Chapter Text
“Dammit” The devil muttered. Charlie put a hand on her fathers shoulder, the two of them receding their demonic forms.
Behind the two, Vox was keeping a firm grip on Alastors slim body, he was breathing heavily. Vox guiding him to the ground, the two kneeling beside each other.
“Dam witching hour” Alastor managed to cough out, Vox sighed “Seriously?” looking at his partner, who was smiling brightly “it's 3am dear” Alastor reminded him. Vox laughed, Alastors heart warmed.
“You just got possessed and you're making jokes about the time?” Vox asked “Why of course” Alastor huffed, resting his head Against Vox’s shoulder. Ears dropped down.
“You know” Alastor told him “I threw a clock out a window once” Vox sighed, he already knew where this was going “I wanted to see time fly” Alastor delivered the punch-line, the crowd of their friends that had gathered around all groaned, Velvette tried to contain her laughter.
“That was so shitty” Vox said, “Then why are you laughing?” Alastor asked, looking up at him with those wide red eyes, Vox couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him.
“Well, we better head home” Alastor said standing up, Vox quickly moved to grab him by the waist to support him “Take it easy” Vox said “Vox, I’m perfectly fine” He said, still smiling.
That smile was strained as ever “No you're not” Vox said, “And that's ok” He assured Alastor.
The deer demon took in a shaky breath, the smile dropping down oh so slightly, but still there, as though it was still being held up by stitches, he could see the conflict in Alastor’s eyes
Vox put his free hand against Alastor’s cheek “What are you thinking?” Vox asked
“I lied to you” Alastor said, not daring to look Vox in the eye.
“No, you didn't” Vox said “Not telling someone, and lying are different” Vox explained “lying implies I asked you about it, I always told you that you had a choice for telling me” Alastor looked up to Vox, while he couldn't deny that was the truth, the guilt still ate him alive.
“Your fathers a piece of shit for taking that choice from you” Vox said, Alastor half-laughed at his comment “And I don't love you any less” He explained “If anything, I hate your father more”
“I'm broken” Alastor said “No, you're hurt” Vox said “Big difference, and you have a whole family to help you heal” Vox said, Alastor turned to his fellow overlords and hotel patrons, each of them smiling at him, not out of pity, or shame, but love and compassion.
You would've thought that after so many years at Vox’s kind, gentle side, the Radio Demon would be familiar with others showing compassion to him.
He would never be used to it, he never thought he deserved it. But maybe he can grow out of that mindset
“We’re also gonna beat the shit outta ya dad” Angel dust yelled from the crowd, Alastor laughed, he could always rely on the spider to say what everyone else was thinking. He looked back to Vox, words stuck in his throat, Who still kept a firm grip at his waist.
Nearly 100 years Alastor had been carrying the weight of his father’s actions alone, nearly 100 years Alastor had pretended it never happened, he’d convinced himself he deserved it, he wanted it, his father was doing the right thing, that it was normal for a child to be locked in a room for hours on end, being drugged up and violated.
The only person who had ever known was Daphne, as the very same thing had happened to her.
Now his other family knew, the family that had seen him climb the ranks of an overlord, fight this man perhaps once or twice, some had seen him at his worst, most at his best, some knew the deal he’d made with the woman who took control of his body no less than 10 minutes ago, some knew what had happened between him and Vox all those years ago.
All this time he’d been hiding, locking all this trauma and hurt in the dark depths of his supposedly cold heart, rarely ever surfacing.
Now he had people who wanted to help him, wanted revenge upon his father and Lilith.
He had people who wanted to protect him.
He’d always been the one to protect others, been the punching bag that horrible people needed, to spout their insults and drive knives through his skin.
He didn't have to be a punching bag anymore.
He didn't have to hide it anymore.
He had a choice.
Vox watched as everything came crashing down for Alastor, watching the tears well in his eyes.
—
“My dad always told me not to cry” Alastor had said, many years ago, Vox was stitching Alastor up after he’d come home with yet another injury. He’d told Alastor it was a deep and painful injury, he was surprised he wasn't crying.
“How come?” Vox asked “I’m not sure” He’d confessed “He just said not too” Vox had finished stitching and was wrapping a bandage around Alastor’s mid-section.
“Well I'm saying you can” Vox told him, holding Alastors hand in his, the other resting on his shoulder “Your fathers an idiot, you can cry” Vox said “I won't blame you” He added.
That night, Vox learnt Alastor never wailed, never sobbed, he let the tears roll down his face in complete silence, sniffling a few times here and there.
He was a quite crier, Vox wondered if that was natural, or yet another skill he’d obtained during his time alive.
That night, Vox held Alastor as though he would disappear at any moment, he whispered sweet words of comfort in his ears and the two fell asleep wrapped in eachothers arms.
When Vox woke up, Alastor was still latched onto him like a koala, fast asleep, the red morning light peaking through the curtains.
Vox didnt let Alastor go until the deer insisted they had things to do for the day, but that didn't ease the unsettlement in Vox’s gut, he kept an eye on Alastor after that, learning to read the signs of when he needed something
When he needed a shoulder to cry on
—
Vox could see that Alastor was hurting, everything he’d pent up for years was slowly bubbling to the surface.
And he wasn't going to let Alastor suffer alone, Alastor would never have to get used to being alone ever again.
“It's ok, you can cry” Vox said, Alastor buried his head in Vox’s shoulder, letting the tears fall.
No force in heaven or earth would hurt Alastor again and get away with it.
He’d fight God if it meant Alastor would never have to hurt ever again.
“I’ve got you, Alastor” Vox reassured him, holding the back of Alastor’s head while the other hand clutched his lower back. The demon was shaking and holding onto Vox like a lifeline.
Vox was going to paint hell red with the blood of those who had ever hurt Alastor.
Hell needed a fresh coat of ‘paint’ anyways.
—
Eventually everyone returned home, Velvette opting to stay the rest of the night (morning?) at the hotel.
They took the remainder of the day off, most people rising by the middle of the day. Lucifer took the time to heal his wing, the others were not too gravely injured, except for Charlie but she healed up quickly due to her regeneration and healing abilities. (And Lucifer keeping a very close eye on her)
Vox and Alastor sat in the latter’s room, Vox behind Alastor with one hand wrapped around the deer’s waist, and the other hand was being traced by Alastors long, black claws.
Alastor had begun explaining what his father had done to him, it only fueled Vox’s rage as he was coming up with creative ways to murder the psychopath. There were too many good options.
“He would have these needles he’d drug me up with, probably meth or something like that” Alastor was explaining “Other times he’d just force whole bottles of alcohol down my throat, mostly he would just pin me down and…” Alastor trailed off, not wishing to go into the details of his abuse.
“He would hit us, sometimes not a lot, Maman took most of the beatings” He explained “sometimes he would have a dagger, or a glass shard, sometimes a piece of scrap metal, he wouldn’t stab me, more like tiny little cuts” His voice was so soft and quite, not the sort of voice you'd expect from Alastor. “That's no better” Vox assured him “I know” Alastor groaned.
“And I hate it, I hate it so much, I know logically I couldn't have stopped it, he was taller and bigger than me, he had more power then me and I hate that so much!” He said, his hand dropping from Vox’s, the television overlord just held his boyfriend slightly tighter.
“And I wanted to tell you” Alastor said, after calming down a little, leaning against Vox’s chest “I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how” Vox moved his hand from Alastor’s grasp to rest between his ears, slowly and gently using his claws in a feather-light touch to pet the demon.
“It's a complicated ball of emotions” Vox said “And I’ll tell you however many times I need to, I’m not mad at you for not telling me” He said, pressing a kiss into Alastors hair. “I'm proud of you for telling me now, I just wish the circumstances were different” Vox said, Alastor hummed in agreement.
“I just, I didn't know if I could trust you with it” Alastor said “I was worried that you would think I was… lesser” Alastor guessed “I don't know, its stupid” “I thought the same thing with Val” Vox confessed “And you never thought less of me”.
“This is different” Alastor said “He's my dad, you know? He's meant to look out for me, and play catch with me, or teach me how to tie a tie!” Alastor said.
It made Vox’s heartache, that all Alastor ever wanted was a dad, and instead he got stuck with a selfish, pedophilic, racist piece of shit.
“You know what the worst part of all of it is? not the nightmares, or the torment, or the other… issues that come with it” Alastor explained, “Part of me still loves him, this tiny little piece of me, wants nothing more than to hear that he's proud of me”
And Vox thought his heart couldn't break anymore. The only thing Alastor ever wanted was a fathers love. But there his heart and soul were, shattered into a million pieces hearing this vulnerability come from Alastor.
Vox thought of the way he treated Velvette, Nifty, even Charlie, as contrary to popular opinion, he wasn't manipulating them.
He was giving them the one thing he never had. A fathers love.
It explained why Alastor was always worried people were going to leave him, betray him, why he constantly looked, in those he cared for, the assurance of love and that they wouldn't abandon him.
His father had told him that people would leave him, and that he was worthless, and used, and unlovable.
“Is that why you have a thing against Lucifer?” Vox asked, Alastor chuckled “I mean, he is a short, annoying twink” Alastor explained “But I expected the devil to be… the devil” Alastor explained “I already knew how awful Charlie's mother was, and I’d fortunately grown rather attached to the princess, I didn't want her to have a similar life to me” Alastor explained.
“But turns out he's actually a pretty decent dad” Vox said, Alastor hummed in agreement, “And?” Vox asked, Alastor sighed.
“I suppose I felt the tiniest bit of guilt, that the literal devil was a better father than mine ever was” Alastor explained “He only ever wanted to protect Charlie” He sighed.
Vox took in a deep breath, running his claws against Alastors shoulders and collarbone.
“I think I'm gonna get Charlie to put you in therapy” Vox said “Oh please don't” Alastor protested “I can only do so much” he tried to find the word, “emotioning!” he decided on.
“I’ve been living with it for over a century, going to therapy and talking about it wont change the reality” He muttered “No, but it will make it easier to process” Vox assured him, “Only if you go as well” Alastor said, “What?!” Vox protested “You got brainwashed and abused by a crazy moth!!” Alastor argued.
“Oh god we both need therapy”
“Who down here doesn't?”
The two took a moment to think.
“Charlie?”
“Mommy and daddy issues” Alastor said “And lack of self-worth”
“Vaggie?”
“Exiled from heaven and judges herself based on her military capacity”
“Angel dust?”
“Where to begin?” Alastor sighed.
“Husk?”
“War veteran, his wife left him, gambling and alcohol addiction to cope”
“Lucifer?”
“Religious guilt, his wife abandoned him, he finds sanctuary in ducks!” Alastor argued.
“Nifty?”
“There is not a bone in her tiny body of which society would consider to be normal, plus I'm fairly certain she killed her husband”
“Velvette”
Alastor went to open his mouth, then paused “I actually have no idea” He confessed “She was stuck with you and Valentino for years” Vox shrugged “How did she end up in hell?” Vox asked. The two sat in silence.
“We don't know much about her life and death, just that she has a degree in fashion from Cambridge, her parents were decent and…” Vox was listing “Her favorite Disney film is Beauty and the Beast” Vox said, Looking to Alastor.
“We know nothing about her,” Alastor said bewildered. “She's snarky, smart, good at chemistry” He listed “absolute boss bitch” Vox added, Alastor nodded in agreement.
“We might need to ask her about… her” Alastor said, “Good idea” Vox said “But for now, Carmilla’s gonna want to talk” “Shit” “I know its not ideal” “No, not that” Alastor said “Rosie’s going to fucking hound me for not telling her” He confessed.
“That's what you're worried about!” Vox said “Very much so!” Alastor said, the two ended up laughing.
And for that day, what would hopefully last a while, this small corner of hell, the Hazbin Hotel, was at peace.