Chapter Text
The girls visited Ajax and Xavier’s dorm where they waited with Tyler.
“You guys ready to go get some ice cream?” Enid announced to the room as she burst through the door cheerfully, Wednesday in tow.
Everyone smiled and said some form of ‘yes’.
Once they arrived everyone ordered. Enid got a mix of different fruit sorbets topped with gummy bears, Xavier got a coffee flavor, Tyler got a vanilla flavor with chocolate syrup, Ajax got superman flavor with a ton of different candy toppings, and Wednesday asked for just a small side of the dark chocolate chip toppings.
As they sat down and started to eat, Ajax noticed Xavier’s hesitation and nudged him a little. Once he started to eat, Ajax watched all these beautiful people, and this doubt grew in his mind that he didn’t deserve any of this. He was just some lowly stoner who somehow got lucky. None of this he was worthy of. He lost his appetite as all these negative thoughts started swarming his mind.
Ajax stood up suddenly and everyone turned to look at him confused, "I um... have to go back to the dorm, I don't feel very well..." Ajax shifted nervously as the lie rolled off his tongue. He didn't dare make eye contact with Wednesday, she'd know he was lying immediately.
"I'll go with you," Xavier stated, starting to get up, "NO!" Ajax shouted unexpectedly before slapping his hand over his mouth, "I-I'm good, man. Bye guys." He quickly blurted out a goodbye and scurried off before anyone else could say anything.
***
When he arrived back at the dorm, he didn't bother turning the lights back on, instead opting to lie down on his bed and cry. He hid under the covers and silently wept for half an hour.
He must've fallen asleep because he woke up to the door creaking over and some hushed conversation, he pretends he was still asleep as he listened in, "...Yeah, I'll tell him you said that. Goodnight Tyler." He heard them share a quick peck before the door was closed. They must've dropped the girls off at their dorm before coming here. He wished Tyler would enroll in the school so that they could have a bigger three-person dorm and not have to walk back to his house at night every time their meetings went on for too long.
He felt his bed dip down slightly as Xavier sat on the edge, "Hey, are you still awake?" Ajax didn't answer. He heard Xavier sigh before he felt Xavier lean down and kiss him on the forehead. He could hear as Xavier got up, adjust his blankets, get ready for bed, and get into bed, all while in the dark. He felt even guiltier. After he heard Xavier's soft snores, he took out his phone and watched videos, to distract himself from the growing doubt in his mind. He didn't sleep at all that night.
***
This went on for a couple of weeks. Ajax would stop responding to his partners, he avoided being in the same vicinity as them, and he would try and come in late to his dorm after Xavier was asleep. After a while his partners got tired of his excuses, growing more and more concerned. He avoided confrontation at all costs, just trying to remind himself that this was for them. He didn't deserve them, and they didn't need him.
***
One night at 1:58 am, Ajax was sneaking back into his dorm when the lights suddenly. Ajax jumped at the brightness and was met with the stares of all of his partners.
Wednesday was the first to bluntly break the silence, "We need to talk." Oh God, were they finally breaking up with him? He knew this moment was coming but was trying to delay it for as long as possible.
"Y-yeah?"
"Sit down."
Ajax sat on his bed and picked at his cuticles nervously.
"Ajax... you look like shit. What's going on? Also stop doing that." Tyler sat next to him and lightly divided Ajax's hands and held one of them to stop the picking.
He was right though; Ajax's skin had gotten paler and there were dark circles under his eyes from sleepless nights.
"Why have you been coming into the dorm so late at night?" Xavier asked sitting on the other side of him.
"Is there a reason you stopped hanging out with us?" Enid sat on Ajax's lap and looked him in the eyes but all he could do was look down.
"You've been lying more." Wednesday commented from her seat on Xavier's bed.
they continued to interrogate him until he could feel hot tears run down his face. They all went silent in shock and Enid cupped his face, wiping away tears, "Oh Ajax, just tell us what's wrong."
"I don't deserve this; you should just break up with me and move on." He confessed and they all stared in disbelief.
There was an awkward pause as they all stared. None of them sure what to respond. Wednesday broke the silence after a second, "Ajax, are you dumb?"
Everyone turned around to look at her incredulously, Ajax gaped at the statement, know he was the one who wasn't sure what to say. Xavier pulled Wednesday outside the dorm to talk. Tyler and Enid looked at each other confused but knew this wasn't the right time to stay silent. "We don't think you're dumb Ajax, and neither does she."
The gorgon just looked down at his hand, the other was held by Tyler. "I'm sorry..."
"For what?" Enid cupped his chin and made him look up at her.
He shifted a little, "Just causing such a commotion."
Tyler turned his head towards him, "If this commotion is necessary for us to communicate, then it's all right, we just want to make sure you're okay. We're not going to break up with you, you mean so much to all of us." Ajax leaned against him and just sighed.
The three were quiet and they just leaned onto each other as they listen to quiet mumbling behind the door. Finally, the door creaked open and the two walked in. Wednesday sat on Ajax's left side, opposite of Tyler, she looked at Xavier who was looking at the four, he was the only one standing up now.
Finally, Wednesday sighed, "I do not think you are dumb, I thought what you were saying was dumb. It was rhetorical. Ajax, we wouldn't be complete without you." Ajax swore he could feel his eyes well up, Wednesday wasn't one for sappy things so her saying that made him feel sad, he felt like he pushed her to say something she might not mean.
"Why're you crying?" Enid leaned back as Wednesday reached out to wipe his tears.
"No reason, can we all just stay like this for a while?" Ajax mumbled, they could discuss this more later, right now he just wanted his partners' warmth.
Xavier smiled and climbed into the small bed that was now overflowing with people. They all laid down and got comfy.
Ajax closed his eyes, he was too anxious to say it aloud but he appreciated them so much, and even if he felt like he didn't fit, he'd enjoy it while he had it.