Chapter Text
Two weeks later
Nightmares weren’t uncommon on The Edge. It’s what you would expect for a group of young-adult, dragon-riding soldiers of war, but it was awful nonetheless. Mostly, whoever it was pretended it didn’t happen, or at least ignored it, so everyone else did too, taking the time to be a bit more gentle with them that day until they sprung back like a well-made coil from Hiccup’s inventions.
But it was uncommon to hear a distinctly feminine cry from right beside Hiccup’s hut, stemming from a voice that could only belong to one person.
Hiccup bolted awake the moment he heard it, fumbling with his prosthetic and taking the stairs three at a time to reach her. Toothless noticed the commotion and followed in his rider’s wake.
“Astrid?” He was out of his hut and wrenching open the door of her’s in under ten seconds. “Astrid, are you alright? Was that- that scream- was it you?”
Stormfly squawked, looking sadly up the stairs she was too big to reach through. Hiccup gave her a gentle scratch on the chin. “It’s alright, girl. I’ll talk to her.”
He found Astrid writhing in her bed, curling into a foetal position like a wounded animal. A sheen of sweat covered her forehead. Her eyes were scrunched shut in agony.
“No... no, please, please- ”
A gasp caught in his throat. Astrid sounded desperate, and that couldn’t be right because Astrid was never desperate.
“Please, I’ll do what you want, just please . Not that,” she pleaded. Hiccup was hit with a horrible need to kick and scream and punch something. Astrid Hofferson never pleads.
“Please don’t touch me, no, please , not there, not-”
Hiccup‘s stomach dropped into his foot. Had Viggo... no. Hiccup shut the thought out of his head as soon as it came. He wouldn’t. He was a vile person, but was he that depraved?
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry... don’t hurt me,” she begged, Astrid Hofferson doesn’t beg, not unless the situation was unspeakably awful-
It hit him what he’d known but refused to accept already. Viggo tortured her. Already, he was connecting the pieces of what happened. What the riders all kept from him.
“Astrid, ssshh , it’s ok, it’s just me, it’s Hiccup.” He stepped away, careful not to overwhelm her.
She opened her eyes, and a flicker of recognition crossed them. “Hiccup?” She reached out towards him with a trembling, disbelieving hand, and ran her fingers along his shoulder pad, meeting firm, solid, smooth, very real leather. He saw her relax a bit. “Hey.”
“Are you alright?” He asked, cautiously cupping her face with his hand, the other holding her hand. She froze, but didn’t jerk away. He wasn’t sure whether removing his hand from her cheek would make her more startled, so he left it. That way, he could at least get a feel for her body temperature and pulse, if he could find it. She was breathing so fast he could probably feel it on her temple.
“I- I’m fine, Hiccup, it was just a bad dream.”
“Astrid, you were crying so hard you couldn’t stand, and you looked at me like I was going to kill you,” Hiccup said, worry overtaking his gentle nature. “That’s not just a bad dream.” He looked at her, and her eyes darted away. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“It was... oh Thor , on Viggo’s ship, he-” she steeled herself, taking a deep breath. Something small and vulnerable sparked in her chest. She grabbed his hand tighter, like he was the sole thing keeping her from falling from a cliff. “Please say you won’t be disgusted.”
He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t confused. Worry, sadness, angry, he’d expect. But disgust?
Pushing the feeling down, he reached a careful hand to smooth down Astrid’s hair. “Astrid, I could never be disgusted. Whatever happened on that ship wasn’t your fault, ok? It was Viggo’s.” Hiccup felt a surge of burning anger so potent he felt dizzy, and he sucked in a lungful of air to steady himself.
She leaned in close to his ear, and said “Viggo... he made me- he slept with me.”
For a heart-stopping moment, neither said anything. Hiccup’s face froze in an unrecognisable expression.
Then, so quick it was an instinct, his arms crashed around Astrid’s body like a wave. “Oh my Gods.“ He paused. “Oh my Gods , Astrid, I’m so sorry, I- I- I should’ve been there-”
“Hiccup, it wasn't your fault,” Astrid said, reaching for his hand. He jerked it away, and Astrid fought to hide the hurt on her face.
“Astrid, if I was there-”
“-Viggo would've done it anyway, and he would've held it against you. Ryker would've killed Toothless and we would've all been captured for far longer,” she finished.
“I- alright.” Hiccup hung his head, trying to chase the image of Astrid -alone, bleeding and frightened- on that ship floor. He thought back to the way Snotlout stood in front of Astrid against Viggo, Heather and Astrid talking quietly in the corner of the healing ward when he went to see them after the battle, and felt some reassurance that the other riders helped keep her safe. It was the most he could hope for.
“Sorry to ask, but have you had your...” Hiccup made a vague gesture.
“I’ve had Freya’s visit, don’t worry.”
“Oh, thank the Gods,” Hiccup muttered. An unreadable expression crossed Astrid’s face. “I- I’m so sorry. For what he did. I can’t even imagine what it must’ve been like.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Hiccup,” Astrid said, her voice flat. She pointedly looked out of the window. “Thank you, though.” He took the cue and left, leaping onto Toothless and taking off in under five seconds.
The moment he found a sea stack, he landed, stepped off Toothless, and cried so hard he clutched his sides. His shoulders trembled, and he felt so horrified he wanted to be sick. Toothless tried to nudge his way past the viking’s arms, but he just curled tighter into himself.
His head was ringing like he'd been struck with a bludgeon there. It was so loud in his head, he couldn’t think beyond the one thought in his mind.
Viggo assaulted Astrid. Tough, strong, brave, beautiful, kind, proud Astrid. He must’ve known controlling her in that way would’ve ruined her, torn her pride to shreds and made her anything but strong. As for tough, if she was that frightened two weeks after it had happened, he could only guess how she felt hours after. At least the other riders took care of her, held her and comforted her when he couldn’t.
Would he never stop owing them?
It seemed like hours before he heard three sets of distant wing beats coming closer. Hiccup pulled his head out of his arms to look.
“Hey, Hiccup.” Snotlout climbed off Hookfang, his face solemn. “Astrid told us she told you what happened.” He noticed Hiccup screw his eyes shut, but he tried not to flinch away from it all. They needed to talk about it.
Snotlout cautiously sat beside him. “It wasn’t your fault, Hiccup. You have to know that.”
“Snotlout, it is my fault. And this isn’t like the other times I blame myself, if I was there , I could've done something, anything .”
When Fishlegs spoke, his voice was solemn, his eyes downcast. “She took whatever he had planned to do to you. And he was going to hurt both your dragons.”
Hiccup let out a wail, and buried his head in his hands.
“Fishface,” Snotlout snapped, flicking him on the ear. “ Not helping .”
“No, he's right. I wish it was me. I wish I could take all that pain.”
“Hiccup, she was unconscious from some drug Viggo gave her. She could barely talk. She couldn't move for hours. You don't want to be her,” Ruffnut said with horrifying severity.
He cried out in anger, kicking a stone from the sea stack. The world seemed to crumble around him.
“Hiccup, stop!” Snotlout shouted. “Get it together, there's nothing you can do.”
Tuff put his hand on Snotlout’s arm to steady him.
“What if it was you, Snotlout?” Hiccup screamed, his eyes ablaze with fury. “How would you feel if the love of your life had- had that done to them, and you could’ve stopped it?”
“Woah.” Snotlout gasped. “When you put it that way, I’d be angry as Hel. ”
“But he did threaten Toothless’s life,” Tuffnut pointed out. “Saving lives is kinda your whole thing, you know?”
“But is it all even a life worth living?” Hiccup blurted out. His words rang into the night like a dragon’s cry. Everyone turned to look at him, horrified. How could their brave leader think of saying such a thing?
“I- I- I just meant that this... we’ll always remember it our whole lives. We’ll always remember being scared, and in danger, and hurt, and captured. Astrid won't forget what Viggo did to her; you all won't forget what Viggo did to you… I won't forget what you did to me.”
A sombre silence settled over the group. “ God's, Hiccup. We're so sorry,” Fishlegs said for the billionth time.
“No, it’s ok. We all do things we’re not proud of.” A shadow settled on his face.
“Hiccup,” Fishlegs said, “Viggo manipulated you.” The word struck through the air like a whip. “He forced you to make a choice you wouldn’t have made by threatening Toothless, and drove a wedge between us so it would hurt all that more. He manipulated all of us into hating each other so he could step in and take us down one by one.”
“And it worked! ” Hiccup couldn’t suppress the rage in his voice bursting out of him. It felt like lava in his mouth. “If I hadn’t landed on Caldera Cay, if I’d have been a little bit longer in waiting to attack, if-”
“Eh, don’t worry about the ‘if’s and ‘but’s,” Tuffnut said, shrugging. “Sure, it could’ve been a disaster. Sure, we could've all died a horrifically gruesome death alone and our last thoughts being how much we hate each other-”
“ Tuffnut! ” Snotlout gently smacked him on the back of his helmet. “How did I become the only sensitive one?”
“No, I see his point,” said Hiccup. “We could've done a lot differently. You could've been less mean when we were younger, and I could've been kinder and stayed, which would've endangered our dragons’ lives, but Viggo might've been easier on you guys. Who knows?”
“Ohh…” Fishlegs's face broke into a smile. “You're saying there's no way of knowing what might've happened in the course of our lives so there's no purpose in worrying about it.”
“Exactly,” Hiccup beamed, his shoulders relaxing. “I guess we just need to accept what happened, then move on and live our lives.”
“Are you guys having midnight talks without me?” A new voice asked from the sky.
“Astrid!” Hiccup cried happily. “Are you alright?”
“I'm fine, Hiccup,” she said, dismounting Stormfly. “You can stop worrying about me now.”
“Can't wait for the day that happens,” he joked. “Then I'll be in Valhalla without all these stress lines.” He gestured to invisible creases on his forehead. Astrid laughed, affectionately punching him in the shoulder.
“Of course I worry about you,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “I never stop worrying.”
It's because I care about you, he added to himself. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he knew better than to say it. They weren’t ready, not when the past week’s wounds were so fresh and raw. There would be time, though. As long as he lived, he would wait patiently for the day they were ready to be in a relationship.
The other four gave them a quietly suggestive look. They might be airheads when it comes to a lot of things, but none of them missed the ‘love of my life’ comment.
“How about we take it easy tomorrow?” He said. “Go for some nice flights, have a meal all together, and maybe get to work on those dragon proof hunter chains?”
“Oh thank Thor,” Snotlout sighed. “I am so ready to lie in.”
“Then go to bed, dumbass,” Ruffnut said.
“Not my fault we stayed out here half the night.” He saw Hiccup wince, and mentally kicked himself. “Oh, sorry. Did I say something wrong?”
“I guess it felt like you were blaming me, but it's okay,” said Hiccup.
“No, it's not.” Snotlout said with sincerity. “I should do better.” Hiccup felt his face warm. No one took the blame off him like that. Usually he was the scapegoat when it wasn’t even his fault. To hear someone -Snotlout, of all people- being so sensitive touched a nerve in his heart he wasn’t expecting.
“How about this: we all sat out here, in the freezing cold on a sea stack, talking about life because we're all stupid?” Tuffnut said. When no one laughed, he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “No one appreciates good humour around here.”
“Maybe you're just not funny?” Astrid said, enticing a real laugh out of Hiccup.
“Hey, maybe I am considered the funny one somewhere else. We've still been to a very small amount of the world, you know. Maybe we should cover more of the globe.”
“Globe? The world is flat, you muttonhead, what are you on about?” Snotlout argument.
“If it's flat, then how come Astrid's aunt sailed around the world and came back in the opposite direction? If you walk all the way around a circle, then you come up the opposite way!”
“If you walked around a circle, you would fall off,” Fishlegs interjected. “Explain that.”
“One day, science will recognise my genius!”
“The only thing science will recognise is your monkey brain,” Ruffnut said, socking him in the shoulder.
“Come on, you too? I can’t believe I’m being ganged up on by my own sister-”
“Guys,” Hiccup said, laughing, not even pretending to be annoyed. “Give it a rest.” A yawn escaped his mouth. “I don't know about you but I’m going back to bed.”
He hopped onto Toothless, and took off, the others following behind him. They said their goodnights (although the sun was already rising), each with a genuine, caring smile on their faces. Hiccup bode them goodnight, and walked Astrid back to her hut.
“Uh, do you...” he fumbled for words, “do you want some company tonight?”
“Thanks Hiccup, but I think I’ll be okay,” she said, looking away.
“Are you sure?”
“ Yes , Hiccup.” She bit her lip guiltily. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m sure, thank you.”
He turned around in her door frame. “Send Stormfly if you need me,” he said, waving.
“Okay.” She waited, watching the door almost shut, before she cried out “thanks.”
He held the door with his prosthetic leg. “For what?”
“You know... coming to find me in the middle of the night, caring about me... Just for being you. I like how sensitive you are. It’s what makes... you know, you.”
“Thanks. But it’s no problem. I know you’d do the same for me,” he said.
Astrid nodded. “Goodnight Hiccup.” She pushed the door open, and hugged him. He held her back, resting his chin on her head. She breathed deeply in his arms. Her chest expanded with every slow, even breath. It was the antonym of how he’d first found her -hyperventilating and fearing for his life- and he knew what that meant. He had those nightmares too. But she’d tell him if she needed him. He trusted her to do so. He could feel the group already beginning to trust each other more and more. It felt like healing.
He knew then, whatever happened, they’d get through it. Because they were a team. More than that, they were a family.
And families don’t leave each other behind.