Chapter Text
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Amanda’s Apartment - Tuesday Afternoon 4p
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Not long after receiving her first dose of antibiotics Billie began feeling much better. And after spending a couple of days monitoring her progress, the hospital released her late Tuesday morning.
***
Amanda and Billie were watching TV together in the living room when they heard jingling at the door.
A few seconds later Jesse and Sonny, who had left to pick her up from school, entered inside the apartment.
Billie grinned as she watched her dad help Jesse out of her coat and boots. Once all her stuff was off Jesse ran over to her little sister and gave her a big, but gentle hug.
“I’m glad you’re home.” She told her. “Are you feeling better?”
Billie smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”
Amanda decided to let Jesse and Billie have some alone time together so she got up from the couch, greeted her eldest daughter with a kiss on the head and joined her boyfriend in the kitchen.
Her and Sonny stood quietly watching the two girls, who were very animatedly chatting with each other.
“I know we have the civil suit and the issue with Jesse’s hospital bills still hanging over our heads.” Amanda eventually said to him. “But we also have a whole lot to be very grateful for and I am.”
He wrapped his arm around Amanda, pulled her in closer to him and kissed her temple. “Me too.”
She smiled softly and rested her head on his shoulder.
A few moments later Frannie, who had been asleep in the living room, walked into the kitchen with her leash in her mouth and plopped down by the couple’s feet.
“I’ll take her out so you can get dinner started.” Amanda told him.
Sonny nodded. “Sounds good.”
Amanda headed to the closet by the door to get her coat while the counselor made his way around the kitchen gathering all the ingredients needed to make waffles and the other breakfast foods Billie requested for her welcome home dinner.
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After everyone ate Sonny cleaned up while Amanda helped Jesse and Billie with their baths. Then they all gathered into the living room to enjoy some quiet time.
“Alright girls, you’ve got one hour til bedtime.” Amanda told her daughters. “How about we do a puzzle? Or read—“
“Do we have to go to bed so soon?”Jesse asked, interrupting. “Can’t we stay up a little bit longer?”
Amanda ran a hand through her hair. “I know that with everything that’s been going on these past few weeks Sonny and I have sometimes let you and Billie stay up later than we normally would. But it’s important that you two start getting back on your old schedule. Which means back to your regular bedtime, all the time.”
Jesse sighed, but nodded.
Billie gently tapped her mother’s arm. “Mommy I need to go to the bathroom.”
Amanda nodded and got up from the couch. “OK let me help you.”
The little girl climbed off and the two made their way into the bathroom together.
Sonny sat quietly thinking to himself in the nearby loveseat for a minute. He then got up, sat down next to Jesse and whispered something into her ear. As he did the slight frown on her face dissipated and her little eyes lit up. When he finished speaking she nodded and watched as he got up and made his way to Amanda’s bedroom.
The counselor reemerged a few minutes later just as Amanda and Billie were coming out of the bathroom.
“I know what we should do.” Jesse said to her mom as she hopped off the couch.
“What?”
“Play a game.”
She nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
Amanda walked over to the girls’ play corner in the living room and began looking through the board games they had. “Which one do you wanna play?”
Jesse shook her head. “None of those. I want to play Simon Says.”
The blonde chuckled. “A game with no clean up involved is my kind of game.”
“Mine too.” The counselor said smiling.
Amanda looked down at Billie. “Sweetie, do you remember how to play?”
The little girl nodded.
“OK Jess.” Sonny said to the soon to be 7-year-old. “Since you suggested we play Simon Says you get to be Simon first.”
Amanda, Sonny and Billie stood in front of her and waited for “Simon’s” first command.
“Simon says touch your toes.”
All three reached down and touched their toes.
“Simon says rub your belly.”
The trio each took one of their hands and rubbed their stomachs.
“Spin around.”
Billie started to spin, but Amanda subtly stopped her.
“Simon says spin around.”
Everybody spun around once.
“Simon says pet Frannie.”
Amanda, Sonny, and Billie turned their attention to the dog, who had hopped up onto the couch behind them, and began petting her.
“Stop.”
They continued to pet her.
“Simon says stop.”
All three abruptly stopped, much to the dog’s dismay. Frannie gave them side eye and then laid her head back down.
Jesse continued on. “Simon says march in place.”
Sonny and Amanda started marching and once they did Billie followed suit.
“Simon says stop.”
They all stopped.
“Simon says get down on your knees.”
They all kneeled down as Jesse obliged.
“Simon says stand up.”
Amanda and Billie got up but Sonny stayed down and turned to his girlfriend.
The blonde stood looking confused for a second but when she glanced over at a giddy Jesse and then saw the counselor smile and take her hands into his she quickly put two and two together.
“I was always gonna do this tonight during family time when we were all together but the idea of using Simon Says just popped into my head while you and Billie were in the bathroom.” Sonny told her. “Jesse and I thought it’d be a fun way for me to do it.”
He cleared his throat and continued.
“Anyways, I held off on proposing for so long because it never felt like the ‘right’ time to do it.” Sonny began. “There always seemed like something important was happening that we needed to focus on. But there will probably always be somethin’ pressing goin’ on in our lives that we’ll need to deal with. So I’ve decided it’s time to stop waiting for the ‘right’ time and that I need to just go ahead and do what I’ve been wanting to do for a very LONG time.”
Amanda grinned and stood quietly waiting for him to carry on.
He reached inside his shirt pocket, pulled out the engagement ring and held it up.
“I love you, our girls and the life we’ve built together.” The counselor said to her tenderly. “And I would love it if we made this little family of ours official.”
Sonny took a deep breath and exhaled. “So what does Amanda say?” He asked, chuckling. “Will she marry me?”
She jokingly mulled it over and then told him, “Amanda says yes.”
The girls clapped and cheered as they watched Sonny slip the ring onto Amanda’s finger, stand up and kiss her.
She then lifted Billie into arms while Sonny scooped up Jesse.
“Lets celebrate!” Jesse told them, quickly adding, “Until bedtime anyways.”
The smiling blonde laughed and nodded.
She set her youngest daughter down. “Pretty sure we have some sparkling grape juice around here somewhere.”
Amanda made her way into the kitchen while Sonny gave Jesse a wink, put her down and then went to help his fiancé.
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Two Weeks Later
December
Courthouse - Wednesday Morning 10a
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“Judge, hey.” An exasperated looking Liv said as she, with Fin and Velasco, entered the courtroom. “What’s going on?”
“You’re just in time.” He told her.
“For what?” The confused Captain asked.
Just then Sonny walked through the doors.
“Hey everybody.” The counselor placed his briefcase on the empty defense’s table. “Thank you all for coming.”
“What’s up Carisi?” A seriously looking Fin asked him.
Before he could respond Amanda, with Jesse and Billie by her side, emerged from a door on the opposite side of the room.
She was holding a small bouquet of white flowers and wearing a white gown while her daughters were in matching little white dresses of their own.
“Oh wow.” Fin commented while a stunned looking Liv stood speechless.
“Carisi and I were talking and we realized that a marriage is a lot like a crime.” Amanda said as her and the girls made their way over to them. “We have motive and opportunity.”
Sonny reached for Amanda’s hand and held it. “Yeah. And we figured all we needed were witnesses.”
“We didn’t want to do this without any of you here.” Amanda added as her and the Captain hugged.
Fin smiled. “You gonna start crying already Liv?”
“Yes.” She said while still hugging Amanda. When she eventually let her go Liv looked down at her ring. “So how long have you been keeping this a secret?”
“Not long.” Amanda reassured her. “We wanted to get through Thanksgiving first.”
“Then we took some time to celebrate this girl turning seven.” Sonny placed his arms on a smiley Jesse’s shoulders.
“And now you’re getting married.” Liv said.
Sonny and Amanda grinned at each other.
“Counselor, are you ready to begin the longest arraignment of your life?” Judge McNamara asked.
“I am.”
Liv motioned for Jesse and Billie to come stand by her and once everyone was in place the judge asked the couple, “Do you have the rings?”
Sonny reached into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out the wedding bands. “You get the big one.”
Amanda laughed softly as she set her bouquet down and took the ring from him.
“Dearly beloved.” The judge began. “We are gathered here today in the presence of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony…”
XXXXXXXXXXXX
As Amanda and Sonny kissed everyone in attendance at their small, restaurant reception began cheering and clinking their drink glasses.
“I’m so happy for you.” Liv said as she gave Sonny a hug and then Amanda.
“Congrats, man.” Fin said to the counselor. “Does this mean you get more than one drawer?” He asked jokingly.
Sonny chuckled. “We’re still negotiating.”
“I can’t believe your mother isn’t here.” Liv commented.
“Oh, she’s plannin’ the real wedding on Staten Island.” The counselor told her.
“Just wanted to spare you the ice sculptures.” Amanda added.
Both Liv and Fin laughed.
Just then the counselor’s phone rang. He excused himself and stepped away to answer it but immediately walked back to the trio. “It’s Langan.” Sonny told his wife. “He was really tryin’ to get ahold of you. Said it’s important.”
Amanda nodded and Liv and Fin watched as the two headed off to a private area of the restaurant to take the call.
They reappeared about ten minutes later and walked back over to them.
“Everything OK?” Fin asked the newlyweds.
“Yeah.” A still slightly shocked Amanda told them. “He just called to tell us that Al dropped the suit against me.”
The Captain and sergeant’s eyes both widened in surprise.
“We’re not sure why he did.” Amanda continued. “No reason was given.”
“Sounds like something or maybe someone got him to see the light.” Fin subtly glanced over at Liv. “I wonder who.”
“I have no idea.” Sonny said as he wrapped his arm around Amanda, who rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m just glad he did and that we can finally put that behind us and move forward.”
Liv smiled and the foursome continued engaging in idle chit chat together.
*******************
Six Weeks Later
January 2023
Fordham University - Monday Afternoon 1p
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The next few weeks were blissful for the couple but there were things Amanda and Sonny had to resolve and/or come to terms with. For the counselor it was an issue that’d been bothering him on and off since finding out Billie was his daughter.
***
“Thanks again for agreeing to give an on the fly tour of Fordham for Zara and her cousin Maya on such short notice.” Nick Amaro said to the counselor as the former colleagues sat down on a bench a few feet from where his daughter and niece were eating lunch together on an unusually warm January day in the Bronx. “We were only planning on visiting NYU and then on the plane ride here Zara asks me out of nowhere, last minute, if we can look at Fordham too.” He chuckled. “Hopefully this wasn’t too much of an inconvenience. I know how busy you probably are.”
“It was really no trouble at all.” The ADA assured him. “I have surgery scheduled for Tuesday and had been told by my boss to just take the week off so I was free.”
Nick crinkled his forehead. “Surgery? Nothing major I hope.”
Sonny’s face turned red. “No it’s umm…nothin’ serious. Just a uh…minor thing.”
Nick, who the counselor suspected had an idea of what he was having done, nodded. “I see.” But he didn’t pry and instead changed the subject entirely. “So did you and Rollins have a good Christmas?”
Sonny gave him a small smile. “We did.” He began thinking back to that day.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Christmas 2022
Amanda and Sonny’s Apartment - Sunday Morning 7a
Billie and Jesse, who was finally free of her cast, came running into the couple’s room, and jumped onto the bed, waking them up.
“It’s finally Christmas!” Billie yelled out.
A groggy, but happy Amanda sat up and nodded. “It is. Which means you two are probably ready to open presents.”
Jesse and Billie nodded excitedly.
“OK, let’s go.”
Sonny and Amanda smiled as they watched the girls hop off the bed and sprint into the living room.
The couple followed them and watched as they each grabbed gifts from under the tree and began ripping them open.
Once Jesse and Billie finished opening everything by the Christmas tree, the girls made their way to their stockings.
In them were two small identical shaped red and green gift boxes with a card attached to Jesse’s. Both girls took their stocking stuffers out and sat down on the couch in between Sonny and Amanda.
“These are from me.” He told them. “But before you two open them up I want Jesse to read her card.”
She nodded and slowly removed the card from the envelope.
“To a very special girl.”
She opened it and smiled when she saw a photo of Sonny and her as a baby taped to one side. Jesse then started to read the handwritten note on the other side.
“Not…flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone. But still miracu…lously my own. Never forget for a single…m—minute. That while I didn’t help g—give you life I’m so happy my…life has you in it. I love you to the moon and back, Jesse Sue. Will you let me be your daddy and adopt you?”
After writing in the card Sonny had worried the first half of his note might end up going over Jesse’s head, despite her being an advanced reader. He also wondered, after she initially expressed to him and Amanda her desire for Sonny to be her ‘real’ dad, if adoption would be something she’d feel just as happy about. But the counselor’s fears were assuaged when the teary eyed 7-year-old nodded. “Yes.” She then crawled onto his lap and hugged him.
An emotional Amanda grinned as she watched her equally emotional husband squeeze Jesse tightly.
When they finally let go an antsy Billie asked, “Can we open our presents now?”
Sonny blinked back his tears and smiled. “Yes you can.”
The girls turned their attention to the small gift boxes in their hands and opened them.
“Ooo these are pretty.” Jesse said as she stared down at the set of stud earrings.
Billie looked at hers. “B and a C.”
“And I have a J and a C.” Jesse told her little sister. She then quickly put two and two together. “These are gonna be our new initials! Jesse Carisi and Billie Carisi!”
The couple nodded.
Jesse went and hugged Sonny again and Billie quickly followed suit.
Amanda sat watching her husband and daughters for a minute and then jokingly asked, “What am I? Chopped liver?”
Sonny chuckled and the three of them pulled Amanda into the big group hug.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
“I still can’t believe you and Rollins are married.” Nick said as he interrupted the counselor’s thoughts and pointed to his wedding band. “You said you’d give me the details on how that came to be later. Well it’s later so spill.”
Sonny laughed softly. “Well once you left the precinct Amanda and I were almost always partnered up together and we just grew to become close friends. And over time we realized there was somethin’ deeper there and eventually decided to pursue a relationship.”
“And now you, Amanda…her girls. You’re all a family.”
Sonny grinned. “We are.”
“There are a lot of guys out there who simply tolerate their wives’ kids.” The former detective noted. “But I can tell you really love hers. You’re a good man Carisi.”
He gave him a small smile back but stayed quiet and Nick could sense a slight shift in his demeanor. “I feel like I hit a nerve.”
Sonny wavered on whether or not he wanted to bring up the situation with Billie. He wasn’t bothered by the fact that Nick and Amanda had a thing at one point. Still, the two of them had never been all that close. However he knew that his former squad mate was probably the only person who would know how he felt. In a way not even Amanda couldn’t fully comprehend. So he decided to open up about it.
He took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m in the process of adopting Jesse. But just Jesse. And that’s because I recently found out I’m actually Billie’s biological father.”
His eyes widened in surprise. “Wow. And you two had no idea that—“
“None.” Sonny said, cutting him off. “I mean, Amanda and I knew there was a chance she could be mine but we did a DNA test and it showed I wasn’t the father. But we discovered that a careless mistake was made at the lab and she really is my daughter. Nearly four years later.”
Nick sighed. “So you’re a member of the ‘I didn’t know I had a kid’ club too.”
Sonny nodded. He then stared off into space for a second and eventually told him, “I had always spent a lot of time with the girls. When Amanda and I were just friends and obviously after. I was around so much that Billie, before we learned the truth and told her, once had Jesse ask me if I was her daddy.” He sighed. “Still I…”
“Weren’t around the way you feel you should’ve and would’ve been had you known Billie was yours.” Nick concluded.
“Yeah.” Sonny whispered. “I know the mix up wasn’t my fault but I still feel guilty about not bein’ present everyday like I always envisioned I would be if I was a father. I also can’t stop thinkin’ about what could have been. Because if I had known Amanda was pregnant with my child all those years ago I would’ve tried harder and earlier to see where things could go. I know she would’ve too. But we didn’t. And we lost out on years worth of memories and who knows what else.”
Nick took a minute to collect his thoughts and then responded. “Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t.”
Sonny shot him a confused look.
“Think about who you were and who Rollins was five years ago.” He told him. “Do you think you were both ready for a serious relationship back then? The kind of relationship you have now?”
The counselor furrowed his brows and let his mind drift back.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
“We shouldn’t have done this.” Amanda finally said as she hooked her bra and slung the straps over her shoulders. “It was nice but it wasn’t a good idea.”
Sonny frowned. “But—“
“We’re partners Carisi.” Amanda reminded him. “And mixing work with pleasure never ends well. So it’s probably best we blame it on the alcohol, nip whatever that was in the butt here and now and forget it ever happened.”
Amanda then added in somewhat of a self deprecating tone, “You don’t want me, anyways. Trust me.”
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The counselor continued to think back. Back to who he also was at that time and the personal growth not only Amanda had undergone in the past few years but him as well. Especially after becoming an ADA.
“We might not’ve been.” Sonny finally admitted. “Meaning if the two of us had tried to take our relationship to the next level all those years ago it may not have worked out like I’m assuming it would’ve. Despite having a baby together.”
Nick nodded and told him, “You’ve always been a standup guy; one who’d never leave his kid hanging. So if there had been no mixup with the test and you had know Billie was your daughter you would’ve been ‘dad’ to her from the start. But that’s all you know for certain. Whether or not Amanda and Jesse would be in your life the way they are now? You don’t know.”
The counselor sighed. “I would never want a life without all three of them in it.”
Nick turned his attention toward Zara, who was smiling and hysterically laughing at something her cousin said. “And I’d never want to live in a world that didn’t have my little girl in it. But had I known about Gil from the beginning my life probably never would’ve crossed paths with Maria’s. Which means there would be no Zara.”
He looked back at Sonny. “So I don’t romanticize about what could have been. Because it probably wouldn’t have been all I was hoping for anyways. I instead choose to focus on the present and thank God for everything that I have now.”
Sonny stayed silent as he soaked in what his former colleague was saying.
“And I’m guessing that if, before the truth came out, Billie had assumed you were her dad it was because you were around more than you give yourself credit for.” Nick continued. “So don’t dwell on the fact that it wasn’t everyday. It was enough to make an impact. And I promise you that, when both girls reflect on the early years and look back on them in photos and videos they won’t be thinking about how you used to be Uncle Sonny then. Just what a great father they’ve always had.“
The counselor gave him a small smile and nodded.
Just then Zara and Maya, who had finished eating, came running up to them.
“Where to next?” Zara asked her dad and the counselor.
“How ‘bout the library?” Sonny suggested as the two stood up. “Since it’s close by.”
Nick noticed his daughter seemed less than enthused about seeing the library. “College isn’t just about having fun. The reason you’re there is to learn. So I think checking out the library is a great idea.”
Zara nodded. “OK.”
After the counselor pointed out where the building was the girls hurried off ahead.
The men walked together in silence for a while until Nick broke it.
“So are your bosses OK with you and Rollins being married?” He asked curiously. “They don’t see it as a conflict of interest?”
“One of us would’ve had to transfer to another unit.” Sonny told him. “But Amanda was recently offered a job as a criminal profiler for the State Troopers and she decided to take it.”
Nick raised his eyebrows a bit but then told him, “I kinda thought Rollins would be around for the long haul and end up taking over for Liv someday. But I don’t know. At the same time l think her leaving to be a profiler actually makes a lot of sense.”
“I think so too.” Sonny said agreeing. “She’s always been interested in diving into the heads of perps.”
He nodded. “It’s a good fit for her.”
They opened the door to the library and made their way in. “Has she told Liv she’s leaving yet?” Nick asked him.
The counselor sighed. “Yeah and it didn’t go over too well. But I think she’s gonna try to smooth things over with her today.”
*******************
Precinct - Monday Afternoon 1:30p
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As Amanda stood just outside of Liv’s office she found herself thinking back to the last interaction the two of them had the Saturday prior, after working an impromptu case together up at a motel in Woodstock, where Noah was visiting with his biological half brother.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
”I am so grateful for you.” Liv said as she plopped down on the motel bed in her room after refilling her cup of wine.
“You did not feel that way when I first came to SVU.” Amanda said as she played with one of the ice cubes in her otherwise untouched cup and then set it down on the nightstand.
“But you were a different person back then.” The Captain told her. “You were icy. Not, icy icy but you wouldn’t let me in. And now you let me in to everything.”
Amanda stayed silent for a minute and then took a breath and exhaled slowly. “I’m leaving.”
Liv laughed. “That’s funny.”
However her demeanor shifted when she saw the serious look on Amanda’s face.
“Over the summer when I spoke at that criminology conference up in White Plains I met the head of the New York State Police’s new Criminal Analysis Division. Which is kind of like the FBI’s BAU. Anyways, he was familiar with our work on the Yates case and a few other big ones. And after hearing me talk about my time at SVU and learning about my educational background I guess he thought I’d make a good profiler. Because he reached out a few days later and offered me a position as one in CAD. I turned him down initially but Carisi and I ran into him last week while out for dinner and he told me that his offer was still on the table.”
“And you’re gonna take it?”
She sighed. “You taught me how to be a good detective—“
“Amanda stop.” Liv said cutting her off. “I didn’t teach you anything. You were already a good detective.”
“You taught me how to love myself. And how to let people in. Like victims. Carisi. You. And…this is hard for me.”
Liv raised an eyebrow at her “This is hard for you?”
The blonde stared into her commanding officer’s eyes. “I made this choice, Liv, and I need you to be OK with it.”
The very visibly upset Captain stood up. “Look Amanda I wasn’t expecting this so I’m gonna need a minute.”
Amanda got up from the bed, picked up her coat and headed to the door.
“Where are you going?”
She pondered what to say and then told her, “To get ice.” Amanda exited the room and slowly closed the door behind her.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Amanda hadn’t spoken to Liv after she “left to get ice” and even though she had the day off she wanted to fix things between them. So she took a big breath and headed inside the Captain’s office.
Liv held up her phone to show Amanda she had been in the process of calling her.
“I’m sorry I left like that.” The detective told her.
“I completely understand.” Liv said as she got up from her seat at her desk. “Amanda I wanted to tell you—“
“You had a right to be upset.”
“No I’m really sorry I reacted like that.” Liv closed her door. “You were being open with me and I shut down.”
“You stole one of my moves.”
The Captain chuckled. “I’m gonna blame the boxed wine.”
Amanda gave her a smile. “Good idea.”
Liv blinked back the tears that had begun to well up in her eyes. “So a profiler, huh?”
She nodded. “Technically I’ll be a criminal analyst but yeah. It’s not something I had considered before but the more I thought about it the more I realized it’s right up my alley. It’s also a job that’ll keep me in this realm but mostly off the streets. Which at this stage of my life I want.”
“You want to do something less dangerous that will allow you to make it home to Carisi and the girls every night.” The Captain concluded. “And let you spend more time with them.”
She nodded. “I just think it’s time I step back and focus on making more memories with my family. While I can for as long as I can. Because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. For those whose job requires them to take the kind of risks I’ve taken these past ten years, especially, but for anyone.”
“It isn’t.” Liv acknowledged. She took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and asked, “When do you start?”
Amanda ran a hand through her hair. “I have a four week training in Albany that starts in the beginning of February. And since it’s too far to drive back and forth everyday I’ll need to stay up there. It sucks that I’m gonna have to spend that much time away from Carisi and the girls but I’m going to come home on Friday evenings and stay the whole weekend. So I’ll only really be gone for four days at a time. Which makes me feel better about it all.”
Liv nodded. “And during those four day stretches Carisi will be on solo dad duty.”
Amanda smiled softly. “Yeah. Grandma and Nonna are ready to swoop in if needed but I know he can handle things.”
“He can and will.”
The Captain did her best to stay composed but Amanda could sense her sadness because she felt the same way.
“You’re not losing me.” She reassured.
“Well we won’t see each other everyday.” Liv pointed out.
“But we’re friends.” Amanda reminded her soon to be former boss. “That’s not gonna change. I’m not gonna disappear.”
“I wouldn’t let you if you tried.” Liv sighed. “I know you have to to do this.”
Amanda began to grow teary eyed and nodded. “I have to try.”
“And if you ever wanna come back you can.” Liv told her. “But you were always destined to do more than just hang around here as one of my detectives. So I doubt you’ll want to or need to.”
The two women stared quietly at each other for a moment and then embraced.
“I love you Amanda.” The Captain whispered into her ear.
“I love you Liv.”
They eventually broke apart and as Amanda reentered the squad room she was met with cheers.
She hugged Velasco and then made her way over to Fin. “I’m gonna miss you boo.”
The two hugged and as Amanda continued saying her goodbyes to the others in the precinct she locked eyes with Liv, who winked and gave her a big smile.
*******************
Amanda and Sonny’s Apartment - Tuesday Morning 11:30a
*******************
Despite technically being off for the week Sonny was asked by Ms. Maxwell if he could cover for the Organized Crime ADA, who was on vacation out of the country, and draft up a Queen for the Day agreement and then interview an accomplice in a case the task force was working. His boss had been very understanding regarding the situation with the girls and him needing to take last minute time off during that period of time so he agreed to help. However he unfortunately didn’t end up finishing until long after Amanda and the girls had gone to bed. So the couple didn’t have a chance to talk about their day that night.
And the following morning Amanda focused on quietly getting the girls off to school and letting her husband sleep in. Not too long after dropping them off it was time for Sonny to get ready and go have his procedure, which went smoothly.
***
“Want some ice?” Amanda asked as her and Sonny walked into the apartment.
The slow moving counselor shook his head no. “I’m OK for now. Still numb.”
She nodded. “I know you’re not really tired but I think you should still lie down for a while and let your body rest.”
“I think so too.”
They both took off their shoes and coats, which Amanda hung up in a nearby closet. She then followed closely behind as Sonny made his way into their bedroom. As he settled in on the bed she momentarily left the room and re-emerged a few moments later with homemade cards and drawings.
“I told the girls you had a stomach bug and they made these for you this morning before school.”
He shot her a look. “Amanda.”
“Well they needed to be told something. I didn’t want them jumping on you and accidentally kicking you in the junk like they sometimes do.”
Sonny realized his wife had a point. “I definitely don’t want that happening.” He quickly added, “My junk and I thank you.”
Amanda laughed, took a seat beside him, and gave her husband the items.
He grinned as he looked at the drawings; a portrait of him done by Billie and one Jesse did of the whole family together. He then read over Jesse’s card, which said, “Get Well Soon Dad!” and then checked out Billie’s, which had “DaDDy” and hearts drawn all over the outside and her name written on the inside.
“They didn’t have to do all this.” Sonny said as he placed the girls’ cards and drawings down on his nightstand. “But it’s sweet and I’m glad they did.“
She smiled, but then her face slowly turned a bit more serious. “Langan called while you were with the doctor. To give us an update on where things stood with both Jesse and Billie.”
“What he say?”
Amanda sighed. “A date for Jesse’s first adoption hearing still hasn’t been scheduled yet and while we’re fortunately done with hearings for Billie, Langan said her new birth certificate likely won’t be reissued for a while. Because Family Court is backed up and the Department of Health is really understaffed right now.”
Sonny ran a hand through his disheveled hair and began thinking back to his conversation with Nick the day prior and to one he had a little while back with Amanda; when she told him how, despite the issues still looming over their heads, how grateful she was for all they had.
He placed a hand on her thigh. “It’s OK.”
“Really?” She asked, sounding surprised.
Sonny nodded. “I’m dad to the girls. That’s all that matters. I can wait a little longer for the papers saying it. Not having them doesn’t make us any less of a family.”
Amanda gave him a small smile, reached down, and gave him a quick kiss.
The blonde moved on to a new topic. “So do you think Zara liked Fordham?”
“She did.” Sonny told her. “A lot more than NYU. But Amaro said there are two schools out in southern California she also really likes so who knows which one she’ll end up going with.”
“Did you guys have time to catch up?”
Sonny nodded. “Yeah. We had a nice…much needed, on my end, talk.”
Amanda figured if they had a chance to have a real conversation that at least part of it would likely pertain to everything that happened with Billie since Nick too faced a similar situation himself. She thought about asking her husband more about it but then realized that she didn’t need to know the details. Just knowing that whatever was discussed left him feeling content and at peace was all she needed.
“Good I’m glad.”
“How’d it go with Liv?” He asked curiously. “You two OK?”
She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. I mean, she’s still sad about me leaving but I think she knows the time had come for me to take this step. Not only personally but professionally.”
Sonny nodded and moved his hand up to her stomach. “Did you tell her?”
About a week before Christmas, Amanda had a long overdue physical and it was then she found out she was pregnant. Her gyno later estimated the date of conception and it turned out to be a couple of days before she had taken her pregnancy test back in October. Too early for it to have been picked up. Which is why it came back negative.
Because of the stress she had been under as a result of the car accident, Billie’s surgeries, the paternity situation and then the suit, Amanda hadn’t noticed her period had gone MIA until she was asked about it. So the news was a bit of a shock.
Aside from a glass of champagne at her and Sonny’s reception, she hadn’t been drinking. Not even at Jesse’s impromptu birthday dinner at his parents house because of a headache she had. But Amanda was still concerned her one glass may have caused issues. That along with the fact that she had continued taking her birth control; albeit sporadically in the same way that likely led to her getting pregnant. But thankfully an ultrasound showed all was well with the baby.
“No I didn’t say anything yet.” Amanda told him. “It’s still kind of early so I think we should wait a bit longer.”
Sonny looked up at her. “A pregnancy was somethin’ we were taking steps to ensure didn’t happen. Which is why I scheduled my vasectomy back in November. Before we knew. But you’re really OK with how everything’s panned out, right?” He asked, seeking confirmation. “I know you said you were but I just want to—“
“I am.” The blonde said, cutting him off. She then gently placed her left hand over his. “The reason I originally wasn’t too keen on the idea back in October was because I didn’t think we were up for this at our age and with everything we had going on work wise and with the girls. But if we were able to get through all that’s been thrown at us these past few months, I know we can handle anything.“
“We can.” He confirmed.
“Babies are blessings.” Amanda told him. “And I won’t be taking any of the blessings life’s given me for granted.”
The couple smiled softly at each other.
“But our bank accounts can only handle so many blessings.” She added. “So I’m still really happy you got the vasectomy.”
Sonny removed his hand from her stomach and chuckled. “Same.”
The counselor then changed the subject slightly. “So do you think Liv will ever put two and two together?”
“About what?” Amanda asked curiously.
He laughed. “That you just faked like you were drinkin’ when you two were in that motel room and that she alone drank close to half of that box of boxed wine?”
The blonde cringed, but then laughed. “God, I don’t know. I hope not.”
Amanda then stared deeply into his eyes. “I know the medication you were given haven’t completely worn off yet but are you sure you don’t want ice?” She asked suggestively. “I can hold it for you if you’re feeling too weak to do it.”
Sonny raised his brows. “Oh yeah?”
She grinned and nodded.
“Well if you’ll hold it for me then I think I’ll take some ice.” He said smiling.
Amanda got up. “Be right back.”
She headed out of the room toward the kitchen and returned a couple minutes later with an ice pack.
The blonde slid back onto the bed next to her husband, slowly brought the ice pack in between his groin and gently held it there. “How’s that feel?”
He smiled with his eyes. “Much better.”
Sonny wrapped his arm around Amanda as she curled up closer to him and made herself comfortable.
*******************
February
Outside Amanda and Sonny’s Apartment - Sunday Afternoon 2:00p
*******************
“You sure you have everything?” Sonny asked his wife as he placed her suitcase in the trunk and closed it.
Amanda playfully rolled her eyes. “For the fifth time now, yes. Besides if I did happen to forget something I need I can always go to a Target or another store to buy it. I’m going to Albany, Sonny, not Siberia.”
She bent down and as she extended her arms out the girls came running to her.
“I love you and I’m gonna miss you.” She gave them each a kiss and a big hug. “Be good, OK? I’ll see you in few days.”
Jesse and Billie nodded.
Amanda stood up and turned her attention to her husband. “If you need me, call. Anytime. I’m in training, but it’s not like the academy. I can step away to—“
“We’ll be fine.” Sonny reassured.
“Daddy will take good care of us.” Billie told her very matter of factly.
Amanda nodded at her daughter. “I know he will baby.”
She brought her gaze back to Sonny and the couple hugged.
“Call me when you get there.” He told her.
“I will.” She promised.
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Neither wanted to let go of the other but they eventually did and after one last kiss Amanda made her way to the driver’s side of her car and got in.
She started up her SUV, waved goodbye to her family and then drove off.
Sonny and the girls stood watching for a while. He then scooped Billie up and took Jesse by the hand. “Alright girls. What should the three of us do this afternoon?”
Jesse pondered for a moment and then asked, “Can we have a spa day?”
“Yeah, let’s have a spa day!” Billie yelled out excitedly.
Both girls loved using the pedicure set and nail polish that his family had given Jesse for her birthday so he wasn’t too surprised that’s what they wanted to do. He smiled and nodded. “OK. Spa day it is.”
The trio made their way back inside the apartment building and started walking up the stairs to their second floor unit.
“And no eating the cucumbers Billie.” Jesse admonished her little sister. “They’re supposed to be for our eyes.”
“But I like eating ‘em.” She responded in a very Sonny-esque Staten Island tone that made him chuckle.
“How about I cut up some extra cucumbers for you two to snack on?” Sonny asked as he opened up the door and they all entered inside. “Does that sound good?”
They both grinned and nodded.
He then set Billie down and after everyone took off their winter jackets and boots the girls scurried off to get everything needed for spa day while Sonny headed to the refrigerator to grab the cucumbers.