Chapter Text
Things don’t magically get better after their conversation. Crowley still avoids eye contact on the rare occasion he’s not wearing his sunglasses.
And he rarely speaks, even when Aziraphale reminds him he’s free to talk as much as he wants.
But Aziraphale catches Crowley giving him smiles. He sees when Crowley looks longingly at him.
Aziraphale is very careful not to let Crowley know he notices, instead just finding an excuse to sit next to Crowley and hold him.
At first Crowley had pretended to be annoyed by it.
“I don’t cuddle, Angel.”
“I know you don’t. But can you? For my sake?”
Crowley had grumbled, but agreed.
After that conversation, Crowley would randomly come up to Aziraphale and hug him.
“Thank you, love” he would always say, “I needed a hug.”
And while things have been working like this, Aziraphale knows he has to help Crowley understand that he’s allowed to want and ask for things too.
So when Crowley comes up to him and hands him a paper saying,
‘You look like you need a hug’
Aziraphale brings him over to the couch and holds him.
He hesitates before saying,
“You know, love, you can ask for hugs. I love holding you, I don’t mind.”
Crowley stiffens up.
“I know it’s hard,” he continues, “Asking for things. Talking. Making eye contact. I know it’s hard and you’re so strong for surviving.”
“Thank you,” Crowley says, so quietly that Aziraphale can barely hear.
“I love you, my angel. You’re safe in the bookshop. No one will ever hurt you again.”
Crowley is silent for some time before scribbling down a question.
‘How did you convince them to let me go? Why did they not come after me?’
“Well Gabriel was easy. He didn’t argue after I pulled out the hellfire, I simply told him I had a lot more at the bookshop for protection. I’m not sure what he said to Heaven, but I know I scared him enough to leave us alone.”
Crowley sits up and looks at him in shock.
“You have hellfire here?” he asks.
Aziraphale shakes his head, trying not to scare Crowley by reacting to hearing his voice.
“It was a bluff that I know Heaven won’t take a chance on. I only had that small box.”
Crowley looks relieved. Then he realizes he’s been looking at Aziraphale and instantly looks down.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “Please don’t take my eye. You can take my tongue, but please, not my eye.”
Aziraphale freezes.
Has Crowley been afraid of me this whole time? Has he thought I was gonna hurt him if he didn’t follow Gabriel’s ludicrous rules? I thought I had reassured him enough.
“Crowley,” he replies, slowly, “I’m not going to hurt you. Not for you looking at me, not for you talking to me, and not for anything else you might do. I will never hurt you.”
Crowley is hanging his head and Aziraphale can see some tears in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Angel,” Crowley mumbles.
“Don’t apologize, my love. I know this is because of Gabriel torturing you. He should be the one apologizing.”
Crowley shudders and buries his face into Aziraphale’s shoulder. Aziraphale can feel his coat starting to get damp from Crowley’s tears.
Aziraphale strokes Crowley’s hair while he cries, but doesnt say anything further.
“I know you’re not going to hurt me, Angel,” Crowley murmurs after some time, “But everytime I look at you or want to talk to you, I feel like he’s going to appear and punish me.”
“He won’t hurt you again,” Aziraphale says, “You still have that Hellfire in you and while it may not be enough for all of Heaven, it can certainly destroy Gabriel. And Gabriel knows this. He will not bother us.”
“That…actually makes me feel better, Angel. I had forgotten about the Hellfire.”
“That’s why you have me, dear boy. I will always be here to remind you,” Aziraphale says with a smile.
Crowley sits back and, after some hesitation, he looks up and makes eye contact with Aziraphale. Aziraphale’s smile widens as he looks at Crowley’s gorgeous eye.
He miracles up a damp cloth and brings it close to Crowley’s face.
“May I?” Aziraphale asks.
Crowley nods.
Aziraphale gently wipes the tears and sweat off of Crowley’s face, carefully avoiding his scarred eye.
He miracles away the cloth and grabs Crowley’s hands and holds them.
Crowley is still looking at Aziraphale’s face, like he’s trying to memorize every detail.
He seems to be thinking about doing something, but Aziraphale doesn’t ask what.
Then Crowley slowly leans in close and kisses Aziraphale. It's a gentle kiss, barely lasting a second, like Crowley is scared Aziraphale won’t like it.
Aziraphale leans in close and returns the same, soft, quick kiss, letting Crowley know that it was okay.
Then Crowley kisses him properly. It’s a slow, passionate kiss and Aziraphale can feel all the emotions Crowley is putting into it.
Happiness, friendship, thankfulness, hope, but most of all, love. So much love.
Aziraphale reacts to the kiss with the same pace, pouring his emotions into it so that Crowley can feel his love as well.
He doesn’t know how long they sit there, kissing, until Crowley eventually pulls back to break the kiss.
He’s a little sad that it’s over since they don’t need to technically breathe and can kiss literally forever, but Aziraphale knows that it isn’t practical.
Crowley’s eye is sparkling in joy and he’s smiling widely, something Aziraphale hasn’t seen since before Heaven kidnapped him.
“You’re so beautiful, Crowley,” Aziraphale says, giving a gentle kiss to Crowley’s snake tattoo.
Crowley instantly turns a bright red.
“You too, Angel,” he stammers out.
Aziraphale smiles even brighter at him.
“Did you like it?” Crowley asks, “The kissing?”
“I loved it,” Aziraphale says, “My only complaint is that we couldn’t do it forever.”
A mischievous look appears on Crowley’s face before he leans in for another long kiss.
“Better now?” Crowley asks when they pull apart.
“Of course, my angel. Things are always better with you.”
The high from kissing Aziraphale still hasn’t left Crowley.
Every morning, Aziraphale waits for him downstairs and gives him a kiss. Crowley knows he probably turns bright red everytime Aziraphale kisses him, but he doesn’t care.
Sometimes Aziraphale even lays in bed with him and holds him while he sleeps. Those are the best nights.
He’s just overjoyed that Aziraphale returns his feelings. He knew Aziraphale loved him, but didn’t know if it was romantic love or platonic love.
And ever since the confirmation that it was romantic, Crowley can’t stop smiling. He’s so happy that even the nightmares are leaving him alone.
There’s the just important conversation he needs to have with Aziraphale. One that he’s been avoiding since their first kiss.
It’s okay. You can suck it up for Aziraphale.
Crowley sighs and gets out of bed, dressing in loose, black pants and a plain black shirt.
He walked downstairs to see Aziraphale sitting at the table, drinking tea. A cup of coffee is waiting in front of Crowley’s seat.
Aziraphale lights up when he looks up from his tea.
“Good morning, dear,” he says, getting up from the table to give him a hug and a kiss, “Did you sleep well?”
“Mhm,” Crowley says.
He had dreamed about Aziraphale. The best sleep he could have.
Aziraphale beams at him.
“I made your coffee,” he says, gesturing at the coffee.
“Thanks, Angel,” Crowley says.
He sits down in front of Aziraphale and takes a sip of his coffee.
Crowley stays silent, gathering his thoughts. He doesn’t want to mess things up, but he knows they have to have this discussion.
He takes a few minutes to gather himself up and prepare himself to talk. He knows Aziraphale isn't going to hurt him for talking, but the fear that Gabriel will pop up and force Holy Water down his throat for daring to speak still lingers.
“Angel?”
Aziraphale looks up from his tea.
“Yes, love?”
Crowley can feel himself turning red. He still isn’t used to the affectionate nicknames Aziraphale has for him.
“I had a question. About the…kissing,” he says hesitantly.
“Yes?”
“Since you like kissing so much, do you…would you…ngk do you want to do the other stuff?”
“Other stuff?” Aziraphale asks, looking confused.
“Mmm the y’know-”
Crowley makes a few gestures, trying to explain what he means.
“Oh you mean having sex?” Aziraphale asks.
Crowley is sure his face is as red as his hair. Meanwhile Aziraphale looks like they’re just discussing a new book.
He nods quickly.
“Well I’ve never tried it,” Aziraphale says, “But I wouldn’t be opposed to trying it out, if that’s something you’d like to do.”
Crowley tries not to react. He had hoped that Aziraphale wouldn’t be interested.
It’s not a big deal. I can do it for him. I can make him happy.
“Have you ever tried it?” Aziraphale asks, interrupting his thoughts.
“...A few times,” he says hesitantly.
He hopes Aziraphale doesn’t question him further. He’s sure Aziraphale will find the truth disgusting.
“Did you like it?” Aziraphale asks, gently.
Crowley hesitates.
I should lie. I should tell him it was just for fun.
But he can’t bring himself to lie to Aziraphale when Aziraphale looks at him with so much love.
“Mmm, not really. They were just assignments,” he says, hoping it comes off as unbothered.
Aziraphale looks horrified.
“Hell made you sleep with people for assignments?” he asks, sounding outraged.
I shouldn’t have said anything. He’s going to think I’m disgusting. I fucked everything up like I always do.
Clearly, he must have made some sort of hurt expression, since Aziraphale quickly backpedals.
“I’m not mad or upset at you, Crowley. I’m just horrified that you had to do something so intimate for assignments. That’s not right,” Aziraphale says.
“It’s okay, angel. You don’t have to lie. I know I’m disgusting,” Crowley says.
Aziraphale looks shocked.
“You’re not disgusting, Crowley. You had no choice. Hell is disgusting for making you do that, against your will,” Aziraphale says.
“No wonder you were so worried,” Aziraphale continues, “We’ll never do anything like that if you don’t want to.”
“But you said you wanted to try it,” Crowley says.
I can do it for him. He’s done so much for me. I can make him happy.
“I said I wasn’t opposed to it. I don’t need sex, I’m perfectly happy with how we are. And I certainly don’t want to sleep with you if you don’t want to.”
Crowley is so relieved that he forgets to hide his reaction to Aziraphale’s words.
“...Crowley?” Aziraphale asks, “Were you going to sleep with me to make me happy?”
Crowley can’t bring himself to respond. They both know the answer to that question.
“Crowley?”
“I just want to make you happy, Angel,” Crowley mumbles.
“I am happy, my angel. Just being with you makes me happy,” Aziraphale says gently, “Consent is very important in relationships. I don’t want you doing anything that you don’t want to, just because it might make me happy, okay?”
Crowley nods. He has to find a way to convince Aziraphale he can do it. He needs to make Aziraphale happy.
“Promise me, Crowley,” Aziraphale says, desperately, “Promise me you won’t do something you don’t want to for my sake.”
Fuck. I can’t break a promise.
“I promise, Angel,” Crowley says eventually.
Aziraphale smiles which confuses Crowley.
He would have thought Aziraphale would be sad that they would never have sex.
Maybe…maybe Aziraphale wasn’t lying. Maybe he truly wasn’t interested in sex since Crowley wasn’t.
“Now since you brought this up, I need to ask you, do you like kissing? Or are you just forcing yourself to kiss me?” Aziraphale asks, gently, interrupting his thoughts.
“I love kissing you. Please don’t ever stop,” Crowley says desperately.
Aziraphale looks as relieved as he feels. Kissing Aziraphale is the best feeling.
“What about touching? What are your boundaries?” Aziraphale asks.
“Boundaries?”
“Is there anything I do that makes you uncomfortable? Is there anywhere you don’t want me to touch you?”
Crowley hesitates.
I already made sure he’s not going to sleep with me. The least I can do is let him touch me wherever he wants.
“You can be honest with me,” Aziraphale adds in, “I won’t judge you, I promise.”
Crowley is silent. He knows Aziraphale won’t judge. But he doesn’t want to disappoint Aziraphale.
“How would you feel if you found out you were doing something that made me uncomfortable, but I never told you?” Aziraphale asks.
Crowley feels horrified as he looks up at Aziraphale.
“Have I hurt you? I’m so sorry, Angel. I didn’t mean it-”
“Crowley, you haven’t hurt me. Please don’t apologize. I just wanted you to understand how I feel right now.”
Oh.
“I don’t like it when people come up from behind me. Don’t like when people surprise me. And I don’t like being kissed or touched on my neck,” Crowley manages to say.
Being surprised from behind always made him nervous. It reminded him too much of Hell, where he had to constantly watch your back. Where he could be attacked at any time.
And he had been strangled far too many times. He doesn’t want to risk a panic attack if Aziraphale touches or kisses him there.
“Thank you, my love,” Aziraphale says with a soft smile, “That was very brave.”
“What about you?” Crowley asks, “What are your boundaries?”
Aziraphale looks deep in thought.
“I can’t think of anything,” he eventually says, “But I will tell you if I do.”
Crowley examines Aziraphale’s face and determines he is telling the truth.
“Thank you for bringing this up, dearest. I’m glad we had this discussion.”
Crowley manages a nod before looking down into his coffee. He feels very overwhelmed from the whole conversation and has an urge to slip on his sunglasses, but they’re upstairs in his room.
“Crowley? Are you okay?” Aziraphale asks.
“I‘m okay,” he mumbles.
Crowley hears Aziraphale slide something over to him. He looks up to see a pair of his sunglasses on the table.
Shocked, Crowley looks at Aziraphale who has a sad smile on his face.
“You looked overwhelmed, love,” Aziraphale explains, “So I miracled them downstairs.”
Crowley grabs the sunglasses and slips them on. He instantly feels better.
“Thanks,” he says.
“Of course, my love,” Aziraphale says, “Now how are you feeling? Any injuries bothering you still?”
Crowley takes a second to evaluate himself. Everything has healed up as best as possible.
His throat and mouth still feels rough from the scarring. He can feel his mouth and taste things again. But his voice is still extremely hoarse.
And of course, he’s still adjusting from only being able to see out of one eye, which can make him feel dizzy at times.
But there’s no pain. Which is probably because the Holy Water burned away some of his nerves.
“I think everything’s healed as best as it could,” he eventually says, “Do you think my voice will ever go back to normal?”
“I don’t know,” Aziraphale says, sadly, “You have a lot of scarring on your vocal cords.”
Crowley sighs.
“So probably not, then. It’s okay, angel. You healed me as best as you could.”
Aziraphale gives him another sad smile.
“I was looking for something and I found this,” Aziraphale says, pulling a card out of his pocket and sliding it across the table.
It’s a simple card with a phone number printed on it in gold.
“What is this?” Crowley asks, confused.
“Oh, um, before I found out Heaven had you, I was out for a walk and saw your car. Since Heaven suppressed your powers, the payment on the storage unit you rented stopped and they auctioned your belongings. I managed to track most of them down while you were recovering and got another storage unit, but I thought you would probably want to get your car back yourself. The person who bought it said they would sell it back to you,” Aziraphale explains.
Crowley vaguely remembers Aziraphale mentioning something about his car when he first got back.
“Some stranger has my Bentley?” he asks, panicked.
“I’m sure they have been taking wonderful care of her,” Aziraphale says, “Do you want to call or should I?”
“I’ll do it,” Crowley says, quickly.
He goes over to the bookshop phone (his phone was probably miracled out of existence by Heaven) and dials the number.
The phone rings for a few seconds before a pleasant female voice says,
“Hello?”
“Um, hello. My…friend gave me your card. He told me you have my car?”
“Oh yes. The Bentley, correct? Such a wonderful car, you’ve kept it in great shape,” the stranger says.
“How much do you want for it?” he asks, “I’ll pay you cash.”
“Oh no, I can’t accept any money from you for the car. It would feel wrong since you only lost it because some people were after you. I’m just glad your friend found you.”
Crowley raises his eyebrows in surprise.
“You want to give me my car back for free? Even though you paid for it?”
Something felt off about this situation.
“Yes, of course. Money is no problem for me,” she says, “We can meet at the same shop today around 1pm?”
“That’s fine,” Crowley says, slowly.
Crowley hangs up the phone.
“That was weird,” he says to Aziraphale, “She refused payment and said she’s just going to give it back to me at the shop you met her at.”
Aziraphale frowns.
“That is quite peculiar,” he says, “When does she want to meet?”
“She said 1pm.”
Aziraphale looks at his watch.
“Well we still have a few hours to kill, what would you like to do today?” Aziraphale asks.
Crowley shrugs.
“Well I was planning on reading today, I could read to you if you’d like?”
“Whatever you want, angel,” Crowley says with a smile.
Aziraphale turns slightly red, the first time Crowley has seen Aziraphale blush. He needs to try to get Aziraphale to blush more.
“Thank you, dear,” Aziraphale says.
He gets up from the table and holds out his hand. Crowley takes his hand and lets Aziraphale lead him to the sofa.
He sits down while Aziraphale looks through his books and selects one.
Aziraphale sits next to him and puts his arm around him, encouraging Crowley to lay on his shoulder while he opens up the book and starts to read out loud.
Crowley relaxes against Aziraphale. He’s very warm and soft and Aziraphale is reading in a calming voice.
He can feel his eyes grow heavy and he relaxes further, falling asleep listening to Aziraphale.
Crowley wakes up to Aziraphale gently shaking him. During his nap, he has somehow ended up with his head in Aziraphale’s lap which he is almost aggressively clinging to.
One of Aziraphale’s hands is stroking his hair, while the other is gently shaking him.
He instantly lets go of Aziraphale’s legs and sits up.
“Sorry, angel, you should have woken me up,” Crowley says.
“Oh I didn’t mind, my dear. I rather liked it. You’re very cuddly.”
Crowley is sure he’s bright red.
“I’m not cuddly, I’m a demon,” he mumbles.
Aziraphale gives him a mischievous smile.
“A cuddly demon,” he says with a laugh.
Crowley pretends to be offended, but is secretly overjoyed.
“And while I was quite enjoying that, I think we should get going. We have to walk to the store to get your car back,” Aziraphale says.
Crowley stands up and snaps his fingers to change into his usual outfit. He notices Aziraphale looking him over and gives him a smirk.
Aziraphale turns bright red.
There’s the beautiful blush. I wonder what else I can wear to get him blushing like that.
“Sorry,” he says, averting his eyes.
“It’s fine, angel. I don’t mind you looking,” Crowley says, giving Aziraphale a peck, “And it's not the first time I’ve caught you looking.”
He always dressed to attract and knew people would stare. And he had caught Aziraphale looking a few times, but pretended not to notice.
Aziraphale somehow turns even more red and Crowley’s smile widens.
“I-I didn’t think you noticed! You’re very nice to look at, dear,” Aziraphale stammers.
“Thanks,” Crowley says, smiling, “Now let's get going.”
The walk to the store is quite short. When they arrive, Crowley’s car is parked (legally for once) in front of the store.
Crowley metaphysically scans the area, unable to shake the worry from the strange phone call. He stops Aziraphale instantly when he feels the amount of power in the area.
“What is it, dear?” Aziraphale asks quietly.
“Can’t you feel it? There’s an insane amount of power in this area right now.”
Aziraphale is quiet for a few seconds while Crowley assumes he’s checking out the area.
“Do you think it’s a trap?” Aziraphale asks.
“Maybe,” Crowley says, “We should just go back to the shop.”
Aziraphale shakes his head.
“They’ve probably sensed us already. They’re going to expect us to run,” Aziraphale says.
“Don’t worry, you’re in no danger here,” a strange voice interrupts them.
Crowley and Aziraphale instantly turn around. Crowley summons the Hellfire while Aziraphale has drawn his sword.
A woman is standing there, not even slightly looking intimidated by them. She smiles brightly at them.
She looks familiar so Crowley looks into the metaphysical realm again and realizes all the power is coming from her.
There’s no way he and Aziraphale can fight her off and based on how Aziraphale is looking, he knows this as well.
“I’ll distract her,” Aziraphale whispers, “You need to run. This is heavenly power.”
“No,” Crowley whispers back, “I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“Aziraphale, Crowley,” the strange woman says, “It’s been so long.”
“Do I know you?” Aziraphale asks, confused.
“You should,” the woman says with a laugh, “But I suppose I looked much different back then.”
Crowley looks at her in the metaphysical realm once again before he realizes. God.
Fuck.
He puts out the fire in his hand and drops to his knees. Aziraphale looks at him confused, before his eyes widen when he understands.
He follows Crowley’s example and puts his sword away before kneeling.
“Oh, no need for that,” God says with a smile, “Rise.”
Aziraphale slowly gets to his feet, but Crowley remains on his knees.
He is a demon after all, he’s sure She was talking to Aziraphale when She said to rise.
“I was talking to both of you,” God says, “Rise my child.”
My child?
She could probably hear every thought going through their heads. He stands up, making sure not to look directly at Her.
If Gabriel didn’t want him to make eye contact, She certainly would not want it either.
“I accept whatever punishment you want to give me,” Crowley says, before the situation gets out of hand, “Just leave Aziraphale out of it. It was all my idea.”
At least I got some time to rest before they take me again. And I can keep Aziraphale safe.
Crowley doesn’t dare look at Aziraphale or Her, instead keeping his head down, looking at the sidewalk. He can’t manage to stop shaking even when Aziraphale puts a hand on his arm to try and steady him.
Whatever is next for him is going to be a whole lot worse then what Gabriel did.
“That’s not true,” Aziraphale says, “It was my idea, Crowley did nothing wrong.”
Crowley shakes his head.
Don’t be stupid, angel.
“No…I-I tempted him. I used a miracle to tempt him. He thinks it was his idea, but it was all-”
“I’m not here to punish either of you,” God interrupts.
Crowley freezes.
“You’re…not?” Aziraphale asks.
“No, I’m just here to give Crowley back his car,” God replies.
What?
Crowley looks up in shock.
“You had my car?” he asks.
“Yes, it is a beauty. I couldn’t let it get into the wrong hands. And how else would Aziraphale have found out where you were?”
Aziraphale looks just as shocked as Crowley feels.
“...you bought Crowley’s car so that I would see it and realize Heaven had him?” Aziraphale asks.
“Yes. What Gabriel was doing was quite horrible. He has been warned not to do anything like that again. Heaven will not bother you again, Crowley,” she says, gently.
“Why didn’t you just tell him to let me go if you had such a problem with it?” Crowley asks.
He immediately regrets his words. Last time he had questioned Her, he ended up taking a one-way ticket to Hell.
But She doesn’t look offended at all.
“Free will,” she says, “I could not stop him directly, but I could buy your car and coincidentally run into Aziraphale.”
She takes a few steps to come close to them and pulls out Crowley’s car keys. She holds them out to him.
Crowley accepts the keys with a shaky hand.
“Do not be afraid, my child. I have no ill intent towards you.”
She steps even closer and puts Her hand on his face. Crowley can feel the immense power coming from her.
Then he feels something else. Her love. To him.
Crowley can feel tears forming in his eye. He hasn’t felt Her love since he fell. He still has an empty spot where Her love used to be when he was an angel.
And then the tears fall. He’s sobbing.
She pulls him in for a hug and holds him while he sobs. He can feel Her warmth and love.
She feels so familiar, like She never left him.
He doesn’t know how long he stands there before he manages to calm himself enough to stop crying.
He stumbles back from Her, instantly missing Her warmth. Aziraphale grabs him before he can fall.
“Are you okay, love?” he asks gently.
Crowley nods. If he speaks, he’ll probably burst into tears again. But there’s one question he has.
Well not only one, but he doesn’t want to push his luck.
“You said Heaven won’t bother me again, what about Aziraphale?”
Aziraphale tightens his grip on his arm.
“Crowley-”
“They will not hurt him either,” She interrupts, “He did not do anything wrong. It was all part of the plan.”
The plan. Was all my suffering just part of Her plan.
“Gabriel torturing you was not part of my plan,” She continues, clearly sensing Crowley’s thoughts, “He has been put on strict supervision and prohibition. He will likely be stripped of his title and position. What he did was unacceptable.”
Relief fills Crowley. He’s truly safe if She says so.
She steps close to them again and puts Her hand on his arm.
“I’m sorry, my child. I wish I could have prevented you from getting hurt.”
Crowley shakes his head.
“You can’t apologize to me, I’m just-”
A demon. Fallen. Unforgivable.
She shakes her head.
“I didn’t want you to Fall, my child,” She says, “But it was the only way to prevent Armageddon from happening early. You were the one I could trust to still love, still have faith, even after falling. And the one strong enough to survive Hell. I’m proud of you, my child. And I hope you can forgive me for hurting you.”
Crowley freezes.
I did nothing wrong. She didn’t want me to Fall. She’s proud of me.
“I always was,” she says.
She hugs him once more and then does the same to Aziraphale. Then she fades away.
Crowley stumbles, then decides to sit down, on the sidewalk. Aziraphale joins him. He looks just as shocked as him.
“What just happened?” Aziraphale asks after a few seconds.
Crowley has no good response.
“Your guess is as good as mine, angel.”
They sit in silence, processing everything that just happened.
“I did nothing wrong,” Crowley says, “She Fell me, but I did nothing wrong.”
She put him through thousands of years of torment in Hell. She let him get hurt for being good. For being faithful. For loving too much.
All for Her plan to go according to plan. All so She wouldn’t have to get Her hands dirty.
“I’m sorry, Crowley,” Aziraphale says, “You didn’t deserve that.”
Crowley takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to start crying again.
“We should go back to the shop,” Crowley says, standing up.
He holds out his hand and helps Aziraphale up.
They silently walk over to the Bentley who opens her doors for them.
“I’ve missed you,” Crowley says, patting her dashboard, “Did She take good care of you?”
The Bentley flashes her lights, then starts up her engine and starts taking them to the shop.
Aziraphale holds his hand, but doesn’t say anything to him.
“Crowley, are you okay?” Aziraphale asks, once they get back to the shop.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” he says, “She stripped me of my Grace and threw me out. She let me suffer. She took away Her-”
And then Crowley feels it. Her love. He hadn’t noticed it never left him when she stopped touching him until now.
He bursts into tears again.
“Crowley?” Aziraphale asks in a concerned tone.
Aziraphale steps up to him and holds him.
“I can feel it,” he says between sobs, “I can feel Her love again. She gave it back to me.”
“Oh Crowley.”
Aziraphale holds onto him and strokes his hair while he sobs. Crowley can feel the love coming from Aziraphale and projects his own love to Aziraphale.
“I love you, Aziraphale,” Crowley says once he stops crying.
“I love you too, Crowley,” Aziraphale replies, “My angel. I’m sorry you’ve suffered so much. You deserved better. I wish I could take away all of the hurt.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, angel.”
“You didn’t either,” Aziraphale says, “And I’ll always be here, for you to remember that. I love you so much, Crowley.”
“I love you too.”