Chapter Text
Xie Lian wasn't panicking, he was really calm, and he hasn't talked to Ling Wen two times already just to make sure the curse wouldn't hurt his husband.
He wasn't panicking.
He wished he had been more careful when making that damned soup, he just wanted to surprise his husband, he was told he was improving!
But what's done is done, no use crying over spilled milk, he now had to make sure his husband didn't have to live through his experiences alone anymore.
He couldn't let San Lang see it was affecting him too, seeing all his husband went through, he couldn't help but hate the fact that he wasn't there.
It was only one week but he had already met his husband in terrible moments of his life, moments where he had doubts, when he didn't value himself.
Moments when Xie Lian had hurt him.
He did his best to try to get his husband to bed, knowing that the next day would be the last, even if he had his husband right there he missed him so much.
It was never a problem to take care of Hua Cheng, it could never be but seeing him so broken made Xie Lian want to cry and hide his face.
It was hard, seeing someone you care about break down or try to hide his insecurities, someone that cared so much about you.
He hated how a chilling scream was what woke him up, a scream so full of despair.
Hua Cheng was still in bed, but his mind was elsewhere, he hadn't stopped screaming for a second, he seemed to be trying to get up, but his legs kept failing him.
Xie Lian ran towards him yet he couldn't without hurting the ghost, unconsciously Hua Cheng was using all his powers to keep everything and everyone away, yet Xie Lian knew, he knew he wouldn't be hurt by it.
A choked sob escaped between the young ghost lips sounding more like a prayer than anything, yet what arrived was so incomprehensible his head started hurting, it was a plea it was an apology it was a confession it was self hate.
He had to cut the connection to the prayer before he could even begin to hear it.
He decided that getting his body hurt would only make the situation worse, hesitating he took one of Hua Cheng's robes and walked with a confidence he no longer had towards the young man that would become his husband.
“Young soldier, is alright, the monster’s gone, we can now rest”
The screams didn't quiet down but he didnt stop, he had to make sure Hua Cheng listened, even if it was only because his voice sounded familiar.
“Young soldier, could you please look at me for a moment”
Xie Lian knew it couldn't be that easy but slowly he saw Hua Cheng stop screaming, only to see him remain deadly quiet, it was almost worse.
Hua Cheng’s face was half covered with his now disheveled hair, tears ran silently through his face, yet his face remained looking as if all his emotions had been drained.
Not knowing what to do Xie Lian approached and sat close to him, leaving enough space for Hua Cheng to run away if he wanted, but he didn't even move.
Any kind of reaction, even if violent, would have been better than this.
“Young soldier, is alright, is over”
Yet Hua Cheng had no reaction, he just stared silently, his eyes lacking the usual playful glint in them.
For the first time Hua Cheng looked dead.
Xie Lian felt himself stop breathing, meeting different versions of his husband was both something he wanted to do while at the same time the thing he less wanted to do.
Because his husband had been hurt so many times.
Because nothing guaranteed his husband wouldn't be hurt again.
But all he could do now was make sure no suffering came to his beloved, because Xie Lian knew that deep down he was similar to Hua Cheng when it came to his loved ones.
Slowly he approached His Cheng, trying not to startle him, finally he could see His Cheng react, it was a small flinch but enough to show he was still here with him.
Dubious, he took one of Hua Cheng's hands and held onto it, calmly stroking it.
Nothing was said for a while after that until finally His Cheng decided to look up and ask.
“Your highness, where are we? H-how did we get out of the temple?”
Xie Lian knew, he knew deep down that what made his husband stop being a small ghost fire and become the calamity he now was had to do with what happened to him in that place, yet now, being asked how he overcame it he could only muster a sad smile.
“We survived”
And that was the truth, they didn't win per se but they survived, they kept on living and learned how to live with it, they learned to heal.
He couldn't lie to Hua Cheng, he couldn't tell him it had been easy, his lies would be seen and it wouldn't help, he could instead let him know that even after all they went through they didn't give up, neither of them.
“In the end we remained being ourselves, I believe that's the most important”
Slowly he approached Hua Cheng, this had been the first time since the curse that he had changed forms, his emotions had been so strong he had unknowingly changed, yet this form was just the one of a crying youth, Xie Lian knew, this was Wu Ming’s face, yet at the same time this wasn’t Wu Ming, they hadn't met yet.
This was a part of his husband that had to suffer while watching him, that was unable to help, the part of him living his worst fear.
Finally he saw how Hua Cheng started showing his true emotions, letting himself breathe.
Once he was able to touch Xie Lian he broke down crying, he seemed to be making sure this was real.
His chest ached so much seeing his husband so devastated, he wanted to help, he needed to help yet he knew better than anyone how hard it was to heal.
His husband needed time, luckily for them that's the only thing they knew that had.
That and the undeniable love for each other.
“Hong-er, it’s alright, you can rest, you’ve done more than enough”
The young man clung to him as if he was going to disappear the moment he let go, his head now buried in Xie Lian’s chest, his tears wetted the fabric but Xie Lian couldn't care less.
He kept caressing his husband’s now crying body, hoping it would bring him some comfort at least.
“Yo-your highness, I’m sorry, I’m sorry , if only I was stronger, it’s my fault , I’m sorry, I’m sorry”
Xie Lian kissed his husband's head before answering.
“Is not your fault, it never was”
“it’s alright, we’re safe”
He wasn’t lying and because of his exhaustion Hua Cheng fell into slumber soon after hearing those words.
What woke Xie Lian up was another scream, Hong-er must have woken up before him, probably not having slept for days just in case something happened to his husband was starting to weigh on him.
“Hong-er dear is alright, this is ou- my home”
Hua Cheng stopped shaking and looked more relieved than anything, then he looked at the situation they were in and his face became completely red.
“Your highness… How could you let me sleep in the same bed?”
He seemed to be trying his best to phrase it the least offensive way he could yet he only managed to sound as a blushing maiden.
Xie Lian decided that he would tease Hua Cheng about it when he regained his memories.
“That’s… the bed is big enough for two?”
He congratulated himself for the quick save, if he had said something along the lines of ‘I was worried about you’, young San Lang would have blamed himself, he couldn't let that happen.
“I- I understand your highness”
No you probably don't but it's alright dear, you’re extremely cute.
“Thank you Hong-er, now, is there anything you wish to do?”
Hua Cheng looked around and simply shook his head.
“No your highness, I have no more wish than being able to protect you until my soul is dispersed”
Xie Lian tried to hold back his fear as well as he could, he knew Hua Cheng wasn't going to leave him again but those words pierced him sharper than any sword had before.
“Oh dear, no dying for me alright? I won't permit it”
His husband seemed confused but it wasn't like they had enough time to explain everything, so with the little time they had he was going to make sure it was worth it.
But what could he do? He was running out of ideas, it was usually San Lang who proposed most of the plans, Xie Lian also did, but his plans were usually more simple, meaning, he was completely lost on what to do.
Should he ask for help to his friends? He kept hugging Hong-er while trying to think, should he take them on a mission to relax?
Beating up an actual danger could help them relax, yes.
Taking his hand to his head he contacted Ling Wen.
‘Sorry to bother, but are there any missions that heaven has not been able to take care of yet? If so me and my husband will take care of them’
After some time an answer arrived.
‘A evil spirit has been detected close to general Pei’s territory, he's been busy so he hasn't taken care of it yet, good luck’
He sighed, still he congratulated himself for the good idea, his husband would have the opportunity to see how strong he became after years.
“Your highness, this lowly one would like to ask something if he may”
He smiled, his husband was just too cute, he just had to fix that terrible way of thinking of himself he had.
He kissed Hua Cheng between his eyebrows,encouraging him to continue, for his husband's shake he ignored the little squeal that came out of his mouth.
“Why is his highness being so nice to me?”
He lowered down his hand and made sure he was staring into Hua Cheng’s eyes before continuing, he needed him to see he wasn't lying.
“Because you deserve this and more, because someone like you deserved to be the happiest no matter what”
Hua Cheng broke down into sobs again, yet he could only be there to support him, he couldn't make his husband value himself.
This was probably what hurted Xie Lian the most, the inability to help.
When Hua Cheng was finally comfortable he spoke again, he had to make sure his husband didn't misunderstand.
“Will Hong-er want to accompany me on a mission? It shouldn't be too dangerous but it might let you experiment with your powers, would you like that?”
Oh that was his husband's excited face wasn't it? He could only laugh in delight.
His husband was okay, they were okay .
“If his highness wishes this lowly one would love to”
Xie Lian would content himself with that for now, he shouldn't push his husband too much.
“Then we should get going”
Usually immediate transportation would be impossible, even for a ghost king like Hua Cheng, but as lucky as his husband was they just happened to have one of their residences close from Pei Ming's territory, making the situation a lot easier.
Hua Cheng stuck as close to him as it was humanly possible, he glared at any passerby they came across, luckily no one seemed to recognise them.
When they finally arrived at the forest Hong-er had finally loosened up a bit and was able to separate from him for a bit, he would still run back as soon as more than five steps were made though.
“What kind of spirit are we fighting your highness?”
Well, he didn't know that but if it was that important Ling Wen would have informed him, he really owed her a vacation.
“While I’m not sure it shouldn't be too dangerous, and even if it was Hong-er doesn't need to worry, gege will protect you”
He saw Hua Cheng bumping into a tree as soon as he said that, he tried to hold back his laughter as best as he could.
It didn't take them long to find the spirit, it had a humanoid form, its hair mixing itself with the water, as if they were one.
It resembled a woman, crying on top of the lake, it didn't even glance at them when they arrived it just kept crying.
It didn't seem like an evil spirit, but Hua Cheng was already lunging forward, he managed to stop him in time.
“Your highness?”
He looked at his husband's confused face and cooed.
“It doesn't seem like an evil spirit so don't attack yet”
he approached the lake, using his qi to walk on top of the water he got close enough to see the faceless spirit, yet he was awarded no response.
“Young miss, could you tell this one what has caused you such sorrow?”
He didn't expect an answer, the spirit did not have a mouth but then the waters started changing as if showing a play, a young man crying in the lake, next to him a elderly, a young kid who had brushed her ankle, a mother with a baby, several faces appeared and the spirit just kept crying, as if it were made of tears.
“Do you hold their sorrows?”
The lake in itself wasn't an evil spirit, but it would make anyone who didn't cultivate feel its pain, it only made sense that it was categorized as evil.
He finally was able to get the spirit to look at him, it was uncomfortable to see no features on its face, even more when he felt the spirit gaze.
He knew he was being observed, the spirit finally got up and walked to the shore, where Hua Cheng was waiting uncomfortably.
It was a shame they didn't get to fight, then he realized something, if the lake spirit where to put all the negative emotions in just one part of its water, then as long as he and Hua Cheng fought it the situation could be resolved.
It seemed the lake spirit thought the same, slowly it separated into two, her form becoming smaller, the other became bigger and the water slowly tinted itself black, this one didn't have a humanoid form anymore, it seemed like if hundreds of faces had been forced into one, too many limbs to feel it was real and it simply wept.
Getting rid of it would be easy for Xie Lian, but he saw the face his husband was making and gave up on the idea.
“Hong-er, if you wish it’s all yours”
He didn't have to specify which one, in no time his husband had already transformed his hands into claws and pierced the spirit, not a deadly blow though.
He jumped and tried different movements on the spirit, probably the ones he had seen people do in the war, yet Xie Lian saw the moment Hua Cheng’s movements stopped being others and became his.
Slowly he started going faster, muscle memory was probably helping him yet Xie Lian could only stare at how magnificent his husband was.
How fast he was learning and understanding how to balance himself better, his foot work only improved with every step.
The only thing left would be a scimitar on his hand, he regretted not having thought of that before impulsively deciding to go on a mission with his husband.
When the spirit finally dispersed Hong-er was trying to recover his breath, more of a habit than a need, still, he was smiling.
“My Hong-er is so good at fighting! Really, really good!”
The proud face he managed to put on Hua Cheng's face was worth it.
“Your highness… This one is really lucky to be praised by his god”
Then his husband fainted, he cursed as he ran to catch him before he hit the ground, the spirit though looked at the new tears he had accidentally absorbed, Hua Cheng’s tears and stared.
It wasn't weeping anymore, it just stared confused.
It seemed to have realized that humans could also cry from happiness, the spirit form now looked less as a woman and more like a small Hua Cheng, as if it absorbed the faces around him, then he stared at Xie Lian and changed again.
This time it seemed like a mix of both, once satisfied with its demonstration the spirit returned to the lake.
Staring dumbfoundedly Xie Lian couldn't speak, he just hoped none of his friends decided to pay the spirit a visit until it had taken other peoples faces.
Then he took Hua Cheng in his arms and threw the dice.
It didn't take longer than a shichen for Hua Cheng to wake up, no words needed to be exchanged for Xie Lian to know, this was his husband.
“Missed me gege?”
Jumping to his husband's arms he laughed.
“Oh you don't know how much”
Hua Cheng kept kissing him when he suddenly stopped.
“Gege was so bold to this one when he didn't remember, maybe this one should do this more often?”
In response he got a small punch and a kiss, at the same time.
“This husband has just got you back after a week, you will not lose your memories for the time being”
Hua Cheng laughed happily, sounding more like a teen with a crush than anything.
“Yes gege, this husband won't go forgetting about his wedding day”
He was punched again but the punch held so little power that Hua Cheng could only laugh, he loved his husband so much.