Chapter Text
Martyn swiped his finger across a page of the enchanted book, sketching a pose, and watching as the armor stand in front of him mimicked it. He took his finger off the paper with a flourish, and the stand froze, staying in position. It wasn't a particularly impressive pose, but Martyn smiled proudly anyways.
“This thing is awesome,” he said to Joe, who had flown in to drop yet another shulker box full of various types of stone at Cleo's doorstep. Ze said that they would know what to do with it; somehow, Martyn doubted that. “You wouldn't happen to know how to replicate it, would you?”
“Oh, that's easy, just take a book and title it `Statues',” Joe replied. Around zir head floated a rainbow of small multicoloured eyes that stared directly at Martyn.
“Right,” Martyn said, looking back at the eyes. That sounded like far too easy a process to be possible on just any server. He tried not to be too disappointed; he wouldn't have had any time for making statues in the Life games anyways, and, well, where else was he gonna do it?
“And another thing... do you know if Cleo has a change of clothes stashed anywhere?”
Joe hesitated for a moment. “...In their cross-server inventory, probably?”
“Sure, but I'd feel weird just digging through that. And I had a look around this block of skyscrapers here, but I couldn't find a wardrobe or anything.”
“Oh, fair enough. Well, I don't know about Cleo, but you can borrow some of my clothes if you want?”
“Sure. Do you have anything in green?”
Joe smiled and looked at Martyn through zir green glasses, and Martyn looked at zir green fingerless gloves and green hairtie and felt a bit silly for asking. “Oh, I've got a few things. I'll be right back!”
---
Half an hour later, Martyn was standing next to a shulker box overflowing with clothes, dressed in... not the most ostentations outfit he'd ever worn, considering a certain December MCC, but it was probably in the top ten. Cleo was a bit taller than Joe, so most of the clothes left the belly exposed, but Martyn had managed to find a chroma green pinstripe suit that fit well enough. He stepped out of the room in Cleo's base he'd used to dress up, and made eye contact with Joe, whose face lit up.
“Found something you like?” ze said.
“Yeah, I guess so,” Martyn replied, laughing. “I feel like I'm ready to play for the Lime Llamas with this fit.”
“I don't watch sports, but yeah, I think you look great!”
The two of them walked out into Cleo's courtyard, where someone was waiting for them; someone who appeared to be a blue slime in a hoodie and jogging pants.
The slime looked at Martyn and stifled a laugh. “Wow, looks like I chose the right day to go check on Cleo's replacement,” they said, then held out a slimy hand- more like a stump, really, Martyn couldn't make out separate fingers. “I'm Jevin. Nice to meet you.”
“Martyn,” Martyn responded. He tried to shake Jevin's 'hand', but only ended up slapping against it before Jevin withdrew it. It had the consistency of a water balloon. “You're a friend of Cleo's?”
“Uh- yeah, a friend. Totally. Mhm, we're best friends,” Jevin replied, nodding. “That's why I'm here. Friendly reasons.”
“Right. Friendly reasons. Definitely not `collecting blackmail material for Cleo' reasons.”
“Exactly! See, you get it,” Jevin said cheerfully. Martyn looked at Joe, who shrugged. Zir rainbow eyes shot a few glances at Jevin occasionally, but most remained trained on him. Suddenly, Joe gasped.
“Wait, I haven't even shown you the best feature of this outfit yet!” ze said, then began rummaging through zir inventory. Eventually ze pulled out a strange flashlight of sorts. “Check this out!”
Ze shone the light on Martyn; he looked down to realise his body had vanished. From the neck down, all of his body which was covered by green fabric was completely invisible.
Martyn laughed deviously. “Oh, that's fantastic. Say, can I borrow that light for a bit?”
“Sure,” Joe said, handing Martyn the flashlight. “As long as you bring it back by the end of the day.”
“Yeah, I can do that, no problem,” Martyn replied, then went back into his little changing room. After some rummaging, he found a piece of fabric big enough to cover his head, protesting snakes included; then, he pulled out his chat and began typing a message.
<ZombieCleo> Tim, where you at?
<Tango> the shopping district
<Tango> zedaph's giving me a tour
<ZombieCleo>coords?
Taking the makeshift mask with him, he went outside to meet Joe and Jevin again. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a rancher to prank.”
He shot a glare at Jevin, who appeared to be taking a picture of him, then took off flying with Cleo's elytra.
Despite receiving precise coordinates from Jimmy, Martyn had quite some trouble locating him and his new friend in the shopping district. Partly because the district in question was a headache-inducing mess to fly over, and partly because all of Tango's distinctive physical features were now blue for some reason.
He gently glid down to the ground, careful not to make any noise, and landed behind Jimmy and a blond Hermit who he guessed must be Zedaph. He'd been shining Joe's flashlight onto himself, rendering him entirely invisible except for his hand. He trailed behind the two of them, slowly closing the gap. Eventually he could hear what Zedaph was saying:
“And this is the hole where... Actually, I have no idea what this hole is for. It wasn't here last time I went shopping. There's hoppers at the bottom... d'you reckon we should throw something in, see what happens?”
“You know, Zed, this tour isn't very good,” Jimmy said. His accent was unmistakeable, even in Tango's voice, which didn't seem to have changed with his colouration.
Martyn was right behind them at this point, so he spoke up: “Yeah. Zero stars.”
Jimmy yelled out and whirled around, flailing his arms about in a panic. His arm collided with Zedaph's, and expelled some kind of red flash; then, Zedaph yelped too.
Martyn began laughing, pulling the cloth off of his face and pointing the flashlight down. “Oh, that was beautiful,” he said between laughs.
“Wh- Cleo- Martyn- how did you- what are you wearing?” Jimmy sputtered.
“More importantly, what were you thinking?” Zedaph added, rubbing his arm where he'd collided with Jimmy. “Do you know how annoying redstone burns are to heal?”
“Sorry, Zed,” Martyn said. “Didn't mean for you to become collateral. Hi. I'm Martyn, by the way.” Martyn extended his hand to Zedaph, who crossed his own arms, pointedly not shaking his.
“Wait-- sorry, Zed, by the way-- what do you mean 'redstone burn'?” Jimmy said.
“Well, you know, with Tango's redstonyness... he never zapped you on accident?”
Jimmy shook his head. Martyn piped up: “Wait, are you saying Tango just has redstone tasers hidden up his sleeves at all times?”
“No- he- because he's a redstone sprite, guys come on!” Zedaph exclaimed, clearly expecting Martyn and Jimmy to know this.
“I didn't know that,” Jimmy replied immediately.
Zedaph looked at Jimmy, looking very offended on Tango's behalf. “Seriously? You were married to him, and you didn't even-”
“We were not married!” Jimmy interrupted him. “We were soulmates, not-”
“About the same thing, isn't it? Still, not a very good soulmate if you didn't even know what species he is.”
“I thought he was just a regular guy!”
“He has red eyes!” Zedaph and Martyn said in unison.
“Not anymore though, they're blue now,” Martyn added. “Zed, what's up with that anyways? Why does Hermitcraft get the blue raspberry flavoured Tango?”
“Because of...” Zedaph trailed off, then sighed, and pinched his nose. “You know, I figured because you were his husband- soulmate, whatever-” he waved a hand at Jimmy, who's opened his mouth to protest- “I could skip the `introduction to Tango' part of this tour. But I guess not! Follow me, let's turn this tour around.”