Chapter Text
The TV glow casts a pale light in the dark of Abed's dorm room, just enough to highlight the sharp edges of the objects around them, as the Inspector Spacetime theme fills the room for the third time that night. After the party's disastrous ending, Troy and Abed went back to the dorm room to watch Marmaduke, and after that Abed insisted that he wanted to watch an episode of Inspector Spacetime, and then another, and then another. They were episodes from earlier seasons, maybe the fourth or the fifth, even if they last rewatched those seasons just a few weeks ago. Abed was scribbling non-stop on one of his notebooks, so he most likely had an awesome idea that couldn't wait, and it involved the fourth or fifth - or sixth? - season of Inspector Spacetime.
Don't get him wrong, on any another day Troy would take the Inspector Spacetime business very seriously. Tonight though, he cannot focus on anything at all. It's probably very late by now, they have classes in the morning, he should go to bed and encourage Abed to get some sleep too, but he cannot tear his eyes away from the TV. The dialogue blends in with the background, he has no clue what's going on or where the Inspector is or when he is- but he is captivated by the explosion of colors that he's seeing for the first time. He can't even tell which colors are which yet, but he doesn't really care about that right now. What he cares about is what it all means.
He met his soulmate just a few hours ago.
The sexy Dracula totally worked.
That was Troy's last memory of the night, crafting a last-minute costume in an attempt to look cooler, and now it's safe to say it was a foolproof plan. His soulmate was somewhere out there, at Greendale, and he was just lucky enough to find her, and also unlucky enough to forget everything about that night.
His brain is still as wrinkled as it was when he first opened his eyes. He should have been more worried about the fact that apparently the entire campus suffered collective amnesia and got hurt in mysterious circumstances, but when they were wrapping his arm in gauze he could barely listen to anything the first-aiders were saying. Every sound was drowned in the loud novelty of shelves of multi-colored books, Halloween costumes, and the warm tone of Abed's eyes.
He's only managed to spit out a few words since that moment, and fortunately if Abed noticed he didn't question it. The bright side of an inexplicably hazy night is that he has a good enough excuse for his weird attitude as he tries to sort out the hundreds of thoughts that buzz in his mind.
He should have told Abed. Friends don't lie. But he hasn't told him yet, and for some reason he cannot bring himself to do it. He feels shame pooling in his stomach when he remembers how he called him a nerd. Maybe that's why it feels so heavy, talking to him about it, because their last conversation was somewhat of a fight, and about the best way to impress girls too - or not really about that, but close enough - and would it make Troy a jerk if he said "Hey man, after ditching our epic costume i found my soulmate"? Is it dumb to worry about that?
Why would he even want to keep this a secret?
His mind flies back to a conversation the study group had a few months ago, right before Valentine's Day. They were all at their table in the study room F working on their Spanish homework, or more accurately, Annie was trying to get everyone to focus for over eleven and a half minutes (their current record) without getting side-tracked. Troy had already failed at that, opting for doodling on the margin of his book instead, when the dean opened the door:
"Happy Valen-dean's week!" he cheered, posing in the doorway with a bow and an arrow with a heart-shaped arrow-head, wearing what was a ridiculously well-made Cupid costume.
"Here at Greendale we love love so much, that we think that celebrating it for just one day isn't enough, isn't that right Cupid Being?" The Greendale mascot, also dressed as Cupid (though in a far less sophisticate outfit) followed him in the room, and started hanging cutouts of hearts all over the walls.
"Here's your reminder that you're all invited to the annual St Valentine's Dance this Saturday, you don't want to miss it!"
"Well, I think Valentine's day ritualizes a connection between affection and candy so girls can learn the ropes of prostitution," as soon as Britta opened her mouth it was clear that their focused-on-Spanish time was over. Annie sighed and stopped her timer. Five minutes and thirty-two seconds.
"A very long and convoluted way to say you're single," said Jeff.
"A very long and con...validated way to say you're a lesbian," added Pierce, snickering to himself.
Britta rolled her eyes dramatically, "Oh no, I have no one who will suck at my tongue and make me see colorful sparks on commodification-of-love day, unlike you. I am devastated."
"I'll let you know that Slater doesn't make me see any colorful sparks, so don't get too sad."
"As if I care. If Valentine's Day is the plague of love, soulmates are the rats that carried it."
Annie scoffed, offended.
Britta continued: "Yeah, I said it. I don't buy into the idea that two people are just meant to be from the day they were born. And neither should you. I don't need an higher force to tell me what to do, because guess what? I got free will."
"Technically soulmates and free will aren't mutually exclusive. You're still free to choose." interjected Abed.
"Am I, Abed? Is anyone really free in a culture industry-" she was cut off by the collective groan than arose from all of them.
Annie sat straight in the chair and asked: "So if you met your soulmate what would you do? Would you just leave in name of some principle?"
"Oh please, have you seen the men she's into? She's never gonna have to deal with that problem," Shirley joined the conversation.
"Thank you, Shirley." said Britta, with a smug smile on her face.
"That wasn't a compliment."
Annie's voice got an octave higher when she spoke: "Well I think it would be nice to have a soulmate."
"Of course you think that, you are nineteen. Girls are told since the day they are born that their sole purpose is to find their man, and live happily ever after. That's what they want you to do, not what you want."
"I know what I want! And just because I'm not as cynical as you doesn't mean I'm naive!"
Britta was about to argue, but Jeff cut her off: "Enough! I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we actually get some work done now? Some of us have plans tonight."
"I'm just saying, aren't you guys even a little curious? Wouldn't you want to know who your soulmate is?" Annie asked, and looked around the table for approval.
"I don't care."
"And what? Deprive the rest of the women of the chance to sleep with me? Right, she wishes."
"Seeing colors would be cool."
"If the Lord really wanted us to see colors he would have given us color vision from birth."
"I don't care, but not on any principle, because that would mean I've spent more than thirty seconds thinking about it, and that's how little I care."
Troy was listening, but he didn't say anything. He tried to look really busy finishing his doodle of a spaceship, but that conversation was making him nervous. His leg was bouncing up and down under the table as he listened to his friends mock the concept of soulmates, praying that no one would bring him into that conversation. Because, even if he would never admit it, he cared about this. He always has.
That's why he cannot bring himself to tell them anything. They act so above it, they would tease him endlessly about it if they knew. Troy wants to be taken seriously, he doesn't want them to talk down to him or treat him like a child for believing in this. And while he knows that his friends wouldn't have any ill intentions, and he usually can take some lighthearted teasing, this is different. They wouldn't know what it means for him. Because they're normal.
Admittedly, Troy's experience in relationships wasn't very extensive. He had a couple of girlfriends throughout high school, but never anything too serious. That wasn't what bothered him, though, because plenty of his mates have never been in serious relationships. What always bothered him, is that even as he was actively in one, he didn't seem to get the point of relationships. He was pretty sure he did everything right, even the hard stuff like remembering the day they got together, but there always seemed to be something that escaped him; like a missing puzzle piece: even if you can still recognize the picture without it, you can only stare at the vacant hole once you notice it.
He thought that maybe he only felt that way because he knew that none of them were the one. That must be why kissing other girls felt odd, and not all that pleasant. He was waiting for her, his soulmate, and once he'd met her it would all make sense. Everything would fall naturally into place at that point.
Relationships are supposed to be magical, they should make you feel warm and jittery but in a good way, or at least that's what everybody says. But that was never the case with Troy. He approached dating the same way he would approach football: he trained to better at it, he learnt what worked and what didn't, what he was and what he wasn't supposed to do. It was the right thing to do, to the point it was expected of him. He would have got a nice girlfriend, and a football scholarship in a decent college, and a bright future ahead of him.
It was never something he did for himself, just like football, or the Jehovah's Witnesses gatherings. It was a performance. And when he really realized how much of his life didn't feel like his own, he got scared and dropped everything. He broke up with his then-girlfriend, he injured himself on purpose, he cut off all of his old mates.
Now, as he sits by Abed's side, in a dorm room at the lowest-ranked school of the area when it comes to education, football awards, and sanitary standards, he thinks that it must have been the best decision of his life.
There's no expectations of him now. He can take a dance class, he can hang out with his real friends and sincerely enjoy all the nerdy stuff he was ashamed of before. It's great. And since he enrolled at Greendale, he has been worrying way less about relationships. With no one to pressure him, he never felt the need to look for a girlfriend. He basically only made a move when he and Abed had something planned. It might sound weird to only hit on girls if your best friend is also doing it, but it's actually very normal if you have an awesome best friend like he does.
Everything changed that night though. Now he wouldn't even be able to tell why he listened to Jeff's advice about the costume in the first place. Jeff was undoubtedly the cool one in the group, and Troy would be lying if he said he didn't crave his validation a little. His words struck a chord in Troy where he's especially susceptible, so he did what Jeff suggested, and dropped the Ripley costume. He didn't actually expect anything to come out of it, and he regretted it almost immediately after he had that argument with Abed. But everything's different now.
Somehow he has met his soulmate, and all his fear are suddenly back - as well as his hopes.
He really didn't think he would still care this much, after all he's been much more carefree lately. But it turns out he never got over it, he just buried the issue deep inside him, and now the dam burst open and he's flooded with uncertainty, and curiosity - but in a good way. This time he knows he's right. He won't feel out of place anymore, once he finds her. He found the missing piece.
A yawn makes his way through his body, and it grounds him again, reminding him that he really should be sleeping.
He looks over at Abed. He still looks so fresh, like he hasn't been staring at the TV all night long, and he's still furiously writing in his notebook. Troy thinks again of his Ripley costume that he found completely destroyed on the library floor. When he woke up he wasn't a sexy Dracula anymore, so a part of him hopes that maybe he hadn't been a total idiot and at some point in the night he got back in his epic costume. A smile tugs at his lips. His soulmate must be pretty cool if she liked the costume.
He cannot say for sure how the night really went, but he knows he has to address this at least: "Hey Abed," he reaches for the remote and presses pause, "I'm sorry for calling you a nerd earlier. If you even remember that."
Abed takes a few seconds to look up from whatever he's writing down now, and Troy is not even sure he heard him, but then he speaks: "I am a nerd. You were right. There's no need to apologize."
Abed sounds sincere, like he really didn't expect an apology, which makes Troy feel even more guilty now, and also mad on Abed's behalf because he should be demanding an apology from him.
"No Abed, I was rude. It was wrong and I owe you an apology. Also, if you're a nerd, so am I. What do you say, we go as Kirk and Spock next year?"
Abed aims finger guns at him, "Nice. Still best friends?" he asks.
They reach for their handshake at the same time.
"It's so late, we should really go to sleep" Troy reminds him.
"Oh. Right. Sleep."
"Race you to the top bunk?"
"Three, two, one, go!"
They do this every time. Abed always gets the top bunk, but it's fun anyway.
He still doesn't tell him anything about his newfound soulmate. Now that Troy thinks about it, he doesn't really know what's Abed's opinion on the matter. He knows what his favorite movies on the subject are, of course, and all of his thoughts on how the theme is explored in cinema and TV, and how he's always wished to be able to watch his favorite shows in color. But they've never talked about soulmates in their personal lives.
Abed is his best friend, but he's not just that. He's had a lot of friends throughout his life, but in many ways Abed was his first real friend. Around him, he doesn't have to pretend to be someone he's not, he never had to. Meeting Abed had also meant meeting a new side of himself, the one that's the most sincere and genuine. He has never felt judged by Abed.
Yet, something's holding him back this time.
Everything will make more sense once he actually meets his soulmate. She'll know what to do. He lays down in the bottom bunk bed. As he drifts off to sleep, he can see a silhouette form in the back of his eyelids, with dark eyes staring back in his.
It's a chill November day, yet the sun is shining, coating everything in a pale morning light. There's a tree just outside the campus, the sunlight filters through its branches, revealing the red, yellow, orange leaves almost ready to fall. As Troy walks to class, he thinks it must be the most beautiful thing in the world.
Sunlight makes everything a little easier. If the night before he was scared, today he is excited. He hasn't slept much, he woke up very early in he morning, unable to even think about going to sleep again. He laid still for God knows how long, to avoid accidentally waking Abed, as he watched the dawn slowly making its way through the curtains. Every time he looked at the room he found it different, like the light was morphing the space around it. Now, with the sun fully up in the sky, and the ground covered in colorful leaves, mornings might have suddenly become his favorite part of the day.
He doesn't know what he expected. He goes to class, gets his usual lunch in the cafeteria, gives Abed his pickles because he knows he likes them but wouldn't ask for them, sits at his usual spot in the study room, waiting for something, anything to happen. But nothing happens. Maybe he imagined his soulmate would know exactly where to find him, that she would be waiting for him at their table, and he would know instantly it was her.
Of course it couldn't be that easy. He should have known better. Now, as his last class of the day is about to end, he feels himself growing restless, because he really doesn't know what to do, and he needs to let it out but he doesn't want to tell everyone about it, especially not before he can ever know who she is, but he's also really bad at keeping secrets, and he feels like his brain is going to explode.
Right now, there's one person who, he knows, wouldn't judge him.
As soon as the professor dismisses the class, he sprints out of the classroom and heads to the study room, hoping he can find Annie alone. She's always the first to arrive. Today, he was so quick he actually catches her in the middle of the hallway.
"Hey Annie," he runs up to her, "can I talk to you for a second?"
"Troy!" She smiles, "Oh, I think Abed has a meeting with the AV club today, so he will join us later."
"Yeah, yeah, I know that. I was looking for you."
"Oh!" She looks surprised, then her eyebrows furrow in a confused expression, "Oh. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. No. It's complicated." Troy looks around, just to make sure no one else from the group is there.
"Hey, we can go outside if you want?" Annie seems to read his mind, and he's incredibly grateful for that. He gives her a nod, and then they're heading outside, turning the corner of the building to get some more privacy.
"So, what is it that you want to tell me?" Annie asks again.
Now that he's there, in front of Annie, he realizes he really doesn't know where to start. He didn't think he would need to prepare a speech for it, but maybe he should have.
"Troy?"
Annie's eyes look even bigger than usual, wide open, staring up into his. The natural lighting makes the blue of her iris stand out even more, creating such a neat contrast with her dark eyebrows. He didn't even know her eyes were blue before.
"Okay Troy, what's wrong? Because you're starting to scare me,"
"I-I can see colors."
He said it. He immediately feels lighter after admitting it. He's only kept that in for about half a day, but he feels like that greek guy must have felt after he finally got his boulder on top of the mountain.
"Oh my God, Troy! Who?" Annie shrieks, jumping up and down.
Right. That part. He forgot about the part where the boulder rolls down and he has to push it up again.
Troy inhales deeply, and says: "That's the problem. I don't know."
Annie immediately stills and looks at him with a furrowed brow.
He continues: "The Halloween party. I woke up last night and I could see colors, but I don't remember anything."
Annie's expression softens, "Aww, Troy! Do you have any idea of who it might be?"
"Not at all. I only remember hanging out with you guys."
"Well..." Annie puts her hand on his arm, reaching out to comfort him, "I'm sure you'll find her. After all she must be looking for you too, right?"
"I guess?"
Annie looks at him, studying his face intensely: "Why are you telling me about this?"
"Because... I feel like you're the only one who understands... this. You know, the others don't care about soulmates, but I kinda do. And I don't want them to, like, laugh at me for that."
"Troy, they're your friends. They may act like jerks sometimes, but they would all be supportive, you know."
"Yeah, I guess. I don't know, I feel like I just want to meet her before making it a big deal. This is probably the kind of stuff I should discuss with her, too, isn't it? Like, what if she doesn't want people to know we're soulmates, and she'll hate me for telling everyone before we could talk? Or worse, if I don't find her, then I'll look like even more of an idiot-"
"Hey, hey, relax. I won't say a word until you're ready. Thank you for trusting me."
"Thank you, Annie, you're the best. I felt like I was going insane."
For a second, Troy sees a glimpse of the old Annie from his high school in the woman in front of him. The stuck up girl rumoured to have a pill addiction that everyone made fun of. He thinks of how he might have never really known her, of how he was so close to living a miserable life as someone he wasn't. Of how he did live like that for a long time, and probably hurt people like Annie more than he ever intended, and how she's still here with him, fierce and forgiving at once. His eyes fill with tears, and if Annie notices she doesn't mention it.
"So," Annie begins, her voice an octave higher than normal, "what's your plan to find her?"
Troy laughs, embarrassed: "Well, honestly, I have no clue. I don't know where to begin. Can you... Will you help me?"
She reaches out and hugs him, squealing excited, "Of course I will!"
When she lets go, she speaks again: "We should probably go now, the others must be waiting for us. But we'll talk more about it soon."
The others were indeed waiting for them, bickering about whether Annie being five minutes later than usual called for an emergency intervention. Whatever that meant.
"Okay, first of all, the most obvious thing. What do you remember about that night?"
"Almost nothing,"
"Let's start from that almost. What are the few things you remember? Any detail might help."
"I just remember hanging out with Abed, really. We were trying to, uh, impress some girls? But it didn't work out very well."
"Any chance that one of those girls might be her?"
"Mmh... I really don't think so, they seemed very underwhelmed."
"Well, they might be a start anyway, if they caught your eye."
"I honestly am not sure, I kinda forgot all their faces."
"So wait, do you remember them or not?"
"I remember that moment clearly, like it was a normal night. I guess I wasn't paying much attention."
"If that happened when you were still in an... unaffected state, you would recognize them if you saw them again, wouldn't you?"
"Maybe?"
"Alright, let's try something else. Where were you when you woke up?"
"Just on the floor."
"If you met your soulmate that night, you were probably with her until we passed out and lost our memories. She couldn't have been far from where you were. Did you notice anyone?"
"Uhm, not really... "
"Troy. You woke up with color vision and your first instinct wasn't to look for her?"
"It was all very confusing! And I was just... distracted."
"Distracted?"
"Look, I couldn't remember a thing, I didn't know what the hell happened. I just woke up, found Abed, and went home- I mean, to his dorm."
"So what, did you just ignore the whole soulmate issue because you were looking for Abed?"
"That's not what I said! He was just there, I wasn't looking for him."
"Okay, whatever, can you try to remember who else you saw then?"
"...I don't know. I think she must have woken up and left before I did. Or maybe we just didn't happen to be together when whatever it was hit us. That's not that weird, right?"
"...Right."
Looking for your soulmate that you erased from your memory, while also trying not to let everyone else around you know you are looking for her, is much harder than anticipated. Troy spends his days scanning every corner of Greendale, trying to find a face that might trigger a memory from that night. He thought that maybe, within a couple of days, when he wasn't overwhelmed with the shocking new amount of information he had to deal with, he might have started getting some of the memories back, but that wasn't the case. He still doesn't remember.
There was a Soulmates Club at Greendale. They organized activities for couples, or events to meet more people with color vision, it was a place where you could seek advice and share your doubts and questions. No other school had anything like that, because the majority of people don't meet their soulmate during their college years. Greendale was special for many reasons: some say it's because the median age of the school is fifty, some argue that it's the experience of Greendale itself that shapes you into someone who could only be compatible with other Greendale students. Or maybe the club was simply founded by students who needed some extra credits and now it's still going for the same reasons.
Anyway, that was the first place where Troy went looking for her. He and Annie both agreed that the most logical thing to do. So, he started taking a longer way to the study room after his lessons, to pass by the room where they had their reunions and notice if he could find a new face who might be there alone. He kept checking for one week, two weeks, and more, with no results. He checked the list of the members of the club, and the last people to join remained a couple that signed up in September, way before Halloween.
Greendale had a couple of classes on color theory, too. She might have joined them right after that night, maybe she was an art major that had been waiting for this moment. Abed takes one of the courses, it would have been so easy to just ask him if he's seen any unfamiliar faces there lately. Yet he doesn't ask.
"Troy, can't you just tell Abed?"
"I told you, I would like to actually meet her before telling everyone."
"I'm not talking about everyone though, I'm saying you could just tell Abed, like you told me. It seems that keeping secrets from him is way harder than dealing with whatever the consequences might be, don't you think?"
"I mean, I really don't know how Abed would react to that."
"But he is your best friend. He wouldn't judge you for whatever you're feeling."
"I know, but like, you know he doesn't deal well with change, what if me having a soulmate causes him to stress out, what if he thinks it will mess with the current balance of the group, or something?"
"Troy. It's your soulmate. The study group should the last of your concerns, this is about you! And you being in a relationship wouldn't affect the dynamic of our group."
"You don't know that. But Abed does."
Troy has tried everything. He read dozens of fashion advice blogs to learn how someone with color vision would dress. He even read one of those Ten Subtle Ways To Tell If Someone Can See Colors article, which turned out to be completely useless, because in what world is "Can you pass me the blue pen?" subtle. He started staring at the stoplight just outside the campus and try to guess who could see the red light from a distance.
None of that led anywhere. The few people who might have had color vision were clearly already in a relationship. All he learnt from that was that a lot of people really didn't care about road safety, colors or not.
He anonymously submitted a very vague announcement to the Greendale Confessions Twitter page: "Looking for a lost soulmate. She will know. Please contact me at [email protected]" Luckily for him, that account has blocked the entire study group after the incident (don't ask), so he doesn't have to worry about them finding out. There wouldn't be any way to trace it back to him really, but he still didn't want them to stumble upon the story of the loser who lost his soulmate and make fun of him.
At this point, it's even become more embarrassing for him. If admitting he cares about his soulmate is scary, admitting his soulmate apparently doesn't care about him is so much worse. Even if it's hard to keep the secret, it's a good thing he did, because he really wouldn't want to explain that yes, he has a soulmate, no, he doesn't know who she is, and no, she won't look for him.
He's growing increasingly frustrated with his soulmate. It doesn't help that Abed keeps suggesting to watch soulmate romance for their movie nights.
"Why isn't she looking for me?"
"What if she doesn't know where to find you?"
"Be serious, Annie. She was at a Greendale dance. She knows where I am, she just doesn't care."
"Don't say that. We don't know that."
"What other explanations do you have for this? It's been weeks now, I have been looking for her every day, I even made a Twitter announcement about it. I put myself out there and she's done nothing."
"...Maybe it's just not the right time. Troy, I think you should let go, for now."
"What?"
"This isn't good for you, it's stressing you out, and if she doesn't want to be found... maybe you just have to give her some time. She will find her way back to you when you're both ready, she knows where to look for you, right? I trust that you will meet again, you're soulmates after all."
"I guess..."
"I don't want you to go crazy over this, and I'm sure she wouldn't want that either. Don't waste your time trying to force something that's premature. Have some fun, these are your college years after all. Most people don't even hope to find their soulmate this young, you have all the time in the world."
"Thanks, Annie. I don't know, I guess you're right. I don't have much of a choice anyway if she doesn't want to be found."
This is why he doesn't do non-soulmate dating. Mariah is pretty, she's probably smart too if she's a librarian. The only problem with her is that the longer he listens to her, the more he wants her to stop talking.
The night started well, he was even enjoying her company, everything was fine; until she chose him over Abed. They both agreed that whatever choice she would make, they wouldn't get upset. Abed won't break the deal, he's not bothered by the rejection, but Troy is. The way Mariah dismissed Abed did no sit right with him.
Troy was ready to be the one to be rejected, and he was fine with it. However he was not ready to be the one to be chosen, to hang out for the rest of the night without Abed and with a girl who does not understand the cultural impact of the Saw franchise. He hates this. He is still trying to figure out which part of Abed's analysis of the movies would make him undatable, or better, which part of her brain doesn't work.
Abed not being a good romantic prospect has to be the dumbest thing he's ever heard. He cannot understand how she had the chance to hang out with Abed and chose not to. If it was up to Troy, he would always choose to hang out with Abed- like right now. So he storms off, looks for Abed, and doesn't look back at her once.
Later that night, when he's sitting sitting on Abed's couch and munching on some popcorn while a sappy romantic comedy plays on the small screen in front of them, he realizes he hasn't thought about his soulmate in awhile. He listens to Abed laugh at all his jokes, even if he usually hates when people speak over movies, and thinks that if he had found his soulmate he wouldn't be here now, in his best friend's dorm room on Valentine's day. Maybe he really doesn't need her, after all. Maybe this isn't the right time for them, and that's okay - more than okay.
"Hey, Troy. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, Annie, what is it?"
"What does it feel like, to get a soulmate? I know your circumstances are... particular. But did it feel any different for you, when you knew you were in love?"
"Honestly it's really hard to say."
"Could you try?"
"I can't really explain. I was very confused and scared, but also relieved? It was really weird, but probably just because my whole situation was weird. It is... comforting, in a sense, to know someone out there is waiting for you. But I don't think I'll know what it's like to be really in love until I meet her."
The campus is an incredible spectacle during a game of paintball. Every surface is covered in splatters of colorful paint; in each room, each corner, the walls tell the stories of the people who paced their floors, those who lived and those who died. Troy almost cannot remember what it was like to play with greyscale vision. He is so mesmerized by the vortex of colors, he almost forgets what's on the line.
"Commence Operation: Troy's Awesome Leadership Is Never In Doubt."
They need to save Greendale. The future of the school depends on him. He is in charge of this part of their plan. Earlier that day, he decided to step up, to take the lead and bring together all the students that were left to protect this place. Now he bears the responsibility for the outcome. He hopes, prays that they succeed.
Today, the world may remember him as a hero. Or, the Greendale students may remember him as the guy with outstanding plumbing skills. Still cool. (Way cooler than a "network TV good looking" lone wolf cowboy.) (Abed's words, not his.) (Not that he cares, he wasn't that special and not that good looking.)
Before pushing the door open and charging at the City College Storm Troopers, he stops and looks at Abed. He is so charismatic in the role of Han Solo, so confident, in a very different way from his usual attitude, but not any less magnetic. It's almost unfair how good Abed is at that, how he can change all of his mannerisms to fully immerse himself in the role he's playing, how he can make his voice deeper and his gaze sharper in an instant.
He holds eye contact, as they clap their guns in their signature handshake. His mind goes to a scene in particular from The Empire Strikes Back.
Han and Princess Leia share a passionate, desperate kiss. They don't know if they'll see each other again.
"I love you!" She confesses.
"I know."
Troy has to fight the urge to say it out loud. Abed would get the reference, he knows he would. He would solemnly recite his line back, he can picture him so vividly. He still says nothing.
He rushes through the library. He shoots a few precise shots at his rivals, jumps from one hiding spot to the other for as long as he can, but eventually they find themselves cornered, with very limited ammunitions. He knows it's over then. He can only hope the rest of the Greendale crew is doing better.
"I had a dream it would end this way."
A line of Storm Troopers is lurking just around the corner, waiting for him. Dozens of paintballs hit him all at once, every inch of his tank top is covered in all kinds of colors. It's all up to his friends now.
It doesn't take long before he hears it. The fire alarm rings, and seconds later, paint is raining all over him. The thick liquid sticks everywhere and coats all his surroundings in an hopeful bright orange. He falls to his knees, they did it.
Greendale has been saved. The study group's last meeting of the year is dismissed, and summer has officially started.
All his friends head home. He was supposed to go back to the mansion with Pierce, but he left the study room and never came back. He doesn't have a ride and frankly he's not even sure if he has a place to stay anymore. So he heads with Abed towards his dorm room. He's been spending so much time there lately he doesn't have to ask, and neither does Abed.
They enter the room, still covered in orange paint from head to toes, careful not to make too much of a mess.
"You did great today, Troy. You saved the school."
"Thanks, buddy. You did great, too."
"It's easier to be the outlaw than the hero. All I had to do was put on an act. You actually saved us."
"Trust me, it's not any less cooler. Annie certainly didn't seem to mind."
He doesn't know why he brings that up. He noticed, throughout the day, the quiet glances Annie was throwing at Abed. It was really odd. The campus had survived a Star Wars like invasion from a rival college, and it was only the second strangest thing to happen at Greendale. Because the first had to be the unsettling chemistry between Abed and Annie.
"Oh. Don't worry about that, we only made out in the context of the Star Wars scenario. The fabric of the group remains completely unaltered and is not at risk at all"
Troy's mouth falls open.
"You made out?!"
"Yes. She was my Leia. Is that a problem?"
"Yes!" Troy really, really wishes his brain was further from his mouth. "No!" he quickly corrects himself.
Annie was his Leia. Of course. It was the most obvious choice for the role. Usually, it would be Troy who would be Abed's sidekick, his partner in crime. Troy is not used to being in the background of Abed's scenes, but he tries not to think about it too hard. All their other friends rarely commit as much as they do. Apparently, paintball is an exception, and making out is on the table. That's fine.
"What i mean is," I thought I was your Leia sounds a little too pathetic even for him, like he wants Abed to pull him in, hold his face in his hands and kiss him senseless, which he doesn't; he was just feeling left out for a moment. So he covers as best as he can, "you can't just... go and kiss people like that. Annie's sensitive, you know,"
"I know Annie is sensitive. I also know she's generally attracted to alluring but ultimately unobtainable men and I knew she wouldn't harbor any romantic feelings towards me the moment Han was gone."
Abed was probably right, he always is. But Troy is still confused, for lack of better words.
"Did...did you like kissing her?"
"Sure. Would have been more pleasant if I wasn't ingesting paint, but it made for a great cinematic moment."
Troy feels like his stomach just did a flip.
"Do you like her?"
"I like her as a friend. It's already been established that neither of us are into each other."
Why would he kiss her if she was just a friend? Abed doesn't go around kissing his friends. He certainly doesn't go around kissing his best friend, at least.
"Wasn't it weird? Kissing your friend?"
"No. We were in character. There's nothing weird about that."
Abed starts humming a song, collects some clean towels and a bathrobe and asks: "Do you want to shower first?"
"No, it's fine, you can go."
"Okay. The shower will probably be a mess, though. I don't know how all this paint will go through the drain."
The room is filled with the noise of the shower running, and Troy cannot stop thinking about Abed and Annie. It was just a kiss in character. Abed doesn't lie to him. And even if it wasn't just that, even if there was something more between them, frankly Troy believes that the "no dating within the group" rule is stupid. So everything is fine, really.
There's no reason to keep thinking about who initiated the kiss, if it was clear that it was just an act to everyone who saw that, if Abed's lips are as soft as they look when he applies his chapstick, so he doesn't. He really isn't thinking about any of that.
The bathroom door opens, and Abed comes out wearing his pajamas, his hair still wet and flat on his head. He rummages through his drawers, and pulls out the pajama set he usually lends Troy when he stays over. As he hands it out to him, Troy notices a single drop of orange paint on Abed's temple that wasn't washed away by the shower get. He instinctively reaches out to clean it.
Abed's breath hitches almost imperceptibly, in a way that would have gone unnoticed by anyone but Troy.
"Sorry you had- paint." Troy pulls away his hand immediately. Abed is not always comfortable with being touched, especially if it's unexpected. Now though, Abed doesn't look upset or uncomfortable, instead he is just observing him.
"We should move in together." Abed says suddenly.
Is this really happening? Did he just imagine that?
"What? I thought you didn't want to."
"I didn't. But I think we've gone through enough now, it feels natural for us to make this step. Plus, I imagine things would be awkward with Pierce in his mansion now. We can start looking for an apartment right away, if it's still what you want."
"Of course, buddy!"
Troy is beaming. Sharing an apartment with his best friend would mean tenfold possibilities for hijinks and shenanigans. They could have a sleepover every single night if they wanted to and only ever eat pop corn for dinner. They probably shouldn't, but they could.
If Troy is being honest, he expected this moment to come eventually. He's been spending more time in Abed's dorm than in Pierce's mansion, so it made sense to look for an apartment for the two of them. Their cohabitation has been tested enough, they both know they wouldn't get sick of each other. But Troy had never dared to ask again, afraid of rushing Abed into something he didn't feel ready for.
All the worries he might have had are gone and already forgotten when he steps in the shower. If blood rushes to his cheeks when he tastes the chemical flavor of paint on his tongue, no one will ever know.