Chapter Text
Gail had quieted when Logan woke. Her raging winds had died down to angry gusts that occasionally rattled the windows and made the house groan with fatigue. Gray morning light filtered into the tent as Mr. Darcy confessed his love for Miss Elizabeth Bennet in the rain. The movie had, no doubt, ran on repeat throughout the night.
“I love you, most ardently,” Mr. Darcy admitted, “Please do me the honor of accepting my hand,” he requested and Logan exhaled, heavily, and grimaced. It didn’t matter how many times he watched this scene, it made him uncomfortable each time he saw it. Mr. Darcy, while a gentleman in true form, was poor at expressing his feelings. A sentiment that Logan could relate to especially now, though he didn’t dare admit it to anyone but himself.
Logan looked down to Gan, her head resting on his chest, an arm draped across his torso, as Ms. Bennet rejected Mr. Darcy. This was how he’d woken up, her small frame curled against him, her breathing heavy and even as she slept. She was peaceful under the veil of slumber. The furrow of her brow was smoothed, the worry in her shoulders relaxed, and the tight line of her mouth slack and parted. She was beautiful, he thought, now more than he’d ever known her to be.
The sight made his chest ache with an emotion he didn’t want to acknowledge. Acknowledging it meant becoming vulnerable, it meant breaking down every wall he’d ever built to keep himself safe and it terrified him. She terrified him. Gan Ainm could ask him for the moon and he knew he’d do anything he could to bring it to her. His only saving grace was that she didn’t know she could ask him for the moon. She didn’t know that she could bring him to his knees with a single look. She didn’t know that he would break every rule, self-imposed or otherwise, for her without hesitation. She didn’t know. Her ignorance of his feelings was something he planned on maintaining.
Mr. Darcy was at the Collins’ house now, delivering a letter to Miss Bennet, as Logan coiled one of Gan’s ringlets around his index finger. He wrapped it around his digit until no more loops would fit and he pulled the fine auburn, curl off his finger then found another, nearly perfect, spiral, and repeated the act. Her hair had gotten longer since the summer, down past her waist, and had grown so fast it had almost seemed like magic. It was soft, just as he’d imagined it would be, and it was nearly all he could do to keep from threading the fullness of his hand into it. Touching it, as simply as he was now, nearly felt like an invasion of her person. He did reason, however, that he was likely in the clear considering he’d become her personal heater. At least, that’s what Logan thought he’d become. He still wasn’t sure of all the details of her curse but he wasn’t sure he cared all that much right now.
She shifted against him and he worried that he might have roused her, but she settled against his chest again. A damp place where her slightly parted mouth had been, darkened the fabric of his shirt. Logan nearly laughed but was cut short when Gan inhaled deeply and knotted her fingers into his shirt and hugged him closer. His heart leaped, twisted violently in his chest, and he held his breath for a beat and then exhaled. Logan forced himself to focus on the movie and the drama unfolding between two unsuspecting lovers.
He was half asleep when his phone began to vibrate in the pocket near his head. He fished it out of the net, partly tangled in the cord that was connected to a battery, and looked down at the screen. Cody’s happy visage stared up at him and Logan swiped to answer the call.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked in a low voice, trying not to disturb Gan.
“Hey, just calling in to see how you were doing. Saw on the news that the power was still out in our district. How’s the generator holding up?” he asked and Logan relaxed back against the pillow behind him with a sigh.
“No generator… I forgot to get fuel for it. Gan and I have been huddled in a tent upstairs keeping warm,” he said, absently rubbing Gan’s side as he frowned. A long silence followed the statement and, for a moment, Logan thought that the call had dropped.
“Are you two okay?” Cody asked, more concern laced his voice this time.
“Yes, for now, it’s definitely cold in here but the house is well insulated. I’m more worried about the pipes-”
“Logan, forget the pipes you’re sick and now you have no heat? It’s in the negatives outside. That generator should have been made ready at the start of winter-”
“Cody, it's fine. We’re fine. I’m sure the power will be on soon. How about you and dad?” Logan asked, redirecting his brother though he understood his siblings' fear. Their lack of heat was something that had lingered in the back of his mind as well.
“We have power, only lost it for a few hours yesterday before it was back on. We’re both a bit bored but that’s it. They’re working on opening the highway again. Dad and I plan on leaving as soon as we can, hopefully, tomorrow,” Cody relayed. Silence fell between them again and Logan sorted through a wave of thoughts that flooded him. Cody seemed to be doing the same.
“Thank you for sending someone to check on me,” Logan finally admitted.
“I’m only sorry I couldn’t send Molland,” Cody chuckled on the other end.
“No, don’t be… I think-”
“I sent the right person, didn’t I?”
“Yes.”
“I get it right sometimes.”
“Sometimes.”
“Stay warm, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Drive safely, delay if you need to,” Logan said, then ended the call. He turned to replace the phone in the mesh pocket, Gan shifted against him and mumbled something incoherent before she shot upright. Her hair, tangled hopelessly in Logan’s watch, halted her with a harsh tug and Logan floundered to sit upright.
“Ouch, my hair, my hair,” Gan bowed awkwardly as Logan leaned in to try and free himself from her snare.
“Hold still,” he ordered without thinking as he pulled her auburn locks from his Garmin watch band. She stilled herself, her head bowed toward him, and he was finally able to work unhindered.
“Was I… was I sleeping on you?” she asked after a moment of heavy silence. Logan hesitated.
“Yes,” he replied, and pulled away from her, wrist free of her hair, and looked down at her. He could see her breath in the chilled hair of the tent, her nose ruddy from the cold and he wondered if he looked the same.
“Why didn’t you…” she shook her head, searching for words that he didn’t have. “I was sleeping on your chest and you just let me?” she questioned, a shiver ran up her back and he clenched his jaw against his own convulsion. Logan realized that she had been his heater, not the other way around.
“Gan, it’s not like we have much room in here despite your stature,” he countered and reached forward to touch the tent wall behind her. She frowned. Point taken. The jab at her height wasn’t lost on her either, though she was slow on the uptake as she opened her mouth, brows knitted in disbelief at his sharp tongue. Logan readied himself for the backlash he deserved. Then her eyes fell to his chest and he followed her gaze.
“Oh, gods below, and I drooled on you too,” she groaned and pressed her face into her hands, embarrassed. Logan chuckled and grinned at her expense and the delight of avoiding her verbal lashing.
“We'll call it even... you've seen me at nearly my worst. Wearing your drool is the least I can do,” he assured her and she dared to look up at him.
“That hardly seems like an even exchange,” she grumbled and then laid back down, pulling the down blanket up to her chin. “Still, I’ll take it,” she admitted, and Logan grinned as he grabbed the iPad from the hammock above them, then turned it off. The battery was low, he’d let it charge from the battery pack for a while.
Gan yawned beside him as he settled in next to her. He exhaled, heavily, feeling somewhat awkward now that they were both awake. Last night had been different, the movie had distracted him, and Gan had fallen asleep rather quickly. He’d drifted off in the middle of watching Mission Impossible only to wake with the sun and Gan sleeping curled up with him.
“How many backpacking trips have you taken this tent on?” she asked, and Logan glanced over at her. Her eyes roamed the interior of the white REI shelter.
“Roughly five; Cody and I actually prefer to hammock camp when we can. It’s lighter… and less cramped,” he said, as he too looked around and saw memories rather than synthetic canvas.
“What’s the worst trip you’ve ever taken?” she asked, and Logan paused for a moment, rifling through the dozens of treks he’d done over the years.
“I once went to North Carolina to visit a friend I’d met through flying, an older guy who’d done some work on my plane. He had some camping equipment he wanted to get rid of so I thought I’d fly down and check it out. I’d never flown in mountainous terrain so it was worth the hours on two romeo romeo,” Logan paused and looked to Gan who was watching him tell his tale. “This is a bit of a long story,” he offered, and she shrugged.
“It’s not like we’re doing anything else,” she shrugged, and he nodded. Logan wove a tale of misguided mistakes, poor planning, and endless endurance. Gan listened with rapt attention, asking questions, expressing concern when he mentioned hypothermia, and laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
“So, let me get this straight. You went nearly two days with next to no water, barely ate for three, your knee was hurting, you had no winter coat, just bare minimum winter layers, your boots were also frozen, and to top it all off you split the party. You never split the party, Logan,” Logan nodded.
“I know, you never split the party,” he grinned. “Commissary Ridge, for the record, while nicely maintained and even, was the worst part. There was no shelter from the wind and all the water that Shelton had talked about could be found on the trail, frozen, in large sheets of ice. The wind would cut down the mountain and I might as well have been naked for all the good any of my thin layers did. All I could do was put one foot in front of the other and walk. Then, finally, I saw a Ranger’s truck. Gan, I have never been more thankful to see a white Dodge in all of my life. I had made it,” he exhaled in relief, feeling the weight of the story lift from his chest as if he’d relived the whole ordeal over again.
“Geeze, Logan, I can’t believe you made it through that,” Gan exhaled and pulled the blanket tight under her chin. “What happened with your knee and where was Cody during all of this?”
“Oh, I sprained my knee but I didn’t know that until I’d flown back home and Cody was here, in Minnesota,” Logan shrugged.
“You flew with a sprained knee? Logan, are you serious?” Gan balked and Logan chuckled.
“It’s not like I knew it was sprained. When it was still hurting after the first week I thought I should have it looked at. I think I sprained it on the first day of the hike,” he shrugged.
“Don’t shrug that off, you madman,” Gan shoved his shoulder in gest before she settled back down. “Wow, what a trip though. Shelton seems like a character,” she remarked.
“He is and I think we work well backpacking. While he never stopped talking he was always encouraging. Never negative and always spurred me to keep going. I think it was because he knew I was in pain and sick and young on top of it,” Logan said, and then rolled on his side to face her.
“Young?” she prodded.
“I was eighteen,” he said, and pulled the blanket up to his chin as she had.
“Your dad allowed you to fly a plane across the country from Minnesota to North Carolina when you were only eighteen?” Gan’s voice implied disbelief.
“Gan, I’ve been flying airplanes since I was thirteen,” she blinked up at him. “You can start flight training at thirteen, do your solos, and take your flight exam when you’re sixteen. I did my first solo on my sixteenth birthday, my solo cross-country the day after, and then the week after that I took my exam and was given my private pilot’s certificate. I’ve been flying for eight years,” he stated and this seemed to baffle her more than his story did.
“Logan Garriford, you really are full of surprises,” she laughed and rolled onto her back.
“Something like that,” he grinned, then stifled a yawn, and briefly closed his eyes.
“Still tired?” she asked, her tone changing to the warm, concerned, tone it had been yesterday when she’d been caring for him.
“Yeah, but I’ve been up for a while,” he admitted, then pried his eyes open to look at her. She was sitting up on her elbows looking down at him, the change in her posture made his stomach twist. There was a question in her eyes, one that begged to be spoken, and he wondered if she would voice it.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, and it truly wasn’t what he thought she’d propose.
“Uh… much better, actually. Still a little run-down but far from the trainwreck I was when you first arrived,” he admitted, though this was only partly true. He still felt like a trainwreck. Probably looked like one too while sporting a bedhead. Logan ran a hand through his hair. “How are you feeling? You slept pretty hard,” he inquired, and Gan laid down and pressed her face into the pillow. She exhaled a long, low, groan of exasperation. “That bad?” Gan turned her face toward him and frowned.
“No… I’m just taking a page out of Laryissa’s book and expressing myself with a few more theatrics than what’s necessary,” she grinned, and the sight of her smile made Logan’s ears burn. “I did sleep well,” she said, and looked down at her hands, twiddled with her nails, and her smile faded though it never left her eyes. “I had a dream,” she hummed and glanced at him before looking forward and squinting as if she could see the conjured memory beyond the walls of the tent.
“What was it about?” Logan asked, curiosity pulled him closer to her.
“Flying of all things,” her laugh made his chest tighten. “Would it be weird if I said you were there?” she asked, nose scrunched up with an embarrassed grin that provoked a smile of his own.
“No, it makes sense. We do fly just about every week,” he chuckled.
“That’s true, but the dream was mostly of us flying around, buzzing the clouds, but I don’t remember many details. It’s all kind of fading,” she sighed, then laid down on her side to face him.
“You know, I’m still surprised you like flying as much as you do. You sure I can’t convince you to learn to fly? I hear Miss Lane has an opening for a student,” he teased, Gan laughed and shook her head.
“No, but I have been thinking more about your suggestion on learning to land. Maybe I’ll get up to soloing and then call it good,” she confessed.
“That would be a safe idea. Hey, I could increase the insurance on two romeo romeo so she could teach you to land from the back of a taildragger too. Since you mostly fly with me,” he offered and she nodded.
“The implications of needing to learn to land are kind of frightening, you know?” a frown tugged at her lips and he fought the desire to reach out and touch her, to comfort her, but he understood the feeling. If she were landing that meant he was no longer capable of doing so which translated to illness or injury on his part.
“Think of it as a safety redundancy, another layer of protection,” he offered but, judging by her reaction it wasn’t helping. “You know, if you went ahead and finished your training I’d be able to take naps on our longer cross-country flights,” he teased and she shot him a look but couldn’t mask the hint of a smile that lit her features.
“One step at a time there, Mr. Garriford. Let me learn to land first,” she said and Logan chuckled at his own zealous ambition.
“I’ll ask you again once you’ve soloed,” and Gan shook her head just as a shiver ran up her spine. “Cold?” He asked, though the answer seemed obvious. He could feel the chill of the room slipping through the downy blankets. It wasn’t reassuring.
“I am,” Gan tucked herself deeper into the blankets and Logan felt his stomach knot at his own thoughts. He struggled for a moment, to find the words, to phrase his proposal without making it sound awkward.
“You know, on average, smaller women lose body heat faster than the average man,” Logan offered, finally finding his tongue, as he rolled onto his back.
“Are you making a jab at my height again?” Gan lifted a brow, a silent threat.
“Not at all,” a half lie.
“Good, you don’t have a drool stain to save you this time,” she grinned, then pursed her lips in contemplation. “You said that body heat was best for combating the cold in situations like this,” a brow lifted in his direction and he nodded.
“I did.”
“So, I should get closer,” the statement was pointed, her eyes meeting his with startling intensity. She had wanted what he had wanted. Logan opened his arms, an invitation, and she accepted.
Gan’s weight on his chest released tension in his body that he wasn’t aware he’d been carrying. A gentle wave of calm overcame him as she settled onto his chest and he drew the down blanket up over her shoulders. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and held her as close as he dared. Her soft sigh comforted him and he knew, in that moment, he’d never be the same. There would never be another person like her in his life and he knew she would wound him beyond recovery should she ever leave. If she ever learned, even an inkling, of how much power she had over him, his days would be numbered. She would be the death of him.
He wasn’t aware that he’d fallen asleep until he was waking up again. The world came into sharp focus and the haze of sleep was quickly blinked away when he realized that Gan was missing.
“Gan?” he called, as he sat up from the blankets, and leaned to zip open the tent. “Gan?” and once more his call went unanswered. The midday sun, bright behind the storm clouds, illuminated the room and highlighted his breath. Power was still absent and he looked down to his watch. Fourteen twenty-three ticked over on the black digital face. Had he really slept that long? He stood up from the floor and stretched before he walked over to the window and peered out. Several feet of snow obscured the ground and he looked out to the storage building in the backyard and hoped it wouldn’t collapse under the weight of the precipitation.
“Hey,” Logan turned to see Gan standing at the open door to the room. “Sorry, um, your neighbor's son, Rodney, I guess it was? He came to the door and was checking in on you,” she said, and he noticed a package in her hands. “Oh, this was something she sent over,” Gan approached him and offered up the container. Logan took it and opened it revealing a divine sweet. He would never admit it, but Miss Irene, his neighbor, made the only dessert he liked. Scotcheroos. They were his unspoken weakness and whenever she sent some over to the house it was all he could do to control himself around them. “I told him you were doing well and that you were just getting over the flu,” she explained and Logan nodded. He wanted so badly to eat one but he was still apprehensive regarding his stomach.
“How are they doing?” Logan asked and closed the container before handing it back to Gan.
“Good, he said they had a small generator they’ve been using but said he wasn’t sure how long it would last. Said it was just old and he didn’t trust it,” she explained as she opened back up the tent and slipped under the blankets again. Logan joined her and, once more, they hunkered down into the warmth their small shelter provided. “He mentioned he was going to take Ms. Irene to his home as soon as he could. He offered a ride if I needed it but I told him I’d been around you and didn’t want to spread anything,” Gan finished once she was under the blankets. Logan considered this. It was true that it’d crossed his mind she’d get sick as well but he couldn’t bring himself to turn down her help more than he already had. That and knowing she’d spent the time coming across the city - it almost felt insulting to make her go home right away. Inwardly, beyond it all, he was thankful he wasn’t alone.
“It’s not snowing as much,” Logan said as he climbed under the blankets with Gan.
“Rodney said they’ve plowed the main street but I’d imagine it’ll be a while before they get to a neighborhood road,” Gan commented and Logan nodded as both of them settled back in to watch another movie while they waited for the power to return.
The power returned just as the end credits of “It’s a Wonderful Life” began to roll. A rush of relief filled Logan along with a sort of despondent feeling he wasn’t sure where to place. Gan sat up from where she’d been lying next to him and the lingering cold of the room settled in where she’d once been. The sound of the News Anchors filtered up from the living room and Logan reached to check his phone just as a knock at the door resounded up from the main floor. Logan sat up.
“Who could that be?” Gan asked, and Logan shrugged.
His breath was visible in the cold air as he descended the stairs and then peered through the peephole of the door. He unlocked it and opened the entrance.
“Molland,” Logan exhaled and stepped aside so the older man could enter.
“Thank you,” Molland said, as he entered. “I’m glad to see you’re doing well,” he said, with a smile and then he turned to look at Gan. The smile on his bearded face faltered, for only a moment, but it was enough for Logan to notice. “I don’t think I realized Gan was here,” he said, and Logan felt heat touch his ears as he looked down at Gan. She looked disheveled and flushed standing there in his clothes. Realization sank into Logan’s gut like a hot, uncomfortable, coal.
“She came over to check on me,” Logan said, “I’ve been sick and didn’t notice my phone had died so Cody asked her to come over. The storm set in and she was snowed in,” he explained, and Molland nodded. Logan wasn’t convinced the older man believed him but he didn’t push the subject.
“I see… well then, I came to check in on you since you didn’t answer any of my texts or calls,” he said, and Logan reached into his pocket for his phone.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get anything from you,” he said, and pulled up the call history to show Molland. Molland frowned and shook his head.
“No matter, I’m here now. Your power is on but the house is cold, is your heat not working?” he asked, and held his hand out to a ceiling vent that was blowing warm air.
“The power only just came back on,” Logan explained, and Gan nodded. “I’d imagine it’ll be a while before it was warm again,” he said, and Molland nodded. “You’re welcome to come over to my place until the worst of this has blown over. In the meantime, Gan, would you like a ride home? I’m headed over to that side of town to check in on some other friends. I could give you a lift,” he said, and Logan looked down at Gan.
“Yes, I’d like that,” she said, and Logan would have been lying to himself if he hadn’t wished she would stay. He didn’t blame her though, she’d been here more than long enough. “Let me go get my things,” she said, and dashed up the stairs. Once she was gone Molland leveled his eyes with Logan’s.
“Your father-”
“Please, Molland, don’t tell him,” Logan interrupted, placing a hand on Molland’s shoulder. “It’s bad enough he worries over Cody and Felicity… and I know he’s distrustful of Gan at best. I beg you, let this be our secret,” he asked, and Molland held his gaze for longer than was comfortable.
“Your father will be here before long. They left early… you might want to reset your phone,” the older man suggested, and then reached up and covered Logan’s hand with his own. The tension in Logan’s back eased a fraction just as Gan came back down, still in Logan’s clothes, but otherwise packed.
“I’ll wash these and return them,” she said, as she slipped on her coat and boots.
“It’s fine, no rush,” he said, and reached out to help steady her as she stumbled hurriedly slipping on her shoe. Once she was upright, bag in hand, she looked up to Molland and then to Logan. He offered her a smile that she returned with a touch of warmth coloring her cheeks.
“I’m all good to go. Logan, I hope you get to feeling better,” she said, and Molland reached for the handle of the door.
“I’ll do my best,” he assured her.
“I’ll have your coffee ready on Monday morning. Don’t be late,” she said, and Molland opened the door. Gan stepped out into the last lashings of the storm and toward the large Ford truck sitting in the street, engine running.
“I’ll be back by on my way back home,” Molland told Logan, and Logan nodded. Then Molland was out the door. Logan filled the space where Molland had been standing and watched as the older man bounded ahead of the shorter woman to open the truck door for her. There was a moment of awkwardness as Gan climbed into the slightly-too-tall vehicle before she was shutting the door and Molland was driving away.
Logan shut and locked the entrance to the home. The sound of the deadbolt sliding home rang in his ears and the feeling of the brass lock under his fingers felt unusually cold.
He missed her already.
