Chapter Text
Heizou sat in the cell silently, staring at the cold metal bars in front of him. They had given him a blanket, an actually warm one, all because of them saying something about it being too cruel if they left a pregnant omega out in the winter’s harsh wind even if he’s a criminal, a murderer. That day when they barged into his house and brought him away in cuffs, he still remembered the look on Shinobu’s face, the horror that spread across Kazuha’s form.
Maybe he was being cruel, too cruel to Kazuha. To think that he willingly submitted himself to the Tenryou Commission, to think that he did so without care for what his husband would feel about losing him completely. Perhaps, the evil will be like that till the end.
It’s ironic, how he used to chase for freedom as a teen, from a child, yet after he met Kazuha he thought that he was the freedom he wanted, to deny that death isn’t the freedom he wants, yet right now, it seems to be. To be suffering so much through all those years and still come back to this answer, he couldn’t help but scoff at how life likes to screw him over, but then again, he was the one to blame. He was the only reason he now sits in this very cell, waiting for the day the death sentence is granted upon him.
“Mr. Kaedehara, you have visitors,” the doushin guarding his cell said, it brought him back to reality, even if he didn’t want to admit it, he had to say he’s losing his sanity the longer he remained caged.
He didn’t have to look at who it was to know that it’s Kazuha, he’s still on his special diet due to certain conditions, and apparently the Tenryou Commission couldn’t give him what he needed, so the blonde would usually just cook for him and bring it to his cell. Madam Kujou allowed it, maybe it was out of pity, maybe it was because he’s going to die anyway. Whatever the reason is, he just knew that the only reason they’re keeping him alive for now, is all because of this child he’s carrying. He didn’t want to imagine what would happen to himself once the child is finally born…
“Zou,” Kazuha called his name as he entered the cell room, his anemo Vision was taken away from him as usual to prevent him from doing anything freaky. In his hands was the usual lunchbox he’d bring, wrapped nicely, perhaps too nice for someone like Heizou. The redhead slowly looked at him, his eyes slowly blinking, as if questioning why he even bothered to care about him after all this suffering he had put him through.
The blonde sat down beside him, he knew the doushin outside was watching them, but he could care less. He slowly unpacked the things he brought, laying them on the ground. They did all of that in silence, it has always been like that.
Kazuha’s hands moved around the stuff swiftly, not looking at the other as he opened the lunchboxes and took out the utensils.
“Are you mad…?” The blonde’s ears perked up at the way the other suddenly started speaking out of nowhere, it was the first time Heizou had said anything since he was thrown into the cell. Kazuha did not reply, he was almost speechless at that. He couldn’t say that he would choose to have Heizou locked up if he had a choice.
“No, not really,” he replied flatly, “if I was I wouldn’t be here, would I?”
“...You think I’m selfish, right, Kazu…?” Heizou paused before he started speaking again.
Kazuha stopped whatever he was doing at that moment, his hands froze in place at the other’s question. He sighed. “I understand why you picked this choice…but that doesn’t mean I have to like it…” The redhead’s chest heaved at his reply.
“Right.”
A pause.
A sigh.
A broken heart.
"Why are you still here…?" Heizou muttered, grabbing the chopsticks, "I mean…why are you still tolerating my horrible choices that have no care for you?"
A loud sound of the chopsticks being slammed onto the lunchbox, Heizou didn't even need to look at his husband to know that his face had turned a few shades darker. He gulped, he shouldn't have said that, shouldn't have asked questions like that. He was in no position to question Kazuha's choices when he had his own fair share of bad choices. One which made him end up here.
"I care," Kazuha replied flatly, "don't you dare tell me otherwise," he wasn't even looking at him as he picked up his chopsticks again, grabbing a piece of fish from the partitioned lunch boxes, shoving it in his mouth aggressively as he chewed.
His chest heaved.
"...I love you," Heizou mumbled softly under his breath. It was quiet, genuine, soft but loud enough for Kazuha to hear him.
"Stop talking nonsense and eat," Kazuha shoved a big round rice bun into his hands, avoiding his gaze by lowering his head as he ate.
Heizou's eyes widened at the little pastry in his hands, through the thin fabric around the bun, he felt the warmth of the bun around his cold hands. It felt like a replacement for the warmth Kazuha couldn't give him right now, a tiny little match of fire that shivers ever so lightly in the winter. A soft smile unconsciously spreaded across the redhead's face, he looked at the blonde from the corner of his eye.
Even if Kazuha tried to not care, he'll still give him these small little signs that betray his intentions. And Heizou prays that he'll be like this, he needs those tiny signs…
He bit down the rice bun, the familiar flavors came back to him, even if it was just a few months ago, it felt like a reminiscence of a few years. Perhaps it's the feeling, not the existence of the object itself. The feeling of Kazuha's love, it's warm, it's comforting, it's everything he has ever needed.
"I'm sorry…"
It's also everything he'll lose.
“I’ll shut up…”
____________
"Why suddenly invite me for a drink, 'zuha?" Beidou looked at the blonde, she was certainly worried, ever since that day she told him about everything, Ningguang's initial plans and whatnot, followed by the news of a death sentence on his husband, things just won't be the same. Kazuha did not reply, downing another plate of wine in one go instead. His eyes seemed to be in a daze, Beidou felt as if he had returned to his past self, the time where he was helpless when his family was suffering because of him.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Beidou asked again as she noticed his lack of response.
Kazuha grabbed the wine bottle with a shaky hand, he paused as he gripped it, his knuckles turning white as if he wanted to break through the glass by force. His body trembled, his eyes menacingly staring into the table. He looked as if tears could fall at any moment.
“...’zuha–”
The glass broke.
Beidou’s pupils shrunk, “Kazuha!!”
“What were you thinking?!” She stood up from her seat, reaching for his hand, his usual scarred right hand that was in bandages, now stained in his blood. The wine spilled on the ground, glass shards big and small scattered around him, the glass bottle was left with its top part still being gripped tightly in his hand. She grabbed his wrist, he seemed to intend to attempt breaking the glass again. “Are you crazy?!”
“Kazuha!” Beidou cried out his name, the desperation in her voice, there was fear, care, worry and love. He struggled in her grasp, trying to break free from her restraints. He desperately tried to shake her off his body, he was completely gone, this wasn’t the usual calm boy she knew. “Stop this–”
“Shut up!!” Kazuha yelled at her, his red eyes glaring at her with anger. Those bloodshot eyes, the tears on his face were evident. Her grip on him softens a little in surprise, but not enough for him to break free. Those two words still echoed in Beidou’s ears, it was loud, clear, it hurt. All that was left undone was him drawing his sword and putting it at her throat.
But she knew that anger wasn’t for her, it was for the world, for this cruel fate bestowed upon him. Yet it still hurt a little, she couldn’t lie, the pain was there, the damage was done. It felt helpless.
____________
Heizou has been living in the cell for a week or two now, he didn’t know exactly how long, he has lost track of time. Ever since that day they had their first conversation, Kazuha just stopped visiting him, the homemade lunch boxes would still be delivered to him, by Shinobu. But every time she comes to visit him, she only apologizes, nothing more, nothing less.
“If only I hadn’t brought the files to Watatsumi…”
Yeah, if only.
But would things really be better if she hadn’t done so? Nobody knows.
Heizou simply ate as she talked about the possibility that, if she had done something else, what would the future be. Yet all Heizou could think of was how to live this future, he couldn’t stay pregnant forever. He can’t stay alive for long now.
Kazuha made rice buns again.
To him, the days where the blonde makes rice buns, are the happiest days for him. Despite Kazuha refusing to come and visit him face to face, the little notes he wraps in the buns made up for it. Perhaps it’s better like that, Heizou wouldn’t be able to handle meeting him every day, seeing him sad and hurt because of his own selfish decisions.
Always thinking about others, huh, Kazu?
Heizou smiled, letting out a soft quiet chuckle.
“What’s so funny?” Shinobu asked, raising a brow. She didn’t look happy, nor sad, it’s weird, perhaps it’s the way she respects his decision, staying like that, bothered yet unbothered either.
“Nothing…” He replied softly, biting a huge portion out of the bun again. Every bite just feels like a dream, a luxury he shouldn’t have. Maybe he really doesn’t deserve Kazuha’s love. The warm feeling in his hands, in his chest, deep in his heart, in his veins. Something he shouldn’t have… He choked.
“Hey, eat properly, I know you like it but still…” Shinobu patted his back as he coughed.
“...” He continued to chew, slowly, savoring the taste, always wondering if when will be the last time he gets to taste the flavor of Kazuha’s rice buns. He sniffled, biting another big portion of the bun to stop his tears, but even idiots know that it won’t help. His vision started to blur, the tears refused to fall. He chewed aggressively, as if trying to force the last of the taste out of it, perhaps trying to find the love his husband hides between the fibers.
“I care,” Kazuha’s words resurfaced.
As soon as he swallowed the bile, he instantly bit down another, he didn’t want that feeling to stop. He wanted that warmth to continue to wrap him in its arms. He tasted something salty in his bun, he didn’t care, even if his tears soaked the bun, he’ll eat it. The drops of salty liquid created a fresh clear sound as it came into contact with the parchment paper.
“I know…”
I know you care…
Heizou shuttered slightly, his eyes widening slightly as he mouth stopped, froze in place. There was an uncomfortable pain in his abdomen moments ago. Shinobu didn’t seem to notice the change in his expression. “So…when are you due…?” There was a clear shake in her voice, a tremor, hesitance, all because that question was equivalent to asking him when will he forever be gone from this world.
He gulped.
“If my intuition doesn’t fail me…not long…” His lips curled into a bitter smile, staring at the half-eaten bun, tiny blobs of dark areas on the surface of it. Evidence of his tears. “I’ll soon be gone…”
“Visiting time’s over.”
Shinobu stood up, yet it was apparent that she didn’t want to leave yet. How can she leave without worries when Heizou left her with that reply? His intuition never fails him. She stopped in her tracks, looking into his eyes, her legs refusing to move an inch. He was going to die. Even though she had known that it’d come sooner or later, she had already accepted that reality, but still–
“I understand why you picked this choice…but that doesn’t mean I have to like it…”
Heizou smiled at her, perhaps it’s the last thing he could do for her, the only thing he could do to soothe the pain he caused her. Her hands gripped tighter on the empty lunchbox, it’s difficult to think that this might as well be the last time she’d see him. Her best friend.
She twisted on her heel, dropping onto her knees in front of him as she lunged forward. Her arms wrapped around him ever so tightly. The last time she hugged him this tight, was when he first confessed to her that he had murdered someone. His hands were stained with someone's blood as his face smudged with red, but that was that time, this time the one who was comforting the other was him. His hands slowly traced behind her back, softly patting her back as she sobbed.
The tears dripped and wet his shoulders, yet he couldn’t complain. Not when his heart hurts even more knowing he was the cause of this. “I love you, always, forever, I’ll always be your friend,” she choked out as she cried.
The doushin banged his armored arm on the iron bars, as if to make a point that she has to leave. It felt like the midnight bell had rang.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered between soft hiccups.
“Goodbye,” he blurted out, he didn’t know why, he just felt like he had to say it. Perhaps his intuition was right afterall.
Maybe in another life, I’ll be a better friend…
____________
The night has fallen, it’s been hours since Shinobu had left. The soft moonlight shined into his cell from the small window on the top. The dust flew in front of his eyes in the light, he couldn’t sleep, the moonlight felt like lights from heaven to him. The night’s colder that day for some reason, he wrapped himself tighter in the blankets. He didn’t finish the bun, the half-eaten bun lying at the corner of the cell, beside him, wrapped neatly in the parchment paper.
Perhaps he wanted to leave a part of Kazuha with him, though there’s a bigger part of the blonde within him. The tip of his fingers caressed the surface of the bun gently, it’s cold, probably from the cold winds of the winter.
He grabbed the bun, warming it with his hands, though his fingers seemed to tremble more.
He pondered upon how Kazuha will continue to live without him, probably with this child he’s currently carrying. There’s no envy, no sadness, no jealousy, just love and hope. He prays that they will live a happy life together even without him, hope that Kazuha’s love will be enough for this child, and wish that this child could ease the pain of losing him even just a little bit.
“A bit deep into thought, eh?” A voice whispered to him, making him instantly look around for the source of the sound. Yet then, chills ran down his spine when he realized who that voice belonged to.
“What do you want now, Oiwa…?” He sighed, there was no fear now, just confusion and perhaps a feeling equivalent to someone who’s giving up. Soft giggles can be heard from her, but there was no sight of her anywhere, in or out of the cell.
“Why do you think I always want something from you? Do you really think that badly of me?” She chuckled.
“You don’t really give off good impressions,” he replied flatly.
“Hm, I see,” she said, warping in front of him. “It makes me wonder if you’d accept my help right now.”
“What are you? Fairy godmother?”
“To you, maybe,” she shrugged, “I’m kind of responsible for you being here I guess?”
He looked up at her, eyebrows slowly raising. “How so?”
“Remember that samurai that attacked you back in Watatsumi?”
“Yes and?” He wanted to question how she got that information, but then this is Oiwa he’s talking about, if one’s intelligence is compatible for Ningguang to make a contract with, they’re certainly not one to be underestimated. He’ll just play along with her for now.
“He stole the files, reported you at the Tenshukaku, I’m sure you would’ve figured that he’s a vampire by now, detective?”
“I don’t need a detective title to know that, it’s apparent, so much that I think he wants to make it a point, but what does that have to do with anything?” Heizou still didn’t know what Oiwa was trying to tell him, she’s one to talk in circles.
“I’m sure as a detective you remember all the details of each case you’ve handled, even not, you’ll remember your own cases, so, tell me, you should be able to remember what happened when you killed me,” Oiwa looked at him, her red eyes are intimidating, “there was someone else, isn’t there? Do you remember what they looked like?”
“There was no one other than–” Heizou paused, the memories coming back to him, it’s painful to remember, but it’s clear he couldn’t forget, “there’s a man…”
“Continue, detective,” she grinned.
“…I thought you were alone at home, I calculated everything, recorded your routine and schedule for at least three weeks then, I was expecting you and only you at home…”
“And then?”
“When I finished cleaning the scene…this man just barged into the house, a sword in his hand… he was glaring at me, he looked just like–” Heizou let out a tiny gasp, the man, he looked just exactly like the one who attacked him back at Sangonomiya Shrine. Even his sword was the same one.
“It’s been many years, I’m genuinely impressed you still remember such details, detective… I supposed I won’t play with you anymore, we've got places to go,” she said.
“What do you mean ‘we’, huh?”
“That man, that was my husband, the one who attacked you,” she explained, “he has been asleep for a long time now, he has just been successfully resurrected recently, and apparently he still hasn’t let go of how a certain redhead killed his wife in front of him.”
“Your…husband…? But I thought you liked Kazuha?” Heizou seemed even confused now.
“Hush now, arranged marriages can’t be said to be the best type of relationship to form true love, I admit I have once taken interest in the Kaedehara once, but look where it got me,” she said as if those things were nothing to her, perhaps it’s really nothing to her now, it’s all in the past. “I was once foolish, he was as loyal as he could be, as nice as a husband could be, but sometimes feelings are just like that,” she smiled sadly, sighing, “I want to do something for him.”
“Do…what exactly…?”
“I’ll make this fair, let me kill you,” she blurted out as if it was nothing.
“Excuse you?”
“Perhaps that was too blunt,” she thought, “you’re going to die anyways, so I have a proposal for you.”
“I hope it’s something better than just letting you stab a knife through me.”
“Say, detective, what if I told you, I’ll give a chance to live again? Not exactly the same way, but you can remain in this world.”
“You’re making it sound like you want to turn me into a vampire,” Heizou looked at her.
“Exactly,” she replied.
“I was just joking…”
“...I was being serious, so my proposal, I’ll turn you and you can live happily ever after with your husband, your child whatever,” Oiwa said.
“That’s oddly suspicious, what do you benefit from that?”
“Suspicious, huh? I guess detectives will always be detectives, I get to prove my loyalty to my husband by killing you and making sure that you stay with Kazuha, plus, this is also my revenge.”
“How is this revenge?”
“...Depends on how you view it, mind I remind you that immortality is a curse, by turning you, I am cursing you, tying you to this world, how is that not revenge? But as I said, I’m doing this fairly, whether you view it as a curse, or a blessing, how you will use this opportunity, it depends on you. It could be a chance to start again or a doomed fate of you living in a shell of yourself till the end of time…”
“How are you going to do this?”
“Oh? I see you’re interested in this proposal of mine,” she smiled, “well, I’m not heartless, I’ll help you escape this place, as for that child of yours…we’ll make sure it’s born before I turn you.”
“No matter what you say I can’t help but think that you’re troubling yourself.”
“...Do you accept it or not?”
Heizou thought for a while, surely there was no way he wouldn't benefit from that, but turning? He’d gladly do it, if it means he can start over with Kazuha, watch his child grow, be there for his family. And this…was Oiwa willingly offering to take the guilt for killing him, even if she ended up not turning him, it’ll change nothing. His child is too powerful to die anyways. No matter what happens, it’ll only be better..
“I…accept…”
“Good choice, but I will still warn you, there’s no turning back. We must leave now.”
“Now? Like now now ?” Heizou was a bit caught off guard, perhaps to him things were moving a bit fast.
“Well unless your preferred place for your child to be born is in a cell, then sure, we can stay here,” she mumbled.
“But…I haven’t talked to Kazuha about things yet…”
“...So you rather you talked to him and you’ll never see him again…? Because from what I’ve known of that man, he certainly won’t agree to whatever we’re doing right now, to turn you? He’ll definitely object,” Oiwa explained, a bit impatient.
“It does sound like something Kazuha would do…I won’t be gone for long right…?” Heizou looked at her in worry, the worst case scenario would be Kazuha hurting himself once he finds out he disappeared without a trace.
“I think not, theoretically speaking, your body has already handled the effects of Ningguang’s power transfer, surely it won’t take long for you to wake up after the turning process. So, would you come with me…?” She smiled, holding out her hand for him.
Beyond that grasp was a new chance, a new life, a restart. But it will be unknown, as the future itself is, perhaps that’s the thing about life, give and take, two sides of a coin.
He placed his hand on hers. And that simple moment, fate has changed, the future has changed. Whether towards the good or the bad, everything depends on his future decisions. Perhaps one could say that even a child with sight of both the past and future, such as Hideyoshi himself, won’t be able to predict everything. That is life.
May the future be something to hope for…
____________
“He’s gone,” Kazuha muttered, staring at the sunset as he sat on the deck of the Alcor. That very morning he had decided to go visit Heizou’s cell for a special occasion, he was gone, the cell was empty. All he found was a half-eaten bun in the corner, the note he wrote for the omega being folded neatly. “On our wedding anniversary, even.”
It was winter again, it has been a year. Heizou’s case was closed as a mystery.
“What happened to you, Zou…? Where did you go?” He asked, there was no reply, he was talking to himself. Some part of him wanted to believe that the redhead was still alive, somewhere… If he hasn’t seen him die in front of him, there’s still a chance that he’s not dead yet.
Kazuha twisted the ring on his finger, pulling it out carefully to admire it. The way the orange glow of the sunset glimmers over the jewelry, it’s bittersweet.
“You’re still here, I see…” Beidou stood beside him, “it’s your wedding anniversary today, no?”
“Yeah…” he mumbled softly, sliding the ring back onto his finger, “I wonder how he is now…”
“...Well, you care for a drink? I bought some a few days ago,” she said.
“Don’t want to make him mad on our anniversary, I’ll pass, I think,” Kazuha smiled, “I’ll keep my promise.”
“Alright then,” she shrugged, walking away, “I’ll leave you alone, feel free to join us though.”
The sun sank into the ocean, the moon rose, Kazuha could feel the cold winter breeze in his face as he heard the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. He pulled out a lunch box he prepared earlier, smiling as he opened it. Two huge rice buns sat inside the box, still warm and fresh out of the oven. White smoke could be seen as he opened the box, feeling the warmth of the buns.
“See, Zou…? Your favorite rice buns, I made them for you,” he mumbled, his voice cracking as he spoke. He wasn’t sure if it was the harsh wind in his eyes or what, but he couldn't help the tears trickling down his eyes. “They’re still warm…just like how you like it…”
He sniffled, wiping his tears, trying not to cry. He picked up one of the buns, blowing it slightly, remembering how the redhead used to grab it too fast and scaled himself. “I made two, one for me and one for you…But…you can have both of them…I know you like them a lot…”
“Come home…”
“I made your favorite buns…why won’t you come home…?” He couldn’t hold it anymore, perhaps it was much more painful when he knew there was a possibility that Heizou was still alive, somewhere. “I’m not mad anymore…come home, please…” His tears slowly dripped down onto the buns, the harsh winter winds weren’t nice either, his hands aren’t all that warm. The buns had turned cold…
“Where are you…?”
Where are you, Heizou?
It hurts when you're not here...
“You really should eat them before they turn cold…”
“Huh?” Kazuha blinked, turning behind to find the owner of the voice. He turned his head slowly to face them, wiping away his tears to look more presentable.
“Mama said cold buns won’t be tasty anymore…”
He froze in his spot as his red eyes met another pair of red eyes.
“Don’t you think so, father?”