Chapter Text
In the last ten months Buck got a taste of what it would be like to stay away. He promised Chris he would come back but something in Buck wanted to stay away from the cause of his hurt. But he knew if he did the 118, the first place he had ever felt like he belonged, would get farther and farther away. Not for the lack of trying, because they tried. Everyone had a life and whenever they were available Buck was the one who could be reached. In the end the channel was the only thing keeping them in the loop more often than not.
He didn't want that, no amount of traveling and exploring would supplement his need for being back home. The 118 is his home and he had to go back.
To go back was to also face the truth, his year of traveling started for a reason. To move on, had he done it? Was he ready? No. He wasn't, but if he kept running, how was he to know when he would stop. If he made an exception at the end of the year and extended his vacation by a day, what was going to stop him from extending it more? He had to go back.
Eddie, the love of his life. Buck had fallen for him like snow on a warm day. Even if he managed to reach Eddie he would be no more than a drop of rain. It had happened so gradually and at the same time so suddenly Buck was left in utter disbelief it had even happened. They were at the firehouse playing Mario Kart, side by side shoulders brushing against each other. One glance at Eddie and he was gone. Eddie was glowing and had this smile on his face that practically made Buck want to preen at the fact that he was the reason for it. He lost the game.
Then, in his flat he lost his mind. Did he tell Eddie? What could he do? His whole support system knew Eddie, he couldn't ask for advice. Hell, Eddie was the person he would go to. How woul–he just wouldn't tell anyone.
So he didn't but everyone found out anyway.
Everyone knew and he was stuck, having to pretend he didn’t. He lied to everyone in the hopes that eventually his love for Eddie would fade and it would just be an anecdote in his life he could just laugh at.
It didn't go away, in fact it grew so much it could practically suffocate Buck in his sleep. It did, he dated around and tried, Buck tried so hard to move on, he just couldn't do it. So he ran away, to the other side of the world, in the hopes that maybe this time he could. Space was what he needed. Right?
The past ten months were filled with so much laughter and towards the end, for the first time in a long time, most of the laughter was real. He had fun meeting new people and becoming someone other than the Buck who was in love with his best friend. He even Slept around a bit. Sharing his bed with fellow travelers, men and women. They all craved a connection, solo traveling is lonely and sometimes you just want to hold someone else for a night.
Last night was a moment of weakness, he had seen the man at the bar nursing his drink. His whole demeanor screamed military man. Buck approached, maybe it was the drinks but he looked so much like Eddie. They moved to the dance floor and it was practically like they were having sex right there in front of everyone. They left the bar together and entered a hotel together. The sex was amazing and for the love of all that was holy, Buck was stuck in a fantasy. A fantasy where Eddie got on a plane to where he was to sweep him off his feet and take him home with a promise to never let him go.
But it was Just that a Fantasy, something that could and would never happen.
So there he stood, frozen, looking at his best friend, who was standing next to the bed where Buck had just had sex with the Eddie look alike. Buck who was currently in nothing but his Boxers, covered in hickies.
“Eddie, what are you doing here?” he’s confused how Eddie was here, how did he even know where to find him. He entered the hotel he was in yesterday with the Eddie look alike.
“Buck, I–I don't know.” Eddie was standing in the room he had just had sex in. Eddie was in his room. Eddie was supposed to be in LA. What the hell was he doing in Bulgaria?
“What do you mean you don't know?”
“I had a…dream.” What?
“What? A dream? What kind of dream do you have to have to come all the way here to Bulgaria?” Eddie just stood there, a part of Buck wanted nothing more than to reach out to hug the man.
“I–I saw you die, the lightning strike. I woke up screaming for you. Ana–left.” Eddie’s should rise and fall in an echo of something Buck has done many times
“...she left? Just like that?” Buck breaths out. “That's not your fault Eddie, it was a dream. I know those can feel real at times…she left?” Buck’s mind reels, how can she leave over something Eddie can't control.
“I needed to see you, I saw where you were on Twitter and hopped on a plane. I need to see you, safe.” Eddie steps forward. They are almost touching, Eddie lifts a hand up letting his fingertips graze over Buck’s cheek. Buck lets his eyes close and leans into it.
Suddenly Eddie’s lips are on Buck’s. It’s electric and everything Buck has ever wanted it to be.
“NO!”
Buck pushes Eddie away from him, eyes wide. They look at each other, Buck slowly processing what had just happened.
“No. You-you don’t get to do that.” His voice choked into uttering the words.
“Buck.” Eddie’s voice cracks through the air, lashing at Buck's heart.
“No, this-“ Buck gestures between them, “This can’t happen Eddie. You're married.” Even if Ana left they were still married.
“Buck.” The whisper ringing like a siren in the silent room.
“No, you are an amazing man and you are-“ Bucks voice cracks. “You are not a cheater, no matter what else you are. Ana is your–you're not a cheater.“ Tears were running down the buck’s face in giant globs.
“I’m sorry.” The words trigger something in Buck and he wants to scream and shout. To say that he loves Eddie and to not apologize. To say he hates him and hopes he di–no, not that…never that.
The air around them is tense and awkward, he didn't want this. He wants his best friend, he never wanted things to get weird, it was why he never confessed. He’d rather have his best friend than to not have him at all. He had to let go.
Eddie was standing there in all his glory, so close…so so so close . Buck takes the last step forward and hugs him. Buck hugs his best friend as tight as he can and knows he would do anything for him, but Buck won’t let Eddie compromise his morals. There had to be a line.
“I love you.” Buck gently utters the words he had never truly said out loud. “But you have a family and even though I love you. I have to let you go.” Buck let out a shuddering breath, and relaxed against Eddie. “I need to let you go and go home.”
As if the world registered his words the scene shifts and suddenly Buck is alone. Eddie nowhere in sight, and he cries. His eyes open and he can feel the heat of the Eddie look alike next to him. It was a dream. They can feel real sometimes.
Buck takes a deep breath and wipes the tears he had shed. He had given into a fantasy last night, his dream was just a continuation of that fantasy.
He turns his head, takes a good look at the Eddie look alike and looks for the differences. Their noses are different, the shape of his brows are too curved, the color of his hair is a couple shades too light.
He is not Eddie.
And that's okay
He can go forward knowing his best friend would always be his best friend.
Buck is okay with that.
He can move on.
****
The video started with a fast-paced clip of every video Buck made in reverse. There was no audio. The flashes of several different videos passed by in the blink of an eye. Suddenly it stopped and a few people recognized the clip. The intro to his first video.
“I’ll be making videos this year. I don't expect much but I hope that the people who come on this journey with me come out feeling better about life. At least more than before.”
The video speeds up faster and faster as audio bites jump out at the viewers.
‘Lets goooo!’
‘Can you feel the love tonight!’
‘God this VIEW!!”
‘Ohmygod ohmygod imgonnadie imgonnadie AHHAH!’
‘HEE HEE michol JACKSON!’
‘HAHAHAHA!!’
‘I can do this.’
The video slows down and the audio cuts out. On the screen is Buck sitting on a huge stone surrounded by greenery. The audio fades in and the sound of wind and crashing waves. It is a beautiful shot. The camera takes a sweeping motion as it captures the surrounding sights.
“Hey.” Buck calls out, the camera finally turns back to Buck and centers on him. “That's enough.” He seemed to be talking to the camera operator but somehow it felt like Buck was talking to the viewers. Footsteps could be heard walking away from the camera. Now it was just Buck and his viewers.
“How are you, I hope your day went well. You must be tired, me too.” Buck turns away from the camera for the first time. “It was fun wasn't it? We got to experience so much together.” Something about the way he spoke caused a few Bevans to tear up.
“You know this wasn't meant to last. It's been a year since I began this journey,” Buck smiles, “what a ride, but all rides end as do all things. We had so much fun together, I'll never forget this year…ever.”
Bevans around the world grew sad as they finally made the connection. This was the last video.
“This isn't the last video.” Bevans around the world jumped at his words. Buck laughs. “It won't be the second to last either. It'll just change into something new.” Finally Buck looks back at the camera. “This isn't goodbye, it's a see tomorrow. Because tomorrow is a new day, and that day could be the beginning, the end or something in between. But it will always, first and foremost, be a new day.” Buck sighs. “By the time this video airs I'll be on a plane back to LA, back home. Several of you are only here to watch certain types of videos and will most likely not make it through this transition. This is me saying, to you who came this far, thank you watching. See you later.”
Several Bevans would usher those deserters out and not mourn their disappearance.
“To those of you who intend to stick it out…Lets have fun in this next edition. You can think of this video as an epilogue of sorts, this last year was the last chapter.”
Maddie smiled as she watched her brother breath, he sat still and spoke to her and his viewers.
“I wanted peace out of this trip, to finally get out of my own head and into the real world. I think I did it. It took a while but I got there, eventually.” The Bevan in Texas began to cry as she watched as the YouTuber she connected with began to shed a few tears. She had threatened to kill anyone who made him cry and now that he was, she cried along with him.
“For a while I thought I would just be surrounded by the clutter in my head. I know my head is a scary place that will constantly try to tear me apart. Now, I know I can tell the difference. Between what is real and what my insecurities want me to think.” Buck smiles.
“See you tomorrow.”
The video ended with a sound bite of Buck laughing wildly.
-*sniff* what the f*** Buck!! *sniff*
~yeah 😭
-so this is not the end right?! Right?! There will be more videos.
-damn wy this so emotional
-when did i get so invested!!!!!!
-you know what this means right??!! You owe us a video tomorrow
-i was one of the first subscribers and id like to say 🤧i love you buck
~same 🤧
-so no more traveling and more Firefighting stories… maybe family cameos?
~this
~this
~this
-im just gonna put this on record so i dont forget but this video cured my depression
-guys i cant believe it was only 3:48 long
~WHAT!!
~no way it felt longer
-be safe buck!!!see you later
-he said in a past video he knows how to cook will there be cooking content?’
~YES i want it!!
-does this mean we can finally meet the manager and not the back of a computer screen
~i want to see the origin of those cute laughs that make buck smile
Buck smiles at the comments and closes the laptop. He had posted the video yesterday and his last traveling video was about to go live.
The pop-up banner appeared with a Chim, and the video was officially live.
It started with Buck standing on the cliff of the last video, staring down below. It was high, higher than any cliff dive he had ever done, a dangerous type of high. Buck is running and a backpack that no one noticed catches the attention of the viewers. Parachute.
“Whooohhooo” Buck screams out as he jumps and pulls at the string. As he glides through the air, Buck laughs and waves at the camera still on the cliff. A boat off the coast makes its way to Buck when he lands in the water.
The scene changes and suddenly the viewers get a shot of Buck in front of a rock wall.
“Hey, guys. I am in Italy.” he extends his arms with a grin on his face. His face drops and he frowns. “No that's not right,” Buck steps a bit closer to the camera. “So today is my first day officially solo and I am in Italy!” Buck then groans again. “That doesn't sound good either. This is a lot harder than it looks.”
Everyone watching then realizes exactly what kind of video this is. Bloopers. Or at least a video where they get to watch Buck figure out how to become a solo content creator.
-he posted a video!!!!
-two in a row what gives?
-thank you!!!
-My prediction was right🤯 i said he owed us another video today and he did!!!!
~werent you the one who had that movie star buck dream???
~yes👍
~the prophet strikes again!!!
-buck how are you, are you home now?
~yeah how was the plane ride what are you doing now
-damn when you watch it like this Buck was really a newbie creator
~yeah at some point his videos became better quality
~it happened so gradually that i barely noticed
-watching hot guys make mistakes and becoming shy is now my fetish
~same
~same
-can you believe its be a year since he started releasing videos🤯
~it feels like a long time and a short amount of time, at the same time.
~i know i feel the same
-i love you Buck!!! Can’t wait for the next chapter!!!
“Buck!!” He turned to watch as his superman made his way to him. Buck stepped forward to meet him and pulled Christopher into a crushing hug. He savored the feeling before letting go.
“Hey, bud, so good to see you.” Buck’s grin practically slices his face in half, then he turns to the man that caused all of this to happen in the first place. “Hey, man.” He drags his best friend into a bone crushing hug. Eddie returns the gesture and they let go at the same time.
“Welcome back, Buck.” Eddie says with a smile.
“Good to be back.” Buck laughs as his attention is taken by Darla, she is wearing a bright Pink onesie and a garish neon green bow. “How’s my little Goddaughter!! He sweeps her from Ana’s arms giving the woman a brief hug before blowing raspberries onto Darla’s cheeks. The now one year old squeals and slaps Bucks face.
“Uncle Buck!!” A little voice calls out drawing his attention.
“Jee!!” He gently hands Darla back to Ana before getting on his knees so that Jee could hug his neck. “How’s my favorite niece doing!!” The five year old screams as Buck stands up with her in his arms and goes into a spin.
“She was so excited that her uncle Buck was coming today.” Maddie's voice sounds out and Buck stops spinning and heads in her direction. With Jee still in his arms Buck gives Maddie the best hug he could.
“Maddie, so good to see you.”
As the day goes by and Buck settles back and connects with his family he realizes he is not exactly where he is meant to be, his loft although great for Buck 2.0 wasn't exactly enough anymore.
“What do you think, Domino, want to move out?” Buck looks at the Dog sitting at the foot of his bed. He takes the short Barked reply as a yes.
So before he began studying to get recertified to go back to work, Buck went house shopping. He then purchased even more equipment for his YouTube channel. Through his channel he earned enough money to find a decent one story house in a good neighborhood.
His first video after he came back to LA went live.
-oh my god, Buck is a homebody
-he can cook!!! What can he not do
-is everyone he knows hot?
-a black lesbian firefighter? Is she single?
~yeah she mentioned her wife literally every five seconds
~it was cute
-I didnt realize firefighters have to know a lot to become firefighters, well i knew but not that much
~yeah i know enough to know i cant do it.
~he looks so cute when he studies
-his fire captain is such a dad
~ikr i honestly thought they were father and son until Buck said ‘he’ like my dad’ i cried 🥺
-he looks hot in his uniform 🥵
-im so glad he is moving, his loft is cool but very little in terms of security.
~yeah im sure people with little regards to personal space will appear
-everyone he knows is cool
-i could never i can barely lift 40 pounds let alone 140
~same id die 😂
The three bedroom two bathroom house hosted a lot of get togethers and sleepovers, his extra Guest Rooms became the kids room Jee Christopher and Darla being the main ones to use them but every now and again he would host all the children, those sleepovers were filmed and uploaded, the videos focused on Buck and he tried to keep their faces from being shown as much as possible. He filmed a lot of morning and night routines, his work life videos received a lot more attention than anything else.
His viewers were curious about life as a firefighter, he filmed what they would do between calls and even a few low priority calls. Kitchen fires, medical calls and all with the permission of the patients. He even interviewed a few. He kept the content as on the surface as he could, never delving into team dynamics and making the 118 a part of his content. His channel was about him, not his co-workers, that is a line he kept so that his viewers didn't misunderstand and approach him during a call. He also made sure to always put a disclaimer and notice before and after each video centered around his job, just to be sure.
The department chief was happy about the positive publicity and even featured in a video about crowd control. The channel was about his life and his viewers noticed his lack of…well–relationships. He had moved on, little by little he let loose and met other people. No one caught his attention for long. Most assumed he went over his crush on Eddie. That is until Buck announced his engagement.
Years went by and life in the 118 changes, Bobby retires and Chim takes up the mantle of fire captain. Maddie is promoted and has another kid. Hen becomes a kick ass foster mom, choosing to foster troubled teens with Karen. Ravi gets engaged to his long term boyfriend.
Eddie and Ana get divorced, irreconcilable differences. Perhaps the fact that Ana had somehow managed to break Eddie's heart had something to do with it. Not his business. He was there to pick up the pieces.
Two years before the divorce, at 32 Buck meets a woman, Beatrice. They meet at the supermarket where her daughter had accidentally put her candy into Buck’s basket. The awkward conversion that followed caused them both to stutter and blush. He left with her number.
Beatrice was a divorcee; she worked as a social worker and has a 13-year-old daughter. Their first date involved dress shopping for her ex-husband’s marriage. That night they got so drunk they stayed over at Buck’s and, discovered by Eddie, passed out in the entryway.
Later that year Buck introduced Bea and her daughter to the 118. Everyone was happy for him.
Three years later Buck went down on one knee and asked her to marry him.
She said yes.
A year later they adopted two boys, becoming a family of five.
Thirty years later they get divorced, and Buck marries Eddie, but that’s another story.
A long long long long story.