Chapter Text
Your suit used to be dominated by the colour white. It was your favourite, loving the meaning and how it could fit in with any other range. But that flexibility also became the downside. Any other colour blended in so easily, sometimes even covering the original. That was why you decided to change it after he died.
You believed you wouldn’t have to feel it again. To feel someone’s blood seeping through the seams. All these years, you worked to catch bad guys, never needing to kill any of them. Your black suit never got stained with anything. Even if there was, you couldn’t see it.
Now, however, red had taken over your senses.
Few more steps and you would have been in the headquarters right now. Just a few more seconds, everyone would be safe and sound. And yet, Doctor Octopus had to break free. Not completely, but one tentacle was enough to onslaught someone.
And this time, it was Miguel. Not yours, but a man you had grown accustomed to for the last few years. The one who gave you opportunities to find meaning, to live on, having a new life and family in the name of Spider Societies.
You didn’t know what possessed you. But your feet instantly took you to where the conscious villain was. He was already battered. Though, that wasn’t enough. You locked him with your webs, growling and screaming as your fist met his face. Over and over again, not giving him any break as the vision of Miguel playing in your mind.
“You. Will.” Two bullets, one tentacle. “Pay. For. This!” Right on the abdomen. “Die. Already!!!” Losing so much blood, not being able to be saved.
Reinforcing your web, you wrapped it around his neck before firing another end on one of the buildings. You didn’t care if you killed him, that was the purpose anyway. He was already unconscious, and with you hanging him like that, you knew he wouldn’t be able to breathe, resulting in a quick death. Not painful at all. At least you were not a total sadist.
You panted, feeling so drained as emotions got a hold on you. Not once did Doctor Octopus talk, not even trying to catch his breath because you didn't let him to, having one goal and that was to avenge Miguel. Doc Ock wanted to kill, so you did exactly the same.
This time, you didn’t show an ounce of mercy, unlike what you did to those who shot your fiancé a few years back.
“Miguel,” At the thought of him, you swerved back to the opened portal, seeing his body sprawled out. “No. No, no, no. Not again,” It was so bright, the only light in this endless night. “Miguel, hey.” And you hated it, you hated how it felt like the world was mocking your carelessness. “Open up your eyes, damn it.”
You pressed your hand on his abdomen, and you cursed the way his blood seeped into your suit. The black seams became slightly maroon, the colour of the accent. It made you panic for a second there, hyperventilating because it hit too close. The accident happened because of you. If only you could react fast enough, then he wouldn’t be—
“You are alright,”
“But you are not!” You let out a gasp, lips pursed at the similarities of the two events. “Don’t talk, let me get you out of here.”
“Where is the Doc?”
“I-” You swallowed a huge lump before gathering him closer to your arms. “I killed him. Have to, I am sorry. I can’t control myself. I am so mad at him and,”
“Guess I miss the party, huh?”
Did he just try to make a joke? One of his feet was already on death’s door, and yet he decided that it was a great time to crack one. “As long as you are alright, guess it’s fine.” Spouting things that made you fume.
Not at him, but to the universe as you experienced some kind of déjà vu.
Was it supposed to be a canon event? For Miguel trying to save you from harm, only for him to die. No, you refused to let the Web of Life and Destiny define how you acted. “ Mierda, what are you doing?” Miles could alter it, so you had to.
You didn’t reply, only lifting him with both arms after you put his hands on his open wound. Before, you didn’t have enough power to save him. But right now, you were only a few steps away from the portal. You hoped he could make it. No, he had to make it. You couldn’t lose another him.
Not when you couldn't imagine another mission without him. A Spider Society without Miguel might as well disband.
“Shut up and give more pressure to your wound.” You growled lightly, so out of character, but this was a part of you that revealed when desperation overcame you. “Let me take care of you. Hang on tight.”
As you jumped into the portal, you never once let go of him. He was twice your size, but it didn’t stop you from clutching him in your arms. A series of gasps could be heard the moment you arrived. The smell of sinister was no more, and you immediately barked to the nearest variants. “Out of the way! He needs medical treatment!”
Jess arrived at the scene not long after. And you were pleased she didn’t try to ask what happened and contact Lyla instead, checking the critical rate and his chance to survive. Twenty-five, that was low. But you wouldn’t give up, it was just a goddamn number, a prediction. You had to do your best and give it all first.
Doctors of Spider variants took care of him once you reached the Med Bay, laying him down on a proper bed. When you wanted to step aside, you felt his hand clinging on your hand, and your eyes softened when his crimson orbs looked so vulnerable. It was as if he didn't want you to leave him, but you knew you had to. Just for a moment. "I will be around, don't worry."
And only after you reassured him he finally able to close his eyes, letting doctors and nurses treated him.
You thanked this universe for having such advanced technology. His wound was closed within an instant, and you swore you almost passed out as the adrenaline in your body melted away.
“I got you.” Warm arms wrapped around your waist, stopping you from falling.
“Jess,”
“He’s going to be alright.” Your eyes watered, and a short laugh of disbelief escaped right after when reality sank in. “Because of you.” You did it. You saved him, you could save Miguel.
As you stared at the empty space in front of you, you imagined your Miguel smiled. He must be so proud, right? And you wanted nothing but to tell him that you could have done the same. Then again, perhaps, if it wasn’t because of his death, you wouldn’t be here right now.
Everything happens for a reason, just like what you said to Miles. And you finally understood why he had to go.
“I’ll see you someday.”
You whispered under your breath to no one in particular. Just to a soul that already left this Web of Life and Destiny, who was now waiting somewhere. In this vast universe, not even the smartest person could understand how it worked.
But you would be around to find out, and of course, not alone.
〄
Three days had passed since the incidents happened. Miles was able to save his father, Spot was gone, leaving no trace behind. And you hoped he would never come back. That was a breakthrough, how the canon event wasn’t definitie. Something else caused the destruction of each universe, and it was society’s job to maintain the stabilities of each.
The revelation was something to be celebrated. Because now, spider variants wouldn’t have to rely on simulations anymore and be able to follow their guts.
But above all, it was also the hardest three days as you were waiting for Miguel to wake up.
He was alright, slowly recovering. That was what the doctors said to you every day. He lost too much blood, but the headquarters had a lot of supplies, even the drugs that were needed to make sure he wouldn’t turn into a complete monster were injected each morning.
And for those agonising days, you had spent your time in the Med Bay. You hadn’t come home to your earth, knowing the nanny you hired daily would take care of your house while you were gone.
Right now, your main concern was him. Looking so helpless as he lay there without his suit. He wore a white sweater with a grey accent, resembling the turtleneck your fiancé loved to wear. Just like what you thought, it was indeed adorable on him. So harmless, no one would ever imagine he was the leader of this extensive society.
Your eyes rarely left him, checking his breathing since he often produced too many sweats, mumbling incoherent things.
Even Miguel O'Hara could have nightmares.
The Med Bay was comfortable, so you practically lived in this room, only leaving the place to shower and grab some food from the cafeteria. Lyla, Jess, or Peter would often visit, checking on you and Miguel. Mayday would crawl at him, and you had to be there to make sure she didn’t try to pull any transet.
But today was quiet. Maybe because it was Sunday and lots of spider variants came back to their own universe, spending time with their family and friends. So to make sure you didn’t fall into boredom, you decided to read a novel you found in the library. A story about reincarnation, sweet and yet filled with angst.
You were too focused on the book, not realising how a set of crimson eyes were staring at you. Your spider senses detected nothing, no threat around as you immerse yourself in the story, legs slightly dangling on the other side of the couch.
The oversized shirt made you look so small, and Miguel couldn't stop himself from glancing. He didn't move an inch, just basking in your presence as he recalled what happened on Earth-42.
His arrival with the others, taking you to a safe place after listening to Peter B's explanation, finding an apartment which was owned by your variant. He remembered how he let Miles take care of his own world, saving his father. While he and some of the adults stayed to stop the Sinister Six from going rampage.
The battle didn't take too much time. There were struggles, but nothing the society couldn’t handle. He was ready to go home since you arrived there. The portal shining behind him. But his sight heightened, he saw that tentacle from the corner of his eyes. And by instinct, he pushed you out of the way.
Pain coursed through his entire body, stopping him from moving as he slowly lost consciousness. But he remembered you. He recalled the conversation, and a smile emerged on his lips at the way you held him, at how much you cared.
“Why are you so adamant to keep me alive?” You jerked at the rough and raspy voice of his, enough to make you close your book and saunter towards him.
“Miguel, you are awake!” There was this beam on your face, eyes filled with emotion he never saw before. “Oh, yeah! Let me tell the others. They must have wanted to—”
“Don't,” you almost pressed your intercom, but stopped as his hand held your wrist. “Too noisy.” And you thought he wanted to be alone for now. “One is better,” But before you walked away and leave him be, he stopped you by elaborating more. “I mean, one company. That means — you.”
You blinked, legs rooted to the ground since you were conflicted. All this time, you used to make sure there was a space between you and Miguel. Keeping him at arm's length because you feared you would get too attached.
Almost three years have passed since you lost your fiancé. And yet you often felt like you were cheating every time someone was trying to get close to you, always turning them down, saying you already had someone.
You were. For the longest time, you still knew your heart was beating for your Miguel. He was there on every step of the way, gestures filled with affection. That was why you were so scared to be around your boss. So scared to call him by his name, because he reminded you too much of your past.
At the same time, it was more than that. You just didn't realise it yet.
“Alright then.” Pulling a chair nearby, you sat by his side without letting go of his hand that was now slipping down to yours, no longer on your wrist. “You know I will do anything you ask me to, boss.”
“Oh, that’s the biggest lie I have ever heard.” You let out a gasp, slightly offended. “What? You often decided to fight an anomaly alone without bringing any partner. Then you sided with that Morales kid, what worse was how you were going to another universe when I asked you not to go anywhere.”
Each syllable was getting faster and faster that you were almost not able to catch it. He wasn’t angry, but he was feeling emotional over something. And you wanted to find out what. “ Estás loca. ” Before you could ask though, he dropped a huge hint.
“Yeah? I drive you crazy, how?” You chuckled softly when he looked at you with surprise written all over his face. “What? You think I wouldn’t try learning Spanish when my boss practically whines and complains using that language?”
“I am not whining.” He threw his gaze to the side, somehow finding the pristine white wall much more interesting than you. What a childish man, you knew those villains wouldn’t be that scared of him if they knew this hidden side existed. “You worried me.”
“Come again?” His voice was barely above a whisper, and yours were too.
“When I saw you in Peter B’s arms, unconscious…” So low that you had to lean closer. “...I thought I lost you.” Right until it sounded like he was speaking in your ear.
You squeezed his trembling hand, and your eyes drooped at the vulnerability that was prominent when he talked. Sure he always asked for your assistance and the first option backup, but you thought that was it. You never thought he cared for you so much his whole body shook for a moment there.
“You are not.” Gingerly, you pressed your palm on his cheek, tilting it towards yours so he would take another look at you. “I am here, see? And you are too.” A glimpse of that cybernetic tentacle piercing his abdomen flashed in your mind. “I thought I lost you too, Miguel.” And you were grateful that wasn’t your last memory of him.
He was at a loss for words. Which was surprising since he always knew what to say. Then again, him being intimate was new. The last few minutes were like an eye-opening situation as you unravelled this spectrum of him.
“Say,” He finally opened up his lips again, though it seemed he was still unsure. “Why did you never call me by my name?” And at the question, you were now the one who had your mind turned blank.
“That’s,” because you had the same name as my dead fiancé. “It’s… You reminded me of someone.” the same face, the same sphere of singularity. “Someone from my world, but he was—” Who I loved dearly, every second of my mind went to him. “He was no more.”
“Is that the reason why you saved me?” Melancholy almost took over your mind, but at that stupid thought, you snapped back to the man in front of you. “Because of my name? Because there was another Miguel who passed away?”
“No, no!” You didn’t like this at all, the way your heart constricted without warning.
“But from your words, that man affected you so much you couldn’t even meet my gaze most of the time.”
“That’s because—”
“I know,” He cut you off. “I met you from Earth-42.” Not letting you explain yourself. “She recently lost someone. Her husband passed away, shot after trying to save someone from robbery. And her husband was,” Believing in his own judgement, connecting one string to another. “Another me. My variant.”
“You don’t understand,”
“I think I do.” Your lips pursed when he suddenly pulled his hand away from your grasp. “You saved me because you—” And it felt like he sucked all of the oxygen when he did. “—because you hoped it was him that you saved. Your Miguel.”
The sentence made you pause. And suddenly, the storm that was clouding your mind went away with the wind.
You had been yearning after a man who would never come back, stuck in your place for years. Your Miguel was gone, and yet you pushed people away, being so hard on yourself as if you didn’t deserve a second chance. As if all your life, you only had to swallow down the fact that you couldn’t have another romantic love.
Not being able to see what was right in front of you, not even realising how you wanted him for him.
You couldn't believe how much time you had wasted longing after your fiancé, knowing another man was waiting for you to see him. Waiting for you to love again.
“I saved you because I can’t bear to lose you.” He finally turned to face you, although with the same melancholy look. “You, Miguel O’Hara from Earth-928B. I can’t imagine going to the Spider Society without seeing you. Without listening to your sarcastic, irritable retort every goddamn time.” And only after you reassured him with those confessions his eyes started to light up.
You rested your chin on the side of the bed, hoping he would believe in you. Your eyes showed nothing but sincerity and affection, no longer filled with longing because this time, the one you wanted was right here, with mouth agape as fangs slightly pricking his lips. “You don’t know how much that idea scared me.”
Without warning, he closed the distance between you, swiftly taking you into his arms and pulling you closer. A small chuckle escaped your lips as the warm feeling that now bloomed in your heart was so intense, spreading all over your body.
You buried your face in the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath there to assure yourself this was a real thing. “Miguel,”
“ Mi vida, ”
He leaned away slightly, letting you sit on the edge of the bed as those crimson eyes lured you in. It had been too long, felt like you were learning again as you experienced love for the second time. But you were not scared anymore. Not when he was here too, ready to forgive himself for all his mistakes.
Miguel never had something like this before, he always believed his heart couldn't express love ever since he was a kid, the exact opposite of his little brother. Then came you, and everything in him started to feel like it belonged to stay somewhere. A home, a place he never thought would have. But he found it in you.
His coarse palm gingerly touched your skin, feeling the bone on your cheek with his fingertips. The same hand that destroyed walls, clawed the enemies and locked them until they surrendered. Miguel could be merciless, he didn't have the softest hand.
But the moment he touched you, it became a promise. He would have you forever.
No one knew who closed the small distance between you two. Suddenly, his lips were on yours, each press felt so delicate and careful, knowing he had a fang that might paralyse you. You didn't care much about it at this point. Your hand grasped his nape, pulling him closer as if a hairsbreadth length was torturous.
To think that it took you this long to realise, scared of accepting a new type of love — if you knew it would make you feel this whole, you wished you could have done it sooner. But this was perfect. Everything unravelled at the right momentum.
Inside this Medical Bay where white surrounded you and him, the air became a silent witness for a brand new story. A pair of lips locked together as they found their rightful place, breathing each other's part of their heart and soul. Here, on Earth-928B, your life began again.
Where you called this magnificent Miguel as yours and submitted yourself to be his.