Chapter Text
These past few days, V1 had been burying itself in its work. Again, relying on ultimately meaningless tasks to prevent its mind from wandering. A rush to complete the last repairs before the snow set in made sense, yes. But there was nothing rational in the way it shouldered the burden. When every leak had been patched, every hole had been filled, what was it to do then? Gabriel was bound to notice that something was wrong sooner or later.
Maybe it was the tension in their frame. Maybe it was the hollowness in the way they dismissed his every concern. He had some sort of intuition. An itch that clued him in on their turbulent state of mind.
“V1, look at me. Are you sure you’re alright?”
V1 startled, and heard a snapping sound. The board that they were holding had splintered under their grip. It flinched when it noticed, dropping it to the ground abruptly. Sometimes, it struggled with knowing its own strength. Moments like this reminded it of just how easily it could break Gabriel. For the first time ever, V1 was fearful of its strength. The delicate bones in the hands it held so dearly could fracture in a heartbeat. One slip-up. One miscalculation. That was all it took.
They put their head in their hands, shaking it back and forth. Too tired to dismiss his question with a half-hearted lie.
“No. Honestly, I’m not.” If they were feeling hopeful, they would say that small admittance lessened the weight a little bit. But V1 was never that optimistic.
V1 continued, “I don’t want to make this your problem too. I know you have a lot of your own problems you’re dealing with. I wouldn’t want to make that worse for you.”
“Oh, Machine,” Gabriel’s voice was so soothing. It was strange how much compassion could be woven into a single sound, how loved he could make them feel. “You’re not a burden. I care about you so much. You know you can talk to me, right?”
If V1 believed in a god worth worshipping, it would ask them what it could have possibly done to deserve someone like Gabriel in its life. He was too good for them, lovely in every way.
V1 nodded. “I know that. I do want to talk about it. Just…” It waved its hands, searching for the right words. It finally settled on, “It’s not very easy.” The guilt of keeping this much hidden from him weighed almost as heavily as the regret. V1 knew that once this was over, it would be a monumental weight off its chest. It wasn’t alone in this.
“I understand,” Gabriel replied.
V1 stood in silence for a moment, clenching its hands into fists and then releasing them. Now or never. They were ready.
“You might want to sit down for this one,” they signed, a slight tremor visible in their fingers.
He obliged. Time to start from the beginning.
“I’ve told you a little about this, but not the full story. The early days of my life were… awful. In ways I can’t begin to describe. My creators… they didn’t see me as a person. But that’s not all. I wasn’t the only one.” Their hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Gabriel reached for one of their free hands, resting his on top of it. He squeezed it, steady and reassuring.
“There was someone else, created after I was. Their name was V2. And at first I was happy. Hopeful. Glad that finally, there was somebody who had been through the same struggles I had, and maybe I didn’t have to be alone anymore. I hoped that we could be… I don’t know. Family.” A silly wish, V1 thought to itself. They had been naive.
“But they hated me from the very start. They saw me as the ultimate competition, constantly having to prove that they were better than me. That they weren’t just a ‘useless prototype’ like I was.” V1 took some solace in the silent presence at its side, the fingers curling protectively around their hand. Gabriel was warm like the sun.
“They loved humanity, something that I could never understand. They had a flair for the dramatics, taking pride in music and dance and theatre. I just wish I-”
V1 buried its face in its palms. This was all so overwhelming.
With trembling fingers, it spoke once more.
“I think I killed them.” There it was again. That familiar creeping horror; the numbness. “I didn’t want to, but they didn’t give me a choice.”
There was so much it wished that it could say to them, but now it would never have the chance. I hate you. I miss you. I’m sorry.
With their sins exposed for all to see, V1 felt… it was almost catharsis. There was nothing between them now, nothing painful left unsaid. Is this… relief?
“Do you hate them?” Gabriel’s words were unexpected, catching them off guard. They searched for the words to respond.
“It’s not that simple. I think a part of me always will, but it’s more complicated than that. Is it weird? To care about someone who hurt you?”
Gabriel shook his head. “No, I don’t think that’s weird. Emotions are… a complicated thing, as you said. Having family is hard, and grief isn’t always rational. And it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
The words meant a lot to V1. Although they knew it in their heart, hearing from someone else that they weren’t to blame made them feel a lot better. Maybe one day they would actually believe it.
“One more thing. The reason why I’ve been… off for a few days. Tomorrow, it’s the anniversary of the day they were created. I’ve just… I've been thinking about them a lot recently. And I was hoping that we could pick some flowers for them. I’ve heard that’s traditional for this sort of thing.” Flowers were scarce now; the weather was too cold. But there were still some. There had to be.
“Yes, of course we can do that. Thank you for trusting me with this. I know this was hard on you,” Gabriel said, with the careful kindness V1 had gotten to know so well. V1 didn’t reply, deep in thought.
“You look like you need a hug.” That was exactly what it needed right now. It gratefully slid closer, resting its head over Gabriel’s heart. Their hands scrunched up fistfulls of his shirt. Warm. Safe. They should have confided in Gabriel a long time ago. He always made them feel better.
“Thank you.” V1 spoke to him by tracing the lines of the words into his skin. It was a method they had honed through late night conversations under the blankets, when neither of them could sleep.
“For what?” His voice was a pleasant rumble against their body.
“For being here. Listening.”
“I’ll always be here.”
“I love you.”
“I know. I love you too.”
V1 had learned how to live, how to feel, and how to regret. Quietly, they thought to themself. Happy birthday, brother. It was a bittersweet farewell.
Springtime brought with it clearer skies. Gabriel’s garden had grown strongly, tender seedlings extending upwards and blossoming. V1 had taken to spending a lot of time outdoors, revelling in serene sanctuary. They seemed a lot happier recently.
A whole year had passed since V1 had dragged him up from the depths. A year ago, he had thought that he was dying. But he had been given a second shot at life, a thing he had grown to treasure. He would have thought it impossible, but Gabriel liked who he was right now. He liked the person he had become. And V1. They were his partner now. Even though it had been many months now, the thought still made him giddy. He loved them with everything he had.
KITR had taken a particular liking to the machine’s more mischievous tendencies, and now the two were more or less inseparable. Or maybe that was just because of how often it fed her.
As Gabriel approached he saw V1 sitting in the dirt teasing her with a feather tied to a string. The cat playfully batted at it.
“You stole my shirt again? Thief! Scoundrel!” This had become a habit of theirs.
It narrowed its eye at him. “Our shirt. Get with the times.”
The fabric of the soft sweatshirt it had pilfered was a little frayed in places, which Gabriel had repaired with a scattering of colourful patches. A few modifications had been made to the back of it to accommodate his wings. And, well, their wings too, he supposed. It didn’t fit V1 very well, being noticeably too large. He wasn’t sure why it had taken a liking to borrowing his clothes. It wasn’t like they needed them to begin with. But he didn’t mind. Far from it. The action was so ridiculously endearing; it made his heart do little flutters.
“You’re not going to wear pants with that? I’m afraid that you look… a little indecent.”
V1 dismissed that with a wave of its hand. “Pants catch in my damn joints. It’s annoying. Plus, I look fantastic. And this is nothing you haven’t seen before.”
Yeah, that was true. Gabriel loved seeing them so confident. Actually, the way the fabric draped over their shoulders was almost elegant. The neckline was starting to slide a little. He pushed it back into place.
Once it had finished cooing over KITR, V1 turned to him with an unexpected request.
“Dance with me.”
Gabriel made an affirmative hum. “Very well.”
He took its hand. Eager for any excuse to put its hands on him, V1 made an immediate grab for his waist. Gabriel corrected their positioning with a light laugh.
“No, not like that. Here.”
He began to walk them through the steps of a familiar dance.
“This is a dance that was performed at certain social events in Heaven. Frightfully dull occasions, but this part was nice.”
Gabriel felt an odd twinge of nostalgia. He didn’t think that it was possible for him to miss those tedious gatherings, full of draining formalities and hollow small talk. But it made him think of more halcyon days; idyllic afternoons spent with his brothers. He missed them. They probably despised him now, after he left their beloved kingdom in tatters. Maybe one day they would be able to forgive him, seeing the resolve behind his actions. They were smarter than he was; if there was anyone who could see through the Council’s corruption, it would be them.
As V1 gained more confidence in the steps, it began incorporating its own individual flair. Their additions were… certainly unique. Eclectic, expressive, and charming.
They pulled him in close. One of its hands was definitely starting to slide, charting a course across Gabriel’s chest.
“I’m beginning to suspect that you have an ulterior motive here.”
It hummed happily. “Maybe a little.”
V1 stretched up on their toes and softly butted their head against his. It was far from a traditional kiss, but so sweet and affectionate. Warmth lined the inside of Gabriel’s ribcage, bleeding out of him. The same softness blossomed in his heart, lungs, stomach, everywhere. He loved them so much.
The pair basked in the embrace, breathing each other in. A chill was starting to set in from the fading daylight, but Gabriel didn’t care. The night’s coldness couldn’t touch him like this. They could stay out here for a little longer.