Chapter Text
“You know, when I told you to bed Lady Eleanor, I didn’t expect you to do it in my library,” Bill said dryly.
“We weren’t—we didn’t—”
“Looked to me like you were on your way to it.”
Yaz’s cheeks darkened, and she wrung her hands together nervously. “I’m sorry, Bill. I didn’t…I wasn’t expecting that to happen.”
“Considering how irate you were when you first saw her come in, I wasn’t either.”
Yaz pressed her lips together. “It was…a misunderstanding.”
“At least you two seem to be on the same page now,” Bill said, raising an eyebrow. “What are you going to do next?”
Yaz stared at her blankly. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, are you going to court each other now?”
“I don’t…I don’t know,” Yaz answered honestly. Eleanor had said she desired her, but what did that mean? Did she want anything more than that?
Yaz felt a dull ache in her chest at the thought that the blonde might only want her body and nothing else.
“You should probably figure that out,” Bill pointed out.
“What am I supposed to do? Waltz up to her estate and ask her if she would like to court me?” Yaz asked. “She’s still a lady, Bill. I can’t just do that.”
“Who says you can’t?”
“Society as a whole,” Yaz said dryly.
“Fuck society,” Bill said crassly. “There’s absolutely no denying it any longer, Yaz. You need to get an answer, one way or another.”
Yaz pressed her lips together. “I’m afraid,” she admitted softly. “I’m not sure I want to know the answer, no matter which way it goes.”
If Eleanor didn’t want anything more than sex from her, Yaz knew now that it would crush her. But if she did want more…Yaz knew nothing about being a lady. She could already hear the whispers around town, wondering what on earth had gotten Lady Eleanor to court someone so far below her station.
“I think I’ll wait a few days to see if Eleanor comes to me,” Yaz said. “If she hasn’t by the end of the week…I’ll go to her.”
“Suppose that’s something, at least,” Bill teased before growing serious. “If that’s what you need to do, then that’s what you need to do. And no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you.”
Yaz smiled softly. “Thanks, Bill.”
“Always.” Bill tilted her head towards the door. “Now let’s get back out there and enjoy my party, shall we?”
***
It had been two days, and still Lady Eleanor had not called on her.
She’s realised how far beneath her you are. She’s ashamed by how you acted in Bill’s library, throwing yourself at her. She’s probably having a laugh right now about it all–the silly commoner who dared think themselves worthy of a lady.
All those thoughts and more kept Yaz up at night; her sleep had been so restless that she’d nearly fallen face-first into her potatoes whilst eating breakfast with her family that morning.
“What’s gotten into you?” Sonya asked as they worked on their chores. “Ever since Sybill’s party, you’ve been acting strangely.”
“Nothing,” Yaz said immediately. “I’ve just not been sleeping well, that’s all.”
Sonya stared at her for a moment. “Whatever you say,” she finally said, turning her attention back to her sweeping.
“Are you doing okay? With…” Yaz asked suddenly, realising that in everything that had happened, she’d forgotten that her sister was still grieving the loss of Mr. Sinclair.
Sonya shrugged. “I’m fine. It were a foolish dream anyway, thinking that someone like him might marry someone like me.”
Yaz’s heart ached at the thought so similar to her own; she wished her sister didn’t have to feel the same pain she did.
“Love is never foolish,” Yaz said quietly. “Even when it hurts. Don’t forget that, Sonya.”
Perhaps if she said it enough, she would start to believe it herself.
***
They had barely finished breakfast the next morning when there was a knock at the door.
“Are you expecting anyone, darling?” Najia asked as she looked to Hakim.
“No,” he answered, getting up to answer the door.
When he opened it, Yaz’s jaw dropped.
“Mr. Sinclair,” Hakim said, stunned. Yaz turned to look at Sonya, who was staring at Ryan with wide eyes. “We thought you had left town.”
“I did,” Ryan said, his voice regretful. “I will make no excuses for myself. I left, and I shouldn’t have. But now…there is one thing that I have wanted to do for weeks, sir. If you would allow it.”
“I–of course, come in,” Hakim said, stumbling over himself in his haste to get out of Ryan’s way.
Ryan slowly walked over to Sonya, who was sitting rigidly in her chair, barely breathing.
Ryan sank to one knee, and Yaz heard her mother inhale sharply.
“Miss Khan,” Ryan said quietly. “Firstly, I want to apologise. I never should have left, much less left without saying a word to you.”
Sonya lifted her chin, and only Yaz saw her sister’s little wobble. “No. You shouldn’t have.”
Ryan nodded, accepting her words. “I cannot take back the past. I can only offer you my future, and tell you that I will spend the rest of my life making you happy. If you will have me.”
Sonya let out a shaky breath. “You…”
Ryan pulled a velvet box out of his pocket, opening it and holding it out to Sonya. Inside was a beautiful ring, the diamonds catching the rising sun’s rays and scattering tiny rainbows all over the wall.
“Miss Sonya Khan,” he asked softly. “Will you marry me?”
Tears welled in Sonya’s eyes, and she nodded. “Yes. A thousand times, yes.”
Najia let out a shout of joy, clapping her hands as she ran over and threw her arms around Hakim. Yaz couldn’t even find it in her to be embarrassed of her mother’s actions; all she felt was overwhelming happiness for her sister.
Well, that was almost all she felt.
As if he could feel the pang in Yaz’s chest as she thought of Eleanor, Ryan got up, walking over towards her as Najia embraced Sonya, admiring her ring.
“Her lookout spot, where you found her before,” Ryan said quietly. “In the trees, only a little walk west, there’s a little cabin hidden that she had built. She’s there, now.”
Yaz’s breath caught in her throat. “I…” She looked around at everyone celebrating. “I should…”
“You should go to her,” Ryan murmured. “If that’s what you want.”
Yaz swallowed. “It is.”
Ryan smiled. “There will be plenty of time to celebrate. I’ll figure out what to tell your family.”
Yaz licked her lips nervously, her throat going dry at the thought of seeing Eleanor again. “Okay.”
Quickly grabbing her cloak, Yaz slipped out the door and headed to the cliffs.
***
When she reached the cabin, Yaz felt her heart start to race. On the other side of the door was Eleanor—Eleanor, who had told her she desired her, kissed her like she was dying of thirst, ran her hands over her body and caused a fire to burn inside Yaz.
Eleanor, who Yaz craved.
Who Yaz loved.
The realisation hit her like a train, and Yaz’s raised hand froze before she could knock on the door.
She wanted Eleanor. Somewhere along the way, throughout all the time spent butting heads and stepping on toes, she had fallen in love with her.
Suddenly, she knew there was no going back now.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.
Only a few moments later, Eleanor opened the door.
“Ya—Miss Khan,” Eleanor said, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she caught herself. As if they hadn’t been on the verge of tearing each other’s clothes off the last time they saw each other, Yaz thought wryly. “Would you like to come in?”
Yaz nodded, and Eleanor motioned her inside.
The cabin was everything Eleanor’s estate was not—colourful, with lots of trinkets scattered around and art all over the walls.
“It’s the one place I can truly be myself,” Eleanor admitted quietly as she watched Yaz look around. “I come here when I need to think.”
“It’s beautiful,” Yaz said honestly. “Did you paint all of these yourself?”
“Most of them,” Eleanor answered. “Some I commissioned from people I’ve met on my travels.”
“What’s this one?” Yaz asked, walking over to an easel that held a half-finished abstract canvas full of dark blues and warm oranges. “It’s beautiful.”
Yaz watched as a faint blush spread across Eleanor’s cheek. “I’m not sure it would make any sense,” the blonde mumbled.
Yaz tilted her head. “Try me.”
Eleanor pressed her lips together. “I like to paint what I feel,” she admitted quietly. “As you can see, there’s a lot of blue around this place. And I don’t mind that, truly.” She scrunched her nose together. “It’s comfortable. It’s safe. And then…” She swallowed. “And then a bit of light comes in. A woman whose eyes burn golden in the sun, who steps on your toes and drives you insane. Who challenges you and surprises you at every turn. And suddenly, you feel as though you are bound together, like the night sky and the stars. This painting, these colours…it’s home.”
Yaz’s breath caught in her throat at the woman’s words, hope blooming in her chest.
“You said you desire me,” Yaz said quietly, her breath shallow as she stepped closer to Eleanor, their faces mere centimetres apart. “Is that all?”
Eleanor’s gaze flickered around her face, her lips parted. “No.”
Yaz swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. “Say it, Eleanor. Please.”
Eleanor licked her lips nervously. “Yasmin,” she said softly. “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love—I love you.”
The words had barely left Eleanor’s mouth when Yaz leaned forward, crashing her lips into Eleanor’s as her hands found their way into her hair, pulling her ever closer. She kissed Eleanor fiercely, hungrily, and the blonde responded in kind. Slowly, Yaz’s hands began to drift down Eleanor’s neck, brushing over her collarbones before moving to start unbuttoning Eleanor’s shirt.
“Yaz, wait,” Eleanor said breathlessly as she pulled back, her eyes darkened. “I must know. Do you—”
“Yes,” Yaz said simply. “Stars, Eleanor, I love you too.”
Eleanor swallowed hard, her chest heaving as she held Yaz’s gaze.
“Yasmin,” she said quietly. “I want…”
“Take me to bed,” Yaz whispered. “Please.”
***
They were laying side by side, bedsheets twisted around them, Yaz absentmindedly running her fingers over Eleanor’s side when the blonde spoke.
“Marry me.”
Yaz froze. “What?” she breathed.
Eleanor pressed her lips together, as if choosing her words carefully. “Yasmin, I…I have never much understood the intricacies of courtship or love. I never thought that it was for me, if I’m being honest. But since I’ve met you…stars, Yaz, you have never left my mind. I cannot imagine a life without you, and I do not want to. I never wish to be parted from you again.”
Yaz trembled. “But what…what will people say?”
“I don’t care,” Eleanor said earnestly. “Let them talk. If I have you by my side, none of that matters. We don’t even have to stay here. We can travel the world, you and me. Oh, Yaz, there are so many things I want to show you. To experience with you.”
Yaz looked at her, her eyes shining at the thought of experiencing a whole new world with Eleanor. “I’d like that.”
A single tear ran down Eleanor’s face, and she smiled. “Really?”
Yaz nodded. “With all my heart.”
Slowly, Eleanor leaned forward, pressing their lips together. Yaz sank into the kiss, knowing that she never wanted anything more than to spend every day waking up to this.
“Ask me,” Yaz whispered as she pulled back.
To her surprise, Eleanor stood up, grabbing a robe hanging up near the bed and coming over to Yaz’s side of the bed. Yaz sat up and swung her feet off the edge of the bed, clutching the sheets to her chest.
Eleanor got down on one knee, looking up at Yaz, her hazel eyes shining. “Yasmin Khan,” she said, her voice clear and true. “Will you marry me?”
Yaz felt tears spring to her eyes, and she smiled. “Yes. Stars, Eleanor, of course I’ll marry you.”
And when Eleanor kissed her, it felt like home.
***
One year later
Yaz waited behind the garden hedge, waiting for the swell of the music to announce her entrance. She wiped her hands on the front of her dress, not wanting them to be sweaty when she joined them with Eleanor’s.
Eleanor. Who was about to be her wife.
Taking a deep breath, Yaz turned the corner of the hedge, her eyes instantly meeting Eleanor’s. The crowd seemed to melt away as she walked down the aisle, intent on her goal.
She slid her hand into Eleanor’s, revelling in the familiarity and comfort and warmth she felt as she did.
She barely processed the words the officiant spoke, lost in Eleanor’s eyes as she was.
“Do you, Yasmin Khan, take this woman to be your wife?”
Yaz’s eyes shone as she looked at Eleanor. “I do.”
“Do you, Eleanor Brown, take this woman to be your wife?”
Eleanor beamed at her. “I do.”
Yaz smiled, taking a rope her (now married and visibly pregnant) sister handed her. She gently wrapped it around her and Eleanor’s joined hands before kissing the blonde deeply.
“I love you,” she whispered softly as the crowd applauded.
“I love you, too,” Eleanor said with a smile.
As they walked back down the aisle hand in hand, basking in the rare sunlight, Yaz knew that her life was only barely beginning.