, squeezing Lukas’ hand again. “I’m sorry we didn’t just tell you, Lukas. We didn’t want to freak you out, but that wasn’t fair to you. You deserved to know.”

Lukas stared at his hand in his father’s, and blinked rapidly. 

“C’mere,” Kenny said, tugging Lukas over to him, hugging him while he squirmed. Kyle got up and took the other side, humming contentedly.

“Stooooop,” Lukas groaned, trying to wiggle out of their grasp. “I get it. You love me.”

“I don’t know,” Kenny made a face like he was deep in thought. “Ky, should we let him go?”

“Maybe later,” Kyle said, kissing Lukas’ temple, making him whine. 

“The food’ll get cold!” Lukas argued.

Kenny let him go at that, and Kyle held him a moment longer, squeezing him before pulling away.

“You can talk to us about it any time you want,” He said, petting his head. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I know,” He grumbled. “Can we eat dinner now?”

“Yeah, yeah. Picked up some Chinese on the way home.”

And as they dove into spring rolls and chow mein, it didn’t matter at all how old they were, or how they’d gotten where they were.

Because they were a family.